I Just Finished Watching...

[dbsommer]

The Day the Earth Froze and Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell

The Day for some odd reason didn't really work for me all that well. I think it's a lot because the movie itself feels like a narrative of events rather than a movie. I know it's based on some European tale so it sort of is, but the style just threw me. I get why other people like it, though.

Deathstalker and Five Dead Guys. Now this has always been a personal favorite of mine. Probably Outlaw (of Gor) is the only mst/riff of this genre I like more. Everything worked, the pacing on it was good enough something to be made fun of was always happening. The lead was douchy but in a laughable way. And I recognized Hawk from Buck Rogers immidiately. Which surprised me since I haven't seen it in this century. Even the skits all worked which only enhanced the experience. I never actually ranked my faves, but this is top tier for me.

[dbsommer]

Boggy Creek II: The Legend Continues

I remembered this as being hilarious when I saw it first run on tv. Having only seen it for the second time, I found it solid, but not great. They kept the riffs going during a lot of the slow parts, and actually the horrible flashbacks to kill time helped keep the guys rolling since the different perspective gave the guys material to work with. But the film suffers from meandering boredom, rather than outright absurdity. And thus the jokes only relate to that. Carter Lake Monster had more going for it, despite being on a similar budget, so that was both a stronger riff and movie. I did love Kevin calling out for the girls to mud wrestle constantly, which would have livened up the movie tremendously, but as it is it's still fun to watch. Last quarter with the bib overall man boobs was all the over the top there was.

[dbsommer]

Ring of Terror

Arguably the worst movie they did since it's a bunch of people meandering around with no real build up to anything with a point. The primary failure of the movie is the 'payoff' which is bland, boring, and you don't care. It's not scary or shocking, it kind of just happens. None of the characters matter in any way. It literally cold have been, 'a man walks into a crypt' in five minutes and had the same impact. Even the riffing couldn't save it. I'd say even 'The Starfigthers' was more interesting, and that's saying something.

[dbsommer]

City Limits

Wow. Forgot this had a pretty good cast. But the movies itself is a slow pondering mess, so it doesn't matter. I had completely forgotten everything about this because there's nothing memorable about it.  Barely a plot that doesn't really make much sense. The most simplistic overthrow of an 'evil overlord' (who might almost be the weakest and lamest one ever). No dialogue. No Toblerone. Just nothing to it. There's no absurdity, just ineptitude. I can see how this one never gets mentioned since there's nothing to it. The riffs are okay, but they have little to latch on to so there's nothing to elevate it.

[The Lurker]

City Limits

Wow. Forgot this had a pretty good cast. But the movies itself is a slow pondering mess, so it doesn't matter. I had completely forgotten everything about this because there's nothing memorable about it.  Barely a plot that doesn't really make much sense. The most simplistic overthrow of an 'evil overlord' (who might almost be the weakest and lamest one ever). No dialogue. No Toblerone. Just nothing to it. There's no absurdity, just ineptitude. I can see how this one never gets mentioned since there's nothing to it. The riffs are okay, but they have little to latch on to so there's nothing to elevate it.

My favorite part about the whole thing was that Rae Dawn Chong, despite actually being in the movie, had never seen the movie until the MST3K episode.  She apparently loved the episode.  I think she also mentioned that several of the cast and crew referred to the movie as "Shitty Limits".

[dbsommer]

My favorite part about the whole thing was that Rae Dawn Chong, despite actually being in the movie, had never seen the movie until the MST3K episode.  She apparently loved the episode.  I think she also mentioned that several of the cast and crew referred to the movie as "Shitty Limits".
[/quote]

I should have thrown in Mike's Morrissey impression was legendary. But it's only at the start so you can stop watching after that unless you're a completist or have nothing better to watch or do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQR78U6zvGI

[dbsommer]

Track of the Moon Beast

When you run out of werewilfs and deadly beets, you resort to Moon Beasts as your go to monster. There's a great riff early on with Johnny Longbow which became a running gag, but it works. The budget ran out about five minutes into shooting, by my reckoning, but they carried on anyway by not paying for actual actors, creature effects, or coherence. I'd say the train wreck that was Werewolf was a better made movie, though not by much. As to the riffs, while nowhere near as good as that classic, it is still enjoyable. I'd say it's above average for them. Turd of a movie though.

