Hello again! Wow, what even is this?
Yes, I'm still here, sometimes, but I am doing this once again...though probably this time around, I'll be doing longer reviews on a Substack account I just created, since I need to have it do something of value (mostly I've posted about projects I'm trying to get done and encouragement posts, not so much funny stuff).
But yep, same rules as the last time:
1. 1 movie per day for 31 days.
2. You cannot 'front load' by watching movies for later days, but catch-up days are fine.
3. Lots of movies count as horror, but if you have to use the phrase, "So bad it's SCARY!" to describe it, it probably doesn't count.
4. Riffs of movies are not only allowed, they are encouraged.
5. TV Specials are acceptable. This is so holiday classics that aren't technically 'movies' can be enjoyable.
6. Movies in a franchise each count as a separate movie, though watching only franchises might get a little dull.
And there it is! Enjoy!
(I have been actually keeping up with this every day, but as I said above, I've been on my Substack every day with a review, and I've been meaning to put stuff on here.
1: Beyond the Darkness (1979)
2: The Devil's Rain (1975)
3: The Hunting (2022)
4: The Frighteners (1996)
5: Without Warning (1980)
6: John Dies at the End (2012)
7: Bad Channels (1992)
8: Wax Mask (1997)
9: Nefarious (2023)
10: Brain Dead (1990)
11: Transformations (1991)
12: Beast: A Monster Among Men (2013)
13: The Thing from Another World (1951)
14: Food of the Gods (1976)
15: Demonoid (1981)
16: Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
17: Hell Hounds (2024)
18: The Night Shift (2021)
19: Tales from the Crypt (1972)
20: Ghost Story (1981)
21: Alien: Covenant (2017)
22: Scared to Death (1980)
23: Skeleton Man (2004)
24: Rifftrax: The Hideous Sun Demon (1958)
25: 13 Secrets (2016)
26: Lone Wolf (1988)
27: The Lair of the White Worm (1988)
28: Nosferatu (1979)
29: Night Vision (1987)
30: 13 Ghosts (1960)
31: It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown/Garfield's Halloween (1966/1985)
1: Beyond the Darkness (1979)
A young man into taxidermy inherits a mansion, and his very creepy housekeeper and him begin conducting murders...well, because.
I never saw this movie, and yet, it looked familiar, and I realized I had seen it several years ago in a Cinema Snob review.
What to make of this movie? Well...it's memorable. You will probably watch it and not forget it.
I've seen Joe D'Amato movies before, but of all of them? This one is probably the sleaziest because there is pretty much no plot. It's literally just watching people wandering aimlessly (roughly 78% of the runtime), conducting murder, getting very touchy-feely in the greasiest ways imaginable, and then it sort of ends. One reviewer said you might need a bath afterward. I tend to agree. It has a style to it, but like I said above, when it's not being pervy or gory, it's very boring. And after the camera zooms in on a nipple for roughly the 20th time, you begin to realize why this movie was made. You really do have to wonder if Joe did it because he thought it fairly erotic or if he was trying to make it as uncomfortable as possible for the hor...no, it's very much the former.
Not really recommended, despite its reputation. You want disturbing horror, watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which did this masterfully. You want D'Amato...well, there's always Cave Dwellers.
2. The Devil's Rain
It's that non-pieced together Ernest Borgnine movie, you know the one, where the evil monkey keeps saying, "MCHALE! MCHALE!"
(Actually, Borgnine plays a cult leader trying to recover a book from the family that betrayed him hundreds of years ago. Occasionally, somebody melts.
This movie is on a lot of "Worst Movie" lists, and though I can understand being disappointed considering the stars in it, I didn't think it was that bad. It's not a classic, but it's watchable, with good cinematography and special effects. Well, either that, or the bar had been set so low by the previous night that anything would be better. Probably wouldn't seek it out again, but if it came on a channel, I'd probably give it another look.
When this thread comes up every year, I am interested in being part of it, but can never find the free time. This year I realized I can find the time if:
A) start watching immediately after getting home from work at 6pm
B) skip the network news,
C) periodically run into the kitchen to cook my dinner, sometimes while the movie is still playing in the background. Which I can get away with because these will all be movies from my library I have already seen. And...
D) write very brief reviews every day.
As I had said in the past, the place where I currently live does not allow us to build shelves. So my entire movie library, which was once on a bunch of wall shelves in my former residence where everything was alphabetized and in separate categories, is currently all mixed up in a bunch of boxes in the spare room where they have been since we moved here. And finding specific films is problematic, especially since family members keep removing discs from a bunch of boxes to look through them to find something to watch, then put them back in random boxes effectively shuffling the discs when I am not home. So... what I will do is dig through each box every night and play the first horror themed film I find. So I have no idea what I will be watching each day.
BUT FIRST......
I still have my Laserdiscs and VHS tapes I bought in the 80s and 90s. Recently I got into an argument on if the Laserdiscs ( not the VHS tapes.. ) should all be tossed out because I am no longer watching them, and the technology is obsolete. Okay, first of all I have a lot of movies on Laserdisc I didn't get around to upgrading on DVD or Blu-ray. And even if I had the money to do that, there some movies in my library that came out on Laserdisc and were never released on DVD or Blu-ray yet. So no, I am not tossing out my Laserdiscs. So in order to prove that I am still watching my Laserdiscs, I am going to start with watching any Laserdisc I have that is horror themed. Fortunately the Laserdisc player still works, and my television set allows for analog media. But I need to use the zoom function, and what was once state of the art clarity on CRT screens, is now blurry low res on modern screens. Maybe I should upgrade my Laserdiscs. So lets start with the first film....
#1 Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein ( 1948 )
I actually did upgrade this one. I bought the Abbott and Costello Universal Collection which had this. Then since Universal screwed up by using the Realart re release print which edits out the Universal logo, cutting out part of the opening cartoon and the closing gag of A&C jumping into the lake after meeting the Invisible Man, they had to release a properly restored disc separately, which I have as well. And yet, here I am watching it on Laserdisc. There are a few A&C movies that absolutely lie in their title. For example, they don't go to Mars in Abbott and Costello Go To Mars, they go to freaking Venus where instead of finding Martians and a lot of cool stuff, they find a bunch of normal looking women who kick them off the planet ten minutes later. So how does Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein lie? Simple. They don't meet Frankenstein. Frankenstein was the mad doctor who creates The Monster ( or sometimes Frankenstein's Monster, ) which is all that it is called in every movie up until it was given the name Herman for The Munsters. Up until this film Universal was careful to have either Doctor Frankenstein or one of his decedents in the sequels whenever Frankenstein was used in the title. The Bride of Frankenstein was actually a reference to Doctor Frankenstein's wife Elezabeth, and not the female monster, who is called The Monster's Mate in he credits and never actually weds The Monster. Even Mel Brooks Young Frankenstein knew enough to have a descendent of Frankenstein as the protagonist. Hammer Films did one better, by having Doctor Frankenstein ( Peter Cushing ) in all their sequels, even in films The Monster wasn't in, identifying Doctor Frankenstein as the real villain of their film series. In Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, they never meet any member of the Frankenstein family. They meet The Monster, they meet The Wolfman, they meet Dracula and they briefly meet The Invisible Man. Or at the least, get chased by each. Does this count as a horror film? The monsters are no less dangerous than in their previous films. The Wolfman nearly kills one victim. So I guess it sort of counts. Anyway, this was just the makeup movie for October 1st which I did not watch due to the debate. So A&C Meet F was the make-up movie. Here was tonight's film...
#2 Mary Shelley's Frankenstein ( 1994 )
With nothing on after Survivor but a rerun of the Climb the Mountain reality show I already watched Sunday, had enough time to watch this. Honestly, I originally bought this film because John Cleese was in it, playing a dramatic role as Doctor Frankenstein's mentor Professor Waldman who later, after being murdered, has his brain used to build the monster. Robert De Nero plays the monster in this film, one of his best performances. Kenneth Branagh plays Doctor Frankenstein, and also directed the film. I recall in interviews when this film came out hat Branagh desired to make a film adaption of Frankenstein that was faithful to the source novel. Universal sort of did that with The Bride of Frankenstein, using most of the material from the novel they didn't use in the first Frankenstein film. Branagh lamented that every adaption of Frankenstein just used the bit about the Doctor bringing the monster to life, then made up the rest of the plot from that point on. So he mad sure this film followed the novel precisely, even including the book's framing story where Doctor Frankenstein is first found by explorers nearly dead at the North Pole, then recounts his story to the captain about how he built the monster, with the bulk of the novel as a flash back. However, going trough all of this trouble to make a faithful adaption of the source novel, Branagh could not help but make one major change to the plot, having the Doctor reanimating a female monster near the end of the movie ( for reasons that would be a spoiler, so that is as much as I will say about that ) which he said he was compelled to add because he felt Mary Shelley missed the opportunity to add such a plot twist. This plot twist was probably the only part of the film that fails , so a big mistake in what was almost a perfect adaption of the novel.
QuoteBranagh could not help but make one major change to the plot, having the Doctor reanimating a female monster near the end of the movie ( for reasons that would be a spoiler, so that is as much as I will say about that ) which he said he was compelled to add because he felt Mary Shelley missed the opportunity to add such a plot twist.
I've never seen the movie, and it's been awhile since I read the book, but that sounds more like they changed the book a bit instead of adding, since there I was pretty sure there is a companion monster in it, if very, very briefly, that never actually gets finished, because Victor gets cold feet. I could be mistaken, though.
3: The Hunting (2022/2021)
Why are the release dates for a lot of these newer movies so weird? It says it came out in '22, but the end credits say '21. I think last year I saw several movies that did the same thing.
Cop investigates missing persons. Persons turn out not to be missing, but murdered. Murderer left behind huge paw print, so cop calls nearby wolf expert. Werewolf ensues.
I don't know Peyton Hillis, who plays the cop in this, but he's apparently an ex-football player in real life, and the only person in the whole thing that acts like a human being; everyone else spouts exposition and is very wooden. And there is a twist...and if you think you've got it figured out, well... technically, you can't, because there is crucial information missing so you can't possibly get the right answer (even though it's set up for repeat viewings to catch clues, but the most important one is not brought up...at least, I don't recall ever hearing it).
Trouble is, even if the story part was half good (it's a nice setup, even if executed poorly), the costume is...well, it looks like a Spirit Halloween Yeti. No joke, the hair looks like a shag carpet.
People, if you can't do the effect right, don't do a werewolf movie. It's important. It somehow looks better and worse than Zev from Lycan Colony at the same time (the face moves, as it's makeup, but the rest looks faker...yes, I said it!)
I don't recommend it, but the twist is admirable both in its setup and it's laughable treatment.
Quote from: SJP on October 03, 2024, 07:36:55 PM
I've never seen the movie, and it's been awhile since I read the book, but that sounds more like they changed the book a bit instead of adding, since there I was pretty sure there is a companion monster in it, if very, very briefly, that never actually gets finished, because Victor gets cold feet. I could be mistaken, though.
That part is in the book. The Doctor nearly does build a female monster as a companion to the first monster he created, but then realizing they could breed a race of superhumans, tears the female monster apart before she is brought to life. This is also in the movie. What Branagh added is an additional plot twist where he returns to his lab to reanimate the female monster anyway. Something that is not in the novel.
