Top 50 iRiffs

[mattwnelson]

On the notable "Planet of the Apes" riffs (boy, I hope that was on my list... I love that one) I'd have to say the entire evolution fight sequence. I can't quote the whole thing, it's too long, but it almost had me breathless with laughter.

[Darth Geek]

Yes, I'm definitely liking the progression of it...one thing, though...

For some reason, I thought I got listed twice, because The Thing poster ended up on the FilmQuips Planet of the Apes riff.  At least, that's how it's displaying on mine.  Maybe my browser's just weird, but it's what's showing up.

Thanks for noticing that. Fixed.

[D.B. Barnes]

#43
Ronin Fox Trax - A Nightmare on Elm Street 5
(Total Points: 26    Number of Lists: 3  Highest Ranking: #11 @ScottOTD)

Had this at #22. It's a solid track with plenty of good laughs. I guess I'm a little biased having written a bunch of riffs for it, but it's definitely a fun time with a rock-stupid movie that delivers a lot of laughs. The two RFT projects I've been a part of have for have both been a blast to write for. Ronin picked nice. target-rich goofball movies for his submission riffs. I only wish the sound quality was a little better on this track.

#42b
Hor-Riff-ic Productions - Friday the 13th Part 2
(Total Points: 27    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #7 @ScottOTD)

Didn't make my list just because it's not one of my favorite Friday riffs by Hor-RIFF-ic, but that doesn't mean it's not worth checking out. They do a good job with all of the Fridays and you can't really go wrong with any of 'em.

#42c
JC Walsh - Red Riding Hood
(Total Points: 27    Number of Lists: 3  Highest Ranking: #7 CJones)

#42e
One Man Band - The Thing

Sigh. Both are on the "watch list." J.C. Walsh and One Man Band are two of the finest solo riffers in the game. I'm almost certain one of my OMB picks is gonna show up later on. It damn well better!

#41
FilmQuips - Planet of the Apes
(Total Points: 28    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #11 David)

Damn, my short list keeps getting longer. I haven't seen anything from these guys, but I like who's liking it!

#40
Hor-Riff-ic Productions - Tremors
(Total Points: 29    Number of Lists: 3  Highest Ranking: #8 Anais.whatever)

Didn't make my final list, but another solid effort from Team Hor-RIFF-ic. This is a submission riff which always means a really nice variety of jokes and joke styles.

#39a
Hor-Riff-ic Productions - Friday the 13th part 4
(Total Points: 30    Number of Lists: 3  Highest Ranking: #15 Artie)

#17 on my list. I have a real love/hate relationship with this riff, having spent seemingly countless hours going through it minute by soul-crushing moment in order to write gags. I think anyone who did the same would agree that the experience bordered on traumatic. But at the end of the day (many, many days) it was worth it. The final product turned out great. Lots of good joke variety and just overall entertaining. Oh, and Final Chapter MY ASS!!!

#37b
Ronin Fox Trax - The Last Unicorn
(Total Points: 33    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #4 Anais.whatever)

Shit. I gotta admit I spaced a bit on this. Not saying it definitely would've made the final cut of my list, but this is a very solid, funny riff from RFT. One of several holiday-themed riffs that are fun to dial up when the time comes around.



Soooo, what's the E.T.A. on that sticky?

[LucasM]

But D.B. ...what do you think of the winners so far?



Well, I now have Zardoz, Red Riding Hood, The Thing, Planet of the Apes, and Krull all in my Netflix queue.  Funny thing was: I was down to about six films I actually wanted to see in my list there, and wasn't finding much there that I wanted to see, but if this is any indication, I suspect I'll have quite a queue lined up by the time this LoC is over!

[D.B. Barnes]

Not sure if joking or annoyed by long, needless post. You usually include winks and shit when you're joking.

I guess it didn't occur to me that people might not give a fuck what I think about any of this.

Personally, I'd like to hear a bit more chatter from the folks placing on the list. This must be pretty cool for you. Feel free to share your thoughts!

[Darth Geek]

I guess it didn't occur to me that people might not give a fuck what I think about any of this.

Personally, I'd like to hear a bit more chatter from the folks placing on the list. This must be pretty cool for you. Feel free to share your thoughts!

Oh absolutely, chatter away. I too am kinda surprised a the lack of interstitial comments.

