Here are some of the changes I would have made to Star Trek Generations if I wrote it:
Kirk would have been bored because he knows his glory days are long over... so he hits Scotty over the back of the head with a Klingon Dak'tahg and steals the klingon ship and goes forward in time to find the owner of the enterprise D and blow the ship away. He encounters klingon women on the bird of prey. He of course has sex with them and thus gains their loyalty and leads the klingon empire in a viscious war against the federation. Picard of course is appalled that Kirk, savior of the federation would ever do such a thing. Picard is so appalled he beams over to the ship but is beamed into the tank for george and gracey and drowns. Riker wets himself, Kirk laughs, says "Fire at Will... WILL RIKER!" and the klingons blow up the Enterprise and Troi and everyone dies. Kirk laughs and flies at warp speed to the federation to destroy planet earth. The happy Star Trek theme plays. the end.
That is the most ridiculous, overblown, fanbase-alienating piece of tripe I have ever seen even remotely connected to the "Star Trek" name.
So, when did Paramount hire you to write "Star Trek XI"? ;D
Quote from: Principal_Skin-trade on July 11, 2007, 01:05:49 AM
Here are some of the changes I would have made to Star Trek Generations if I wrote it:
Kirk would have been bored because he knows his glory days are long over... so he hits Scotty over the back of the head with a Klingon Dak'tahg and steals the klingon ship and goes forward in time to find the owner of the enterprise D and blow the ship away. He encounters klingon women on the bird of prey. He of course has sex with them and thus gains their loyalty and leads the klingon empire in a viscious war against the federation. Picard of course is appalled that Kirk, savior of the federation would ever do such a thing. Picard is so appalled he beams over to the ship but is beamed into the tank for george and gracey and drowns. Riker wets himself, Kirk laughs, says "Fire at Will... WILL RIKER!" and the klingons blow up the Enterprise and Troi and everyone dies. Kirk laughs and flies at warp speed to the federation to destroy planet earth. The happy Star Trek theme plays. the end.
I think adding The Borg would have elevated the action scenes that much more, along with seeing the Romulan attack of the station.
That was one of the worst peices of words strung together in an attempt to call itself a post that I have read. No where in your inane rambling did you attemp to create a logical thought. I think we are all dumber after having read that.
And just out of curiosity, why does Kirk want to wipe out the Federation and destroy Earth?
Quote from: Sideswipe on July 11, 2007, 04:47:36 PM
That was one of the worst peices of words strung together in an attempt to call itself a post that I have read. No where in your inane rambling did you attemp to create a logical thought. I think we are all dumber after having read that.
And just out of curiosity, why does Kirk want to wipe out the Federation and destroy Earth?
I know... but you got to admit, it's still a LOT better than Generations! ;D To answer your question about why Kirk wants to wipe out the Federation and destroy earth... well, all the other plots have already been covered in star trek except THAT one. I love to take a normally happy-go-lucky universe and just turn it all bleak where all the characters are like "No! You can't! You just can't do that! Tha-- That isn't fair!!". They think they are in complete control of everything, and let's face it, that is so boring. The federation has always been portrayed as something almighty and all powerful and I think it's time for a change.
Okay... here's my THIRD draft revised version, i'm sure you guys will be much happier with this idea:
Picard and Kirk are riding horses.
Kirk: umm... so how do we get back?
PIcard: I guess i could put on some sparkley red high heels and click them three times
Kirk: I don't swing that way you french pig.
Picard: Nexus! We want to leave!
Voice: It's not THAT easy Picard! I told you i'd see you out there.
Picard: I know that voice..
(Q appears in a flash of white light, Picard and Kirk dismount their horses)
Q: Ah, Kirk.
Kirk: Do I know you?
Q: You knew my son... sorry again about him.
Kirk: Oh... him
Picard: Q, we--
Q(annoyed): Yes yes I know Picard, you want to get back to stop Soran from
destroying that planet so you can be remembered forever in the annulls of history
as a great big hero.
Picard: Basically, yes!
Kirk: Not as much as me, right Q?
Q: Oh don't worry Kirk, Picard is far behind you.
Kirk(raises an eyebrow): What the hell do you mean by that?
Picard: Q... is it possible?
Q: yes... but when do you want to go back?
Picard: When?
Q: yes... to before your nephew and brother died?
Picard: Yes. Yes.
Q: I think I should tell you, you probably won't have time to get to Soran before he destroys
Veridian 3 if you go back and save your Brother and Nephew.