#3
Bride of Chucky ( 1998 )I am not into the
Child's Play franchise. This is the only film in that franchise I have actually watched. So why did I buy it on Laserdisc, the format designed so that your discs were to last more than 100 years? The bulk of the Laserdiscs I bought back then were either part of the New Wave Hong Kong cinema, or had ex-Monty Python members in the cast. In 1997 the 100 year lease Great Britain had on Hong Kong expired, and it was officially handed over to mainland China. Knowing they were soon not to be under the protection of British rule, many in the Hong Kong film industry sought to move to Hollywood. In turn, Hollywood encouraged the import of this new talent, especially as Hong Kong films were selling well on the home video market. Jet Li, John Woo and Jackie Chan were the first to plant their flags in America with their own Hollywood produced films, and were soon followed by just about everyone else who took their turns with their own American films. Some like Yuen Woo Peng carved out their own successful careers in the American film industry. Others got fed up quickly with the long drawn out politics of getting a film green lit by a Hollywood studio and, and returned to China where the studios still green lit films the moment after any major talent pitched it. Ronny Yu was considered among Hong Kong's top directors just upon the success of his 1993 wuxia masterpiece
The Bride With White Hair, which is still among my top ten favorite Hong Kong movies. Technically he had already made his American debut with
Warriors of Virtue, a forgettable rip off of the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films that failed to launch a planned Warriors of Virtue film franchise and toy line. It was a Chinese-American-Canadian co-production, so sort of didn't count.
Bride of Chucky, made a year later, would be his first full American film, and the first in a major Hollywood franchise. How could I pass up not buying it? It had "Bride" in it's title. Could that mean the film reenacted action scenes from
The Bride With White Hair, just as John Woo's
Hard Target had reenacted action choreography from
Hard Boiled and Chow Yun Fat's
Replacement Killers reused action choreography from
The Killer?
Bride of Chucky shares nothing with
The Bride With White Hair, the only link being that the producer probably thought of Ronny Yu after they decided on the title of
Bride of Chucky and it reminded them that the director of
Bride With White Hair was probably looking for work. It is mostly a comedy, but with gags such as Chucky causing a character to flee onto a highway where he is smashed to bits by a grill of a speeding truck. Jennifer Tilly plays Tiffany Valentine, a former girlfriend of Charles Lee Ray, the serial killer who transported his soul into the Chucky doll. Tiffany is also a serial killer, and after retrieving the torn up remains of the Chucky doll, stitches it back together and uses voodoo to bring it back to life. When Tiffany locks Chucky in a play pen after he refuses to marry her, he escapes and kills her, then as a joke traps her soul in a baby girl doll. Chucky then informs Tiffany that they can both take over the bodies of the teenage couple next door if they can find the voodoo amulet Ray had worn around his neck when he was killed. All they have to do is trick the teenagers into driving them to New Jersey where Ray was buried and presumably is still wearing the amulet. What follows is a road trip where the clueless couple think they are being paid $1000 to hand deliver two dolls to New Jersey, and can't understand why people they meet along the way are getting killed. The movie works for what it is, and was one of the reasons Yu was selected to direct
Freddy vs. Jason a few years later. It is not a great film. But it is entertaining as a bubblegum film.
#4 Wicked City ( 1992 )
Of all the Laserdiscs I need upgrading on, this one deserves it the most. Despite being released by Image Entertainment, the source print had a lot of splice cuts, including one that cuts most of the ending off. I am not sure if this was from normal wear and tear from it being a theatrical print, or because it was cut by censors. Released in the 90s, it was most likely sourced from a British release print, and Britain was notorious for censor edits of the Hong Kong films released in England. Wicked City is a live action Tsui Hark produced effects film based on an Anime of the same name, which I am sure is probably superior to this version. Depending on which dub, subtitles or release print you chose, the Earth has been invaded by a race of demons, monsters, or something called rapters. The Image Laserdiscs can't make up it's mind, because what they are called on the English dub track is different from their translated subtitles. The original Anime calls them demons, so let's call them that, because they do take up the characteristics of Asian demons. Anyway, they have migrated from their dimension to Earth and all can take the form of humans, although each is a different looking creature with different powers when in their true form. To combat these demons are a secret government agency who act and dress like the Men in Black. Only they have psychic powers along with their weapons. I am sure MiB was inspired by this film, as was the Blade series as the Demons seek to keep themselves a secret, and now rum a multimillion dollar corporation. The psychic agents are of course the modern day equivalent of the Taoist priests who hunted demons and ghosts in the wuxia films, and are just as biased against the Demons. While the demon leader wants demons and humans to live in peace, a fraction wants to take over, and use their races powers to conquer mankind. What sets off the events of this film is when that faction begins selling demon drugs to the humans. One is a version of steroids which gives whoever takes it temporary superhuman strength, but also causes them to go into a violent and destructive rage. This puts the demons on the radar of the Agency, and causes a civil war among the demons, leading to a lot of mass destruction. The plot takes so many wild turns from that point on that it would take forever to summarize it. Needless to say, the film jumps from one crazy set piece to the next. My favorite being when agents along with a friendly demon try to invade the building where the company is based, and run into one particularly nasty female demon who is made up of machine parts and can transform herself into any machine. In this case, as an elevator to trap the heroes. But the friendly demon knows her weakness, and by rearranging her parts from the inside, turns her into a motorcycle that he drives around the building against her will. Plenty of other crazy shit in this film, most with the best state of the art 80s visual effects. It was fun fantasy films like this that popularized New Wave Hong Kong cinema at film festivals in the 90s, leading to those films being released on home video by companies like Image.
#5 Untold Story ( 1993 )
This horror film based on a true crime story about a serial killer who after butchering an entire family who runs a restaurant, takes over that restaurant and begins using their bodies, and the bodies of other victims, as the ingredients to his pork buns. The only body parts he can't use are the bones, and when they begin showing up in the bay, the police begin investigating the restaurant, unaware the cook is the murderer they seek, or that the free pork buns he has been giving the police detectives for free is his victims. This is a better than usual splatter film where you actually begin to feel sorry for the killer as he is arrested and relentlessly tortured by the police to get a confession. It is only after he confesses, and you finally see the murder of the innocent family in a flashback, including their crying children who he saved for last, that all sympathy for this monster ceases. BTW, I watched this movie after midnight on Friday, which legally counts as Saturday. There is no way in hell I could watch this film during the day or in prime time when the family is awake, and not have them demand to throw out my Laserdiscs immediately.
#6 Witch From Nepal ( 1986 )
Most horror from Hong Kong suggests that Nepal is where dark magic is still practiced and there is a continuous battle between good magicians and evil witch doctors. Not here in Hong Kong where the modern world with all of it's science has done away with myths. But head over to that country and you will get hexed. Witch Fron Nepal draws on those fears that dark magic is just a plane ride away. Although the Witch of the title is not the threat. An evil shaman warrior attacks and destroys a temple where ancient gems of untold power are kept. The elderly mystic warrior protector of the gems fights the shaman and is mortally wounded. His apprentice Shelia, a beautiful priestess with mystical powers, removes the gems from the temple while they are fighting, then spirits the protector away after the fight, and before the evil shaman discovers the gems are gone. Before the protector dies, he tells Sheila that a new protector has just arrived in Nepal, and she must find him. That protector is tourist Chow Yun Fat who has come to Nepal with his girlfriend for a romantic vacation. He has an accident during a safari, and while knocked out has visions of Sheila. When he returns to Hong Kong, Sheila follows him, where she tries to convince him that he is the chosen one who is to guard the sacred gems and weld the protector sword. So far, so good. But then we hit the middle of the film. And one of the biggest problems of most Hong Kong films of the 80s and 90s was that they switch tone to screwball comedy in the middle of the film, completely abandoning the earlier set up scenes. Chow Yun Fat falls in love with Sheila, and the film becomes a rom-com . Sure, Sheila shows off her magic, and Chow learns from her that he has powers and how to use them, but by this point you are stuck in an annoying and unfunny comedy. Finally, the evil shaman shows up in Hong Kong, and the film shifts back to horror. Chow must accept his destiny and face off against the shaman in a battle that Bey Logan and other historians of the New Wave Hong Kong cinema compared to the movie Highlander for some odd reason. Except for the ending battle of Highlander taking place at night, they are nothing alike. At the time Bey Logan and other proponents of Hong Kong cinema were trying to indoctrinate everyone into watching the films, so I guess comparing Witch From Nepal to Highlander was to get Highlander fans to watch that film? Highlander bombed at the box office, and while it picked up enough of a cult following on video to have sequels and a television series, it never went beyond having a cult following. It is definitely not Highlander, but is it horror? The witch of the title is Sheila, and the middle of the film is an annoying screwball rom-com. But then you have the evil shaman who uses dark magic which he uses to tear a dog barking at him in half moments upon arriving in Hong Kong. And at one point the shaman raises an army of zombies to kill the heroes, so yep, this is part horror. Just not for the entire film.
I accidentally watched a second horror film yesterday. The Horror At 37,000 Feet, which was among the 70s disaster films I was collecting. I thought the movie was one of the many 70s airliner disaster movies that were made for television. It was suggested to me by Amazon after buying Mayday At 40,000 Feet and was described as an airliner disaster. Turns out the disaster is a cursed artifact on a plane that is killing the passengers. Since the rules are not to front load, then this will not count in the total of 31 in 31. And as such, it is reviewed in the What Was The Last Movie You Watched topic.
#7 Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires ( 1974 )
I could have sworn I had the Chinese Ghost Story films on Laserdisc. I did have Tsui Hark's Green Snake ( 1993 ) which was a varient of those films. But double checking with the various synopses on review sites, it doesn't seem to have any malevolent demons or spirits as the enemy. Just two demon snakes ( played by Maggie Cheung and Joey Wong when in human form ) attempting to redeem themselves, which is not really horror. The last of my Laserdiscs that would qualify as horror would be Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires. Which I also have on Blu-ray, so that will be the format I watch. From this point on I will be digging through my boxes of DVDs and Blu-rays. The first horror themed movies I come across each day will be that nights movie. I know I have some gems buried in those boxes, such as Chinese Ghost Story and original Scream trilogy. Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires was easy enough to find, as it is at the top of one of the open boxes. Right below are seven other Shaw horror films, so that will be what I watch for the rest of the week. This movie was made around the time Hammer Films was facing bankruptcy. The British studio had been riding high on the success of their horror movies, but by the 1970s those films seemed old fashioned. Martial arts movies were the newest fad, so Hammer decided to co-produce films with Shaw Brothers. Maybe adding Kung Fu to their films could give them box office hits again, and save their studio. Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires is a continuation of Hammer's Dracula franchise. Dracula is summoned to China to awake the legendary 7 Golden Vampires so they can once again rampage through the country. Coincidentally professor Van Helsing is in China on a tour of universities where he gives lectures on vampire hunting. A villager from the region that is being terrorized by the revived 7 Golden Vampire clan asks Van Helsing for his help, so escorted by a family of martial arts experts, he heads to the pagoda of the Vampires for a showdown. The most amazing thing about this movie is that it works both as a Hammer vampire film, and as a martial arts film, with both genres complimenting each other instead of making a mess. Just about the only complaint one could have is how little screen time Dracula is given, who only shows himself in the pre-opening credits scene, and again in the final five minutes of the film where Van Helsing defeats him too easily.
#8 Black Magic ( 1975 )
So why did Shaw Brothers start making intense horror movies in 1974? Perhaps for a few reasons. Their collaboration with Hammer on Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires was successful enough for them to decide to make more. Shaw Brothers had been distributing the Hammer films in Hong Kong for years, and with that studio going out of business, no longer had a studio supplying a regular slate of horror films, thus the need to make their own. After the death of Bruce Lee a year earlier, the martial arts film began falling into a slump, so they were looking for a popular genre to replace it. But whatever the reason, their horror films became more and more intense. Black Magic was at the beginning of their string of horror films, so is not as intense as what was to follow. But even their tamest horror film was crazy. A spoiled rich woman desires Ti Lung, but he will have nothing to do with her as he is already engaged to his girlfriend. So she finds a black magic sorcerer to hex the couple and make Ti fall in love with her. And things go downhill from there. The sorcerer inflicts all sorts of curse mayhem on the couple until a practitioner of white magic stops by to nullify the curses and to stop the evil sorcerer for good, ending with a battle of magic between the two magicians using cheesy pre-Star Wars special effects.