Pumaman

Donald Pleasance was always an honest man when asked about taking these turkeys: "I have kids that need to go to college'. Imagine someone making a far lamer version of Greatest American Hero, and you have Pumaman. It felt like a made for TV pilot. And the lameness gives the guys much magnificence to work with. The hero is inept, and his side kick more heroic. His powers are terrible. Everything about it is just poor. Also not a genre I believe they touched much upon. But they hit it out of the ballpark for me and one of my top episodes.

They have a nice skit with Pearl and Roger Whittaker as well. Great stuff.
 

San Francisco International

I had totally forgotten this one so it was like watching a new episode. This is a TV pilot that should have failed, but was quickly pulled after a handful of episodes. We have a bevy of TV actors from a variety of shows over the years, and Tab Hunter who the gang is more familiar with than I. A mishmash of minor subplots around a main plot of guys trying to steal some cash from a plane. It reeks of poorly written 70's tv. There's a lot for the guys to talk about, although the riffs about Parnell trying to talk a kid into landing the aircraft he stole has quite a few good lines. The scene in the show goes on for too long, but they keep up the good work. The whole thing is a very solid effort which I give a thumbs up.

The skit with Mike as Urkel has plenty of cameos and works as a satire. We even get to see Torgo and the future Mrs. Nelson reprising one of her roles too. One of the better skits in combination with the movie.

[stansimpson]

Pumaman

The hero is inept, and his side kick more heroic.

One of the funniest things I've ever seen on this sub is when someone showed a pic of the actor who played Thepumaman in his later career as a lawyer. Then someone asked something like, "Does an Aztec come in and win his cases for him too?"

[Darth Geek]

The Christmas That Almost Wasn't - One of my favorites from Season 11. I always forget that Santa doesn't find out Whipple is a lawyer until AFTER he comes to him for help. So it makes him seem extra pathetic and desperate that he was trying to hold an adult to a letter he wrote as a kid. This is also not the kind of movie that you can just shut your mind off to the logical problems because "it's just for kids", since the logical problems of rent and landlord disputes are the plot of this movie!

"So if I prove that my middle name isn't Tightwad then Santa has to pay me rent? I'm starting to understand this broke lawyer thing."

"Hey Whipple, you paying attention dumbass? Now THIS is how you collect on a bill!"

[dbsommer]

Attack of the Eye Creatures

This was a very low budget remake of some other fairly low budget movie. The lack of funds shows as the creatures are lame, the pacing terrible, the acting atrocious... it's just all around bad. There is much to make fun of in this inept horror film, so the riffs are solid. I'd say it's more average than great, but worth watching for sure. It had also been so long since I watched I forgot everything about it. So it was like new.

The Indestructible Man

Fun opening with the Undersea Kingdom continuing before getting to the fun stuff. Lon Chaney Jr. was a good actor, and does a decent job of coming across as a criminal that you wouldn't want to mess with, even after he dies and is brought back as an... well Indestructible Man. This is low budget was well, but much better in execution. More solid riffing but since the movie is more blase than bad, I would recommend this before 'Attack'.

Operation Double 007

And this is the high point of the trilogy of reviews. The Italians decided to make a James Bond rip off by famously hiring Connery's brother, as well as every person that ever appeared in a Bond film up to that point. And brother, it's even worse than you can imagine. Which makes it tons of fun. The plot is silly, little brother has no acting talent, and it's dumb but fun. And the guys milk it for all it's worth. This is a classic for me and probably my favorite 'spy' movie they did. On the upside of the actual movie, it was nice to see Moneypenny get to be in more than an opening to a film.

Skits were top notch, and the flow chart comparison between the Connerys' careers was forever etched in my mind with the reason at one point Sean's career was lower than his brothers. (yes, Highlander 2 was that bad). definitley recommend seeing this if you haven't already. Or perhaps Connery's brother will hypnotize you with his eyes.

[dbsommer]

Red Zone Cuba

I remember this being a bad movie. I underestimated its awfulness. It is rancid in every way. Bad jump cuts. Incoherent plot. A 7 man invasion of Cuba. About 39% of the script not filmed, so every plot point kind of just never happens. It fails miserably on every level. The riffs keep it afloat, which is saying something given how incompetent the actual film is. I still have no idea what this was about. It follows a criminal around. That's it.

It's worth watching but only because of the riffs, and John Carradine singing.

