I've been a Turtles fan all of my life. I had a lot of fears as I watched over this movie's development especially with Michael Bay involved and even though he was only the producer it seemed like he very hands on and had a lot of influence on the directions it went in.
But, in the end, the movie left me... Satisfied. "Satisfied" in a "I just had a meal at Arby's" sort of way, but I left with my childhood more or less intact. I thought it was fine, plenty of flaws for sure and lots of things they could have done different (did the Turtles need to be seven feet tall?) and Megan Fox wasn't.... *too* bad as April O'Neil and really liked the use of Vernon. Still, I mostly left the movie satisfied and not annoyed.
But, enough of all of that! What did you learn?!
Quote from: Trekker4747 on February 27, 2015, 04:13:14 PM
I've been a Turtles fan all of my life. I had a lot of fears as I watched over this movie's development especially with Michael Bay involved and even though he was only the producer it seemed like he very hands on and had a lot of influence on the directions it went in.
But, in the end, the movie left me... Satisfied. "Satisfied" in a "I just had a meal at Arby's" sort of way, but I left with my childhood more or less intact. I thought it was fine, plenty of flaws for sure and lots of things they could have done different (did the Turtles need to be seven feet tall?) and Megan Fox wasn't.... *too* bad as April O'Neil and really liked the use of Vernon. Still, I mostly left the movie satisfied and not annoyed.
But, enough of all of that! What did you learn?!
I learned you have lower standards than I thought.
Just kidding. This is better than I thought.
I learned when an mp3 riff comes out, I better damn well buy it if I want to see another one.
I learned that Mike cares WAY more than he should about The Brady Bunch. As in, at all. No one should care about The Brady Bunch at all.
I learned that you can actually have Megan Fox jumping on a trampoline and not make it sexy.
I learned Michael Bay makes a better producer than he does a director. This movie actually wasn't all that bad. Easily better than the last three Transformers movies.
I learned that the Turtles either have an unspecified source of income, or they are world class thieves. Where are they getting all these computers, flat screen TVs, martial arts equipment and a WALL OF BOOMBOXES?!
New York sewers are cleaner than the streets of New York.
Humanoid rats have prehensile tails. Who knew? Credit where credit's due though, Splinter was pretty badass. I never would have guessed that was Tony Shaloub.
Rats have prehensile tails that can lift hundreds of pounds at that!
I learned that Manhattan borders Colorado.
Quote from: CJones on February 27, 2015, 05:44:27 PM
I learned that the Turtles either have an unspecified source of income, or they are world class thieves. Where are they getting all these computers, flat screen TVs, martial arts equipment and a WALL OF BOOMBOXES?!
Better question: Where did they get the MISSILE for the Turtle Van?
Quote from: ManUnderMask on February 27, 2015, 06:45:04 PM
Quote from: CJones on February 27, 2015, 05:44:27 PM
I learned that the Turtles either have an unspecified source of income, or they are world class thieves. Where are they getting all these computers, flat screen TVs, martial arts equipment and a WALL OF BOOMBOXES?!
Better question: Where did they get the MISSILE for the Turtle Van?
I'm sure Donnie worked something up.
I learned that wooden bo-staffs are able to flip Hummers.
Quote from: Darth Geek on February 27, 2015, 06:14:35 PM
I learned that Manhattan borders Colorado.
Kind of reminds me how everyone calls the dam level in the first NES Turtles game the "Hoover Dam." Yeah, that's in New York, right?
Quote from: Trekker4747 on February 27, 2015, 04:13:14 PM
I left with my childhood more or less intact.
Congratulations, that means you're not still in your childhood.
I learned it's good to hear that old Rifftrax intro song again.
Quote from: Rainbow Dash on February 28, 2015, 06:26:19 PM
I learned it's good to hear that old Rifftrax intro song again.
:P I can't stand that awful squeeling guitar riff. And to have it suddenly blare at you right when you start, just shocks the hell out of you.
I found I actually missed Coulton's intro song.