#9 Seeding of a Ghost ( 1983 )
A cab drivers wife is raped and killed by a thug, and instead of arresting them, the cops suspect the husband actually killed his wife, because it turned out she was having an affair with another man. After an attempt to get revenge on his own only gets his leg broken, the cab driver goes to an evil sorcerer he once accidentally ran over and begs him to put a curse on the rapist and the man she was having an affair with. The wife's rotting body is dug up and reanimated. Somewhere else in the city the rapists spine bursts open, and the wife's spirit takes over control of his body, forcing him to walk over to her and have sex with her again. The sorcerer tells the husband they are seeding a vengeful ghost in the wife, which once born, the husband can control with his spirit. Only he won't be alive at the time, as he needs to transfer all his blood into the wife's corpse. Once this is done, the ghost in the wife's body transfers into the wife of the man she was cheating with. This all builds up to the climax where the cheaters wife is giving birth in her bedroom while their family and friends are gathered downstairs, none suspecting she is about to birth a monster, It spectacularly bursts out of her body like Alien, killing her in the process, and immediately spits a glob of acid onto the doctor's face, melting it. Then proceeds to run amuck in the house, grabbing the frightened inhabitants with it's tentacles and biting their limbs off with it's teeth until nearly everyone is dead. A perfect scene to watch while everyone in my living room is eating dinner.
#10 The Killer Snakes ( 1974 )
A homeless man named Chen squats in an abandoned store front next door to a pharmacy that sells organs from live Snakes as cures. One of the snakes escapes and finds it's way into the store Chen is squatting in, and he adopts it as a pet. Soon Chen steals all the snakes from the pharmacy, and finds out they will do his bidding thanks to his act of kindness to them. Which is convenient because Chen knows a lot of lowlifes around town who in the past beat him up or abused him who he wants the snakes to kill. The Killer Snakes is a rip off of a rip off. Willard ( 1971 ), a film about a man who befriends rats and has them kill his abusive boss, was ripped off a year later with Stanley ( 1972 ), about a man who befriends rattlesnakes and has then kill his enemies. Stanley was successful enough in Asia that Shaw Brothers decided to produce and release their own knock off film about killer snakes. There are a couple of problems with this film. One is that the director had no problem mutilating and killing live snakes by his actors. It should be noted that Asians think nothing more of reptiles aa we would with insects, and we have no problem with a film that kills bees, ants or other insects on screen. But watching what has to be a painful death for the snakes in this movie makes those scenes hard to watch. The second problem is that almost every character in this film is extremely unlikable, making it impossible to care about who the snakes kill or why.
#11 Human Lanterns ( 1982 )
The two richest men in town are rivals who are constantly trying to one up each other. The lantern festival is coming up, where the winner is the person with the best lantern. Determined to beat his rivaled, one of the rich men seeks out the reclusive artisan who makes the best lanterns around and commissions him. Soon after, women are being kidnapped by a psychopath in a mask who takes them back to his lair where their skin is peeled off. At this point we are not to know who the masked man is, but the title of the film pretty much gives that spoiler away. The psychopath intends to kidnap and kill woman living with both rivals in order to get them to blame each other and physically fight each other, this over an old grudge he has against one of them. So we get martial arts action too.
For some reason, Hong Kong horror seems like something I should watch more of, but most of my crap barrel seems to be Italian horror movies. Even when I'm seeing an American production, there is sometimes an Italian film crew.
Anyway, to catch up on reviews/movies, here's the short, short versions:
4: The Frighteners (1996)
Peter Jackson's goofy little Tales from the Crypt-esque film before he got to do his dream project still holds up pretty well, though you definitely see more Zemeckis in the production quality. The only thing that doesn't the CG reaper ghost; it looks genuinely awful.
5: Without Warning (1980)
Greydon Clark, ladies and gentleman! And it's surprisingly decent! I would actually say this movie about an alien hunting people in a small town (yes, just like Predator, and the guy who played the Predator plays the alien in this) is probably the best movie he ever made. It's not saying much, but it's far less silly than anything else I've seen of his.
6: John Dies at the End (2012)
I am torn as to if I like this or not. I like the goofy humor and it's generally enjoyable, but considering the episodic source material (which I've never read, but I have seen a synopsis) and the fact that a production this size could never film inside the Luxor, it does feel rushed and tacked together with glue. I certainly didn't hate it, but I'm hesitant to recommend it wholeheartedly, though Don Coscarelli is the right guy to put something like this together.
7: Bad Channels (1992)
A film about a shock jock who tries to warn the town of an impending alien attack using the airwaves, but due to his reputation, everyone thinks it's a gag and he gets his highest ratings ever. Not as funny as it ought to be, it was during the 90s slump of Full Moon entertainment and drags thanks to three ill-advised showstopping musical numbers. And I mean show stopping, as in the movie comes to a screeching halt when they come on and never recovers. Even Blue Oyster Cult doing the rest of the soundtrack can't save it.
8: Wax Mask (1997)
The final film Lucio Fulci had a hand in, and dedicated to him by Dario Argento. Essentially, a gorier remake of House of Wax with more lady toplessness. Surprisingly good effects, and the performances aren't bad, and the sets and costumes make it look like a much more glamorous picture than it is, but the ending will probably make you chuckle. It's all a bit silly.
9: Nefarious (2023)
I ended up liking this a bit more than I thought I would, even though it has a reputation due to its source material. Considering most "faith-based" movies rub me the wrong by barely even being movies (I go to church and I find most them fairly cringey and poorly written), that this has a plot that isn't your typical preachy fare is a surprise.
10: Brain Dead (1990)
This is, I think, the movie that made Peter Jackson rename his movie Dead Alive for the U.S. market. It may also be the only movie to feature Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton in it, but sadly, that's the only reason to watch it. It is an old 1960s script somewhat modernized for the times, but it still ends up being nothing but a bunch of easily caught twists and mindscrews. See it for the top "Bill-ing," but ignore the rest.
11: Transformations (1991)
This I had on VHS as a kid, and sometimes nostalgia isn't enough to make something look good. This movie is laughably stupid, and the ending makes the prior hour and a half completely pointless. But there is a great scene in which a character sticks his finger into the barrel of a gun and it backfires, all to the the tune of the suspenseful music that Ralphie decodes Annie's Secret Message to in A Christmas Story. Not worth watching the whole movie to see, but if you find the clip, watch it and have a good laugh.
12: Beast: A Monster Among Men (2013)
This movie is a bait-and-switch. I don't just mean that it looks like a werewolf movie on the poster art (it is not). You think you're going to watch a movie, and instead, the 66 minutes that this is made of is 59 minutes of people arguing and squabbling while wandering the woods, having the exact same argument over and over. Even the out of nowhere last minute twist isn't worth the time. It's not the worst MADE movie I have ever seen, but I can barely even argue it's a movie at all. It can't be made fun of, because there's nothing there TO make fun of. It's literally nothing for its entire runtime, and I'm not meaning that hyperbolically; the only thing even resembling a motive or plot occurs 10 minutes before the end. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
#12 Corpse Mania ( 1981 )
A few years back I had tried the 31 horror films in 31 days challenge and something went wrong. Something to do with the PC crashing with only a day or two to go. Anyway, I recall having all of my Asian horror DVDs together in the same box. Now there are only six, the rest having been taken out of that box over the years, perhaps watched, then returned to a completely different box. What was at one time about 35 films kept together by subject is now scattered in several other boxes. I keep asking my family that if they remove a movie from a box then return it to where it had been found. Instead, my movie collection continues to be shuffled like a deck of cards. I don't know what possesses them to do this. Perhaps Pezuzu. Anyway, this is the last of the Shaw horror films I can easily find. So this movie, about the investigation of a possible serial killer at a brothel, will be the last this year. It is more of a mystery movie than a horror film, with much of the supernatural being explained away at the end. But you get your dark foggy streets, abandoned houses, mutilated corpses, and a deranged serial killer, so it feels like a horror film until the Scooby-Doo ending.
#13 Häxen ( 1922 )
So from this point on I will be digging through my boxes of films each day and watching the first horror film I come across, and the first one I find is... Yes! Häxen. Technically a documentary made by a Dutch psychiatrist who was arguing that the witch hunts of the Medieval period were caused not by demon possessions, but by undiagnosed mental conditions. Yet most of the run time is devoted to the history of the European's belief that witchcraft existed, the hysteria that lead to witch hunts where suspected witches and warlocks, and the most chilling part of the film, reenactments of the black masses and demon f%$king the Christians were convinced was happening.
#14 King Kong ( 1933 )
It can't be avoided because they are all clumped together and sitting on top of one of the boxes. My collection of giant ape movies which is in the smaller box earmarked for the kaiju films and so far also includes the Godzilla, Gamera and Monster Universe films. The one box no one bothers to rummage through. I don't think most kaiju counts as horror. They are more closer to disaster movies with the monsters causing mass destruction rather than going after individual victims, with the bulk of the movie either being about monster vs armed forces, or monster vs second monster. So I am disqualifying most of the genre, otherwise that will be all I watch as this box has over 50 kaiju films at least. Giant ape movies are less like horror as we are to feel sorry for the gorilla that man has uprooted from it's home and brought to civilization where it just didn't fit in. The 1933 King Kong film is one of the few exceptions. True, once again man has captured the ape and brought him back to civilization. But the 1933 King Kong is a f%$king murderer. It knowingly crushes or chews up innocent bystanders just because it's pissed, kills an entire subway car full of commuters for no good reason, and when trying to find the human woman he is in love within, Ann Darrow, pulls a sleeping woman from her apartment, then when realizing it isn't Ann, casually tosses her to her death. Ann is the only human Kong would never murder, yet sexually molests her every time they are alone. Now that is a monster. King Kong ranks among the best movies ever made, and not just because it created an iconic movie monster, but because it took one of the stupidest stories ever written for film and somehow made it work as a plausible thriller.
#15 Bigfoot ( 2012 )
Only one other movie in my giant ape collection seems to qualify as horror, and that is the made for SyFy Bigfoot movie. Normally, Bigfoot isn't tall enough to qualify as a giant ape. But this one is huge. And unlike other giant ape movies where the ape is more interested in smashing buildings, Bigfoot will immediately grab any human it finds and either chew them to death, stamp on them, or rip their body into pieces. This Bigfoot is pissed and it wants to kill everyone. The main draw of this film is it's cast. Danny Bonaduce from The Partridge Family and Greg Brady himself, Barry Williams from The Brady Bunch who are pitted against each other as rival characters. This film was made in response to the success of another made for SyFy film from a year earlier, Megapython vs Gatoroid, which was another of Asylum's endless CGI monster movies, but with the added gimmick of casting former teen pop stars Debbie Gibson and Tiffany as rival characters. Looking for other pop cultural icons to cast as rivals, and probably getting a lot of rejections for Gary Coleman vs Webster in a monster movie, or Screech vs Larry, Daryl and his other brother Daryl in a monster movie, they got Danny Bonaduce and at least one of the Brady kids to commit to a film. The plot: Danny is an asshole DJ who is holding a music festival in a woodland park, which involves clear cutting trees to create a field for the audience and stage. Barry is a environmental activist trying to stop Danny from cutting the trees down. But the mayor of the local town ( Howard Hesseman ) has the final say, and wants the money the festival will bring in. Meanwhile, Bigfoot lives in the park and violently kills anyone who wanders into his territory. The festival goes on as planned, and the noise brings an angry Bigfoot out of the woods who in a few minutes kills most of the attendees. Danny loses a fortune, and vows to recoup his losses by killing Bigfoot and putting the body on display, heading into the woods with some hunters. Barry decides Bigfoot is an endangered species, and he and his environmentalist buddies go into the woods to protect Bigfoot. By now the sheriff's department ( Sherilyn Finn and Bruce Davison ) also want Bigfoot dead, and head into the woods to kill it themselves. But Bigfoot doesn't give a shit about anyone, and kills everyone until only Barry and Danny are left alive. I won't give away the ending, but it basically leads up to the same exact closing gag as was in Megapython vs Gatoroid. The CGI is acceptable, and really good for a cable movie. But this is a film from Asylum, so they cheaped out by only having 30 seconds combined of the CGI Bigfoot, which they reuse over and over again. And like most Asylum films, despite the camp and action, is somehow monotonous.