[Darth Geek]

#35
Hor-Riff-ic Productions - The Stuff
(Total Points: 35    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #7 Artie)


We finally find out what was eating Gilbert Grape. This Blob ripoff at least has the decency to have a different tone and is more about consumerism and it's effects. Featuring a surprise endorsement of right wing gun nut militias at the end.


This movie is most known for: Michael Moriearty is awesome, even when he is trying to look stupid.
      Increasing the sales of ice cream at movie theater consession stands. Unfortunately, most of it was so they could take it home and feed it to their dog to see what happened.
      Being a PSA against eating anything you see bubbling up out of the ground. Was this really a pressing concern?

Noted riffs:
I don't know any. Please post some and I will add them here.

About this riff: Gary wants to say something:
   Not many people have heard of, seen, or own this movie and it continues to be our lowest seller.  But we couldn’t care less.  This one was always a personal cult favorite of ours and we had to do it.  It had the most original plot, which is to say it had none what so ever.

What else is there to say?  It’s a movie about a killer dessert!  Mo, was a great character to have and provided some great lines. “Oh, that’s a sweaty frond!”


Available on Netflix Instant? Yes

Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/hor-riff-ic-productions/hor-riff-ic-stuff

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjF4VK0836w

[Darth Geek]

Due to an error, this iRiff had more points than shown here, and willl be posted later when it comes up in the list.

Turkey Shoot - Alcohol is Dynamite

[Darth Geek]

#34 (no longer B, since Alcohol Is Dynamite got moved)
Hor-Riff-ic Productions - Children of the Corn
(Total Points: 36    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #3 @ScottOTD)


Before Linda Hamilton had to deal with Terminators trying to kill her kid, she had to deal with kids trying to terminate her! What a twist! This movie is a multi PSA against extreem religion, having children, and adapting Stephen King novels. Starring a taller and creepier Deep Roy, and a proto-Carrot Top, this movie spares no expense to at least have a creepy LOOKING cast.


This movie is most known for: Promoting child murder even better than Beware! Children at Play.
          We still don't know for sure if corn is grass or not, but these kids have been smoking something REALLY trippy.

Noted riffs:
(No one's looking.  No one's looking.) --- "Well they're looking now."
"Worst parade ever."


About the riff: Gary wants to chime in:
   This was only our second track and we still hadn’t hit our stride yet, that being said we’re very proud of this track.  Satan joined our ranks for the first time on this one and was reduced to sync line only duty as he got a feel for riffing.

  Stephen King has been very kind to us, we’ve done a few of his movie adapted novels now and this one was personally fun for us being from Iowa and having, like all Iowans, a vast knowledge of corn and what dwells infront of and behind it’s rows. So therefore the corn puns of course are our faves.  “I feel like I’m being STALKED.” “It’s like a MAIZE in here!”


Available on Netflix Instant? Yes

Purchased: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/hor-riff-ic-productions/hor-riff-ic-children-corn

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGoxspdts08

[SJP]

Personally, I'd like to hear a bit more chatter from the folks placing on the list. This must be pretty cool for you. Feel free to share your thoughts!

Oh, I definitely have comments to add  (I HAVE seen Red Riding Hood, and there are laughs I want to point out...it's just been a bit since I've seen it and I need to refresh my memory).  And I am stoked, don't get me wrong.  I just have something that needs to be taken care of before tomorrow, and I'm rushing like crazy to have it done before I pass out.  THEN will come the real accolades and commenting-type things.

[Darth Geek]

#33
Hor-Riff-ic Productions - Halloween III
(Total Points: 37    Number of Lists: 4  Highest Ranking: #3 Artie)


Don't you just love pranks? I do! And so do the Irish, apparently. Why, senile old Irish occultists are the best practical jokers around. Everything from TPing the Protestant Church, to throwing eggs at houses that don't hand out beer on Halloween, to an elaborate nationwide plot to kill hundrends of thousands of children watching a network distributed commercial while wearing mass produced masks with magic computer chips made from Stonehenge. Ha ha, the fun. Sure Tom Atkins tries to stop this, but he's only motivated because they paid him in booze.


This movie is most known for: For some reason being "that Halloween movie without Michael Myers", instead of "the only Halloween movie with Irish magic killer masks." I really think that might have spiced up the rest of the movies in the series.

