I've only seen the original, and the final scene is one of the lamest attempts at terror I've ever seen. Our main character is trapped inside what is basically a flaming wicker hamper, and dies. Now, I think an 80 year old woman with the flu would be able to break out of a cage constructed of of crappy patio furniture. The guy doesn't even try. It reminds me of "Bent Foliage State Prison" from Quest of the Delta Knights. "Thanks for not breaking the sticks!"
Edited by torgosPizza to calm the seething masses.
The original is amazing. Don't blame the movie because you didn't get it.
Mind using a spoiler on there? You may not have liked the ending, but I'm with scott, I think it's a great film, and you kinda just ruined it for people who haven't seen it yet.
He didn't really try and break out of the Wicker, because where would he go? He was surrounded on an Island of people who hated him. And he deserved it, in my opinion.
The real horror was Christopher Lee singing and playing the piano.
A great movie....very bizaare. The ending really horrified me...in a good way. :clap:
Boy you guys sure are a lot of fun around here. ::)
I didnt care for the movie at all either.
I guess that is the great thing about boards with a diverse opinion on movies.
Quote from: Laziest Man on Mars on February 28, 2007, 06:36:01 AM
Boy you guys sure are a lot of fun around here. ::)
because we didn't agree with you?
He's a new guy, give him a break... sometimes I think we come off a little harsh because so many of us talk to each other all the time, and we're used to each other.
Quote from: BEERxTaco on February 28, 2007, 08:42:09 AM
He's a new guy, give him a break... sometimes I think we come off a little harsh because so many of us talk to each other all the time, and we're used to each other.
Oh yeah, shaddup! :D
Sorry, nothing personal. But I still feel a spoiler tag would be appropriate. His being new doesn't change the fact that his post ruins the end of the film.
Yes... I ruined the end of a 34 year old movie.
Here's a few more spoilers...
"Rosebud" was his bike.
Jack Nicholson and the Chief start a kickball league.
Cewbacca's his father.
The ship flies through the air at the end.
Frodo pawns the ring.
The guy from "Stargate" that plays a woman turns out to be the guy from "Enemy Mine"
It's not like I ruined the end of The Departed (which is, by the way, everyone goes out for ice cream and candy at the end... sorry).
And by "You guys sure are a lot of fun" I meant I just make a silly post about a movie, and immediately get my balls broken for "not getting" a movie I didn't like. Then I'm accused of spoiling a movie that's been out for almost 40 years. Sheesh.
Quote from: Laziest Man on Mars on February 28, 2007, 10:47:36 AM
Jack Nicholson and the Chief start a kickball league.
What?! Damn you sir, damn you to hell. At least the hell that has nothing but Uwe Boll movies playing on all the cineplexes.
It's old, but no one's heard of it, and not many people have seen it. How the movie ends isn't obvious either, and is important to the film. And you make no attempt to warn people that it might be ruined for them. It's not their fault that they didn't see the film yet. Just because a movie is old does not mean a person has watched it. No one's breaking your balls. One person disagreed with you, and I politely asked you to put it in a spoiler tag.
There are people who agreed with you, and there are people who disagreed with you. You made a harsh post about a cult classic. What did you expect? I'm not saying you shouldn't have made the post, but when stating your opinion there's always going to be some one who disagrees with you. You also put the title of the thread in the form of a question, inviting people to voice their own opinions. And that's what happened.
EDIT: I didn't notice the spoiler warning you put in the title. Good enough for me. Thanks.
Quote from: Laziest Man on Mars on February 27, 2007, 07:56:29 PM
I've only seen the original, and the final scene is one of the lamest attempts at terror I've ever seen. Our main character is trapped inside what is basically a flaming wicker hamper, and dies. Now, I think an 80 year old woman with the flu would be able to break out of a cage constructed of of crappy patio furniture. The guy doesn't even try. It reminds me of "Bent Foliage State Prison" from Quest of the Delta Knights. "Thanks for not breaking the sticks!"
What the heck, I'll take question seriously and see how it goes...
yes, the original Wicker Man is horror.