Picard(Clearly torn): (Lets out a deep sigh)
Kirk(steps forward): Picard, I have a suggestion.
Q: Then it is settled. But remember what I said about it not being easy to leave here Picard?
Picard: Yes?
Q: You owe me... a lot.
Picard: Thank you Q.
Q: Save it.
(In a flash of White light, Kirk and Picard are gone from the Nexus. Picard Appears back on his ship
at the Observatory, talking to counselor Troi. Picard activates his comm panel)
Picard: Picard to Geordi.
Geordi: yes sir?
Picard: Before you go, talk a full security team with you, apprehend Doctor Soran immediately, he is on the
Amergosa observatory in an attempt to fire a trilithium weapon.
Geordi: umm... yes sir.
Troi: Sir? How did you know?
Picard(Looks down at the message he received earlier to see it has changed to a picture of his Brother and Nephew, who are now alive and well): It doesn't matter.
Earlier that day, France, Planet Earth
(Kirk appears out of nowhere, disoriented by the flash of light and thunderstorm at the farm the Picard family has owned for many generations. Kirk sees lightning strike the house. He runs inside and yells to find the survivors. He runs upstairs and finds a Man and a young boy huddled in a corner from the rapidly-spreading fire. Kirk endures the intense fire, and grabs both of them and takes them out of the house. He ushers them towards the door, and a ceiling beam falls and strikes Kirk on the back. He falls, paralyzed. Picard's brother runs back and tries to pull up the beam, but Kirk yells at him, ordering him to leave him. The man hesitates, arguing with kirk.)
On the enterprise
Picard receives news that Captain James Kirk died in a fire on planet earth saving his family. Picard frowns, ashamed that he had to sacrifice one of history's greatest heroes just to save his family.
Picard has Soran brought in his ready room.
Picard: Soran... you realize how many people could have died for your selfish desire?
Soran: don't you dare lecture me Picard. You were there yourself.
Picard: I understand the desire Soran. But the fact is that I have no choice but to have you imprisoned.
(In a flash of light, Q appears)
Q: Ah, so this is the planet destroyer.
Soran: Who the hell are you?
Picard: This is Q. He is going to take you to the nexus.
Soran(in disbelief): What?
Q: I will see to it that he stays in a type of prison for a few hundred years Captain. After that though he will be immortal and free to roam the nexus.
PIcard: That seems satisfactory to me.
Q: Come along doctor. This is what you've wanted after all.
Soran: I'm sorry for all I have done Captain... thank you for this.
Picard: Just don't come back Soran.
Q: I assure you Captain, he won't ever want to leave.
(Q and Soran disappear in a flash of light. The End)
Quote from: Principal_Skin-trade on July 11, 2007, 01:05:49 AM
Here are some of the changes I would have made to Star Trek Generations if I wrote it:
Kirk would have been bored because he knows his glory days are long over... so he hits Scotty over the back of the head with a Klingon Dak'tahg and steals the klingon ship and goes forward in time to find the owner of the enterprise D and blow the ship away. He encounters klingon women on the bird of prey. He of course has sex with them and thus gains their loyalty and leads the klingon empire in a viscious war against the federation. Picard of course is appalled that Kirk, savior of the federation would ever do such a thing. Picard is so appalled he beams over to the ship but is beamed into the tank for george and gracey and drowns. Riker wets himself, Kirk laughs, says "Fire at Will... WILL RIKER!" and the klingons blow up the Enterprise and Troi and everyone dies. Kirk laughs and flies at warp speed to the federation to destroy planet earth. The happy Star Trek theme plays. the end.
I'd go see that flick only if you showed some Romulan boobies as well.
I only intend to show romulan boobs if the romulan women look like human beings. Plus... also see my third draft cleanup above.
Hell! If their Nips were as Pointy as their Ears, I'M THERE!!
Quote from: Principal_Skin-trade on July 12, 2007, 05:23:18 PM
I only intend to show romulan boobs if the romulan women look like human beings. Plus... also see my third draft cleanup above.
I suspect the studio would make them look not unlike Jolene Blalock so no problems there.
Plus I like your second draft it's not unlike
The Wrath of Kirk
Quote from: TripeHoundRedux on July 12, 2007, 06:22:58 PM
Quote from: Principal_Skin-trade on July 12, 2007, 05:23:18 PM
I only intend to show romulan boobs if the romulan women look like human beings. Plus... also see my third draft cleanup above.
