Mine was... a bit more eclectic. And lightsaber free. I nearly added a flashlight laser or variable sword from Known Space, but decided against it. And I had memory plastics on mine until I discovered that they actually do exist these days, albeit with a different trigger mechanism than Niven proposed. I basically put things on my list based on either a) how useful it was or b) how much it amused me to put on the list.
1 The Babel Fish (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)(Why? It translates any language instantly and it's better explained that a universal translator.)
2 Green Lantern Power Ring (DC Comics)(Why? It's the most versatile weapon in the universe, expecting the Lens. But that wouldn't have made the list. Plus these days it comes in a variety of colors.)
3 Samuel Colt's Revolver (Supernatural)(Why? It's a gun that can almost kill anything, plus it has an awesome backstory. The gun from Drive Angry actually can kill anything, but I'm fairly sure that I might be the only person who ever saw that film.)
4 Disembaudio (Rifftrax)(Why? Dude. It's Dis. I did mention his addiction to horse tranquilizers in my writeup though. )
5 Replicators (Star Trek)(Why? They instantly turn energy into almost any type of matter. They're incredibly useful.)
6 The SHAKK (Timeline Wars Series - John Barnes)(Wny? It's an extremely high tech gun from a sci-fi novel series that probably only I have read. It's basically full of nanitic self-propelled fire and forget exploding railgun speed BBs and it can be refilled by just filling it with random stuff. It's a pretty darn awesome gun.)
7 The La-Z-Boy Baseketball(Why? Well, it's undoubtedly the best Baseketball ever made.That counts for something.)
8 Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (aka The Portal Gun) (Portal)(Why? Just because it's very, very neat. Plus it is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here].)
9 MJOLNIR Powered Armor (HALO)(Why? It's about the only piece of powered armor that I could add in. Almost every other type I could think of was either bland (40k Space Marine armor doesn't really do much) or was bristling with weapons so that it didn't qualify. Plus it fit nicely with #10.)
10 Mjolnir (Marvel Comics)(Why? As far as melee weapons go, this one is the top of the line. Can a lightsaber control the weather? Nope. Can you throw a lightsaber and hold onto the handle propelling you through the air? Nope. Can you do fake Shakespearean dialog while holding a lightsaber? Sure, but it's cooler when a viking does it.)
Oh, and an image so awesome that it could not be contained by this mere list:
11 Bag of Holding (Dungeons & Dragons)(Why? It's just incredibly useful. Plus in some campaign worlds, some bags of holding are actually portals to an alternate dimension that you can then travel across and access other bags of holding, like a bunch of little stargates that people are dumping stuff into.)
12 Wonderbat (The Simpsons)(Why? It's baseball season and it has the coolest intro of practically anything on this list.)
It all started last year during a terrible thunderstorm when I locked myself out of the house. Sheltering myself with a large piece of sheet metal, I ran for cover under the tallest tree I could find.
Something told me this was a very special; very magical piece of wood. One that I could make a bat out of. I put my homemade football on hold and set to work making the world's greatest bat. And here it is. We play 30 games, I get 10 bats a game. I should hit 3000 homeruns.
13 SHeVA 9 a.k.a. Bun-Bun (Legacy of the Aldenata Series, John Ringo)(Why? It's a giant kludged together massive railgun that the Army bolted to a frame and then stuck a metal frame around and stuck treads on in an effort to shoot down invading aliens. It's pretty much an incredibly useful driving deathtrap that no one in their right mind would make or use if the situation wasn't completely desperate. And it's named after a psychotic knife wielding mini-lop. Bonus)
14 The Guide (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)(Why? It's got most of the total information in the universe on it, albeit in a rather sarcastic tone. this was the description I submitted:)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is an electronic guide book that serves as "the standard repository for all knowledge and wisdom" for many members of the series' galaxy-spanning civilization. A hugely useful, informative and entertaining book, it is the standard reference work for all those struggling to make it from one part of the universe to another part of the universe on as little as 30 Altairian dollars a day. It's published by Megadodo Publications (situated on the planet Ursae Minoris Beta) and is available through many reputable (and even more disreputable) booksellers throughout the galaxy.
The Guide resembles "a small, thin, flexible lap computer" encased in a "sturdy plastic cover" with the words "Don't Panic" inscribed on it "in large, friendly letters". It is presumably of robust construction, making it able to withstand falling through time/space wormholes and being thrown into swamps, being rescued, and still operating. Its entries are arranged alphabetically on the screen and accessed via typing entry codes on a keyboard; "Earth" is on the same page as "Eccentrica Gallumbits, the Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon 6."
The Guide contains a multitude of useful information on how to survive in Galactic society, how to mix a Pan-Galactic Garblebaster and the proper use of a towel. As of yet, it does not include a port of Angry Birds.
Why that one? Because that's the online guide's entry on the guide and that entry was written by Douglas Adams himself, who is still quite dead. I did dd the Angry Birds part though.
15 Frostmourne (World of Warcraft)(Why? I play a lot of Warcraft. It's an awesome looking sword, with a neat backstory and it's killed hundreds of thousands of people in game.)
16 Netrunning Deck (Various Sources)(Why? It's just one of those iconic sci-fi items to me- a mobile computer that allows you to insert your consciousness into the matrix/Web/Interthings and mentally hack. Various novels, movies, Shadowrun, Cyberpunk, Cthulhutech, comics, it's been in all of these. Kinda surprised that I seem to be the only one to mention them.)
17 Proton Pack (Ghostbusters)(Why? Dude. It's an unlicensed nuclear accelerator used to capture ghosts. How cool is that? But don't cross the streams. That would be bad.)
18 Mr. Fusion (Back to the Future)(Why? Once again, it's useful. Put in water, get out power. And it's small enough to be carried around in a car. If real, it would be mindboggingly valuable.)
19 Phoenix Down (Final Fantasy)(Why? It's an item that brings people back to life, except during cutscenes. Just a wee bit useful, I would say.)
20 Hearthstone (World of Warcraft)(Why? It's a small teleporter that will take you home once every 30 minutes. 15 if you've got a good guild. And unlike a Star Trek transporter, it never creates an evil twin or cause you to materialize inside out.)
21 The Hostess Fruit Pie (DC and Marvel Comics)(Why? It's the ultimate law enforcement device. You throw one at a criminal or monster or alien and they stop what they are doing. Every time. Look!
See? It succeeds even when an anti-mummy ray gun fails! It's awesome.
And yes a Twinkee isn't a fruit pie. But dude! Anti-mummy ray gun! How can you not use that one?
22 The Furstenburg Assault Rifle (Illegal Aliens, Nick Pollatta and Phil Folgio)(Why? It's a useful assault rifle that's a running gag in a book I enjoy.)
23 Unstable Molecules (Marvel Comics)(Why? They're used to make clothing that can turn invisible, become metal, shrink, grow, and be set on fire with no ill effects. they could probably even survive a Nude bomb explosion.)
24 Deck of Many Things (Dungeons and Dragons)(Why? They're an iconic magical item from AD&D- a magic deck of cards that when you pull a card from the deck, powerful good or bad stuff happens. They're an item that AD&D players both love and fear.)
25 The Original Talking Dog Collar (Up)(Why? It allows a dog to speak. In multiple languages, no less. Plus they have a GPS and two-way communicator too.)
Topic: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons (Read 48123 times)
