Author Topic: List the top 10 films you'd want riffed  (Read 341357 times)

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Offline Compound

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Re: List the top 10 films you'd want riffed
« Reply #1920 on: May 01, 2020, 07:20:39 PM »
...wait. The Suburban Sasquatch people did Fungicide? Dear lord. I've seen that one. It was... certainly recorded on some sort of video tape

Offline athanatic

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Re: List the top 10 films you'd want riffed
« Reply #1921 on: September 13, 2020, 12:39:57 PM »
.. Airwolf...

They could do just the 2 episode "pilot" which is one story or the Movie which is after season 4, I think, but only if they are cheap or free rights since the video is not super simple to get.

I will bet he will do it, you could get Ernest Cline (Ready Player One) to guest. He is a big enough fan for do Slam Poetry in Texas (OK, Austin) about it, and it is hilarious!
« Last Edit: September 13, 2020, 01:04:41 PM by athanatic »

Offline Deep_Hurting

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Re: List the top 10 films you'd want riffed
« Reply #1922 on: December 19, 2020, 03:04:21 AM »
I've been working on this list for almost 20 years. Every single one of these films should have been on MST3K, and most of them are in the public domain.

#10 -  Phantom From Space (1953)  (Copyright Status: Public Domain)
While I'm linking to the version, Legend has released a very nice cleaned-up colorized print of this one, so there's absolutely no reason not to riff that version if they can get it. This movie is the work of W. Lee Wilder, who also brought us the Peter Graves classic Killers From Space and involves an "invisible" alien who crashes his spaceship on Earth and then spends most of the movie wandering around naked in Griffith Observatory floating items around on strings. The alien can't breath our atmosphere (I hear you, buddy) so even though he's invisible, he wheezes like Darth Vader when he's not wearing his space suit, which looks like someone put the Robot Monster costume on backwards. You'll thrill at the most nondescript and interchangeable cast since Radar Secret Service, and almost feel sorry for the poor asthmatic alien who mainly just wants to get the hell out of L.A.

Alternatively, I’d also be willing to accept any of W. Lee Wilder’s other sci-fi horror films, including The Man Without a Body, which I haven’t seen yet, but features a mad scientist who specializes in transplanting monkey heads via poorly done matte effects, who schemes to replace a dying businessman’s brain with that of the rotting cranium of Nostradamus, as one is wont to do in these situations.

#9 - Fiend Without a Face (1958) (Copyright Status: Public Domain)
Not actually that bad a movie, but it is the epitome of atom age goofiness. You can't go wrong with invisible monsters that want to take over an army base to steal our nuclear weapons that look like stop-motion brains that crawl around on a spinal column that they also use to strangle people and take over their bodies. I'd say this one ranks up there with This Island Earth in terms of being a classic.... that is also incredibly riff-worthy based on the goofiness factor alone.

#8 - War of the Robots (1978) (Copyright Status: Public Domain)
A cheap Italian Star Wars knockoff starring Toblerone! This movie should have been called War of the Gold Lamé Jumpsuits and Blonde Wigs because that's as close to robots as you're going to get. The space suits and wigs in this one give Moon Zero Two a run for it's money, despite being filmed almost a decade later. This is actually one of three movies in a "series" that all look like they were filmed on the same afternoon.

#7 - The Gypsy Moon (1954) (Copyright Status: Public Domain)
BOOPIE! The entire collection of Rocky Jones "movies" are in the public domain, and there are about 8 of them that never got riffed on MST3K, as well as a couple of stand-alone episodes that would make great shorts. I'm not necessarily suggesting they do all of them, but a few wouldn't hurt. I wouldn't even mind if Bridget at Mary Jo wanted to take a stab at these, since they seem to really enjoy doing the 1950's stuff.
At any rate, this is the second "movie" that introduces John Banner's boisterous Bovaro character from Crash of the Moons. It's also full of all sorts of goofiness including space music that can drive people insane, hypno-rays, and putting out a fire on the outside of the spaceship (with a hose.)  :o Don't worry, Winky and Bobby are just as punchable as you remember.
Also creepy fun fact... the guy who played Winky was only in the first half of the series. They replaced him for the second season with a different sidekick after he got arrested for going on a drug-fueled bender and holding up a prominent Hollywood hotel at gunpoint before jumping bail and fleeing to Mexico, where he ended up writing a bunch of bad checks and getting in a gun battle with local police.  :scared:

