I learned that the Silver Surfer is as annoyed at the Fantastic Four as I am.
That some people Can't just sit back and enjoy a good silly,fun adventure movie.
I enjoyed this movie from start to finish.
It was a lot of fun.
I do look forward to listening to the Rifftrax.
I learned that Jessica Alba does NOT look good in blue contacts.
I just wanna say that again:
DOES NOT LOOK GOOD in blue contacts.
I learned that Jessica Alba is on fire!!!!!! ;D
Quote from: kodiakthejuggler on December 18, 2007, 02:30:17 PM
I learned that Jessica Alba does NOT look good in blue contacts.
I just wanna say that again:
DOES NOT LOOK GOOD in blue contacts.
Seconded. See nerdy, nit-picking comic book fans, this is what happens when you pitch your little temper tantrum about every minutae about the movie not being like the comic
(https://forum.rifftrax.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi133.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq80%2Fparanoia2K%2Fvlcsnap-00009-1.jpg&hash=bde51e8441f2e5d91ba1075fbf100b2211219e56)
Congratulations, Comic-book nerds, you just made Jessica Alba not hot.....you bastards!
P.S. I think Ms. Alba might have the spice addiction.....maybe.....
I learned that it is possible to polish a turd. You just have to chrome plate it first.
I learned that being rock hard all the time isn't the best thing.
I learned that Silver Surfers can maintain healthy relationships with females despite their smoothness... down there.
I learned that the Silver Surfer was pretty much a puss before this plot took place. So all this time he could have flown into Galactus and took him out, sparing numerous worlds...but he didn't. He even could have done this without really sacrificing himself, as he survived at the end, but even not knowing that which would you pick. Dying heroically taking out a great evil or being that great evil's bitch forever. But hey, didn't occur to 'ol Radd until he looked into the disturbingly blue eyes of Alba.
Puss!
Quote from: kodiakthejuggler on December 18, 2007, 02:30:17 PM
I learned that Jessica Alba does NOT look good in blue contacts.
I just wanna say that again:
DOES NOT LOOK GOOD in blue contacts.
Thirded. She looks like a Hostess from like Perkins, whose all nice and smiles but you can just tell she's a total bitch.
Quote from: killeroo on December 18, 2007, 04:21:28 PM
Eyes...what the... Jessica Alba is wearing a skin tight jumpsuit throughout the entire film and you're looking at her eyes!? What's the matter with you? Sheesh.
Sure, Jessica Alba in a skin-tight jumpsuit is mucho fun to look at, but I'm a complete sucker for brown eyes, and Jessica's are gorgeous, and to cover them with those horrid blue ones that make her look like an alien is just plain wrong. WRONG, I SAY!!!
(https://forum.rifftrax.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.movieweb.com%2Fgalleries%2F3596%2F2620%2Flo%2Fcof.jpg&hash=c26caeab5e4a47c5dd61d3b4f9e630cf673610d5)
ICK!
I learned that the Chinese are very easygoing about people who barge into their country and destroy their national monuments.
Quote from: Ortega on December 18, 2007, 03:26:52 PM
Seconded. See nerdy, nit-picking comic book fans, this is what happens when you pitch your little temper tantrum about every minutae about the movie not being like the comic
Ugh... I can't stand comic book nerds who think that the height of casting for a comic book movie is to find someone who kind of looks like a drawing of the character. As a counter point Michael Duncan Clark was the only good thing in Daredevil and he did a fine job as the Kingpin.
I learned that the Fantastic Four movies were designed by committee for merchandising and to be as lowest common denominator on all aspects of the film as possible. Okay, I had guessed that before but last night I had nothing to do at work (Christmas is dead for people who babysit networks) so I listened to the commentary track. Obviously none of the people involved came out and said that but it was easy to read between the lines which made it interesting. There were a lot of last minute changes to rework the film after it had been shot, meetings with licensors which changed major parts of the film, appeasing actors to keep them on the set, and other general crack ups. If you know a bit about how modern Hollywood productions work I'd recommend listening to the group track (the director leaves a lot of empty air) and you can piece together a picture of a pretty unhealthy film.
I also learned that the US military maintains gulags in Siberia. Who would have guessed?
I learned that sweater vests will get you lots of sexy women. Land's End here I come.
I learned that I was wrong about the first Fantastic Four movie, in that it IS possible for The Thing to look more like a giant turd.
That the guys that riffed this movie are all married men. Hahaha haaha. ;D
I learned that Stan Lee is Naomi Watts without makeup. I knew there was a reason I've never seen the two of them in the same place at the same time.
I learned that Jessica Alba has the line delivery of a porn star. I still can't believe James Cameron made her a star!
I learned that wispy fabric can keep out hair goats.
Hair goats! What were they smoking to come up with that one? That's what I'd like to learn...