[dbsommer]

The Wild World of Batwoman

I remember this stinker, and boy was it ever. Super low budget, incoherent plot, and not an actual actor to be found anywhere. I think it was trying for an exploitation feel, but only the viewer will feel exploited. I kind of think this part of this might have been written by an 8 year old, and the rest by a 13 year old who's just hit puberty. Luckily there's so much bizarro stuff the riffs really work and you'll probably be stunned as the movie rambles inanely from one scene to the next. Highly recommend.

The Mole People

This was a much better movie. Not just actual actors in it, but Alfred from the Adam West Batman does a legitmately good job as one of the villains. It's a 'lost world' tale with rock climbing, which gives a number of call backs. And then  people in lame monster costumes and a subterranean race cut off from the world above. It's sort of by the numbers for the genre, but it's enjoyable on its own. The guys do a really good job on this one too as this is a type of movie they were always good at it. I'd watch this before Batwoman, but both are good.

[dbsommer]

Gamera vs Zigra

I like kaiju movies and while I know I've seen this both as its own movie and as an MST I couldn't remember anything about either one. Then I watched it and realized why.

It's a terrible, terrible movie.

I mean by any standard. Sure, the Gamera movies were aimed at kids, but this is just awful. Gamera usually does something cool at some point in these, but there's nothing. The alien shark is *meh*. There's only one real fight between the two which is easily resolved. The 'plot' is one alien talking about using earthquakes that happen off camera to take over the planet, and he wants his human pawn to kill two kids who 'know too much' since she let them escape from her ship...somehow. And then 90% of the rest of the movie is her walking around in skimpy outfits chasing them.

And since there's nothing much happening, and what is there is boring and repetitive dumb, there's not much to work with. The only part memorably good was the last ten minutes or so and their commentary on the fight. That's it. Even the skits, while solid, aren't classic.

Can't say I really recommend this unless you've seen everything else and want something new.

[linszoid]

Gamera vs Zigra

I like kaiju movies and while I know I've seen this both as its own movie and as an MST I couldn't remember anything about either one. Then I watched it and realized why.

It's a terrible, terrible movie.

I mean by any standard. Sure, the Gamera movies were aimed at kids, but this is just awful. Gamera usually does something cool at some point in these, but there's nothing. The alien shark is *meh*. There's only one real fight between the two which is easily resolved. The 'plot' is one alien talking about using earthquakes that happen off camera to take over the planet, and he wants his human pawn to kill two kids who 'know too much' since she let them escape from her ship...somehow. And then 90% of the rest of the movie is her walking around in skimpy outfits chasing them.

And since there's nothing much happening, and what is there is boring and repetitive dumb, there's not much to work with. The only part memorably good was the last ten minutes or so and their commentary on the fight. That's it. Even the skits, while solid, aren't classic.

Can't say I really recommend this unless you've seen everything else and want something new.

I always thought that playing your theme song on your enemy's helpless body before incinerating him was pretty bad ass. There should've been a scene of Gamera feasting on Zigra's well cooked corpse.

[dbsommer]

Since I've been on an MST3K kick recently

Horrors of Spider Island

One of the last movies they did which has often been overlooked due to some stronger entries around this time. Honestly while the movie is boring drek with little happening, they do a good job of filling time with some solid riffing which keeps you around without it being painful. Since 5/6 of the movie is girls sniping at one another or guys hitting on women sniping at one another, it's quite an accomplishment. The other 1/5 was a plastic spider and a guy in bad make up being on screen. But it is a worthwhile watch.

Zombie Nightmare

I hadn't seen this in years, and boy was that a mistake. This thing was great from start to finish, from the increasingly lame zombie with clearly different actors portraying him, our buddy John Mikel Thor bulging, a bit of Tia Carerra (The one from Wayne's World, since her career is just as bad now as it was in this and you might have forgotten her), to the horrible dialogue and things happening on screen, to Adam West being on ludes during his performance, and yet still being the best actor in this. The riffing goes right along with it and had many lines I laughed along with, and not just the Adam West ones'. I remember it being good, but it felt even better than I remembered it.

We even get to see Forrester and Frank voodooing around. Go watch it.

Useless trivia: The bad hair 'leader' of the gang became a director himself of such obscure movies as Night at the Museum, Cheaper by the Dozen, Real Steel, and that Stranger Things thing. Who knew?