Spoilers follow:
To begin with, the main character is a policeman investigating the disappearance of a young girl. You don't normally expect policemen to get killed, especially not in British films. I think the definition of horror is 'everything is NOT going to be all right', making it the polar opposite of romantic comedies. The whole film has a feeling of things not being quite right. The policeman and his mission and his view of how society and 'decent people' should behave is constantly subverted. The policeman is mocked and deceived and finally entrapped and killed.
The fact that he DOESN'T break free and beat the bad guys and so forth is what makes it horror. An innocent man, a deacon in his church, a defender of the innocent is sacrificed, burned alive by a pagan cult in a futile attempt to restore fertility to the island (my opinion...the film doesn't address it).
It's lacking chainsaws and torture porn but, yeah, it's horror through and through.
The remake is a comedy...of the best kind, unintentional.
Quote from: Laziest Man on Mars on February 27, 2007, 07:56:29 PM
It reminds me of "Bent Foliage State Prison" from Quest of the Delta Knights. "Thanks for not breaking the sticks!"
One of my favorite moments BTW, thanks for reminding me of that! ;D
I can see your point Mark Andrew- I went to school at a cow college in Alabama for some time. There were plenty of moments I got creep-ed out being stuck in the middle of nowhere in a small, redneckian town. The Waffle house in Dothan Alabama at 6:00 in the morning? I'd rather Christopher Lee burn me to death - at least I could tell him how he sucked in "Police Academy - Mission to Moscow" before i was asphyxiated. The Wicker Man was creepy and moody I'll give you that... I suppose I was just disappointed at the end that the titular character turns out to be just a big flaming statue (not to be confused with the statue of Sir Elton John). I guess I was hoping it'd be a monster movie.
Quote from: Laziest Man on Mars on February 28, 2007, 10:47:36 AM
Yes... I ruined the end of a 34 year old movie.
Here's a few more spoilers...
"Rosebud" was his bike.
Jack Nicholson and the Chief start a kickball league.
Cewbacca's his father.
The ship flies through the air at the end.
Frodo pawns the ring.
The guy from "Stargate" that plays a woman turns out to be the guy from "Enemy Mine"
It's not like I ruined the end of The Departed (which is, by the way, everyone goes out for ice cream and candy at the end... sorry).
And by "You guys sure are a lot of fun" I meant I just make a silly post about a movie, and immediately get my balls broken for "not getting" a movie I didn't like. Then I'm accused of spoiling a movie that's been out for almost 40 years. Sheesh.
HAHAHAH! that's awesome.
Quote from: Laziest Man on Mars on February 28, 2007, 10:47:36 AM
Here's a few more spoilers...
"Rosebud" was his bike. Jack Nicholson and the Chief start a kickball league. Cewbacca's his father. The ship flies through the air at the end. Frodo pawns the ring. The guy from "Stargate" that plays a woman turns out to be the guy from "Enemy Mine"
You MONSTER! Now I have to throw away all of my Lord of the Stargate Wars Special Franchise Edition Gold DVDs!!!!
I don't know HOW you can live with yourself!!!
[/quote]
You MONSTER! Now I have to throw away all of my Lord of the Stargate Wars Special Franchise Edition Gold DVDs!!!!
I don't know HOW you can live with yourself!!!
[/quote]
I remember when the record companies put out albums on "24k Gold" CD's. What a racket... They just replaced the silvery foil with real 24k gold leaf. As If you would get better sound - Digital is Digital... it's either a 1 or a 0. They sold them for 5-10 dollars more than the regular, already overpriced, Cd's. When I hear about record companies hemorrhaging money these days it makes me smile.
QuoteI think the definition of horror is 'everything is NOT going to be all right', making it the polar opposite of romantic comedies.
I thought that was the definition of a tragedy, which is the polar opposite of a comedy.
Quote from: Laziest Man on Mars on February 28, 2007, 10:47:36 AM
Yes... I ruined the end of a 34 year old movie.
Here's a few more spoilers...
"Rosebud" was his bike.
Jack Nicholson and the Chief start a kickball league.
Cewbacca's his father.
The ship flies through the air at the end.
Frodo pawns the ring.
The guy from "Stargate" that plays a woman turns out to be the guy from "Enemy Mine"
It's not like I ruined the end of The Departed (which is, by the way, everyone goes out for ice cream and candy at the end... sorry).