#16 Subterano ( 2003 )
I made it to the halfway point in this challenge, which for a while I thought I had screwed up. Going on to another box, I pulled out a DVD I didn't realize I had. A movie in a box that was so scuffed up that it was certainly a used copy, very likely from a rental shop. But it had no actors I liked, was not in a category I collected, and was not one of my favorite films. Why did I have this? Was it in one of those boxes at Blockbuster Video where they were giving away the DVDs they were going to throw out anyway? Or some other rental shop gave it away? Did someone gift it to me? Maybe a guest brought it over long ago and left it? I recalled seeing it a long time ago. Did a family member buy it for themselves and leave it in my collection once they no longer wanted it? The box cover was a picture of a bloody hand reaching out of rubble, a throw back to the typically artwork found on horror movie boxes of VHS rentals in the 80s. The tag line on the cover was "The next level in terror", and my recollection of watching it years ago was the movie was a rip off of Saw with the group of victims trapped in an underground bunker, or something like that. I did a Google search and it was described as Science Fiction/Horror. "Well, I guess this counts as a horror film. And by my own rules, I have to watch this next." I thought to myself. A half hour in I saw nothing bur Science Fiction and thought I had screwed up, missing a day and stuck watching a cheap Australian Sci-fi film. Eventually the horror bit did kick in. But this film just barely qualifies. In a dystopian future, a rebel leader being transported for a public execution for assassinating the countries dictator escapes. His girlfriend who may have been the one to turn him in drives him to an underground parking garage where the rebels built an escape tunnel running under the city to a safe area known as the mountains. Meanwhile, we are told that in this future world, everyone plays a VR game with early 90s graphics called Subterano where the object is to descend through several levels of an underworld controlled by a mysterious shadow master, each with a dangerous mini boss, and with an unbelievable master boss at the final level. The teenage developer of the game asks four of his friends to go into the same underground parking garage. Also down there is an old employee of the VR company who has just been fired, and a female security guard. The garage locks up unexpectedly, and when everyone converges on the front gate, discovers the attendant dead with a head wound. The shadow master announces himself and let's everyone know they are playing a live version of Subterano where the players will be killed off for real one by one. Which is basically what happens. While there is some decent CGI involving liquid metal balls that form into the bosses, this is a very cheap film, which is basically filmed entirely in the same parking garage, most likely on the same level again and again doubling for lower levels of the garage. It would be pure Science Fiction if not for the gruesome way each character is killed, putting this in the category of serial killer movie much like Saw.
#17 The Food of the Gods ( 1976 )
Before I started this I decided that all animal attack movies would count as horror. Somewhere in my boxes I have Grizzly, Tentacles and a few others where animals begin killing off humans, and you were meant to feel fear when it happened, no different than any monster movie. Although I will skip Jaws as next year I will be watching it both on June 20th to celebrate it's 50th anniversary, and on July 4th as my own yearly tradition. It seems to be a mixed opinion on what category these films fall in. For example, Wikipedia categorizes The Birds as natural horror, while categorizing this film aa science fiction. But the movie poster shows a giant rat dragging a terrified woman up into the trees. And the movie made the cover of Famous Monsters magazine. So yeah, this is a horror film. It is part of a double feature disc with a second animal attack movie I will be watching tomorrow. This film has ties to MST3K although they as of today have never riffed it. It was directed by Bert I Gordon, who's movies were frequently riffed on MST3K. In the mid 60s Bert acquired the film rights to HG Wells novel The Food of the Gods and How It Came To Earth with the plan to lift various elements from the book to make several movies credited to HG Wells. The first was Village of the Giants which MST3K did riff. The only thing these two movies share in common is goo that turns whoever eats it into giants. Football players take a vacation on a Canadian island where one of them wanders into the woods by himself and is killed by a giant wasp. Not satisfied that his friend died of natural causes, one of his team mates ( Marjoe Gortner ) returns to the island to investigate. There he finds an old woman on a farm with a missing husband. They had both found this goo seeping out of the ground that when fed to livestock makes them grow, and had begun bottling it. But animals got into the barn, knocked over and broke some of the bottles, and now the island is infested with giant wasps and rats looking to hunt and kill the last surviving humans on the island one by one. Exactly as scary as you would expect Bert I Gordon to be capable of.
#18 Frogs ( 1972 )
The second animal attack movie on the double feature disk. The suggestion is that the humans in this film will be attacked by killer frogs. However, not only don't any frogs kill anyone in this movie, there are no frogs in this movie at all. Instead, the movie uses cane toads in the role of the frogs, an invasive species the state of Florida is currently trying to get rid of. And the toads don't do anything but be a constant annoyance. Ray Milland is the miserable wheelchair bound patriarch of a mostly miserable family who lives on a swamp island in the middle of a lake in Florida. Because if you are rich, that is exactly where you want your mansion to be built. The entire family is invited to the mansion to celebrate his birthday, which is basically mandatory for anyone wanting to remain in his will. Meanwhile the wildlife on this island want the family dead, and each time one of them wanders off alone, one of the critters kills them. But not the toads... I mean frogs. No, they just hop around the estate grounds in large numbers, but do nothing else. It is the reptiles, insects, leeches, and even plants that go around offing the family members. It helps them that the members of this family is dumber than a box of rocks and will walk right into any ambush the wildlife sets up. For example, one family member is killed in the greenhouse when a lizard pushes a bottle marked poison off a shelf. The victim sees this happen, yet walks over to the cloud of gas emitted from the smashed bottle and bends down to take a closer look, where the fume do him in while he has a shocked looking on his face that seems to say: "Wait a second. Greenhouse poison is deadly?"
As the bodies pile up in whatever room in the mansion they are taken to after being found, the family begins to realize the wildlife here is killing them. But Ray is unfazed by half his family being dead, and demands that everyone stay to celebrate his birthday. Which they at first reluctantly do, but then realize they won't be inheriting that money if they are dead too. The animals pick them off as they attempt their escape, and only the married couple with the children making it off the island alive. This is when the only truly chilling moment in the film happens. They make it to the highway where they flag down a passing car. The family in that car mention that they have been on the highway all day, and have not seen any other vehicles, suggesting that this phenomenon could be worldwide, and there is nowhere safe to flee. This should have been where the movie ended, but instead we go back to the island estate where miserable Ray Milland refused to leave because if no one is going to celebrate his birthday, then dammit, he's going to celebrate it on his own. His little pity party doesn't last long as the frogs break through the glass doors and begin knocking shit over, jump on the Victrola which was the Island's only sound system, and make a lot of croaking noises. And then Kermit bursts in with a shotgun and says: "HI ho! Time to die motherf$#ker!" No wait. That doesn't happen. Because just when you think the frogs converging on Ray are finally going to kill someone in this movie, he has a heart attack and dies. And the movie may as well had a Kermit the Frog ending, because after Ray croaks himself, it cuts to a cartoon of a frog with a human hand sticking out of it's mouth that it slurps up.
Unfortunately I just have not had the time to view or write much this year at all, so I will leave a stake here and try to get back with as much as I can.
1. The Boogeyman (2023)
2. Brightburn (2019)
3. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice (2024)
4. The Fury (1978)
5. Jennifer's Body (2009)
6. The Amityville Horror (2005)
7. The Conference (2023)
8. Longlegs (2024)
9. Cold Blows the Wind (2024)
10. Megalopolis (2024) - The horror! The horror!
11. Pet Sematary (1989)
12. Salem's Lot (2024)
13. Haunted Mansion (2023)
14. Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
4. The Fury
Although The Fury (1978, directed by Brian De Palma) is the director's dumbest film--which is saying something--it has its compensations. Prime among them is the director's film sense, which is entirely separate from the story on screen. De Palma knows where to put the camera and when to move it. He uses slow motion and sound (or the lack thereof) to impart a sleek maximalist commercial veneer to the film. He also knows how to be cruel to the audience, like he's in some parasocial BDSM relationship with them. The Fury is also a mini-summary of his career at that moment. It's a psychic thriller a la Carrie, a paranoia thriller like Sisters (complete with sinister experiments at shadowy institutes), and it's a conspiracy film that anticipates Blow Out. It even has that wonky sense of absurdist anti-establishment humor from his earliest films. Then it blows it all up in one of the biggest what the fuck climaxes in film.
The story follows intelligence operative Peter Sandza, whose son Robin is possessed of wild talents. When the film opens, Peter and Robin are relaxing on the beach in the middle east (the film doesn't specify a country, but it's probably Israel, which is neither here nor there). Waiting on the patio above the beach is Peter's colleague, Childress, who accompanies Robin away from the beach as a terrorist raid arrives in motorboats. A group of what appears to be Arabs opens up on the crowd with machine guns, and Robin watches in horror as his dad is apparently killed in an explosion. But he hasn't been killed. He's made it back to cover on shore where he witnesses Childress paying off some of the "Arabs." This is clearly a set-up so that whichever organization Childress aligns himself with can acquire Robin and his gifts. A year passes. We meet Gillian Bellaver, a Chicago teen who exhibits ESP. Raymond Dunwoody, a private eye in Peter's employ, has spotted her and he's convinced she can lead Peter to Robin. Unfortunately, Childress and his goons have been following Dunwoody, and Peter is flushed into the open. Peter leads them on a merry chase before ultimately losing them in the fog. Gillian herself is struggling. Her powers have a tendency to injure others. She tells one of her classmates that she doesn't blame her for being a bitch because she's pregnant and reading her mind causes her a nosebleed. Her mother consents to send her to the Paragon Institute where she can develop and learn to control her powers. The Paragon Institute is a front, though. It is aligned with Childress, who recruits promising psychics from their students. It's here where Gillian first senses Robin Sandza, who she sees in a vision when she grasps the arm of Dr. McKeever, the head of the institute. She sees Robin pushed out a window while being chased by the staff. It's McKeever who does the pushing. Peter has a spy in the institute, Nurse Hester, who tells him that Childress is planning to move Gillian. He convinces her to preempt this by springing Gillian herself, so Peter can use her to find Robin. This goes awry, but Gillian escapes. Together, they travel to Childress's secret compound, but when they get there, they find that Robin is very much changed from the boy Peter raised.
If you were looking for a film where Brian De Palma's style is on full display, you could do worse than The Fury. This is a film where he pulls out all of his stylistic tricks: split diopters, flash editing of single images, long slow motion action sequence where the score replaces diegetic sound, placing his characters inside memories or psychic visions. The long chase early in the film when Peter commandeers a car from a pair of off duty police cars demonstrates a keen sense of cinematic geography as De Palma moves his pieces around the board. De Palma is a grandmaster at this sort of thing. Moreover, this sequence turns delightfully abstract when it moves into a foggy construction site, where the cars themselves are denoted by the glow of headlights. This scene also features an early role for De Palma regular Dennis Franz as one of the cops. The filmmaking is grand. The cast is game, too. Charles Durning returns from Sisters to take up the role of reluctant villain McKeever, Amy Irving gets promoted from collateral damage to telekinetic heroine from Carrie, and Carrie Snodgrass plays yet another thankless role as Nurse Hester. Andrew Stevens is perhaps less good as Robin Sandza, who goes from average kid to demonic psychic murderer without much development. The scene where Robin murders some Arab tourists on an amusement ride has a casual racism to it even if the text of the movie suggests that he's traumatized by the terrorists at the beginning of the film. There's a sad commentary on the contagious nature of violence here waiting to be unlocked, but the movie isn't interested in it, not even at the very end when it recurs. The 800 lb. gorillas in the cast are Kirk Douglas and John Cassavetes. Douglas was clinging to his macho self image as a leading man well past that persona's expiration date and he attacks the part with perhaps too much gusto. This is almost as much a self-parody as what you find the next year in the even more embarrassing Saturn 3. Cassavetes understands the assignment, though. He's subtle in his villainy. He's not a barnstormer. He's often a presence in the negative space. It's a good portrait of a man corrupted by his role in the demimonde of espionage. He lets his posture do a lot of the work. I imagine that the actor took the role in order to finance Gloria, but that's fine. He doesn't phone it in. I honestly wonder what Cassavetes told De Palma about the resulting film, given that he once told Martin Scorsese (of Boxcar Bertha) that he had spent six months of his precious time on Earth making a piece of shit. He was blunt like that.
