Author Topic: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)  (Read 2167 times)

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Offline LucasM

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Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« on: February 01, 2009, 08:45:51 PM »
Well, we all love those pithy, one-or-two-line statements that sum up SO much...

So let's share some of our faves.

They don't HAVE to be funny, but clearly, they can be.


Here's a few I really like:

Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
         - Unknown

A mind is like a parachute - it only functions properly when its open.
                     - Don & or Maggie Thompson, CBG 6-27-86

New Twist on a Cliche':
All the cats were now out of the bag, the worms at last freed from their tin.  I knew in all the world that there existed no can large enough for us to ever cram them all back in.
                     - Alan Moore (Miracleman # 15, pp.19-20)

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
                     - Crow T. Robot (MST3K)
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Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2009, 09:19:41 PM »
The search for Truth is like searching for a needle in a haystack. The best way is to roll around in it naked.



Offline AmazingThor

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Re: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2009, 12:43:08 PM »
Love is like draino. Sure it will clean you out, but it will leave you feeling empty inside.

I think that comes from the first Naked Gun. More Frank Drebbin goodness:
Like a midget at a peep show, I'd have to stay on my toes...
Like a blind man at an orgy, I'd have to feel my way through...


Offline Action Batch

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Re: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2009, 01:00:42 PM »
Timing is everything, except with Netflix.

Unknown
« Last Edit: February 05, 2009, 01:02:35 PM by Ebichu »


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2009, 05:22:03 PM »
Cheating is bad. Richard Basehart is good.



Offline RoninFox

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Re: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2009, 05:30:04 PM »
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." - Anonymous
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Offline daltysmilth

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Re: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2009, 06:40:09 PM »
Let us not forget the wisdom of bumper stickers:

"Jeez if you believe in Honkus"
"If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk"


And a real truism from the demo of the game Full Throttle, that I guess was too profound to be left in the actual game:

"But sometimes fighting isn't enough.  Sometimes you've gotta steal.  Sometimes you've got to steal a ramp from a race of half-blind cold-blooded killers who live in a secret cave."

I think we can all see how that applies to our daily lives.
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"Jason, Chess is a game of chance."
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Offline Dankbuds

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Re: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2009, 07:13:48 PM »
Computers are like Air-conditioners... they both stop working as soon as you open windows
-unknown

A man is a man for life... A woman is only sexy until she's your wife.
-Al Bundy

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
-John Lennon
« Last Edit: February 06, 2009, 07:39:47 PM by Dankbuds »


Offline AmazingThor

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Re: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2009, 02:16:52 PM »
Some good ol' George Burns (well into his 80s):
People always ask me when I'm going to retire. Retire? Who'd take care of my parents?

The first thing I do every morning is check the obituary. If my names not listed I have breakfast. The day I see my name, I'm still gonna have breakfast. I'm not going on an empty stomach.



Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2009, 05:57:33 PM »
Thanks AmazingThor, that reminds me of my favorite George Burns quote: SOmeone in an interview before his hundredth birthday asked him "Do you think you will ever die?" He said "No. It's been done."



Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: Aphorisms And The Like (preferably good ones)
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2018, 08:45:02 AM »
"Wise men don't need advice.  Fools don't take it." - Ben Franklin
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."