#6 - Puss in Boots (1961) (Copyright Status: Public Domain.... I think?)
Perhaps you've heard of a fellow by the name of K. Gordon Murray who brought you a little cinematic gem called Santa Claus (and also Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy and the three shorts that make up Santa's Village of Madness)? Well, Puss in Boots is another batshit insane childrens' movie imported from Mexico, recut and redubbed by Murray (with random musical numbers added). This is easily the most insane movie he imported next to Santa Claus vs. The Devil.
The main problem with this movie is that while you can find original cuts of most of the movies Murray imported from Mexico and Germany, the Murray dubbed versions are hard to find because the IRS seized all his pictures due to tax evasion and he died of a heart attack before he and his family could get them back. The original prints are gone, and the company that held the 16mm versions that were used to release a few of his pictures on VHS during the 90's (round about the time MST3K picked up Santa Claus) went bankrupt in the early 2000's and liquidated their entire inventory to the public.
I don't actually know how that works in terms of copyright, but I believe since Santa Claus is public domain, his other films are too. The main difficulty is finding copies. I actually happen to have copies of two of them. The Golden Goose (1969) and Puss In Boots. The Golden Goose has already been posted to, but my copy of Puss In Boots has some extremely bizarre audio issues that I want to attempt to clean up prior to posting.

#5 - The Devil's Eight (1969) (Copyright Status: Unknown. Could be Public Domain or really cheap since it's free on Amazon Prime?)
This is the movie Ross Hagan made back to back with Sidehackers (aka. Five The Hard Way). It's a shameless rip-off of The Dirty Dozen, where a federal agent tasked with taking down a moonshiner (who is apparently the head of a criminal empire and can whack any damn federal agent he pleases without fear of repercussion) so he gets the brilliant idea of enlisting the help of a local chain gang to stop him because... uhh... reasons. This movie contains almost as much stupid as Sidehackers and The Hellcats, but is thankfully less rapey.

#4 - Ator: The Iron Warrior (1987) (Copyright Status: Unknown.)
Yes, there was another Ator movie, and it makes even less sense than Cave Dwellers and The Fighting Eagle put together. As you can see from the trailer, for this movie, Ator has ditched Dong (Thong?) as his personal trainer and fully embraced the power of the wet look. It's also got whatshername from Devil Fish in it, if that's a selling point.

#3 - Terror Beneath the Sea (1966) (Copyright Status: Public Domain.)
How the hell did this one never make it onto MST3K? It's one of the most riffable movies of all time, and public domain to boot. Terror Beneath the Sea is basically what would happen if Japan remade Creature from the Black Lagoon into Mighty Jack by way of The Green Slime. Though to be fair, you can't really blame just one nation for this masterpiece; it's one of those Japanese/Italian/American co-productions with a huge multinational cast where everybody speaks their own language then gets redubbed later (even the people who are obviously speaking English.)
You've got plenty of goofy underwater model shots (still making lots of bank turns), remote-controlled cyborg fish people that look like cross-eyed Sleestaks that have been spray painted silver, a dollar store Blofeld knock-off in wrap-around Italian sunglasses who can control his cyborg army via a sophisticated machine with three whole dials, and it stars Sonny Chiba about a decade before he became a martial arts legend. (Though he obviously wasn't paid enough to kick any fish person ass.) The print is also surprisingly gorgeous for being public domain.

#2 - Dimension 5 (1966) (Copyright Status: Unknown.)
I love it when Rifftrax does a goofy 60's spy flick, and the only thing better than a goofy 60’s spy flick, is a goofy 60’s spy flick that’s also a time travel espionage thriller starring a ton of guest actors from Star Trek and Odd Job the "hat killer" from Goldfinger. This movie has just the right amount of cheese, as it tries desperately to pass itself off as a sci-fi James Bond on the same budget as an episode of Time Tunnel.

Comparatively, it’s not even that terrible a movie. It actually reminds me a bit of the Gary Seven episode of Star Trek, and is definitely a cut above The Human Duplicators and Women of the Prehistoric Planet, which were also written by the same guy. I’d say it falls nicely into that category of films that would be just barely watchable on it's own, but infinitely better when enjoyed in the company of some professional riffers.

#1 - Golden Needles (1974) (Copyright Status: Unknown.)
I saved the best for last. Because how can you possibly top a confusing Hong Kong martial arts remake of The Maltese Falcon starring Joe Don Baker?
It's right at the top my "must be riffed" list, since it's such a perfect storm of conflicting movie tropes, bad acting, crazy plot holes and continuity errors, and Joe Don responding to every situation with his trademark mix of hunger/confusion.
Surprisingly, it had a decent budget, and a comparatively big-name cast...even including Joe Don, who was at the height of his career after just having made Walking Tall. Golden Needles was a commercial flop, however. Joe Don plays your usual Mitchell-y non-action action hero, who's supposed to be some sort of soldier of fortune who gets hired to track down a stolen statue containing magical acupuncture needles that can grant everlasting life if used correctly. Burgess Meridith plays the bad guy, and at one point they got Jim Kelly to wander onto set and perform a fight scene and then wander off again. Literally nobody in this movie seems to have the slightest clue what the hell is going on (reportedly, the English and Hong Kong directors couldn't understand each other, and nobody understood the script.) It's just one big confusing mess with the occasional fight scene tossed in to liven things up. 
« Last Edit: December 19, 2020, 03:06:03 AM by Deep_Hurting »