Well! That was..... Something.
I'm not entirely sure what I "learned" except that, apparently, creepily stalking a girl is a good way to get a first date?
That dating your surgeon isn't a violation of medical ethics?
You can become a leading experimental transplant surgeon in your mid-20s?
That one can never get enough driving and parking scenes?
We learned that Coleman Francis isn't the only one who can make a trilogy where all three movies are exactly the same. I mean holy cow these are exactly the same damned movie.
We learned that tramp stamps really just are your own name.
We learned that you can guilt a woman you barely know into dressing like your dead girlfriend. The dead girlfriend you dated for a week!
We learned that a detective can be far more effective than he has any frikken right to be and figure things out based on what clues? I mean there weren't even plot devices lying around for him.
We learned that a lot of miss the Amiga and Video Toaster. Mostly because it would have done far better CGI than whatever shareware he used here.
We learned that watching these movies out of order was probably not the best idea.
We learned that Larry King is a known aphrodisiac on the west coast. Side note - We learned that Mike Nelson believes that Charlie Rose is also hot.
We learned a lot more but I'll give up there because I'm afraid my kidneys can't process all of this and I might need a transplant from some company making illegal clones.
I learned why James Ngyeun didn't want to release this movie. It is God awful even by his standards.
I particularly liked the multiple times that audio on set got so bad that it was suddenly replaced by obvious voice overs halfway through a scene.
We learned that Nguyen got a lot of inspiration for this movie from 1990s FMV games.
We learned that the parakeet was miked better than the actors.
I know I'm not supposed to make questions here, but how do you get human "actors" to speak like a robots? Was that his actual instruction during rehearsals? Speak all lines like a machine?
Machines wouldn't flub, or outright forget, their lines.
I learned there's some guy you can call and order 50 million microchips.
And 50 million microchips only cost 100 million dollars that's WITHOUT a 50% discount!
WE AINT LEARNED SHIT!
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bhNQ9cv5K7Q/maxresdefault.jpg)
I kinda wonder if he made them read their lines exactly as written, or if he just tries to find actors who speak broken English.
I learned that you to build a cloning system in your basement all you need to do is order 50 million chips of some kind...
I did not learn how he got his own power plant(s) to supply the hundreds of megawatts of power needed to run 50 million chips of some kind, or other science facts involved with using 50 million chips.
Fifty Million! That's over a thousand Titan supercomputers....
I learned that a company can sell 50 million units of its best product, and still be nowhere close to selling enough.
I learned that a customer get get 100 million dollars worth of funding, and afford 50 million microchips without too much worry.
What are these microchips anyway? From the context of the number that Therapeutic Technologies bought, and the seller's apparently MASSIVE sales needs, I'm guessing that a single such microchip has roughly the cost and profit margin of a single paperclip.
I learned that the guys will force in some ham fisted comment about racism whenever they can, regardless of how little sense it makes.
I learned that you head on automotive collisions at very low speeds can be fatal.
I learned that James Nguyen characters love to use swimwear as undergarments.
That offscreen bird interjecting isn't a reason to retake a line.
That clone replica's get the soul back of the dead girlfriend as they die.