I saw long still shots of statuary... the hallmark of any great suspense movie.
I learned Kevin and Bill need to hide their snacks better from Disembaudio.
Seriously! What happened to the Kevin Murphy who smuggled an entire Thanksgiving dinner into a showing of Monsters, Inc.? Kevin, you're slipping!
I learned that creepy children can see dead people, but aren't smart enough to convince them to become an unseen, dead army of the night.
I learned the following:
- The fastest way to close a really difficult sale is to convince your customer that the item you are selling is probably imprinted (in some mystical way) with the dead person who previously owned it (this is especially true if you are selling bed sheets)
- Seeing dead people will give you a stray, random patch of gray hair
- Soccer Moms like to play death-metal at their childrens' birthday parties
- If you think you can escape being haunted by the Walking Dead by seeking refuge in a church, think again - Ghosts love religion
- It's possible to accidentally blow the back of your head open with your dad's gun, while leaving no trace of an entrance wound
- Ghost's voices can be picked up on cassette tape. I was sketchy about this at first, but Michael Keaton eventually confirmed it for me.
tell your sons to be kind to the weird, vomiting little girls.
they can sometimes grow up to be hot kind of weird, vomiting women.
That you shouldn't wear red to your daughter's funeral, especially if you're the one that offed her?
That if you decide to mix some poisoned bisque or whatever it was the woman fed to the kid, that you should reconsider doing so in front of a video camera while displaying all the blatantness of Rachael Ray showing us how to whip up a soufflé.
That when confronted by a ghost in your bedroom, draping a sheet over top them apparently paralyzes them. (Which is kind of ironic, when you think about it.)
That ghosts only see what they want to see -- kind of like partisans at either extreme of the political spectrum.
That no matter how many times Kevin blurts "SLEEEEP!" -- and he's done it in each of the last two Rifftrax -- it still manages to bring a smile to old MST3K fans' faces.
Gadfly
QuoteThat when confronted by a ghost in your bedroom, draping a sheet over top them apparently paralyzes them. (Which is kind of ironic, when you think about it.)
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
I learned that it is ok to take statues from churches.
I learned that the colour red is symbolic of --- uhmm... Like, death? Or that everyone's Jesus in purgatory, or --- I've got it: there's a secret Soviet plot to overthrow the US using ghosts! Yeah, that's it.
Learned that have some-sort-of emotional fit/episode and having your teacher display anger towards you and call you a name gets YOU sent to principal's office.
I learned that in Pensylvania church starts at 5:45 in the morning where it's surprisingly very daylight out in the fall.
I learned that the oldest-working lightbulb isn't in a California fire station but in Bruce Willis' basement.
I learned that, according to Kevin, Bruce Willis looks pretty darn good in drag.
I learned that being a single working mother with multiple jobs still allows you to afford to send her child to a private school.
I learned that said private school as part of their uniform offers a multiple clip-on ties.
I learned when you finish peeing and you think a ghost walks past you, you can not wash your hands.
I don't care, kid, wash your frigging hands!
I learned that pocketed statues of Jesus stolen from the church will not save you from dead people.
I learned that some people will give lavish first edition books...just for a hug.
I learned that you can turn a normal speaking man into a stuttering flashback just by calling him names from his childhood.