Quote from: warwilf on December 19, 2007, 06:22:42 AM
I learned that Silver Surfers can maintain healthy relationships with females despite their smoothness... down there.
It's probably retractable, or some other weird alien anatomy thing.
Quote from: Fuzzy Necromancer on December 22, 2007, 10:50:13 PM
Quote from: warwilf on December 19, 2007, 06:22:42 AM
I learned that Silver Surfers can maintain healthy relationships with females despite their smoothness... down there.
It's probably retractable, or some other weird alien anatomy thing.
Bet you thought that big thing was some kind of surfboard, foolish people.
Quote from: kodiakthejuggler on December 19, 2007, 08:10:00 AM
Quote from: killeroo on December 18, 2007, 04:21:28 PM
Eyes...what the... Jessica Alba is wearing a skin tight jumpsuit throughout the entire film and you're looking at her eyes!? What's the matter with you? Sheesh.
Sure, Jessica Alba in a skin-tight jumpsuit is mucho fun to look at, but I'm a complete sucker for brown eyes, and Jessica's are gorgeous, and to cover them with those horrid blue ones that make her look like an alien is just plain wrong. WRONG, I SAY!!!
(https://forum.rifftrax.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.movieweb.com%2Fgalleries%2F3596%2F2620%2Flo%2Fcof.jpg&hash=c26caeab5e4a47c5dd61d3b4f9e630cf673610d5)
ICK!
All the blue-eyed women in Hollywood who
can act....and would let them dye their hair blond for a part if need be....and they had to cast
her?
Hell, just off the top of my head Anna Farris would have done a better job.
(https://forum.rifftrax.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg443.imageshack.us%2Fimg443%2F2130%2Fannahousebunny4ge9.jpg&hash=009cb6259a86eb03a1f69187b0bc1fa67263fcd6)
Quote from: RoninFox on December 23, 2007, 04:24:05 AM
Quote from: Fuzzy Necromancer on December 22, 2007, 10:50:13 PM
Quote from: warwilf on December 19, 2007, 06:22:42 AM
I learned that Silver Surfers can maintain healthy relationships with females despite their smoothness... down there.
It's probably retractable, or some other weird alien anatomy thing.
Bet you thought that big thing was some kind of surfboard, foolish people.
I learned that I am worried that these two gentlemen lay awake thinking about the Silver Surfer's package. :P
Come on, when that shiny liquid metal body appeared on screen, can you honestly say your first thought wasn't "I'd hit it"?
With all this discussion about Jessica Alba's eyes, I can hosestly say I didn't notice. Not because I was distracted by her body, because I couldn't possibly notice it with all the damn product placement that was all over the place. I didn't see a big-screen adaption of one of my favorite comics from when I was a kid, I saw a commercial. I drove to a theater and shelled out good money to watch a commercial.
and remember to drink your ovaltine
After that scene outside of the motorcycle exibition in the first movie...with all of the company banners....you were surprised about product placement?
One thing I liked about fantastic four was the nice little tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment of their own unsubtle product placement with Jonny's "new suit" idea.
Quote from: OTC316 on December 23, 2007, 05:45:54 PM
With all this discussion about Jessica Alba's eyes, I can hosestly say I didn't notice.
I didn't notice it because of her ear splitting screeching.
I learned that even after a sequel was created, Johnny is still a dickweed.
I know I'm a bit late here but......the Silver Surfer is cooler than all 4 Fantastic 4 people combined.
Quote from: Oceanborn Angel on February 01, 2008, 09:06:05 AM
I know I'm a bit late here but......the Silver Surfer is cooler than all 4 Fantastic 4 people combined.
Huh. That's literally true, because Johnny actually was all 4 combined. Weird.
I'm pretty sure that in five years, Mike will NOT owe Kevin a beer.
Quote from: Jackster on January 08, 2008, 10:35:59 PM
I learned that even after a sequel was created, Johnny is still a dickweed.
I think that Hollywood has become convinced that total douchebags bring in audiences and make appealing, sympathetic protagonists.
I think the sad part is that the popularity of Ferris Beuler's Day Off, Road Trip, The Entire Road Trip/Teen Comic Duo with Infidel Backstabbing Charismatic Guy and Geeky Insecure Non-Risk-Taking Introverted Doormat Sidekick Subgenre, and Iron Man, all confirm that total douchebags actually do bring in the audiences and make crowds cheer.
I learned that Silver Surfer is now and forever going to look like a rusty fender because he brought a nerd's trophy wife back from the dead.
I learned that CGI becomes silicon rubber when you stop surfing.
I learned that getting on a magic board lets you make up your own powers, like the ability to produce spears out of thin air.
I learned that you even if you customize the roof of a building, you still can't change its name.
I learned that the third time you try to get married is the "wedding of the century."