I learned why Bill is hot.
I learned what the guy who carried "9 CUSTARD PIES" does at home.
I did NOT learn how the bizar animated story Santa told them had anything to do with "where toys come from".
I learned that Santa is every bit the bumbling, incompetant buffoon that father is, yet kids can somehow tell the difference.
I learned that once a year, a Christmas demon will give you visions of Santa Claus, who will then describe an indescribable cartoon to you.
I learned the true meaning of "Badonk-a-donk".
Padding a crappy film with a classic TerryToons cartoon (http://www.bcdb.com/cartoon_synopsis/2097-Ye_Olde_Toy_Shop.html) won't help.
I learned that the true spirit of Christmas is to celebrate the victory of toy-kind over the scourge of evil nightmare spider-dog.
Mind you, toy-kind as told by Santa as induced by a demon.
I learned that this is what today's politicians grew up watching and this could be the real reason our present day economy is in the toilet :o
I learned decorating trees was once Santa's job... he's gotten lazy...
Decorating, and even bringing it in. Lazy old man. Then again my mom always had us kids do the decorating. Turned out about as good as you would expect from people who could only reach half of it.
I learned that the makers of crappy shorts think about awkward framing devices while touching themselves in public lavatories. They are THAT obsessed with them.