I can't believe you did that. I honestly cannot believe you did that. I think I'm going to have to hole myself up in my room and cry now. You know, SOME of us never got around to seeing these classics! Congratulations, sir. You have officially made me more upset than the time when somebody told me that Jesus dies at the end of 'Passion of the Christ.' I hope you're happy.
i felt the same way when someone told me the ship sank at the end of titanic.
Quote from: sarcasm_made_Easy on March 01, 2007, 06:54:37 PM
QuoteI think the definition of horror is 'everything is NOT going to be all right', making it the polar opposite of romantic comedies.
I thought that was the definition of a tragedy, which is the polar opposite of a comedy.
This is true. At it's most basic level, comedy=happy ending tragedy=sad ending. Technically, if you have a horror movie, but it ends well for all parties involved (Which is rare, I'll admit) you have a horror comedy, even if there wasn't a single joke cracked.
This genre lesson has been brought to you by one too many writing classes! Forcing explanations out of young writers for hundreds of years. :^)
Quote from: wakkakumei on March 01, 2007, 07:06:29 PM
I can't believe you did that. I honestly cannot believe you did that. I think I'm going to have to hole myself up in my room and cry now. You know, SOME of us never got around to seeing these classics! Congratulations, sir. You have officially made me more upset than the time when somebody told me that Jesus dies at the end of 'Passion of the Christ.' I hope you're happy.
Wait, doesn't the big J come back in the end? Isn't that the whole point? I never saw it.
Quote from: Laziest Man on Mars on March 01, 2007, 09:42:26 PM
Wait, doesn't the big J come back in the end? Isn't that the whole point? I never saw it.
I didn't see it, either. Somebody told me that the guys who made Soylent Green got to him first.
Is the remake of Wicker Man as watered down as I imagine it being?
Quote from: sarcasm_made_Easy on March 01, 2007, 06:54:37 PM
QuoteI think the definition of horror is 'everything is NOT going to be all right', making it the polar opposite of romantic comedies.
I thought that was the definition of a tragedy, which is the polar opposite of a comedy.
You are living up to your name today my friend...booya
The Nick Cage version of The Wicker Man is horror, but only to those involved in its creation, for all the terrifying dreams of angry mobs out for blood after seeing this monstrosity.
I'll get the pitchforks. Who's bringing torches?
Because this movie used torches, torches are now dead to me...it's only zippos from now on...
Quote from: varietyofcells on February 28, 2007, 10:58:53 AMI didn't notice the spoiler warning you put in the title. Good enough for me. Thanks.
It's too late, though, since I already saw the thread
before the first poster edited "**spoilers**" into the title. Thanks a lot, jackass. I was planning on watching this before I saw your thread. Asshole.
Quote from: Isaac on March 02, 2007, 10:23:16 PM
Quote from: varietyofcells on February 28, 2007, 10:58:53 AMI didn't notice the spoiler warning you put in the title. Good enough for me. Thanks.
It's too late, though, since I already saw the thread before the first poster edited "**spoilers**" into the title. Thanks a lot, jackass. I was planning on watching this before I saw your thread. Asshole.
it is common sense. ah, well he learned his lesson and apologized mockingly ... hey wait a min... son of a
Alright Alright... I'll never not put a "spoiler" warning up again.
Quote from: Laziest Man on Mars on March 03, 2007, 07:23:53 AM
Alright Alright... I'll never not put a "spoiler" warning up again.
I think the constant harping on this guy might be at the end of its useful life.
(https://forum.rifftrax.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmonkeylice.com%2Fgallery%2Falbums%2Fmacros%2FBeatingDeadHorse.highlight.jpg&hash=d3e8c6f553ddf37816281d148f7aa7f2e57f17ee)
I'll be fair, I hadn't seen this movie before (the remake or the original), and it was ruined for me by a Bravo TV Halloween special, "100 Scariest Movie Moments." If the film didn't break the top 15, chances were the scariest part of the movie was the end. And they had a nasty habit of showing the scariest part of the movie. (It was kind of a stupid list, though. "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" was somewhere in the mid-70's.)
So the movie was ruined for me long before Mr. Dropo pondered the definition of horror. If that makes anything better.
Quote from: Isaac on March 02, 2007, 10:23:16 PM
Quote from: varietyofcells on February 28, 2007, 10:58:53 AMI didn't notice the spoiler warning you put in the title. Good enough for me. Thanks.