The film's technical expertise is in service to a story that's all over the place. The extended comedy play when Peter invades the apartment of Mother Knuckles and her family seems starkly out of place in a horror thriller, as do certain scenes of agency underlings bickering over walkie talkie when they're bored with their duties. That's fine, though. They give the film some flavor. What's not fine is the absolute stupidity of the film's climax. When Peter and Gillian make it to the compound where Robin is being held, they find him after he has murdered his handler/lover by levitating her off the ground and spinning her to death. Robin himself lurks in the ballroom where this occurs, levitating casually in the air, well off the reservation Childress intends for him. Childress relents on his enmity with Peter and sends Peter into the belly of the beast to try to talk Robin down. Robin tackles his father in a rage, perhaps thinking his dad has betrayed him or perhaps because he's just a raging psychopath at this point, and they tumble out onto the roof where Robin dangles over the edge. Peter holds on to him for dear life, but Robin is still raging and he tries to kill his dad, who lets him go. He plummets to his death, followed by distraught Peter who has no more reason to live. Let's be blunt about this: it is stupid as hell. Robin has the power of levitation, of flight even. And he falls to his death? Really? The film follows this with a weird thing with Peter's eyes glowing in tandem with Gillian's eyes. Is he communicating with her? Possessing her a la Scanners? Lending her his power? I have no idea. We see those eyes again when Gillian, after refusing to be gaslit by Childress, telekinetically destroys him by blowing him into bloody bits. Whose vengeance is this? I don't know. It's all a muddle. The image of Cassavetes exploding at the end of the film is indelible, though, and the filmmakers know it. It is both an anticipation of the famous exploding head in Scanners and inferior to it. They captured the gag with multiple cameras just to make sure and damned if they don't linger on it in pornographic fascination. The money-shot nature of the gag tends to undermine it, but it's what anyone remembers if they've seen the film, so what the hell, eh?
The lion's share of the blame for all of this has to be laid at the feet of screenwriter John Farris, adapting his own novel, but the director is not blameless. De Palma surely had the power to demand rewrites or to engage script doctors. But he didn't and this is the result. It's a bad movie with the polished sheen of a good one. De Palma is often described as a classic auteur, but auteurism only goes so far. The Fury is evidence that no amount of directorial style can rescue a truly awful screenplay. This is a lesson that De Palma should have learned on this film, but in this, he's like Charles Foster Kane confronting Boss Jim Gettys. Gettys warns Kane that "You're the greatest fool I've ever known, Kane. If it was anybody else, I'd say what's going to happen to you would be a lesson to you. Only you're going to need more than one lesson. And you're going to get more than one lesson." De Palma had more such lessons waiting in his future.
#19 The Cabinet of Dr Caligari ( 1920 )
One of the earliest serial killer films is this German Expressionist classic. A fairground attraction is a somnambulist who is in a permanent state of sleep, but during his sleepwalking phases can predict the future, which is usually the eminent death of an audience member who is brutally murdered soon after. A friend of one of the murder victims is the creepy somnambulist himself, directed by his handler, the even creepier Dr. Caligari.
#20 Gotham ( 1988 )
Well, most of my Batman films are together in the same box. I didn't expect to find anything in those films and was just moving them to see what was underneath and found two that qualify as horror. This movie I bought by mistake. Back when I was buying the Dark Knight trilogy, Amazon said "People who purchased this film also purchased this.." with the set of the Keaton/Schumacher films which I already owned, and Gotham. Wait, there was a film about Gotham City? Well, Tommy Lee Jones was on the box cover, so I wondered if this was one of them re-release on home video where they retitle the film to make it appear to be a sequel to something, perhaps Batman Forever? But no, this was released by MGM Home Video, and they wouldn't do something like that. The box cover appeared to be Gotham City-ish with a dark looking skyline of buildings behind Tommy Lee Jones and Virginia Madsen who looked so incredibly hot as she did in most of her 80s and 90s films. And it was only $5 new, so I added it to my order. It turned out to have nothing to do with Gotham City. But Virginia was nude in a bunch of scenes, so money well spent. I guess I kept it with the other Batman films because where else would I put it? Although, come to think of it, I may have had it on the shelf in my old place next to the other Batman films to trick friends into borrowing it.
My recollection of the film was that Tommy was a detective and Virginia was a ghost haunting him, so probably fell into the horror category. It sort of wasn't. Tommy plays a detective who is hired by a man who wants him to stop his wife from harassing him. When Tommy asks why he doesn't just divorce her, he tells him he can't, because she died in a drowning accident ten years earlier. At this point it seems as if this is going to be a ghost story. But then after Tommy tails his client for a few nights without any ghost showing up, he gets a phone call from the client saying his wife is across the street from him. This during broad daylight. Tommy shows up and is pointed to Virginia window shopping across the street. She doesn't appear to be a ghost, and is amused when Tommy approaches her to tell her that he has been hired by the man across the street who believes she is his wife's ghost. They both end up going on a date, and soon Tommy and Virginia are a couple. Okay, so if she is walking around in broad daylight and f#$king Tommy Lee Jones, then she can't be a ghost, right? The client tells Tommy he is still convinced she is haunting him, and then mentions he has jewels that were supposed to have been buried with her that he kept for himself, so tells Tommy to offer the jewels to her if she agrees never to haunt him again. At this point the film turns into a possible scam being pulled on Tommy involving the jewels which Virginia could be in on which I won't bother to recap because it is full of spoilers in a mystery film, and because I am a bit confused as to what exactly the scam was. However, at this point Tommy begins seeing Virginia doing a lot of spooky stuff, like lumping off the roof of a high-rise, but is nowhere to be seen when Tommy looks over the ledge. Or jumping off the deck of a boat and waving goodbye as she sinks into the river. Or showing up dead and naked in his refrigerator, or later nude and under water in his bathtub, only to suddenly open her eyes and mouth Tommy's name. It is never clear if Tommy is drunk or high each time one of these visions happen, or possibly going crazy, so it is only teased throughout the movie that Virginia really is a ghost. But Tommy seems spooked by the idea that he probably slept with a ghost. So this film may or not be a film noir with a hint of horror, and may or may not be a ghost story, or perhaps an attempted scam being pulled on Tommy that involves convincing him that Virginia is a ghost. But this is certainly a film that would fit in with Halloween.
#21
The Batman Vs Dracula ( 2005 )According to Wikipedia, this is a horror film. So as of my own rules of watching any horror movie I come across while going through my boxes of DVDs, this is next. The Batman was the least popular of the Batman animated series. A replacement for
Batman: The Animated Series and it's spinoffs which ceased production, it was made by a completely different studio which necessitated the redesign of every character, sometimes resulting in radical reimagining of some of the villains. Despite not being as popular as the previous Batman series, there was a decision to make direct to DVD movies based on the series, including this. Joker and Penguin escape from Arkham after learning of a possible treasure stashed in a mausoleum in a Gotham graveyard. As both race for treasure, The Batman goes after Joker, who ends up appearing to fall to his death in the Gotham River. While this is going on, Penguin breaks into the mausoleum and opens the coffin inside, cutting his hand in the process and dripping his blood on the dead body. This revives the body, which turns out to be Dracula. Because, yeah, makes perfect sense that after Dracula was killed by Von Helsing in Europe, they decided to move his body to Gotham City in the United States, and build him an expensive mausoleum. Dracula turns Penguin into his new Renfield, then begins biting other Gotham City to turn them into his vampire army. Upon learning of The Batman, he becomes agitated, because
he should be the only one called Batman, because of the transforming into a bat thing. He vows to face off against The Batman. Meanwhile, while investigating the disappearance of citizens of Gotham, The Batman discovers they were all turned into vampires, and deduces that the new socialite who just moved into town, Dr. Alucard, is really Count Dracula. To add to his problems, Dracula had been spotted biting some of the citizens before they went missing, and the witnesses thought he was Batman. Because Batman and Dracula look like twins. You know that old theme song from their sitcom:
QuoteBatman likes beating up crooks,
solving crimes and throwing bat hooks.
But Dracula loves Rock n Roll,
sucking blood and mind control.
What a crazy pair.
They are Batmen,
Identical Batmen all the way.
One pair of matching bookends
as different as night and day.
No wonder Batman was mistaken for Dracula. So the police want to arrest The Batman, and send an entire task force after him. Meanwhile, Joker returns live and well. Which is a complete shock, because when else has the Joker appeared to have died, and after no body was found, returns without a scratch? Joker is immediately turned into another of Dracula's Renfields, because that's what Dracula wants as his personal assistant, a crazy guy dressed up as a Rastafarian clown. Basically Joker barely does any of his Joker pranks and adds so little to the plot that there was no point having him in this movie other than to boost DVD sales. Sure Batman uses him to make a cure to vampirism, but Batman could have used any other one of the vampires as his guineapig. The movie eventually leads up to a climatic battle between Batman and Dracula where Batman's "No killing" edict is completely forgotten. Penguin ends up blamed for kidnapping everyone turned into vampires and Batman is cleared. That is how ridiculous this movie is. Which is why it is so fun to watch.
#22 Embrace of the Vampire ( 1995 )
Why do I even have this film? Blame the short lived Howard Stern message board on his website. There was a thread called Hot Women Only which true to it's name had sexy pictures of female celebrities and website models. The thread you always ended up on after you finished reading and commenting on the other threads, and still had some time to kill. Aside from pictures, there were also links to YouTube videos of isolated erotic scenes from movies, such as Phoebe Cates pool scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, as well as scenes from obscure B movies. There was a link titled Alyssa Milano Grows Up which got the most comments of any link on how hot she was. Yes, she was famous for being Tony Danza's preteen daughter in Who's The Boss?, but was by then in her late 20s and had been in Charmed and a few other television series since then. Well, with a page full of comments, how could I not click the link. Milano had never been an actress I found particularly attractive. With the likes of Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson on television, who cared about an actress who was just cute? But the clip changed my mind. The clip title was Alyssa Milano Lesbian Scene from Embrace of the Vampire, which shortly after was among YouTube's first clips to go viral. ( Sadly, the copyright police seem to have taken it down since then. ) Alyssa is being photographed by a female photographer who keeps adjusting her clothes, then begins undressing her exposing her breasts, then the two begin making out. A few years later I am in Dollar Tree still buying cheap bargain crap because the financial crash knocked me down to pauper of which I was still recovering from, and began thumbing through there selection of $1 DVDs, most of which were those so called bargain sets with five films on one disc, all of which were Westerns or Rom-coms or films about pets you never heard of before. And a few overstock videos of movies you had heard of. And mixed in the bin was a lot of copies of Embrace of the Vampire. "Oh, it's that film with the lesbian scene." I thought to myself, and for only a dollar, why not? Would nor be the first movie I bought purely for a sexy scene, and perhaps not the last.
