Amazing short. One question: Why would you carpet your walls?
"Someone showed an Ed Wood movie. It gave her extraordinary powers of laughing till she snorted whole sandwiches through her nose."
That's one of my favorite lines, actually.
"This key could kill you."
"Give me back my soul!"
"Did you enjoy the poster I projected into your mind, Ms. Kingsley?"
"Oxygen: Sourge of mankind."
"It's an early draft of Guernica."
"We all need to learn to read labels more carefully, Tommy."
"But first, we should learn to read, Tommy."
"Hitler's desk fan! AAAHHHH!"
"Safetywoman was played by actress Susan Valdes, who was later killed when she slipped on a wet floor while carrying a power drill and stumbled into a desk fan, knocking over an open bottle of bleach into a hot skillet which exploded, throwing her to the ground and causing her loaded gun to go off. The end."