I learned about the little known explosive properties of steel girders.
Quote from: jonalame on March 01, 2015, 07:04:50 AM
I found I actually missed Coulton's intro song.
As apposed to the squealing guitar, I agree.
I learned the guys are pizza snobs.
I learned that making the eye candy the central live-action character of the movie is a really, really bad idea.
I learned never to brag about how fast I can reauthor a movie. It causes multiple Blue Screens of Death.
Quote from: Just-The-Trax on March 01, 2015, 08:40:57 AM
I learned the guys are pizza snobs.
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Pizza Hut ma not be great, but it's not bad by any stretch. And complaining about another brand of pizza as awful, when Little Ceaser's still exists, REALLY?!
Quote from: Darth Geek on March 01, 2015, 09:36:51 AM
Quote from: Just-The-Trax on March 01, 2015, 08:40:57 AM
I learned the guys are pizza snobs.
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Pizza Hut ma not be great, but it's not bad by any stretch. And complaining about another brand of pizza as awful, when Little Ceaser's still exists, REALLY?!
I used to look forward to Little Caesar's at school because it was an improvement over the school cafeteria pizza.
Quote from: Darth Geek on March 01, 2015, 09:36:51 AM
Quote from: Just-The-Trax on March 01, 2015, 08:40:57 AM
I learned the guys are pizza snobs.
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Pizza Hut ma not be great, but it's not bad by any stretch. And complaining about another brand of pizza as awful, when Little Ceaser's still exists, REALLY?!
Big "like."
My family couldn't afford "good" pizza, so we ate a whole lot of Little Sleezers back in the day. Pizza Hut is a five star restaurant by comparison.
Trailer Edition
Trying to work up the nerve to watch this dog of a turtle movie. So, I started with the trailer. I've already learned, that someone thinks having the female lead expose her fangs in every single scene is sexy. I simultaneously learned that this is going to be a long, painful ride, as one of the things that I really hate about modern blockbusters is the moronic concept that constantly exposed upper choppers is somehow sexy. There's nothing sexy about Cleetus.
Unless maybe I missed it, apparently they can go through this entire movie without a Gamera reference.
Just finished watching it, Darth. There is no Gamera reference, that I saw/heard. They did reference Puma Man. ;)
This movie was horrible. Nice riff, though.
Quote from: Darth Geek on March 01, 2015, 09:36:51 AM
Quote from: Just-The-Trax on March 01, 2015, 08:40:57 AM
I learned the guys are pizza snobs.
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Pizza Hut ma not be great, but it's not bad by any stretch. And complaining about another brand of pizza as awful, when Little Ceaser's still exists, REALLY?!
Little Ceasar's you give us $10 and we literally grab a pizza off this warmer shelf-back here and hand it to you. Now you can buy our pizza just like you do at the gas-station!
I learned that being a master-ninja isn't enough, you also need a giant samurai mech-suit with projectile blades that can (somehow) magnetically be reclaimed from a distance.
It's possible to fall several stories and land and not know it.
Turtles are sexually attracted to human females, they even get boners from human females.
Whoever redesigned the turtles' look might have played a lot of Fallout 3, because they resemble Teenage Fallout Super Mutants.
Having a character quote random probabilities of events to mark him as "the smart one" will never be a good trope.
The Serial podcast was way more popular than I thought.
Stocking your action movie cast with misused SNL talent sucks, but it's more tolerable than doing the same with Simpsons talent.
One of Eric Saks subsidiaries is probably named Saks Holdings, Inc.
Just finished it, really enjoyed the movie moreso than the riff which confirmed my issues with 'blockbuster riffs' enough to stick to VODs besides a few high points
I learned that the people at Rifftrax still know how to make MP3 commentaries.
I learned that Megan Fox learned way too much about acting from Shia LaBeouf.
Learned that Megan Fox must have had a lot of plastic surgery or something, because she looked COMPLETELY different in this film.
I learned that Tracy Morgan is a very versatile actor.
And sometimes physics takes the day off.