Author Topic: I just can't do it!  (Read 17282 times)

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Offline Pak-Man

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I just can't do it!
« on: August 31, 2006, 04:49:05 PM »
OK. We need a support group for this kinda thing. I was able to look the rental clerk right in the eye and say, "Do you have Roadhouse?" I was able to ask for Star Trek V (I'm not a trekkie but I look the part. :^)) So I waltzed in to my local video rental and started browsing for Cocktail. I checked Comedy and Drama. Even horror (Video rental stock-people can have a sense of humor too!). Couldn't find it. So I started for the counter. I looked the rental gal straight in the eye, and I froze. I made like I was looking at the snacks instead. I just couldn't bring myself to tell a fellow human being, "I'm looking for Cocktail." After a little more pointless wandering I left. On my way out they asked me, "Is there anything we can help you with?" "No. Not today." I sighed. "You sure?" They asked. "No, thanks." I said.

I want to see this Rifftrax. The Mrs. and I can't justify BUYING it to ourselves. We don't do the online rental or download services. The Video Rental store is our only hope. Maybe I'll have HER ask. Girls can ask for Tom Cruise movies without looking like freaks... Right? :^)


Offline MrTorso

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2006, 05:11:55 PM »
Just rent a big stack of porn with bizarre titles to mask the rental of Cocktail.  ;)
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Offline Pak-Man

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2006, 05:13:13 PM »
Strange but true: That would actually be easier, I think. :^)


Offline SmilinJackRoss

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2006, 06:08:54 PM »
It's not easy, but you must.  It is your duty.  Now you get out there, and you do your job, soldier.
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Offline gammer

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2006, 07:07:54 PM »
Yeah, for some reason, the fourth video store I went to had a copy of it, but it was in their "comdey" section. I guess they must think Tom Cruise is a big joke??


Offline LadyKenobi

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2006, 08:29:16 PM »
On Netflix, "Cocktail" is categorized as "Romance," if that helps any.

Sometimes I think Mike puts us through this as a test of our love and devotion.  It's like, "What's worse than making a guy buy tampons?  Ah, asking for 'Cocktail.'  Let's see if we can get them to rent 'The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood!'" 

That's probably why the forums are called "The Roundtable"-- like Arthur's knights of old, we must pass many tests of valor and strength. 
« Last Edit: August 31, 2006, 08:31:11 PM by LadyKenobi »


Offline PlayMSTie

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2006, 08:34:59 PM »
See, this is what's so great about Netflix. The people who work there may be giving me funny looks as I enter my choices, but I can't see 'em!  ;D

(Only problem is, some of the recommendations they're giving me based on my previous choices are starting to look pretty weird!)
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Offline Tarantulas

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2006, 10:25:13 PM »
"Yes, I need 2 disposable enemas.. that porn mag.. dress shields.. bottle of wild turkey.. some illegal fireworks.. a copy of Cocktail, and some of those trucker pep pills"


Offline MrTorso

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2006, 01:10:31 AM »
"Yes, I need 2 disposable enemas.. that porn mag.. dress shields.. bottle of wild turkey.. some illegal fireworks.. a copy of Cocktail, and some of those trucker pep pills"


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Offline Tarantulas

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #9 on: September 01, 2006, 06:32:11 AM »
ZING!


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #10 on: September 01, 2006, 08:57:45 AM »
Let's see if we can get them to rent 'The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood!'"  

Wasn't it Mike Nelson (I know it was ONE of the Brains) who once said, "Do not watch this movie unless you actually want to become a woman!"


Offline Tarantulas

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #11 on: September 01, 2006, 11:25:18 AM »
I think it was "Driving Fried Green Magnolias"


Offline MoralThreat

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2006, 01:12:20 PM »
On Netflix, "Cocktail" is categorized as "Romance," if that helps any.

Sometimes I think Mike puts us through this as a test of our love and devotion.

Don't give him any ideas.  I'm dreading the day when he riffs a Uwe Boll flick and I have to go buy or rent it.  I already bought xXx (for $0.91 which is overpriced in my opinion) and am ashamed of that.


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #13 on: September 01, 2006, 05:17:47 PM »
Well, NO LONGER! Tonight I waltz right in to the Blockbuster, look the clerk square in the eye, and say, "My wife has a question for you!"

I shall live in fear no more and the riffing will be enjoyed and it will be good! :^)


Offline mrbasehart

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Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2006, 11:24:10 AM »
You could just be completely brazen about it. 

"Hi, I'm looking for something with Cock in the title.  Starring Tom Cruise." 

Give the clerk a wink on the way out and he won't think your choice is embarassing.   ;D