I suspect the studio would make them look not unlike Jolene Blalock so no problems there.
Plus I like your second draft it's not unlike The Wrath of Kirk
Heh heh, thanks, I loved that fan-made trailer. 100% kick-ass ;D
It has angry Picard which is always fun to see.
Quote from: TripeHoundRedux on July 12, 2007, 06:38:31 PM
It has angry Picard which is always fun to see.
Heh heh... "I WILL TERMINATE HIM!"
Quote from: TripeHoundRedux on July 12, 2007, 06:38:31 PM
It has angry Picard which is always fun to see.
Locutus of Borg was Impressive as well!
(https://forum.rifftrax.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi66.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh275%2Frvr2%2Fpicard1.gif&hash=f96493c25feb273a537777c9c2b4c311cc0a6279)
(https://forum.rifftrax.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe276%2Fdiamondback88%2Fpicard.jpg&hash=6c325d7ed1f7f6e790cd27ac398886e5646be107)
Let it never be said that Picard can't lighten up.
Oh, what the hell. Probably not many will get the reference, but one or two of you will.
And those people will hate me for this...
Riker stared at the motionless Bird of Prey shown on the viewscreen. The Duras sisters
were up to something, but what? Even now, he could feel the hairs on the back of his
neck start to bristle. Something was about to happen.
"You precious little life forms. Where are you?"
Well, something other than Data singing. Riker inwardly sighed as he sat down in the
Captain's chair. "Deanna? Are you reading anything from the Klingons?"
Troi grimaced slightly. "Mostly a feeling of impatience. No wait. Joy! And an intense
feeling of excitement. And something odd..."
As she spoke, a sickly green projectile sprung from the Klingon vessel and tore through
the Enterprise's hull, followed quickly by a second.
"They've found a way to penetrate our shields!" exclaimed Worf.
Oh, thank you Worf. I hadn't noticed, thought Riker. "Lock phas..." Riker's order
trailed off as the Bird of Prey was struck by a hail of phaser fire. Her shields
buckled, and then failed. Picoseconds later, the vessel became a rapidly expanding
cloud of plasma.
On the bridge of the Enterprise, the crew had been stunned into silence. Data was the
first to respond. "What the hell?"
Riker quickly found his voice. "Data, where did that phaser fire come from?"
"Will, look at the Nexus," supplied Deanna.
As she spoke, a vessel emerged from the ribbon of cosmic energy. A sleek vessel, she
was greyish-white with a prominent saucer and a pair of nacelles in the aft, and even
thought the exact design was unfamiliar, the ship's stylings screamed "Federation".
Worf spoke. "Commander, we are being hailed."
Riker nodded. "On screen."
On the view screen, the image of the no longer solid Klingon vessel vanished and was
replaced with the bridge of the unknown craft. And in the foreground, there stood what
appeared to be a 15 year old girl, dressed in a Starfleet uniform.
"Good evening, fellow Star..." She stopped and a wide grin crossed her face. "Hey!
Riker!" She turned to speak to someone outside the viewscreen's field of view. "Hey
Jay! Look! It's Beard Boy!"
Riker glanced around his own bridge while the teen spoke, as if to reassure himself
that it was still there. Worf stood behind him, his usual stoic self. To his left,
Deanna's confused expression mirrored his own. And Data merely looked up, shook his
head, mumbled "Okaaaay" and resumed fiddling with the ship controls. Riker blinked, and
replied, "Um, this is Commander William Riker of the USS Enterprise-D."
The teen interrupted. "Come on Will, I know that I haven't seen you since the Rommies
blew you up, but... Oh. Sorry. Can't go into that. You know. Temporal Prime Directive
thingee. I mean that's why I can't talk about that whole Chelsea Clinton thing either.
Well, you were there, so you know what I'm talking about. Unless that hasn't happened
yet."
Riker snuck a quick glance at Deanna, catching her eye, and then quickly rose an
eyebrow. She shrugged. Riker didn't need an empathic link to know that she had no idea
what the teen was jabbering about either. Riker coughed. "I'm sorry, but is the Captain
of the ship there?"
The girl stated, "You're speaking to here. You know the whole Kid's Cr... You know
what? I'm on a tight schedule here, so if I can just talk to Dad, I'll be on my way."
"You need to speak to your Dad?"
"Yep."
Riker waited for a response, and after a moment when it became clear that the answer
wasn't forthcoming, asked "Excuse me. But what's your name?"