It's too late, though, since I already saw the thread before the first poster edited "**spoilers**" into the title. Thanks a lot, jackass. I was planning on watching this before I saw your thread. Asshole.
Though, to be fair, it was only his second post. He may not have even been aware the spoiler button existed (for his post... not counting the title).
Also, there was an entire sentence about how "The last scene is the lamest attempt at horror." Right there you could have stopped if you were afraid of spoiling the movie. I know it's possible because I've done it.
Besides, if you didn't want to know anything about the movie, why are you reading a Wicker Man thread in the first place? You should know that a thread dedicated to a movie carries the REMOTE POSSIBILITY of spoiling something for you.
Quote from: torgosPizza on March 03, 2007, 11:31:43 AM
Quote from: Isaac on March 02, 2007, 10:23:16 PM
Quote from: varietyofcells on February 28, 2007, 10:58:53 AMI didn't notice the spoiler warning you put in the title. Good enough for me. Thanks.
It's too late, though, since I already saw the thread before the first poster edited "**spoilers**" into the title. Thanks a lot, jackass. I was planning on watching this before I saw your thread. Asshole.
Though, to be fair, it was only his second post. He may not have even been aware the spoiler button existed (for his post... not counting the title).
Also, there was an entire sentence about how "The last scene is the lamest attempt at horror." Right there you could have stopped if you were afraid of spoiling the movie. I know it's possible because I've done it.
Besides, if you didn't want to know anything about the movie, why are you reading a Wicker Man thread in the first place? You should know that a thread dedicated to a movie carries the REMOTE POSSIBILITY of spoiling something for you.
Thanks Torgo... It's not like I named the post "Puppies R KEWL!" and just wrote "Kevin Spacey Was Tyler Durden the WHOLE TIME"
Here's the ultimate spoiler... your milk has gone bad.
i had milk? now that is a spoiler :rimshot:
Quote from: Laziest Man on Mars on March 03, 2007, 01:47:18 PM
Thanks Torgo... It's not like I named the post "Puppies R KEWL!" and just wrote "Kevin Spacey Was Tyler Durden the WHOLE TIME"
Puppies r not kewl, they drewl lolo!!!!!111one
which is why i mentioned the lawn mower in another thread
I probably wouldn't call this a horror movie any more than I'd call "Lord of the Flies" a horror movie.
...meaning that I would not call either one a horror movie.
horror movie horror movie
I would probably call this one a thriller (though Thriller was actually a [mini] horror movie).
horror movie
I would probably have to say that horror=monster (of some kind). It could be Clowny McVentboy from Saw, to cross-dressing Anthony Perkins to The Big G from Tokyo.
Though I wouldn't call "Freaks" a horror movie. That wouldn't be PC (it would be Mac though, the jerk!)
Come on folks, the movie's bad enough without the corny jokes
isnt that the whole point of rifftrax though?
This movie is supposed to be a horror. But its as much of a horror as The Grudge is a horror.
Well, you're right it is all about the megacheese
But I can get beyond thunderdome...I've not got beyond the fact that I bought this awful movie
The fact that this is a remake made me dig deeper to find out what the movie was supposed to be about. I might have to rent the original, which also flopped, but sounds better..
some good readin material here.
http://www.philipcoppens.com/wickerman.html
They even mention how the alternate ending was insulting to viewers.
I dont think I could stand to watch this movie again without Mike and Kevin......... what was the "alternate ending"?
Like I've said it wasnt really alternate, it was just an add on. It was six months later and that girl that looks like helen hunt and another girl were at a bar trying to hook up with some guys to get pregnant and start the whole bs over again. That's it, really alternate huh. Not to mention it was obvious that it was going to happen again and again...it was kind of their thing.
edit:
One thing going for nicholas cage in this, was he didnt even know his motivation, which was obvious. He was supposed to be a sexually repressed very religious virgin sergeant. In the actual movie hes just a cop. They successfully cut out every good aspect of the original screenplay and chopped it up into hollywood garbage. Which is why all the actors look like they dont know what theyre doing, because they actually dont, this movie should not have been made. However being it was made it definitely needed to be riffed. And a raccoon jumps out now!!.....and the girl pops in front of the screen now!!..... that riff absolutely killed me.
well its really no different than calgon opens his eyes is it?