Noted riffs:
"Eli Roth's Pinnochio."
"I'm gonna have to hit the old dusty trail."
"Why it's raining over here, too!
"He hasn't run this fast since a Heineken truck jackknifed on the highway.
"This bar is listed in his file as an emergency contact.
(But business was getting bad) --- "Maybe that giant Closed sign in the window might have something to do with it."
(Where would you like to sleep, doctor?) --- "In a bathtub filled with Schnapps."
I loved the Oompa Loompa lyrics.
"He's changed into Drunkman! Drunkman awrlrgh."
I laughed so hard at the idea of Satan having the Silver Shamrock tune as his ringtone.
"Wow. Never play horseshoes with THAT guy."


About the riff: I interrupted Gary again, I think he's getting kid of annoyed with me:
   This one might be my personal favorite of our tracks.  I take pride in every person that’s been exposed to this debacle of a film and left saying, “wtf was that?”  They’re still selling just this movie in the Walmart $5 bin, I’m taking credit for that too while I’m at it.

We’d always wanted to get into the Halloween franchise but the first 2 movies had already been done.  Solution?  Riff the 3rd movie that has nothing to do with ANYTHING in the first 2 movies and that no other group would probably like to touch.

Tom Atkins stole this track; his drunken performance outshone any weird face melting, Celtic robot, cult conspiracy.  We ripped him up so much in this one we even made a “Sorry Tom Atkins” t-shirt, even though we’re really not.  “Drunk man Awa..blalakjalsjlhaglasjinzpreh!”


Available on Netflix Instant? No.

Purchased: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/hor-riff-ic-productions/hor-riff-ic-halloween-iii

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ElBol2-i7Y

[Darth Geek]

#32
Riff Raff Theater - Die Hard
(Total Points: 38    Number of Lists: 4  Highest Ranking: #13 Compound)


The guy from Moonlighting finally gets fed up with arguing with that bitch, and takes his frustrations out on someone who deserves it: the Sheriff of Nottingham!

This movie is most known for: Starting the trend of movie executives pitching ideas like "It's Die Hard in a ______".
        Re-kindling the interest in Roy Rogers that lasts to this day. I kid, I kid. Nobody cares about Roy Rogers.

Noted riffs:
"Al-la-ka-grooch!"

Available on Netflix Instant? Yes

Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/riff-raff-theater/riff-raff-theater-die-hard

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ciR-u6d7cU

[Darth Geek]

#31a
One Man Band - Mortal Kombat
(Total Points: 39    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #3 Agent_Ispep)

In the immortal realm of Hollywood, the fate of Earth shall be decided. In the time honored tradition of video game adaptation: known as Mortal Kombat. One warrior must defeat the invading fighters of stupididty. Earth's champion is chosen: Paul W. S. Anderson.           We are SO boned!


This movie is most known for: Still being one of the best video game movies ever made. Let that sink in for a minute.
       Giving Christopher Lambert work in between Highlander sequels.
       Goro was BADASS!

Noted riffs:
I don't know any. Please post some and I will add them here.


About this riff: Here is SJP:
   Mortal Kombat is my second fastest turnaround, two weeks from initial writing session to finished product.  It's also apparently my most popular one, though I couldn't say exactly why it works.  Maybe it's just a movie a lot of people enjoy watching.  Maybe it's the price tag.  Maybe everything about it just clicked.  All I know is it was one of the top 5 of the top 50 iRiffs for some time (about a week or so), and I'm so very grateful that has done as well as it has.  I do think that the more fun I have with a movie leads to a better product, and this one was just bad enough for the jokes to come easily (at least, they seemed hard at the time; it's certainly easier than others I've done since) while being fun enough to watch over and over again for material.


Available on Netflix Instant? No.

Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/one-man-band/mortal-kombat-one-man-band-edition

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YReLSbKEcF4&list=UUvkKn4zMqUfw9iuaIlJvHDA&index=11&feature=plcp

[Darth Geek]

#31b
Quiptracks - The Forgotten
(Total Points: 39    Number of Lists: 3  Highest Ranking: #10 CJones)



A mother is trying to be convinced that her son isn't missing but in fact never existed, all in a conpiracy that is even more elaborate and stupid than Birthers. The movie presents us with the idea that this is aliens. This doesn't make sense for only one reason: this is an upper middle class family. Aliens only like to probe rednecks. Julianne Moore goes on the run and investigates things. Many hilarious whooshing away by aliens ensues.