Data chirped in, "And who is your daddy? Is he rich like me?"
Riker growled, "Not the time for that, Data."
The teen looked quizzically at Riker or a moment, and then giggled. "Oh, yeah. Forgot
that, didn't I? I'm Marrissa Amber Flores Picard, Heir to..."
Riker stammered, "Picard?!?"
Marrissa nodded. "Yep. Is Dad around?"
Worf mumbled, "Dad?"
Riker asked, "Jean Luc Picard is your father?"
Marrissa nodded. "If he wasn't would I be calling old Chromedome dad?"
Riker once again looked at a pale Deanna, who slowly nodded in assent.
Marrissa once again spoke. "Anyway, Future Dad sent me back to talk to Past Dad. Something
about breaking the time-stream. Is he down in the sickbay with Mom again?"
Riker's train of thought began to leave the station, but not liking the probable destination, he
quickly derailed it and instead volunteered, "Um, no. He's down on the planet. trying to deal with Soran."
Marrissa nodded, "Oh, yeah. That thing. Explains why the Matrix..."
A voice from offscreen interrupted, "Nexus, M."
Marrissa sighed, "Whatever, Clara. Why the Nexus dropped us here." She smiled with a
sudden thought. "Saaay. Kirk's going to be down there soon, isn't he?" She purred
hungrily. "Jay? You want to see the stud muffin?"
"Ew. No!"
The girl shrugged and began to stride from the Bridge. "Figures. Well, I'll be down in
a sec. Clara? You coming with? Oh, Jay. If you're staying here, can you tractor these
guys? I don't want the bimbo crashing it into the planet again."
The viewscreen clicked off, leaving the bridge in silence. Worf spoke first. "His
daughter?"
Riker nodded. "That certainly appears to be the case."
Data added, "She has more hair though."
Deanna grimaced and quickly replied. "That may not be something to mention in the
captain's presence."
Data puzzledly replied, "I am fairly certain that the captain is aware of his lack of
hair follicles. After all, he..."
Riker cut off Data's line of conversation. "Worf, contact Geordi and see what damage
we've sustained. Data, scan the other vessel. I want to make sure it's what it appears
to be. De..."
"BIMBO?!?!"
Riker winced.
Data quickly chimed in, "Councillor, I am fairly certain that she was not referring to
you. Instead she was referring to one of the other females on the bridge. Perhaps the
short haired brunette to my right."
"Hey!"
"Data!" Riker exclaimed. "You're not helping." Riker turned to Troi and spoke softly.
"Imzadi? Could you read anything from her?"
Troi spoke tersely. "She seems to be telling the truth. Or at least she thought she
was. Aside from that, she seems to be confident. Very much so. And she's arrogant.
Ambitious, haughty, self-centered..."
Data interrupted, "In short, a bitch."
Riker shouted, "Data!"
Troi shook her head. "If the shoe fits..."
Riker snorted. "Well, she's the Captain's problem now. I hope he does have Kirk with
him. I have a feeling that the Captain may need assistance in dealing with her."
Data spun in his chair to face Riker. "Actually, sir, I believe that Kirk could handle
the young girl by himself. The historical records state that he was quite found of
oysters."
"That's not what I meant." Riker said exasperatedly. "Data, what is wrong with you
today?"
"I am not sure, Commander. It appears that my emotion chip has made me quite...
snarky."
"Well, why don't you take some time off until you feel less so?"
"A good idea sir. Perhaps I will head down to the holodeck and do some rock climbing
or some skydiving."
"That's fine Data."
"And I understand that Ensigns Nelson and Murphy are running a film retrospective as
well."
"That sounds interesting Data."
"Or perhaps I shall try to create another robot. Perhaps something non-humanoid. A duck
perhaps. Or a fire hydrant. Perhaps something in purple."
"Data. Go away."
"Of course, sir."
Data stood and briskly walked to the waiting turbolift. As the doors shut, he could be
heard quietly singing, "Oh, I sing whenever I sing whenever I sing..."
Riker stared at the receding doors then turned to Deanna. "Remind me to have Geordi
look him over ASAP. He's getting a bit twitchy."
Deanna assented, "Of course."
"In the meantime, let's get out of here. Push the button, Deanna."
"Pardon?"
"Sorry. Somehow, that just seemed like the right thing to say."
heh heh, Ensigns Nelson and Murphy? :D . You'll have to explain the references though because I didn't get them. I'm guessing perhaps Sixteen Candles or something along those lines?