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Author Topic: One Billion Dollars  (Read 6590 times)

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Offline TeamRAD

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One Billion Dollars
« on: March 26, 2008, 01:27:33 PM »

How's the Round Table going to spend it?

For starters...I'm going to...

1) ...purchase a condo in the State St. District of Madison.
2) ...try to coax Madisonian, Ben Weasel, into reuniting Screeching Weasel for one-night at the Annex.
3) ...contact Mike Nelson's people in an attempt to bring Mike, Kevin, and Bill for RiffTrax Live at the Orpheum Theatre in downtown Madison.
4) ...forge the foundation of my own comic book publishing company and vegetarian/vegan diner where all the profits will go to the National Foundation for Abused and Neglected Children.
5) ...buy a battle tank...
http://www.amazon.com/JL421-Badonkadonk-Land-Cruiser-Tank/dp/B00067F1CE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=miscellaneous&qid=1206562955&sr=8-1
6) ...pick up a bucket of cookies from Trader Joe's.

...and that would be my gameplan for Wednesday afternoon until the Badger game on Friday evening.

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Einstein


Offline Fortis

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2008, 01:41:36 PM »
1. Invest in toilet paper...
2. Smack Tom Cruise in the face
3. Pee in every country in the world
4. Find Bin Ladin and kick him in the groin with my infidel foot, and then say, "God bless America"
5. Buy a first edition of Lord of the Rings


Offline bettertomorrowamy

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2008, 02:11:01 PM »
I'd give a million dollars to everyone I work with.
I'd stuff a million dollars in a randomly picked mailbox.
I'd get my jeep fixed and professionally repainted with little fire flames by the rear wheels.
I'd get a wee bit drunk.
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Offline a pretty girl is like

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2008, 02:37:10 PM »
Buy a farm.  Prepare for impending zombie holocaust.  Survive.
I'm all out for kicks...and every inch of me spells EXCITEMENT!


Offline Compound

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2008, 02:41:24 PM »
Well, if I had a billion dollars...

...I'd buy you a house. Yes, I'd buy you a house.
...Then I'd buy you furniture for your house. Maybe a nice Cheterfield or an Ottoman.
...I'd build a treefort in your yard. (You can help, if you want. It wouldn't be that hard.)
...I'd put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere. Then maybe I'd paint the tree to look like a giant sponge and tell folks that the tree's actually the world's largest above ground coral reef.
... I'd buy a fur coat. But not a real fur coat. That's cruel.
... I'd buy an exotic pet. Like a llama. Or an emu.
... I'd buy a nice, reliant car (Maybe a K-Car) so that I wouldn't have to walk to the store. In fact, I'd probably just take a limo everywhere.
... I'd no longer have to eat Mac & Cheese. But I probably would. You see, I've been all around the world and in my travels, I've discovered that the one issue that truly divides us isn't religion. It isn't politics. It's whether noodles covered in cheese sauce is called Mac & Cheese or Cheese & Mac. Well, except for Canadians, who bizarrely call it Kraft Dinner, but that's why they're regarded as the international equivalent of the kids who aren't allowed to use the real scissors. And with that money, I will unite the world behind me and everyone will just call it "Elbow Macaroni Pasta in a Reconstituted Cheddar Becarmel Sauce." Thank you! (Vote for me in November!)
... I'd buy a green dress. But not a real green dress. That's cruel.
... I'd buy some art. Like an Elmore. Or a Crow.
... I'd buy everyone a monkey. 'cause haven't you always wanted a monkey?

In short, I'd just be rich.



Offline bettertomorrowamy

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2008, 03:04:25 PM »
Well, if I had a billion dollars...