This movie is most known for: Proposing that you can convince a mother who WENT THROUGH LABOR that she never had a child. And she buys it! I'm surprised they didn't try to get rid of her by telling her she doesn't know how to breath, and she forgets that too, asphyxiating to death.

Noted riffs:
"Hello, I'm still not swinging. They told me this park was full of pushers."
I forget all the time. "Except for that one thing.. no wait, that too."
I miss Lauren too. "Lauren three can go to hell."
While looking at the blank photo album: "All my pictures of an unlit coalmine gone... perhaps.", "Jim Gaffigan in a snow strorm!"
"I was dumb enough to try and hold up a library, and now I can't even find my gun."
"Being intoxicated, as I clearly am, this made me weary. Good 'morrow!"
"I'm terribley sorry about all this, I'm just so just so drunk is all, being a drunkard and what have you... yes quite."
"You're not drunk. You've never been drunk."

About this riff:
Release: March 2010
Riffers: Tristan, Tracy, Kevin
- Seen by Tracy and Cody in jr. high movie club
- A different kind of movie for QuipTracks... What was supposed to be a psychological thriller, and more emotional than most of the movies we do.
- Introduced the aliens Goatnozzle and Gazebobladder (names vary)


Available on Netflix Instant? No.

Purchase: http://quiptracks.com/zencart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=14

Sample: <a href="http://static.ak.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v1/y1/r/Qyh5ph9cQ_M.swf?v=401330313857&amp;ev=0" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://static.ak.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v1/y1/r/Qyh5ph9cQ_M.swf?v=401330313857&amp;ev=0</a>

[Darth Geek]

#30a
Ronin Fox Trax - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2
(Total Points: 40    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #2 @ScottOTD)



Get outta my dreams! And into my...uh...pool? What, he was in the car at the end of the last one. What the hell?
And 'Freddy's Revenge'? So...he's getting "revenge", from being ignored at the end of the last movie, on completely different kids. You know, I'm starting think this series is kinda silly.


This movie is most known for: In a movie series about a killer child molester, this is "the gay one".


Noted riffs:
I don't know any. Please post some and I will add them here.

About this riff: Here is Ronin to tell us all about it:
Release Date:  July 8, 2008 / Added to iRiffs on February 8, 2009
Riffers:  Ronin Fox and Nykk
Writers:  James Cruise and Nick Andrews

The first time I got to work with Nykk on a riff, which was great because he's not only my oldest friend and my first roommate away from home, he was also the guy I'd end up riffing on everything that happened to be on tv anyway.  He was the guy who'd drop everything to watch a new MST3K DVD when I got it when my other friends would shrug or walk away to do something else, and he's the guy who got it when I walked out of High School on the last day of class, turned around and said "You'll never defeat me, bye now!"

Riffing Nightmare 2 was therapeutic in a way.  I hate this movie.  Hate it with a passion.  The only fun I have is the few scenes of Freddy cutting loose at the party and so forth, but overall this move just got everything wrong in my opinion.  I've ended up in more than a few long conversations about it, and people tend to misunderstand my hatred of this movie.  This move gained the reputation of being "the gay horror flick".  I'm far from the first person to pick up on the vibe.  The director denied it at the time, but the screenwriter admitted it.  Yes, there is a heavy gay tone to the movie.  So when I say I hate it, people turn around and think I hate it for being gay.  No.  I hate it for being severely anti-gay to the point that it equates homosexuality with being possessed by the soul of a demonic serial killer.  Everything that you can point to as being a gay undertone is connected to the main character being controlled by Freddy, and the one thing that is shown as being able to save him is his girlfriend. 

This riff was one of the fastest recordings I'd ever made, as with most of the riffs with Nykk, one of us was on vacation (in this case I was visiting my old home state of Ohio) and we only had one day to work with.  This also led to the creation of the second sync-voice in RFT, the BS-1000.  Any excuse to work in a Randy Savage impression is a good one, and being out of state away from Shadow it was our best option on short notice.


Available on Netflix Instant? No.

Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/ronin-fox-trax/ronin-fox-trax-a-nightmare-elm-street-2

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG-KRYnSbBw