Is this Cougar Town?
Anytime they harped on Emmet for speaking.
"My life as a human is over..."
"One could argue it never began"
It's like a full-body mustache
Line...line...line...line...line...line...line...line...line...line...line...line...line...line...line...line...line...and line. I think I got the count right.
Meep-meep, meep-meep, meep-meep,..etc.
Spruce bark beetles! They're everywhere!
The thing about nicknaming the child after the Loch Ness Monster. That was a riff, right?
Sadly, that was in the book and the screenplay...
No. You're joking right. Yeah. You're joking. Nothing that stupid could possibly be in the book and script. I mean sure, the whole thing is stupid, but that HAD to be a riff. Oh God, you're not joking. Oh God, it was really in the book and script! Oh God... I mean... how? Why? What... that... I just?....
This scene tested really well among guys who sit at the front of the bus and talk to the driver.
Damnit Emmett stop saying lines!
Suddenly I can't move normally like I have been through the whole movie.
I wish your Mom could be here for this, but she doesn't exist anymore.
Also the whole part about how a woman won't ditch the baby 3 days after childbirth and have sex with you in your brand new free house.
I loved the riffs about how the vampires were carrying out this conversation at seemingly normal volume even though they were standing 40 feet apart for some reason.
Carlisle and the King Vampire leap at each other to attack..
"Hang on, I wanna see how this plays out."
"Touch her, you can feel her warmth."
"Not you, Jacob!"
"Aww, comeon!"
Every riff about how easy it is to raise a baby.
Every riff on pedophilia.
Every riff about mustaches and beer.
Every riff about that sickening digital child.
Cerebro?
"Half mortal, half immortal"
Mike: So she'll live like 50% of forever.
"This is how she communicates."
"With creepy silent staring? Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
He will return as "One of the wolves who isn't Jacob", the White.
Seriously, did any of the werewolves other than Jacob have any lines?
Not really... I think. What got me where the "sentimental moments" when a couple of the wolves died in the Action Scene ex Machnia of Bullshit. It's like... "Am I supposed to care? Do I know who exactly these wolves are?"
So, who the hell am I? Can you help me out?
*quick cut to Revolutionary War Guy*
"Uh... the Stamp Act!"
Lan!
As great a riff as this was, the funniest moment belongs to Michael Sheen. I don't think I need to tell you which one.
I trust it has a bed with a titanium frame so they can just pound each other day and night.
Did we mention she is named Renesme? THE CHILD MUST DIE!
"thank god for mustachesingles.com"
aaaaand someone actually did something with that address.
QuoteHe will return as "One of the wolves who isn't Jacob", the White.
Seriously, did any of the werewolves other than Jacob have any lines?
This werewolf, "Seth," was played by Booboo Stewart, whom they poked fun at during the opening credits. Only the back of the actor's head appears on-screen during the Christmas scene, and only for a few seconds.
Du heh, I'm a hunter.
I loved all the references to the stupid "bits of stone lubricated by venom" bullshit from the books.
And now ladies and gentlemen, the magestic, arbitrary vampire sparkle. Which works sometimes and not others.
Hey, we're vampires who choose to live in a bright sunny country.
"You gotta be fucking kidding me."
Great riff. One of their best.
Highlights:
Their reaction to Michael Sheen's laugh.
"Damn it Emmett, stop saying lines!"
"Super Harpo!"
"The fact that a werewolf is after our newborn just seems miles away right now, doesn't it?"
"Wow, slow down Breaking Dawn. The opening pace you're setting is just too quick!"
"Oh, go to hell....how do you know that?!"
"Harpo, thanks for showing up today. He's the participation trophy of the Twilight series."
"Wait, you're ****ing kidding me!"
"I'm imprinting on the concept of Jacob getting beat up."
"Hey, don't we have a kid?"
"Oh, they love each other? That hadn't been made clear to me over the course of the 8 hours of film leading up to this which consisted of nothing but these two IDIOTS sitting in a field of buttercups mumbling how much they love each other!!!!" (might be my favorite one)
Every Volturi imitation.
"Uh....the Stamp Act."
"She has returned with the answer to the ancient question of 'how Arizona is liking the rain, girl?'"
"Um....grrr."
"(with mock enthusiasm) Hey, did that guy fight in the Revolutionary War?!"
The extended line sequence.
"And they split the final battle scene into two movies."
"Who the hell am I?"
"He would return as One of the Wolves Who's Not Jacob the White"
"Spruce bark beetles! They're everywhere!"
"Shut up, Tom Petty."
"Did we mention she's named Reneesme? The child must die!"
"Well, still crave death and each breath is agony. See you back in Italy."
"I said goodbye like a big boy!"
"And a deep cut for super fans....the time their faces were two inches apart and Bella looked sad."
"P.S. we're going to reboot in 2016. No!!!!!!!!!!"
"We will see you back at Rifftrax.com for 50 Shades of Grey. No!!!!!!!!!"