I have only watched this thing twice since buying it, and that would have been once had I not found it while digging through my DVDs for this challenge. Clearly as incredible as that lesbian scene was, it wasn't worth sitting through this film. The movie starts with the lamest emo vampire ever. Lamer than Count Chocula. Lamer than the Count from Sesame Street. Lamer than Gilligan in that episode where Gilligan thinks he is a vampire. Just the most unthreatening vampire ever. We find out he has just a few days left to marry the reincarnation of his wife who died hundreds of years ago, or he will die. That reincarnation is Alyssa Milano, who despite having a boyfriend she says she loves, discovers she is a lesbian upon going to college. And that plot is the majority of the film, which every now and then cuts back to emo vampire just to remind us that this is supposed to be a vampire film. As the film nears it's end, and you are beginning to think they took an already shot lesbian movie and edited in new scenes with a vampire that have nothing to do with the rest of the movie, emo finally enacts his plan to win over Alyssa and turn her into a vampire, which is not very well thought out and fails. If it is a weak retread of the Dracula story, but without Dracula and sidetracked by a coming of age lesbian plot, then this is the movie for you. Otherwise, just fast forward to the lesbian scene and forget the rest.
#23 Britghtburn ( 2019 )
I have collected nearly every superhero film released on DVD and Blu-ray, and there are many which would qualify as horror. Yet so far this is the only one I have come across, which is a bit of a surprise. I know I have the Hellboy, Blade and Ghost Rider films, along with Jonah Hex, Constantine, Morbius and perhaps some others that cross into the horror genre. Brightburn is about a couple who adopt a kid sent to Earth in a rocket, just as with the Superman origin. And the kid develops powers, just like Clark Kent did. Except this kid is deranged, and uses his powers to go on a killing spree. Basically what would happen if Superman turned into Jason and began killing off the Kents.
#24 The Grudge ( U.S. Remake ) ( 2004 )
The basic premise: in Japan a husband suspected his wife was having an affair and murdered her, his son and their cat. His wife's ghost in turn killed him. From that day on their house was cursed, and anyone who entered it would soon be hunted down and killed by the ghosts of the dead family. I was gifted this film and it's sequel by a friend who loved the original Japanese version, but for some reason gave me the English language remake because he thought I would not watch a subtitled film. What? I had Zatoich films going back to the 80s on VHS, all subtitled. At least a third of the films in my library are subtitled with no English dub track. He was so enthusiastic about sharing one of his favorite Japanese films with me that he gifted me the watered down American version? This was the first time I had watched this since then. And the entire time I kept thinking that scenes were missing, as if it was an edited version. I began to realize those scenes were from The Grudge 2. Both films were once together. But someone borrowed this DVD then put it back in a different box, and the sequel film is not with it. Perhaps it will turn up later this week. But I am beginning to think the sequel was the better one. This is your standard creepy Japanese ghost film with a female ghost who drags off whoever is cursed.
Again, been updating this regularly elsewhere, but I keep kicking myself for how long it is taking me to come back here. I did find it funny that Food of the Gods was watched; I was hoping it was the same day, but no, two days apart.
To quote Spaceballs, "The short, short version."
13: The Thing from Another World (1951)
Famous TV Sheriff plays giant vegetable and tries to destroy an the Arctic base that awakened him. I still prefer the Carpenter version, but this is still a very solid film all around, with technical moments that were great for the time and still look good today (shrinking effect aside). Possibly the last film made where the scientist clamoring for peace is considering a rambling idiot...and the military is right to ignore his advice.
14: Food of the Gods (1976)
Bert I. Gordon once again shows the world he loves giant things with this tale of giant nature run amok. I suppose the split screen effects hold up OK, but the whole thing is a bit silly. Surprisingly gore for a PG film, but then, PG meant something different back then. Another movie where I hadn't seen the original, but did see the sequel, and found the sequel to be genuinely more entertaining (it's still stupid, but it's a joyful stupid).
15: Demonoid (1981)
Has nothing to do with demons from space; it is about a posssessed hand that wreaks havoc to those who awakened it. It's got a scuzzy late 70s charm, despite being released in the wrong decade, but it's surprisingly forgettable. Until I saw the name again, I had put it out of my mind. Does have a great moment in which one of the possessed is pulled out his own grave so the hand can find a new host, even though he's clearly beyond any mortal help.
16: Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
Based on the PC game and franchise. Peta has left the Hunger Games and hit the skids, getting a job as a security guard in what is clearly a nightmare factory of an old pizza fun center. Mayhem ensues as it becomes clear he has a connection to the creepiness going on around the place. Not bad, and I'd probably like it better if I played the games, and the animatronics are fabulous, but it seems like it stretched a lot to fit a proper plot in outside of the robots.
17: Hell Hounds (2024)
Werewolf biker and bounty hunter seek a villainous former biker pledge, while a werewolf queen makes a bid for a new lover. Three stories happen at once, with the biker and the bounty hunter being the most memorable, and they know the monster suit sucks (but not as bad as The Hunting's was), but...ugh. Another werewolf movie where not a whole lot happens. Plus it looks cheap.
18: The Night Shift (2021)
Korean horror that turned out to be an anthology collection about a cartoonist who tries to find inspiration by visiting the most haunted apartment complex he can find. It turns out to be a bad idea.
There are two segments that are great, involving the story of a pharmacist and a friend moving in with his roommate in a horrifically moldy apartment. The hauntings are explained, but inconsistent; there's no rhyme or reason why the ghosts act so differently in the different stories. Still, one of the better ones I've seen overall this month. Might not be saying much.
19: Tales from the Crypt (1972)
The classic adaptation of the EC Comics by famed British studio Amicus. A little more slow moving (or, technically, more British) than the TV series would be, but like Food of the Gods, is pretty gruesome for a PG film. Has several very iconic moments, though, and those still hold up well, even though it is more dated than I remember it being.
20: Ghost Story (1981)
A society of elderly storytellers start getting concerned about a real life haunting when a past event comes back to haunt them. The movie itself is decent, but the scene at the beginning that kicks off most of the action has one of the silliest death scenes I've ever seen, and the special effects are so poor I almost stopped watching the movie (then, later, I rewound the death a few more times and laughed myself stupid). The ghost in it, though, has otherwise great makeup, but at almost two hours, it's quite a slow burn. Also, Fred Astaire was in a lot of weird movies before his passing.
21: Alien: Covenant (2017)
A less compelling crew of actors re-enacts the original Alien almost scene for scene. The movie looks good, but I came out of this less feeling like I watched a bad movie and more disappointed that, I think, Ridley Scott really wanted to make a very different movie. I think he felt he had to go back to xenomorphs when he would rather have explored the world of the Space Jockeys, but nobody was along for that ride. So, we get a flashier, more effects-filled Alien redux. Fassbender is good, but that's because he's the only thing compelling and different about the whole experience.
22: Scared to Death (1980)
A spinal fluid-sucking monster terrorizes a town, and it's up to a detective and his small group of acquaintances to deal with it.
This movie should really suck and suck hard...but you know what? It's the first film of William Malone, who would go onto a slightly respectable career, and it's genuine proof that even if you don't have a high budget, you can still use cleverness to make a movie work. The monster suit is clearly a labor of love, and even though most of the sets are filmed in a house (likely Malone's or a relative's), you don't get the sense of cheapness you get from something like Hell Hounds or Beast. Plus, the detective has some great lines, and his character is surprisingly charming. The fact that his first date ends in sex, though, is the most unbelievable part of the movie.
23: Skeleton Man (2004)
Michael Rooker and Casper van Dien, plus some very poorly dressed fellow military personnel, fight the Spirit Halloween mascot, who is apparently an ancient Iroquois warrior spirit who thought this cheap costume would make him scarier. It's pretty dumb, but damn, Skeleton Man can really rack up the kills with great skill. He doesn't screw around; he wants you dead, he gets the job done. Also notable for the scene in which a man is very insistent asking for beans.
24: The Hideous Sun Demon w/ Rifftrax (1958)
Man gets bad sun-based skin disease that makes him turn into a primordial lizard man. This makes his date to the beach awkward.
Great Rifftrax. Don't know how I haven't watched this before, but the movie itself? The condition doesn't make him a monster except in looks; he clearly only gets enraged and attacks when somebody tries to kill or attack him, and he tries to flee all other times. But, I guess back in the 50s, if you looked like a monster and kill in self-defense, you've basically ensured you're tumbling over a railing to your doom at some point.
#25 The Craft ( 1996 )
Four high-school outcasts dabble in witchcraft to take revenge against those who bullied them. Then things turn dark. Nice premise, but I always thought the casting for this film was way off. The actresses who are supposedly the bullied high school geeks were too attractive for that to be believable. Aside from that, and a lot of bad MTV style editing during transitions, The Craft is one of the great guilty pleasure films of the 90s. One I forgot I owned, but was glad to have dug out of my collection for this challenge.
#26 Man-Thing ( 2005 )
Why? Someone went through a lot of trouble to secure the rights to Marvel Comics Man-Thing, an then proceeded to make a movie that uses absolutely nothing from the source comic. Marvel's Man-Thing comics were the doppelganger of D.C.s Swamp-Thing comics. Both were about scientists with labs in swamps who are attacked and mortally wounded by thugs trying to steal the secret formula they were working on. Both inject themselves with the formula in order to save themselves, and both fall into the swamp as the formula transforms them, turning them into mucky plant creatures. Both comic books debuted at the same time with Marvel and D.C. accusing each other of stealing each other's ideas. It should be noted that one of the Marvel staff developing Man-Thing and one of the D.C. staff working on Swamp-Thing were roommates at the time, so speculation was that one leaked the idea to the other. Neither sued, because both were basically ripping off a story that appeared in one of the E.C. Comics horror anthology titles. This movie is nothing like any of those comics. Instead, it is about a vengeful swamp spirit that takes the form of a plant creature that goes around killing everyone who wanders into the Swamp. Doesn't look like Man-Thing, doesn't act like Man-Thing, has none of the supporting characters from the comic books, none of the villains. What's the point? It's like as if some studio got the rights to Batman, then turned it into a movie about a guy with pet bats. So basically Man-Thing is a monster movie with the standard plot of something killing people, then the heroes discover where the monster is and try to kill it.
#27 From Beyond ( 1986 )
Another one of those films I probably bought because of an erotic scene. Possibly because of a dominatrix scene with 80s scream queen Barbara Crampton. A scene I found very sexy when me and my friends rented the movie on VHS back around 1987. But watching it today am not as turned on as they have done more on an average episode of a CW series many times. This movie was made at a time when H. P. Lovecraft was a thing. It reunited most of the cast and crew from Reanimator from a few years earlier. Jeffrey Combs plays Crawford, the assistant of Dr. Pretorius, who comes running out screaming from the creepy house they were experimenting in, and when the police go inside to investigate, they find Pretorius' headless body. Charged with his murder, Crawford is sent to an asylum where his doctor ( Crampton ) thinks that maybe he is telling the truth about a machine called a resonator when turned on, opens a doorway to an alternate dimension. So the only logical thing to do is take Crawford on a field trip to Pretorius' house so the resonator can be fixed and turned on again. When it is turned on, creatures can be seen floating in the air, soon to be joined by Pretorius who's head merged with something in the other dimension turning him into a half Pretorius half monster that keeps getting gooier as the film progresses. Monster Pretorius tries to drag everyone into his dimension so they can merge with them, but Crawford shuts the resonator off, causing everything from the other dimension to disappear. At this point the smart thing to do is dismantle the resonator and smash every single component to bits. But when are characters in a horror movie ever smart. So it gets turned on again and again, each time bringing out Pretorius and more monsters, causing everyone in the house to go nuts, and causing Crawford to grow a worm like pineal gland out of his forehead. People are grotesquely killed, and slimy things are everywhere, all which I doubt was ever in the H. P. Lovecraft short story this was allegedly based on.