Quote from: Quicksilver on March 04, 2007, 03:59:20 PM
Like I've said it wasnt really alternate, it was just an add on. It was six months later and that girl that looks like helen hunt and another girl were at a bar trying to hook up with some guys to get pregnant and start the whole bs over again. That's it, really alternate huh. Not to mention it was obvious that it was going to happen again and again...it was kind of their thing.
Wow.. um.. shocking....?
I was hoping it would be Nic Cage on fire turns into "Ghost Rider"
that would have been great as the tower is about to colapse he jumps out on the bike on fire into a ghost rider trailer lmao!!
I would really have thought it was funny.
Quote from: sarcasm_made_Easy on March 04, 2007, 04:01:23 PM
well its really no different than calgon opens his eyes is it?
LOL
Hey guys, thanks for letting me know. You have saved me much pain in having to watch this for myself.
Did ANYONE listed to the audio commentary that the editor and costume designer contributed to?
Quote from: Quicksilver on March 04, 2007, 04:07:29 PM
that would have been great as the tower is about to colapse he jumps out on the bike on fire into a ghost rider trailer lmao!!
as silly as that would be, the movie would have been 10 times better for it
Quote from: PSLOwner on March 04, 2007, 04:09:26 PM
Quote from: sarcasm_made_Easy on March 04, 2007, 04:01:23 PM
well its really no different than calgon opens his eyes is it?
LOL
Hey guys, thanks for letting me know. You have saved me much pain in having to watch this for myself.
Did ANYONE listed to the audio commentary that the editor and costume designer contributed to?
I'm a commentary junkie so I will probably get to it eventually... not in any big hurry though
Oh, I'd LOVE to hear that costume designer go...um, yeah, so we rented this bear suit, and damnit, we were gonna use it
its probably more likely that cage yelled at the costume designer and this is his punishment.
I can see this exchange.......
"I was going to put Cage in a gorilla suit with a deep sea diving helmet, but Robot Monster beat us to it".
Quote from: sarcasm_made_Easy on March 06, 2007, 03:04:16 PM
its probably more likely that cage yelled at the costume designer and this is his punishment.
The more I think about it...maybe cage getting axed was supposed to be the happy ending...
so ive finally seen this riff.
DEAR GOD WHY
dont get me funny it was a good riff, but the movie itself was so freaken painful.
Quote from: sarcasm_made_Easy on March 06, 2007, 03:04:16 PM
its probably more likely that cage yelled at the costume designer and this is his punishment.
The costume designer accidentally dropped some cigarette ashes on his outfit and Cage yelled at her:
"HOW'D IT GET BURNED? HOW'DITGETBURNEDHOW'DITGETBURNED?!?!?"
I totally missed that alternate ending. Who would have thought that the wiccans would send in their helen hunt look alike to get impregnated by another dope? Thanks for spoiling it.... :D
Yeah, I think this move is way past its expiration date, no further spoilage could be possible
Quote from: Quicksilver on March 04, 2007, 03:59:20 PM
Like I've said it wasnt really alternate, it was just an add on. It was six months later and that girl that looks like helen hunt and another girl were at a bar trying to hook up with some guys to get pregnant and start the whole bs over again. That's it, really alternate huh. Not to mention it was obvious that it was going to happen again and again...it was kind of their thing.
That was the alternate? I thought that was the regular. That was the riffed version, wasn' t it? Or did the riffing stop, but I didn't notice because the movie was so "shocking?" :D So the "regular" ending is just Cage going up in flames in the lawn furniture burning man thing, and then the credits roll?
Yeah, it's just proof that everything this movie had to throw out was terrible...nothing could redeem the piece
well a hardcore unexplained sex scene with halle berry tyra banks and lucy lu in the middle of the movie might have helped. i mean it wouldnt have made me complain or anything.
haha....well, I'm sure that would have woken up at least some of the snoozing people in the theater (assuming anyone was actually in the theater to watch this thing)
But the more I think about it...someone had to die to appease the film gods for this horrible thing, looks like cage was the burnt offering :P
Quote from: Heysie on March 12, 2007, 02:05:33 PM
Quote from: Quicksilver on March 04, 2007, 03:59:20 PM
Like I've said it wasnt really alternate, it was just an add on. It was six months later and that girl that looks like helen hunt and another girl were at a bar trying to hook up with some guys to get pregnant and start the whole bs over again. That's it, really alternate huh. Not to mention it was obvious that it was going to happen again and again...it was kind of their thing.
