Cloverfield

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

For anyone who's interested, CloverfieldClues.com has mentioned the upcoming Rifftrax on their site. Nobody seems particularly offended by the concept so far.

http://cloverfieldclues.blogspot.com/2008/04/cloverfield-rifftrax.html

By the way, if you want to avoid spoilers about the movie, don't explore that site too much. On the other hand, if you do want to know more about it, that would be a good place to look. This would be a good place for that too:

http://forums.unfiction.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=23861

that doesn't seem very snap worthy

[bettertomorrowamy]

Oooh, snap!

[GalvaTRION]

[
I saw people who were suffering so profoundly that to me Cloverfield is no different then torture porn. I mean, the suffering is the ONLY thing we saw for the duration of the whole movie, except the opening party scene.

I suppose you just shouldn't watch movies with any conflict in them, if that's the case. I literally have no idea what the hell you're talking about as far as this movie's supposed profound suffering.

Realistic? A great big giant monster invades New York, presumably from the ocean. The monster is half the height of the statue of liberty and yet it managed to rip its head off.

The arms of the monster are about twice the length of it's body. Given it's gimpy appearance, we can assume retard strength is at play, here.

One girl doesn't bleed to death even though some rebar is sticking through her chest.

Between the chest and shoulder. The rebar would also hold the wound closed since she stayed still until several hours later. She probably clots like I do (for the record: Very well).

The guy easily killed the little critters with a fire axe, yet a bomb doesn't kill a monster,

They're parasites, not babies of the larger monster. The larger monster is modeled specifically after Japanese monsters that are unharmed by conventional weapons.

a helicoptor just HAPPENS to be within striking distance of the monster even though the so-called "competent" pilots are supposed to be flying AWAY from the danger.

They were trying to get as many refugees out as possible, and the monster's path- as the film had shown- is highly illogical and erratic (as opposed to erotic). Admittedly, this is the least realistic out of the whole list of problems you've got with the film considering how quickly the government is able to respond to disasters like Katrina (not a political statement).

Yes... very realistic.

Compared to other Japanese style monster movies. The realism doesn't come from the science of it, but from the perspective and lack of information- "Maybe it came from outer space!"

I've got another word for all that but I think i've hurt enough feelings already.

Rest assured, you would have crushed me had your words been slightly more negative. Thank you for your discretion.

[bettertomorrowamy]

[
I saw people who were suffering so profoundly that to me Cloverfield is no different then torture porn. I mean, the suffering is the ONLY thing we saw for the duration of the whole movie, except the opening party scene.

I suppose you just shouldn't watch movies with any conflict in them, if that's the case. I literally have no idea what the hell you're talking about as far as this movie's supposed profound suffering.

Oooh, snap!

Realistic? A great big giant monster invades New York, presumably from the ocean. The monster is half the height of the statue of liberty and yet it managed to rip its head off.

The arms of the monster are about twice the length of it's body. Given it's gimpy appearance, we can assume retard strength is at play, here.

Oooh, snap!

One girl doesn't bleed to death even though some rebar is sticking through her chest.

Between the chest and shoulder. The rebar would also hold the wound closed since she stayed still until several hours later. She probably clots like I do (for the record: Very well).

Oooh, snap!

The guy easily killed the little critters with a fire axe, yet a bomb doesn't kill a monster,

They're parasites, not babies of the larger monster. The larger monster is modeled specifically after Japanese monsters that are unharmed by conventional weapons.

a helicoptor just HAPPENS to be within striking distance of the monster even though the so-called "competent" pilots are supposed to be flying AWAY from the danger.

They were trying to get as many refugees out as possible, and the monster's path- as the film had shown- is highly illogical and erratic (as opposed to erotic). Admittedly, this is the least realistic out of the whole list of problems you've got with the film considering how quickly the government is able to respond to disasters like Katrina (not a political statement).

Oooh, snap!

Yes... very realistic.

Compared to other Japanese style monster movies. The realism doesn't come from the science of it, but from the perspective and lack of information- "Maybe it came from outer space!"

Oooh, snap!

I've got another word for all that but I think i've hurt enough feelings already.

Rest assured, you would have crushed me had your words been slightly more negative. Thank you for your discretion.

Oooh, snap!

[GalvaTRION]

It's like a damn rice crispy factory in here...

[GLaDOS]

Realistic? A great big giant monster invades New York, presumably from the ocean. The monster is half the height of the statue of liberty and yet it managed to rip its head off.

