Notes to Hollywood

[Johnny Unusual]

Basically, the premise is to imagine things being made (or remade) into a movie and suggest casting, directors, writers, composers and any other thing you could think of for the movie:

Here are some examples:

Who should play John Constantine (Hellblazer) in a movie?

Maybe Guy Pierce.  I say that because I can imagine him playing a former punk with a troubled past and can probably deliver a really killer smile that John needs from time to time.

Who should direct a remake of Mad Max?

I say Robert Rodriguez, who's really good at really intense action and isn't afraid of intense violence, though doesn't go overboard unless the story demands it.

Who should do the music for a Castlevania movie?

Goblin.  I mean, it action and horror, so why not a badass prog rock band best known for Dario Argento soundtracks?

Also, for fun, we can keep track of certain progress of certain "projects" (IE, if we also talk about casting and directing for a Castlevania movie, we can bring it up again)

OK, I'll start:

Say they make a biopic of George Carlin.  Who should play George?

[Action Batch]

I think that Viggo Mortensen could play a good Carlin. He looks enough like him, and it would be a good test of his range.

Directed by Milos Forman

Produced by Ron Howard


What if they remade Manos: The Hands of Fate? Give me three cast members, any three, Master, Torgo, Michael, Margret, Debbie, the kissing teenagers, satans brides...

[BBQ Platypus]

Damn.  This is actually a pretty hard question...

I'm gonna go with Tim Curry as the Master, Paul Rudd as Torgo, and Nicholas Cage as Michael.

In a similar vein, if they were to do a remake of The Running Man that was actually based on the source material (and, y'know, actually good), who would you have direct, and who would play the lead?

[Johnny Unusual]

Well, I haven't read it, but I assume that protagonist is leaner than Arnold.  Actually, I just read the premise on wikipedia, so I think the actor should be someone who could look both out of shape and could beef up in the movie in  a Steve Rogers/Bruce Wayne sort of way.   I say lets try... Jason Bateman.  He's an underdog you want to root for.  As for director... maybe Luc Besson, as long as he tones his style down a bit.

If they were ever to make a film of "The Andy Griffith Show", who should write it and who should direct it?

[BBQ Platypus]

Well, I haven't read it, but I assume that protagonist is leaner than Arnold.  Actually, I just read the premise on wikipedia, so I think the actor should be someone who could look both out of shape and could beef up in the movie in  a Steve Rogers/Bruce Wayne sort of way.   I say lets try... Jason Bateman.  He's an underdog you want to root for.  As for director... maybe Luc Besson, as long as he tones his style down a bit.

Getting back on the topic, I can't even begin to fathom why the idea of remaking this movie hasn't crossed the minds of any Hollywood executives yet.  I mean, think about it - it has the whole reality TV angle going for it, plus gritty and more intelligent blockbusters are en vogue right now.  It couldn't BE any more timely or topical.  I mean, they're planning on remaking BILL AND FREAKING TED but they aren't even considering making a proper movie out of a book by one of the most famous writers on the planet?  Holy shit, Hollywood is dumb.

[Johnny Unusual]

Just calm down.  Relax.  Cool it.  Etc.

If they were ever to make a film of "The Andy Griffith Show", who should write it and who should direct it?

[Johnny Unusual]

I promised myself I wouldn't answer my own question, but I wanted to give this game one more chance:

I think it would make a lot of sense for Ron Howard to direct it and for it to be written by Gary Ross, the heartwarming writer of Big, Pleasantville and Dave.

If there was to be a movie based on the board game Risk, would it be a comedy or something more serious and who should be involved?

[Tripe]

Oh I definitely see a comedy here, unless it was made in the Czech Republic then it would be a dour political commentary.

But we're talking Hollywood here so it's going to be a comedy, and a CGI one at that.

Basically a number of different alien races have selected Earth as their new playing board for the ancient galactic game of Risk. It's winner takes all and so they begin to play. Realising what's going on some plucky Earthlings get in the game (dressing up in poorly constructed Alien Suits to be accepted as players).

I see Partick Warburton and Wayne Knight in this, but beyond that I'll need some time in the Hamptons to think about it.

So I'm thinking of remaking 12 Angry Men, who should be those 12?

[mrbasehart]

You'd want great character actors, rather than stars. 

Tony Shaloub
David Paymer
Gabriel Byrne (perhaps he can be the main guy)
Paul Giamatti (he can be the racist one)
Mike McShane
Gary Cole (he can be the gambling addict)
Alan Rickman
Ben Kingsley (the old guy who first listens to reason)
David Hyde Pierce
Timothy Spall (providing he can do an American accent)
Alan Alda
Stanley Tucci

There.  If you wanted a star in the main role, I'd go for Kevin Costner. 

If you had to cast a new Indiana Jones, who would play him?

[anais.jude]

Christian Bale. HE can do anything!
If the bale is unavailable, then I would say Robert Sean Leonard. I have no idea why (was he the young indiana jones?)


OK. Paradise Lost. The Bale is Satan. Julie Taymor directs. Jason Behr is Adam.....who is my Eve?

[a pretty girl is like]

Kelly Macdonald http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0531808/

or

Naomie Harris http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0365140/

A much needed Marvin Gaye biopic:  Who plays Marvin?  Who plays Marvin's dad?

[Johnny Unusual]

This was a tough one.  I started looking at older actor (like Ving Rhames) and then saw pictures of Young Marvin Gaye and decided to go in that direction.  I think maybe Chris Thomas King who playd Tommy Johnson in O Brother Where Art Thou as Marvin (he's actually not young, but I think he could pull it off and he's sort of fresh faced for a man in his mid-forties).  As for Marvin Gaye Sr. I had a much harder time to find someone with a similar build, so instead, I just went with Clarke Peters from the Wire (which I started watching recently).  That's sort of funny, because the first person I went to after seeing his picture was an even-more-disheveled-than-usual Bubbles.

If they do a movie about Strom Thurmond (and I can't imagine it would be pro-Thurmond) who should direct it?

[a pretty girl is like]

Tim Robbins.  The vehemence would be palpable.

How about a remake of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance?  Who are your three leads?

[Johnny Unusual]

Robert DeNiro as Tom Doniphon (Because he's never been in a western and I can see him doing a John Wayne role)
Aaron Eckhart as Ransom because I can see him doing the kind of character the Jimmy Stewart plays in every movie... Just and non-violent.
And I'm trying to decide between utlimate tough guy actor Michael Madsen or Tim Roth for Liberty Valance.  I suppose it depends if he should be a tough brutal villain or a sly psycho villain.

OK, so they make a movie based on the Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett book Good Omens...  who should direct it?

[Tripe]

Tony Robinson, he's a clever fella (quite at odds to his most famous role as Baldrick) and I think he'd bring an interesting touch to the material. Plus he's been in at least one adaptation of Pratchett and read many audio books of his work so it think he'd get the source text very well.

So they've green lit a remake of Beyond the Rocks but how do we make it speak to the modern era?