So what have we learned?

[Thrifty]

I learned that there are people out there who make me want to spend the day with Micah from Paranormal Activity.

I learned that werewolves are bad because they kill people, and vampires aren't, even though vampires lead whole tour groups to their grisly deaths.

I learned the names of the two blandest people in existence.

I learned that two people with absolutely no chemistry can cause people to fawn over how in love they are.

[JimJ]

I learned that the best way to protect my girlfriend from bloodthirsty vampires is to throw her into glass.

[Lovye]

I learned that Bill's dad didn't wear pants.  AND BILL DOESN'T WEAR A SHIRT!!!!    (At least not in the booth.)

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I learned that one can get a paper cut on anything....and that you'll bleed like a Spartan warrior when you do.

And that long term depression and night terrors to the point that it severely interferes with your child's life is no reason to try to get them any help.

[Darth Geek]

I learned that the best way to protect my girlfriend from bloodthirsty vampires is to throw her into glass.

"I must save you, Bella. Fuck out the way!"

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I learned that the best way to protect my girlfriend from bloodthirsty vampires is to throw her into glass.

"I must save you, Bella. Fuck out the way!"

And there didn't even have to be glass involved.  Just throw her sharply toward any wall....she might just break her neck.

[Darth Geek]

I learned that the best way to protect my girlfriend from bloodthirsty vampires is to throw her into glass.

"I must save you, Bella. Fuck out the way!"

And there didn't even have to be glass involved.  Just throw her sharply toward any wall....she might just break her neck.

Or shoulder check her into a marble column.

I do find it funny that a girl so frail and pale she looks like she's already a vampire would bleed so much. Where is that blood going? It sure as hell isn't going to her brain.

[ShadowDog]

I learned that there are people out there who make me want to spend the day with Micah from Paranormal Activity.

Wait a minute man!  Let one of us talk you off that ledge!

I learned that two people with absolutely no chemistry can cause people to fawn over how in love they are.

I think this is only because they were books first so people could pour themselves into these intentionally blank characters so when teenagers watch these movies they're really seeing themselves up on the screen.  And since there is no person in the entire fucking world more interesting to a teenager than themselves, it works for them.  Us?  No so much.

[Lovye]

I learned that Bill's dad didn't wear pants.  AND BILL DOESN'T WEAR A SHIRT!!!!    (At least not in the booth.)

DAMMIT!!!  It's Mike's dad....  Why do I want to keep attributing things to Bill this movie?  Ah well.

[Sharktopus]

I think this is only because they were books first so people could pour themselves into these intentionally blank characters so when teenagers watch these movies they're really seeing themselves up on the screen.  And since there is no person in the entire fucking world more interesting to a teenager than themselves, it works for them.  Us?  No so much.

Which is why they cast they most average looking girl in Hollywood. What's her name? Everygirl McSourpuss?

[JWhite]

I learned that all young male Quileute natives are insanely buff, can turn into gigantic fake CGI wolves and refuse to wear shirts at all times.

I learned that Bella's father is a text book example of how not to be a parent to your child.

I learned that today's teens music is absolutely horrible which is interesting because it was not that long ago that I graduated from High School.

And finally, I learned that it's unrealistic to meet a actual caring man that genuinely cares about you and doesn't play mind games and instead marry instantly when she gets out of high school an abusive man who has the personality, charm and complexion of a plank of wood.

[Russell]

I just want to know... is this a New Moon on Monday?

[Darth Geek]

And finally, I learned that it's unrealistic to meet a actual caring man that genuinely cares about you and doesn't play mind games and instead marry instantly when she gets out of high school an abusive man who has the personality, charm and complexion of a plank of wood.

Yeah, but it's a sparkly plank of wood.

[Lovye]

I learned that Bella has an innate clocktower locating sense.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I just want to know... is this a New Moon on Monday?

Nah....that's much more entertaining than this.