Come up with the most ridiculous ones you can think of.
I play an exceptional game of Breastes Hold-em Poke-her.
After the torture scene, it would suprise me if 007 were to develop a certain type of fetish!
From then on, he will insist on being called:
Bondage, James Bondage.
"May I have...sexual intercourse with you?"
Dammit!
Oh! Looks like Basehart pulled a Kevin.
That wasn't a sexual innuendo.
Or was it...
Would you care to golden my gun?
I think Goldfinger topped anything I could think of:
"My name is Pussy Galore".
How about you defuse my doomsday device.
I think you will find my ejector seat quite operational.
Why don't you try reversing the polarity on my flux capacitor?
Want to see what happens when I put my 240V plug in your 120V socket? What's the matter, can't handle direct current?
Ridiculous enough for you? Ok, I will stop now before I need a cold shower.
Nice. That's what I wanna see. Now hop on it.
My favorite one of all time was on Win Ben Steins Money-
I'll hold her interest until the moment of Withdrawl.
The one in "Casino Royale" that always makes me chuckle is when Vespa tells Bond he can have her anywhere she wants.
"Did she just invite Bond to sodomize her?"
Would you like to tie me to a chair and pulverize my genitalia?
Sorry to go off in a different (but slightly related) direction.
But do you remember the outtakes at the end of Grumpy old Men?
Burgess Meredith, as Grandpa, is shown acting out different versions
of one scene (A245/84B or A246/84B). Presumably the nature of the
scene meant that the choice of which version to use had to be made
later.
Grandpa's lines were as follows.
Take 1: He's just seen Chuck enter the
home of Ariel.
Take 2: Looks like he's going to enter the holy of holies .. coitus
uninterruptus.
Take 5: Look's like Chuck's slipping her the old salami.
Take 7: Looks like Chuck's going to put the hotdog in the bun.
Take 13: Looks like Chuck's a tomcat on the prowl.. Meeeeoowwwwww
Take 13 (also): Looks like Chuck's taking the old log to the beaver
Take 14: Look's like Chuck's gonna bury his boner.
Take 10: Look's like Chuck's taking the skin boat to tuna town.
Take 16: Look's like Chuck's taking a ride on the wild balony pony.
Skin boat to tuna town.. :D :D
I've got something about kicking someone out of bed for eating crackers... but I don't think it's Bond related...
Wanna play the bone flute? It sings quite well with the right touch.
wanna eat some energy ballz?......
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I forget the sexual innuendo... but your mother's a whore.
How about I give your Casino a Royale treatment? >:D
WANNA BE UR LOVR
By Al Yankovic
I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph, no doubt
Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostrils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed
So I could see you twice
Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear
I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo
If I just cut off your arms
What I'm tryin' to say is...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love
Do you believe in love at fist sight
Or should I walk by again?
My love for you's like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in
Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise in the drier
You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet
Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love
I wanna be your Krakatoa
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too
I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Uh huh
I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?
There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"
To describe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"
My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face
Well, how'd you get through security?
'Cause baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my mom
Because I...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love
Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love
Excuse me... but does this TV come with a remote?
As far as I know, Lincoln's not president anymore!
The night before we started "going out," my future better half and I were out at a diner with friends. Noticing I had run out of my little cup of salad dressing she said, "You can dip your peppers in my ranch dressing." The rest is history.
I like this one from Run Ronnie Run:
My name is Terry and I'm from Hollywood. Ronnie, you are not like other men. You've got something, something special, and I want it badly. I want to be the man behind the man! I realize I'm coming all over you here, but it's been building up inside of me for weeks, and I can't control myself. Listen, sir, let me show what you've got inside of you, what could be inside of you if you'd just give me the tiniest hole of opportunity. We can go back to your place right now, and I'll pack your shit!
:D
Dear Lord...
Speaking of David Cross:
:D Another one that comes to mind is Lindsay saying "Maybe I can get a Wrench to strip my nuts..." :D
This is where all the big "TV"s come. ;)
Just too good.
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He's analraping me!
Quote from: AmazingThor on May 08, 2007, 07:29:15 AM
Just too good.
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He's analraping me!
It's not the pronunciation that scares me!
My favorite's a Bond line about hair color.
"I thought you were a blonde when I came in."
"Which do you prefer."
"Well, provided that the collars and the cuffs match..."