#28 Tentacles ( 1977 )
I found a couple of my Jaws rip off films. This one, an Italian American co-production, replaces the shark with a giant man eating octopus, and aside from being a Jaws rip off is best known for almost being John Wayne's final film. He had accepted and was cast in one of the lead roles, but then the producer decided he looked too old and sickly. It was the closest Wayne came to filming a movie after The Shootist. This movie is full of award winning actors who's characters are nor on screen much, and who all disappear by the third act. The Orcas that eventually fight the Octopus get more screen time. It is perhaps the dullest of the Jaws rip-offs. The sort of dull you get with Asylum films. The best way to summarize this film would be: "Oceanographer begs his trained Orcas to take revenge for him after an octopus eats his wife." ( BTW, this was on a double feature disc with Empire of the Ants, which I have determined is a Science Fiction film, so will not be watched tomorrow. Also, there were three more horror films beneath the double feature disc I want to see much more than a movie about giant ants turning Joan Collins into their slave. )
#29 The Car ( 1977 )
After Jaws became the most successful movie in motion picture history, there was a brief period when other studios tried to rip it off, which would subside two years later when Star Wars and Close Encounters of the Third Kind surpassed it, and studios began making sci/fi fantasy films instead. No one could be sure what the magic formula was that made Jaws a hit. Some simply made more killer shark films. Some tried other killer aquatic animals. Some felt any gory film with a predator, even a land mammal, was the formula. Since the shark in Jaws was huge, some studios surmised any movie with an oversized animal would be a hit, which is why Universal and Paramount went to court to fight over the rights to remake King Kong, which both studios were convinced would be the next Jaws. And then you got something as inventive as The Car, which replaced the ocean with roads, and the shark with a demon possessed car that goes around running pedestrians over. Someone did their homework on Spielberg and realized the similarities between Jaws and Duel. Killer truck, killer shark, why not killer car? The black car in question shows up for no reason and kills two bicyclists, then proceeds to pick off residents one by one before the sheriff realizes they are dealing with an indestructible demon car. Eventually the car begins killing residents in their own houses, beginning with the sheriff's girlfriend. Now it is personal, so they decide to lure it to a canyon full of dynamite and blow it up. This was the first film to attempt to emulate Spielberg's style, and the result was a dumb yet entertaining killer car movie. Just when you thought it was safe to cross the street.
#30 Train To Busan ( 2016 )
I am ending this challenge with two of my favorite Asian zombie films. Train To Busan one ups every zombie film that ever existed. In Seoul, a zombie plague breaks out due to the leak of a mysterious substance a bio company had been developing. Once bitten by a zombie, the victim is converted into a zombie within the hour, sometimes within minutes. These aren't the lumbering zombies from most films, but highly energetic rabid zombie that will run after you. Soon most of Seoul has become a rabid army of zombies with the survivors fighting for their lives. Meanwhile, a train departs from a depot for Busan with passengers and crew not aware of what is going on yet, and believing what they are seeing in the news is just riots. An infected victim of a zombie had jumped onto the train just before it disembarked, and soon most of the cars are infected with the surviving passengers trying to keep the zombie hoard out of their car, and unable to stop as the plague has already spread to cities across the Korean peninsula. This is among my favorite films of the past 20 years, and I have to admit, I sort of knew which box it was in and as the month grew short, began purposefully digging into that box. I had to disqualify an ant film, but I am glad to have watched this one again.
#31 Train To Busan Presents: Peninsula ( 2020 )
Well, did it! This is the 31st film, only interrupted a dozen times by trick or treaters. But I managed to watch 31 Horror films in 31 days. I had a lot more horror genre films in my library I had hoped I would find. Silent films like Hunchback of Notre Dame, superhero films like Ghost Rider, most of the Scream franchise, Poltergeist, Gremlins, Arachnophobia and others produced by Spielberg. The Granada version of Hound of the Baskerville, and a whole lot of other Asian horror films. None of those were found. My library is scattered in many boxes stuffed with hundreds of discs, and any film can be anywhere. I knew where all the Abbott & Costello films were. Universal put them in a sizable box shaped like a luggage trunk for God knows what reason, so is kept with the other oversized collector box sets. I decided to make this more of a challenge. So just the one Abbott & Costello film I had on Laserdisc. Gave me more of a variety of film than a bunch of A&C films in a row, and did away with having to debate if Hold That Ghost, Time of Their Lives or Abbott & Costello meet the Killer, Borris Karloff count as horror. There are many who criticize Train To Busan Presents: Peninsula for being too much of an action movie and not enough of a zombie movie. But I like it. A sort of mash up of Escape From New York, Road Warrior and a zombie movie. Perhaps this movie has more thrills than chills, but I am getting my full fill of horror from those non stop political commercials that make every single candidate in every contest out to be the most dangerous monster ever. So, either vote for one candidate and end up in a dystopian dictatorship, or the other candidate and hordes of migrants will kill us all, eat our pets, then steal our jobs. Dracula and Jason are looking tame in comparison.
And done. I'm actually surprised that this year that I only watched one riffed movie (though I have had Rifftrax on while doing other things, only one did I sit down and watch for the month), and this may be the only year I didn't have to make up a day at all. I don't know how that worked out, as this is probably one of the busiest years outside of this, but somehow I did it.
25: 13 Secrets (2016)
A young girl with the ability to see ghosts gives a ghost hunter show its greatest ratings...but will they go too far?
The movie itself is middling, with a somewhat cheesy finale that (to its credit, since not too many do) tries to tack a happy(ish) ending on, but...oh, my. The dubbing. There must be a version in the original Thai under its original name of Bangkok 13 somewhere (I was unable to find a copy), and if you want to watch this, watch it with the original language and subtitles. The dub is bad. Not even funny bad, just...flat, and everybody from a twenty-something guy to a near retirement guy they keep calling 'Uncle' are all voiced by the same smarmy person. This might be the single worst dubbing job I've ever heard in a film...I'm not joking on this. It really does make the movie less appealing.
26: Lone Wolf (1988)
A bunch of college students are being attacked by a werewolf, and they have to figure out who it is before they become the prime suspects in the killings.
A bit more character development in this than you might think for a low grade B-film, since most of the cast has to live until the end to keep the mystery going (though about twenty minutes in, when they started focusing on certain characters, I suddenly realized who would be the villain...and was proven right). Kind of sad that the spoiler tag no longer exists, since I would have used it here. But for MST3K fans, this is a MUST see...the owner of the nightclub of the movie, in his first role as a bit part? SAM THE GROUNDSKEEPER FROM WEREWOLF! "Weird things a'doin, around here..." Sadly, he does not say those lines, but it's wonderful to see him in something else.
27: The Lair of the White Worm (1988)
Doctor Who digs up a skull, revealing that an ancient snake god was worshipped millennia ago. The priestess who keeps the tradition alive tries to sacrifice everyone she can, but Hugh Grant is there foil her plans and to be a rich aristocrat when that was the part he was required to play in movies.
If you've never seen a Ken Russell movie before...well, this is probably one of his most normal films. And considering what the priestess straps on, that's like saying this green M&M has slightly less chocolate in it than this brown M&M. It's decent, and has a few memorable moments, but I did expect a movie of its reputation to have more to it. It's watchable, but I have other 'cult classics' I would watch more often.
28: Nosferatu (1979)
Werner Herzog directs Klaus Kinski and the guy who played Hitler in the Downfall movie (and memes) in this remake of the silent film. People occasionally talk in Herzog-style monologues.
This is not a movie for everybody, since it is very 'arthouse' at its foundation, but...I liked this movie. I really liked it. I agree with Roger Ebert that it's not 'scary,' and it's slow as molasses, but it's a beautiful movie to look at. I mentioned in my Substack review of it that it's not like a dream, but a fugue state, as the movie wanders in a daze to its next plot point, and suddenly it gains focus, and then drifts off again. But, there's slow with a purpose, and there's slow because you have no budget and no story. This is the former, and it's probably the best movie I watched all month. But I mentioned the guy who played Hitler (a Swiss actor named Bruno Ganz)...he's since died, but he is a really good actor. He's in that movie whose name escapes me at the moment where Liam Neeson runs around saying, "I AM Doctor MARTIN HARRIS!" and he's the single best part of that film. Heck, he seems like he's actually been spliced in from a better film for most of his scenes.
29: Night Vision (1987)
A writer from Kansas goes to Denver to hit it big...but runs afoul of a cursed TV, a cult who wants it back, the low-rent thief who caused the trouble in the first place, and the gal at the video store who finds herself falling for him.
This movie didn't have much of a chance following Nosferatu, but then, I didn't expect anything to. It's a cheap little film, but I found it charming in its own way. The romance feels realistic, but at the same time, it also sucks up three-quarters of the plot, and the ending feels like it was rushed into because they just didn't have time or money to do the cult stuff the way they wanted to. It just hit me a lucky time, because most days I probably wouldn't have cared for it, but it felt like giving it a hard time would be like kicking a puppy; it's earnest and trying, even if a little mangy around the edges.
30: 13 Ghosts (1960)
Family on the skids are informed a dead uncle has a house that they can afford to live in. Catch is, it's haunted, because said uncle caught ghosts for a living. The ghosts, though, are no match for the human element that is after said uncle's hidden fortune.
This really feels like House on Haunted Hill, family friendly edition. Nobody and nothing is in any real peril until the third quarter of the movie, and even so, the ghosts don't really do a whole lot except wander around in the best superimposed technology available at the time. Shame the gimmick with the Technicolor blue background and red ghosts are desaturated into black and white on this release; even if it didn't work right, it still would have been nice to see it. Charming 60s Castle flick, but I still think I like Haunted Hill better.
31: It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and Garfield's Halloween (1966/1985)
Not really going to get into these too deeply, because if you haven't seen them, you should. The kids have never seen Garfield before, though, and it was a treat to watch it with them. Still waiting to see which of them is going to be the one who loves horror the most, in the end.
I know it was a quiet year this year, but I have been reading the reviews...I hope everybody had a good time, good and bad movies alike!
Quote from: Charles Castle on October 20, 2024, 12:19:57 AM
Unfortunately I just have not had the time to view or write much this year at all, so I will leave a stake here and try to get back with as much as I can.
1. The Boogeyman (2023)
2. Brightburn (2019)
3. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice (2024)
4. The Fury (1978)
5. Jennifer's Body (2009)
6. The Amityville Horror (2005)
7. The Conference (2023)
8. Longlegs (2024)
9. Cold Blows the Wind (2024)
10. Megalopolis (2024) - The horror! The horror!
11. Pet Sematary (1989)
12. Salem's Lot (2024)
13. Haunted Mansion (2023)
14. Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
15. Woman of the Hour
16. Immaculate
17. Evil Dead 2
18. Blade
19. House of the Devil
20. Friday the 13th (2009)
21. Lovely, Dark, and Deep
22. Apartment 7a
23. Rosemary's Baby
24. Last Night in Soho
25. The Vourdalak
26. Panna a netvor/Beauty and the Beast (1978)
27. Good Manners
28. Lord of Illusions
29. Frankenstein (1931)
30. Candyman (1992)
31.Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
Some reviews to come, and maybe minor comments for the rest. That's twice as many as I have seen in one month this year. Maybe I should establish themes for every month to motivate my wife, who seemed almost to be in better health with the challenge as a goal.
I know I'm late on this, but for posterity...
I don't think more than five minutes had elapsed at the start of Immaculate (2024, directed by Michael Mohan) before I started thinking about the Magdalene laundries and residential schools. What goes on in the convent depicted in this film is not so far outside the actions of the actual Roman Catholic Church that the film can be dismissed as mere exploitation. Don't get me wrong, it IS exploitation, but that's beside the point. It has such theological and ideological axes to grind that it was bound to find Evangelical Christians and devout Catholics and right wing trolls of all sorts squawking when the film reached its end. This film hasn't got time for their bullshit. It has a particular shape of reality it wants to express and it uses bludgeons to present it. It's crude, but it's brutally effective.