That was the alternate? I thought that was the regular. That was the riffed version, wasn' t it? Or did the riffing stop, but I didn't notice because the movie was so "shocking?" :D So the "regular" ending is just Cage going up in flames in the lawn furniture burning man thing, and then the credits roll?
yup
no
yep
yes
At least we got that out of the way....
...two weeks later and I'm STILL pissed off at this movie >:(
Quote from: Quicksilver on March 12, 2007, 07:52:42 PM
Quote from: Heysie on March 12, 2007, 02:05:33 PM
Quote from: Quicksilver on March 04, 2007, 03:59:20 PM
Like I've said it wasnt really alternate, it was just an add on. It was six months later and that girl that looks like helen hunt and another girl were at a bar trying to hook up with some guys to get pregnant and start the whole bs over again. That's it, really alternate huh. Not to mention it was obvious that it was going to happen again and again...it was kind of their thing.
That was the alternate? I thought that was the regular. That was the riffed version, wasn' t it? Or did the riffing stop, but I didn't notice because the movie was so "shocking?" :D So the "regular" ending is just Cage going up in flames in the lawn furniture burning man thing, and then the credits roll?
yup
no
yep
yes
Thanks for the succinct answers! What a lame excuse for an alternative ending--I thought alternative meant *different*, like a spaceship zooms down and rescues Cage and the burning wicker thing falls on Sister Be-ach.
Well, in this case, that's as alternative as the director's creative vision would allow....
Ok, maybe this was answered earlier....but uh...why exactly did that whole....car crash happen at the beginning? I mean, it set him into his drug poppin' depression, but what other purpose was there? I'm serious....maybe I missed it between all the riffing...but it never seemed explained to me.
I never quite got that....but honestly, by then end of the movie I longed to be in that car... ;D
I would of preferred to be in the truck, then i could have missed the car and got cage maybe ;)
Hahaha....yeah, but it'd be better to destroy the whole Island, and kill the infestation at its source
Quote from: BobEvil on March 15, 2007, 06:40:37 AM
Ok, maybe this was answered earlier....but uh...why exactly did that whole....car crash happen at the beginning? I mean, it set him into his drug poppin' depression, but what other purpose was there? I'm serious....maybe I missed it between all the riffing...but it never seemed explained to me.
My assumption (and that's all it is, since it's never really explained) was that they used that car crash event to get him taking "medication". they then had someone switch out his perscription with their "drugs", whatever they were, the kind that give him hallucinations, etc. I don't know why they were drugging him, maybe so that he would "see" the little girl in his hallucinations and think that he was on the right track the whole time. What I don't get is why they went through any of this at all. The only "stipulation" was that he show up at the sacrificial spot "by his own free will". They could have done that very easily in a less contrived way.
Really though, this movie will never be "figured out". I'm starting to respect this movie. The complexities of it's crappiness are brilliant.
wow, that's a first. I never thought in the history of mankind would I see "The Wicker Man" (or in this case "this movie") and the word "respect" in the same sentence. Perhaps maybe "I respect this movie's ability to make me question why I, a person who is in no way self-hating, would inflict such painful horrors upon myself" or perhaps "I respect this movie's ability to make me lose faith in humanity's will to do good in this world."
Quote from: Smilin' Jack Ross on March 15, 2007, 09:06:10 AM
Really though, this movie will never be "figured out". I'm starting to respect this movie. The complexities of it's crappiness are brilliant.
Quick....this man needs a doctor!
Hang in there Jack, it'll be ok, it'll be ok......we'll get you some quality films and some popcorn, and it'll be ok
Yeah, I'm just kind of shivering in the corner. This movie has not only made me question my own existence, but I'm not sure I'll be able to continue on in my current life. I might have to go live in the moutains as a monk or something.
...Or you could join some bizarre feminist cult on an island somewhere in Washington.....