The arms of the monster are about twice the length of it's body. Given it's gimpy appearance, we can assume retard strength is at play, here.

One girl doesn't bleed to death even though some rebar is sticking through her chest.

Between the chest and shoulder. The rebar would also hold the wound closed since she stayed still until several hours later. She probably clots like I do (for the record: Very well).

The guy easily killed the little critters with a fire axe, yet a bomb doesn't kill a monster,

They're parasites, not babies of the larger monster. The larger monster is modeled specifically after Japanese monsters that are unharmed by conventional weapons.

The arms are twice the length of its body...and at no time neither his radius nor ulna snapped. As I recall, that wound of hers looked like it went through an area of her chest which would in effect give her a pneumothorax. Clotted or not, she would be dead.   And, as far as I know all creatures can be harmed by a fire axe and even If his hide were THAT thick, Cloverfield would be completely immobile. At the very least he would have had some joint damage. I'm not giving that sucker some glucosamine though.

[GalvaTRION]

Once again: He's a Japanese style monster. Impervious to conventional weaponry, weird and illogically built. Kinda wish they had the balls to do things like have lightbulbs randomly sticking out of him, hair in random places, buzzsaws...

... sorry, what was I talking about?

In any event It's not about the science- it avoided that issue entirely by keeping the audience in the dark about the creature thus making the movie into a nightmare style scenario. The girl was hit in the "hero area"- which is close to the shoulder, and movie logic for "wounded, but not fatal." Unlikely, implausible, but considering the rampaging seabeast, possible within the logic of the film.

[GLaDOS]

Once again: He's a Japanese style monster. Impervious to conventional weaponry, weird and illogically built. Kinda wish they had the balls to do things like have lightbulbs randomly sticking out of him, hair in random places, buzzsaws...
... sorry, what was I talking about?
In any event It's not about the science- it avoided that issue entirely by keeping the audience in the dark about the creature thus making the movie into a nightmare style scenario. The girl was hit in the "hero area"- which is close to the shoulder, and movie logic for "wounded, but not fatal." Unlikely, implausible, but considering the rampaging seabeast, possible within the logic of the film.

Nonetheless, it's still a massively depressing movie. I'm surprised it didn't incite mass suicide among high school students and college freshmen everywhere. Most horror movies are more uplifting. Saw IV was like freaking Spongebob squarepants in comparison. Okay, that's all I am going to say about this movie, I promise.

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

Oooh, snap!

[bratpop]

Spielberg's War of the Worlds + Blair Witch Project + "Hmm, they're remaking King Kong?" = ...can you guess?

[bettertomorrowamy]

Ummmmm....

Oooh, snap!

?

[ShadowDog]

I haven't seen this movie, and I was looking forward to a long lifetime of this continuing to be true but unfortunately it's being riffed, but personally the more spoiled I am about the "plot" the better.  That way I can focus more on the riffs and less on trying to figure out what's going on.

Here's a question!  How the hell have they already recorded the riff for this movie when the DVD doesn't even come out until Tuesday?  Even if Mike had illegally gotten ahold of a bootleg, which would surprise and very much disappoint me because it'd be endorsing piracy, there's no guarantee the timing would be the same.  Does Mike have the kind of industry connections that allow him to get early DVDs for this purpose?  If so, when I can I come to his house and hang out in his video library?  I want an early screening of Crystal Skull!

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

Oooh, snap!

[GalvaTRION]

I haven't seen this movie, and I was looking forward to a long lifetime of this continuing to be true but unfortunately it's being riffed, but personally the more spoiled I am about the "plot" the better.  That way I can focus more on the riffs and less on trying to figure out what's going on.

Here's a question!  How the hell have they already recorded the riff for this movie when the DVD doesn't even come out until Tuesday?  Even if Mike had illegally gotten ahold of a bootleg, which would surprise and very much disappoint me because it'd be endorsing piracy, there's no guarantee the timing would be the same.  Does Mike have the kind of industry connections that allow him to get early DVDs for this purpose?  If so, when I can I come to his house and hang out in his video library?  I want an early screening of Crystal Skull!

Imma guess they either get ahold of early screener copies that get sent out to rental stores.

[ShadowDog]

Yeah, hopefully that's what's going on.  The Cloverfield producers would probably consider that part of their promotion because if nothing else they've gotten one more person to watch their hideous movie than otherwise would have.