The plot follows American novitiate Sister Cecilia traveling to the convent in Italy where she will take her vows. Cecilia has felt a deep religious calling since surviving a drowning in childhood during which she was "dead" for several minutes before being revived. She has been invited to the convent by Father Tadeschi, and in due course takes her vows. The convent is a hospice for nuns at the end of their lives. Cecilia feels a bit adrift at first, given that her Italian is poor. She befriends Sister Gwen, who speaks English. As she explores her new environs, she notices strange occurrences. Some of the nuns have crosses branded or scarred on the soles of their feet. The convent's private chapel is a reliquary in which, she discovers, is one of the nails used in the crucifiction. One night, she dreams of hooded figures gathered around her against which she has no ability to resist. Afterward, she finds that she has become pregnant, though her maidenhead is intact. The other nuns view this as a miracle, save for Sister Isabella, who attacks Cecilia and tries to drown her before throwing herself from the roof of the convent. The pregnancy goes poorly for Cecilia, and when she loses a tooth, she demands to be taken to a hospital. Father Tadeschi refuses. Meanwhile, the old nuns who are the convent's patients begin to view Cecilia with religious awe. Sister Gwen, however, takes a stand against her superiors, and pays a price for it. After faking a miscarriage fails to liberate her from the convent, Cecilia becomes resigned to her fate, especially after her own feet are branded to keep her from escaping. But she's got a plan. She bides her time until right before her labor. When she manages to escape her confinement, she discovers the true horror of what the Church has planned for her.
One right wing reaction to Immaculate holds that star Sydney Sweeney was shoved into this film because she was popular among conservative Christian men and that the film is intended to degrade her in the eyes of that audience and make them sad in their pants. I am sincerely skeptical of her alleged popularity among this demographic because have you actually seen Euphoria? I mean, really. Additionally, nobody shoved Sweeney into doing anything. She originally auditioned for the role a decade ago, never forgot it, and bought the rights herself to get it made. It's right there in the credits: Producer Sydney Sweeney. It is fair to say that the actress herself has an ideological interest in the film. The elephant in the room when listening to these kinds of critics is that this is a film about abortion and reproductive rights that is categorically opposed to the anti-choice right and to the Catholic Church and to Evangelical Christianity more generally, all of whom it views as anti-woman and anti-life. And because it was released by a small distributor--Neon has a history of releasing lefty content (they release films by Laura Poitras, for crying out loud)--it comes to the screen more or less unfiltered.
I don't typically like devil movies or possession movies all that much. They tend to act as propaganda for religion, for Christianity, and for the Catholic Church more specifically. This film acts in opposition to that impulse, and I think that it's about time that impulse was questioned. The Exorcist, after all, came after a decade of upheaval created by young people and its central thesis was that foul-mouthed young people were driving the world to hell in a handbasket almost literally and the only way to stop it was to coerce the acceptance of the authority and supernatural power of the Church. It paved the way for the politics of the Reagan era. Its effect still echoes in contemporary politics, so I welcome a countervailing narrative.
It doesn't take a detective to see this film as a reflection of the Dobbs ruling overturning Roe v. Wade by the Supreme Court of the United States in 2022. A woman who is forced to carry a baby not of her making by a patriarchal Church? Yeah. That's obvious. This film re-writes the end of Rosemary's Baby with the mother nipping things in the bud in the way that Rosemary Woodhouse should have done once she saw that her baby had "his father's eyes." Perhaps less obvious is a broader culture war being fought over religion and secularism. This is a film with overtly religious themes, but it is hostile to religion in a way that its contemporaneous fellow traveler, The First Omen, is not. In spite of its trappings, this is not a devil movie. This is a "God" movie, where the villains of the piece are trying to engineer The Second Coming. Even dressed up in horror movie trappings, this is nakedly opposed to the project by the religious right to bring about exactly the same thing in the real world outside the movie screen. The Evangelical project in Israel, for one example, is inspired by this very impulse. The Jews must remain in Israel/Palestine for Jesus to return in their framing of the end times. Immaculate is a film that both speaks to its moment in time and is of its moment in time.
The genre horror here functions in three other separate keys beyond the reproductive nightmare it presents. At the outset, it functions as a paranoia thriller, in which its central character doesn't know who to trust and who is blocked at every turn from saving herself by people she trusted. It also functions as a Christian version of a folk horror film. The scene where Sister Cecilia is dressed up as the Madonna and worshiped by the nuns who are in on the plot is of a piece with Florence Pugh's flowery get up in Midsommar. The ultimate plot, in which a priest who used to be a geneticist attempts to clone Jesus Christ from the blood remaining on one of the nails used in the crucifixion is the sort of thing Nigel Kneale might have written if he had had a taste for irreligious mockery. All of these strains weave together with the dominant narrative to create a bigger picture that is so much more horrible than any of these ideas alone. Each narrative twine leads to Sister Cecilia biting the umbilical cord that ties her to their plot, to the Church, and maybe to faith generally. She does this both figuratively and literally. The villains here would have done well to heed their own holy book, which says that no man knows the hour of the second coming, that it will come like a thief in the night.
I know plenty of people who question whether Sydney Sweeney is a good actor or not. I get that. She has a tendency to mush her words like a teenager and some viewers won't like that. But for this film, she's fine. She performs every emotion she's asked to perform. The final scene, when she finally gives birth and has a choice to make, asks her to go beyond where most actors will usually go. She's up to the challenge and performs it with a convincing mix of pain and horror and rage. She absolutely nails the landing. The scene where she fakes a miscarriage as a means of escaping the convent also works because Sweeney is even up to acting that she's acting, which is not an easy thing. Moreover, the rest of the cast has few native English speakers, so they throw Sweeney into stark contrast. She's on her own in this movie and she holds the camera.
I will mention yet again that I am a seriously lapsed Catholic. The Church has done so much evil in the world, from preventing Catholics from using condoms in the Global South in the face of HIV to the Magdalene Laundries and residential schools I've already mentioned to sex abuse scandals without number to financial shenanigans through the Vatican Bank to its complicity with fascism during World War II to its role as the handmaiden of Colonialism and so on and so on, that it's impossible for me to recognize it as a moral authority on anything. It's certainly impossible for me to recognize any moral authority on matters of bodily autonomy. This is an institution that used to castrate young boys to preserve their voices for singing in the Church's choirs, after all. Seriously, the last castrati died in the 20th Century, so it's NOT a medieval practice. The gall it takes to tell someone what they can and can't do with their own bodies after that boggles the mind. It's safe to say that I'm a key member of the demographic for any film that questions - or obliterates - the Church's moral authority. This one hits that itch just so.
Blade (1998, directed by Stephen Norrington) didn't seem like a landmark film at the time of its release, but time has been kind to it. It remains a shock that this film and this character were the first foundations laid in what has become the Marvel Entertainment empire. Blade never had a comic book of his own prior to the movie. He was a supporting character from the long-forgotten Tomb of Dracula series in the 1970s, and yet was the first Marvel Comics character to become a big screen success after previous attempts--famously Howard the Duck, less famously The Punisher and Captain America--crashed and burned in spectacular fashion. But more than that Blade ushered in both a cinematic idiom and design aesthetic that would spread like wildfire throughout cinema. The Matrix movies were the immediate inheritors of Blade's fetish-attired action look, but you can see it in the Underworld movies, too, and in the Resident Evil movies, and in countless vampire films and television shows littering the backwash in the film's resulting wake in the myth pool. Pick up any given "urban fantasy" romance novel these days and you'll see an echo of Blade's influence right there on the cover. Guaranteed.
Blade follows the exploits of the eponymous hero as he fights a secret war against the vampires that live among us. Blade has the advantages granted to him by an accident of his birth: his mother was in labor when she was bitten by a vampire, and Blade was born with all of the powers of a vampire, but without the weaknesses. He can walk around in sunlight, he is unaffected by silver and garlic. Although he feels the thirst for blood, he can control it with a serum that's made for him by his mentor, Whistler. The vampires call him "The Daywalker." Opposing Blade is Deacon Frost, an upstart vampire lord who is upsetting the ancient order of the vampire clans. Frost is a "turned" vampire, rather than a pure vampire who was born as one, and the heads of the vampire clans distrust and dislike him. He has power and followers, though, and he has made a mission of translating parts of the Book of Erebus--the vampire "Bible"--whose meaning has been lost for millennia. His long game is to summon the vampire god, La Magra, and lead the vampires in a cleansing war to supplant humans as the dominant species on Earth. Caught in the middle of all of this is Dr. Karen Jensen, who is unfortunate enough to be an attending physician when the vampire, Quinn, is brought into her hospital as a burn victim from a run-in with Blade. Quinn revives, of course, and bites Karen as he makes his escape. Blade rescues Karen as Quinn makes his escape, then takes her to his lair in order to treat her for her vampirism. Whistler thinks he should have killed her, but they're in time and prevent her from becoming a vampire. She has a useful skill, though: she's a hematologist, and Blade is building up a resistance to the serum that keeps the thirst at bay. Meanwhile, Frost completes his project, and discovers that Blade himself is the key to summoning the vampire god.
Blade exists at a cinematic nexus between the action movies of the Hong Kong new wave, the CGI special effects movie, the superhero movie, and the horror movie. Unlike many films that occupy so many cinematic idioms at once, Blade seems to arise naturally from all of them. It announces itself as a horror movie right off: comely vampire Traci Lords leads an unwitting dudebro into the depths of a meat packing plant where a secret door hides a rave. The assorted clubgoers seem disinterested in him until the sprinkler system douses the entire room with blood. Like the punks a generation earlier, Goth culture is associated with deviance and villainy, but given that the heroes of this film are Goth-styled badasses, that's okay. It has an even hand with such things. Blade's arrival on the scene is the kind of iconic framing that action stars crave but either never get or which wind up looking ridiculous when they come. Wesley Snipes, done up in black armor, black duster, and bearing a silvered katana, does not look ridiculous. He looks like he means business, and the film proceeds with its first action sequence with Blade chopping up vampires like they're so many extras in a samurai film. The interplay between Blade and Quinn in this scene suggests a much longer story without actually having to stop and provide exposition ("I'm getting a little tired of chopping you up. Thought I might try fire for a change."). The war has been going on for a long time. Other elements of the film play like scenes from the apocalypse, whether the grotesque vampire archivist or Dragonetti's unfortunate encounter with the rising sun.
This is a lean action film, edited with propulsive forward momentum and rarely stopping for very long. The scenes that examine vampire politics are as close to resting points as the film permits. It's edited with a surprising clarity of action. The geography of characters is usually clear, and scenes flow from one to the next with a purpose. Director Stephen Norrington comes to the director's chair from a career in special effects, which wouldn't suggest he's a skilled director of bodies in motion, but he's mostly good at it here (his subsequent career, however...). Norrington is a little too enamoured with digital effects, though, and when the film presents us with vampire disintegrations a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it begins to resemble a video game. When the film presents the god version of Deacon Frost, the special effects really let the film down (and did in 1998--this isn't just a matter of two decades plus worth of special effects advances). This doesn't hurt the movie as much as it could have, but it's a blemish on the film's otherwise sleek surfaces.
This film wouldn't work without Snipes. Snipes had been trying for years to get a Black Panther film off the ground, but wound up "settling" for Blade. He acted as a producer as well as a star and his investment in the role is visible in every scene he's in. Stephen Dorff, by contrast, seems like a frat boy playing at being a vampire, though this is of a piece, I think. Certainly, Frost earns all of the disdain Udo Kier's vampire chieftain feels toward him. Kris Kristofferson (RIP) is fine doing the crusty old man part as Whistler. He gets some of the film's best lines, and alone of the supporting cast members got invited back for the sequel. He's a good addition to the character's mythology. N'bushe Wright has rather more to do than most damsel/girlfriend characters, which is refreshing, but she's not co-equal with Blade himself. This is a one-man show.
In truth, I had mostly forgotten how much fun this film is in the wake of Guillermo Del Toro's sequel. This film is generally pretty good even if it doesn't have the visionary sensibilities of that second film. And Blade, not its sequel struck the spark. The conflagration is still burning.