...I'd buy you a house. Yes, I'd buy you a house.
...Then I'd buy you furniture for your house. Maybe a nice Cheterfield or an Ottoman.
...I'd build a treefort in your yard. (You can help, if you want. It wouldn't be that hard.)
...I'd put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere. Then maybe I'd paint the tree to look like a giant sponge and tell folks that the tree's actually the world's largest above ground coral reef.
... I'd buy a fur coat. But not a real fur coat. That's cruel.
... I'd buy an exotic pet. Like a llama. Or an emu.
... I'd buy a nice, reliant car (Maybe a K-Car) so that I wouldn't have to walk to the store. In fact, I'd probably just take a limo everywhere.
... I'd no longer have to eat Mac & Cheese. But I probably would. You see, I've been all around the world and in my travels, I've discovered that the one issue that truly divides us isn't religion. It isn't politics. It's whether noodles covered in cheese sauce is called Mac & Cheese or Cheese & Mac. Well, except for Canadians, who bizarrely call it Kraft Dinner, but that's why they're regarded as the international equivalent of the kids who aren't allowed to use the real scissors. And with that money, I will unite the world behind me and everyone will just call it "Elbow Macaroni Pasta in a Reconstituted Cheddar Becarmel Sauce." Thank you! (Vote for me in November!)
... I'd buy a green dress. But not a real green dress. That's cruel.
... I'd buy some art. Like an Elmore. Or a Crow.
... I'd buy everyone a monkey. 'cause haven't you always wanted a monkey?

In short, I'd just be rich.



No that's what you do with a Million dollars.
On timeout


Offline Fortis

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2008, 03:12:56 PM »
If I had a billion dollars...I'd buy In-n-out... :)


Offline Compound

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2008, 03:22:14 PM »

No that's what you do with a Million dollars.

Yes, but I'd repeat it 1,000 times. Plus, gold plated monkeys.


Offline esoobaC .T bocaJ

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2008, 03:24:36 PM »

No that's what you do with a Million dollars.

Yes, but I'd repeat it 1,000 times. Plus, gold plated monkeys.

gold monkeys, awesome
 ;D
I'd probably do something lame like find the cure for all the diseases on the planet :-\
flesyht etah tsum uoy ,flesyht evas oT


GLaDOS

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2008, 03:27:56 PM »
1. I'd start by donating 5 million to Aperture Science
2. Buy myself a Las Vegas Hotel
3. Buy rights to remake the entire Star Wars prequel trilogy
4. Donate a big chunk to rifftrax(50 million dollars) so I can be a guest riffer on a movie of my choice.
5. Invest in stocks, bonds and use the resulting trillions to buy out Nintendo so I can release all their games and platforms
in an all-in-one gaming system.


Offline Tripe

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2008, 06:29:28 PM »
I'd probably invest in a bunch of property.

And then buy some controlling interests in a few small companies.

Oh and set up an second persona which I would then use to get all the way to the Top of the Church of $cientology and start screwing with them from the inside.

Ultimately with a Bil I'd probably end up doing a sort of The Magic Christian type thing


Offline a pretty girl is like

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2008, 07:07:52 PM »
I would also buy a puppy.

I'm all out for kicks...and every inch of me spells EXCITEMENT!


Offline Tripe

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #12 on: March 26, 2008, 07:09:20 PM »
Good one, I'd have a living carpet of Pomeranians and Papillions  :)


Offline a pretty girl is like

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2008, 07:13:19 PM »
I would also change the breed name to Australian Sheep Hound because that's what I've always called them and that's what I'll always call them no matter what my wife says is their real breed name.
I'm all out for kicks...and every inch of me spells EXCITEMENT!


Doctor Who?

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Re: One Billion Dollars
« Reply #14 on: March 26, 2008, 07:53:47 PM »
1)start a chain of diners that serves nothing but meat.

2)kill one of every animal on the planet.

3)make a good movie version of Dune

4)buy jamming system that will block G4 and Spike Tv from the airwaves

5)buy every house on the block and built the world's bigest pool where they are now standing.

6)buy a working Dalek costume.

7)put MST3k back on the air.