The goofiest movie?

[JohnH]

Wow.

There's a certain class of blockbuster that depends heavily on its shouting characters, its swooping camera shots, and it's profound sense of pseudo-artistry, to distract the viewer from the fact that it's amazingly absurd.  Laugh-out-loud absurd.  Movies whose only defense against the audience spontaneously laughing is by shouting at them, or winking and nudging them in the side, or putting on a wizard's beard and proclaiming "GAZE AND WONDER!", over and over for nearly their entire running time.

Beowulf is a particularly bad example of the type.  There's a bit where naked Beowulf, who for several full minutes has been beating up misshapen, Popeye-like Grendel, and the shots are constantly arranged to avoid staring at the Mysterious Spot where Wulfie's computer-rendered, polygon-shaded techno-junk would be... and I lost it.  I started laughing, regardless of the riffing.  This is a profoundly goofy movie, but it takes itself so deadly seriously.  It takes itself seriously even though it contains a cyber-midget!  It contains sex with a lizardy Angelina Jolie, even though close-up shots make it clear she bears no naughty bits!

The movie so desperately wants to be taken seriously, with its pretentious basis, its revisionism of the epic poem, its Neil Gaiman screenplay, its ambigous morality, and its big-name "actors," but it should never be taken anything close to seriously.  It was even in 3D in some venues!  In others it was IMAX, a.k.a. 3D 2000!  It was even directed by Back To The Future writer Robert Zemeckis!

I submit that no other movie has taken itself so seriously yet sucked so hard.  Thoughts on this?  (Handing over microphone.)

[gammer]

There's a bit where naked Beowulf, who for several full minutes has been beating up misshapen, Popeye-like Grendel, and the shots are constantly arranged to avoid staring at the Mysterious Spot where Wulfie's computer-rendered, polygon-shaded techno-junk would be... and I lost it.  I started laughing, regardless of the riffing. 

Have you seen the Simpsons movie?
The scene with Bart skateboarding naked?...that was a classic -in your face Hollywood- joke. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Anyway, I couldn't help but think of that skateboarding scene where they try so hard to cover up Bart's weiner, and then they do nothing but show only it.
It would have been hilarious, but certainly not going to happen, if they did something like that in Beowulf.

[RobtheBarbarian]

There's a bit where naked Beowulf, who for several full minutes has been beating up misshapen, Popeye-like Grendel, and the shots are constantly arranged to avoid staring at the Mysterious Spot where Wulfie's computer-rendered, polygon-shaded techno-junk would be... and I lost it.  I started laughing, regardless of the riffing. 

I did the same thing at that part when I first saw it without the riff. Something about people and objects throwing themselves in front of Beowulf's junk again and again and getting there just in time struck me as really funny. Especially since that scene was bookended by deadly seriousness.

[cfkane]

There's a bit where naked Beowulf, who for several full minutes has been beating up misshapen, Popeye-like Grendel, and the shots are constantly arranged to avoid staring at the Mysterious Spot where Wulfie's computer-rendered, polygon-shaded techno-junk would be... and I lost it.  I started laughing, regardless of the riffing. 

I did the same thing at that part when I first saw it without the riff. Something about people and objects throwing themselves in front of Beowulf's junk again and again and getting there just in time struck me as really funny. Especially since that scene was bookended by deadly seriousness.

Agreed. They should have either kept him in some form of garment or just shown him naked. FCC be damned.

[GLaDOS]

I submit that no other movie has taken itself so seriously yet sucked so hard.  Thoughts on this?  (Handing over microphone.)

How about 300? Pure brainless shit treated as art.

I think Beowulf was much, MUCH worse than 300. In fact I think 300 is God by comparison.

[GLaDOS]

Well, okay, I haven't seen Beowulf. But I think 300 suffers from that whole "Oh, I'm -such- a good, serious, artistic movie" syndrome.

That's probably true.

[a pretty girl is like]

I think the two Matrix movies were the most full of themselves so far.  I submit the Architect, the rave to save Zion, the spoon that is not there, and people batteries.

[Darth Geek]

You forgot to submit the Mirovingion (sp?). He was even worse than the Architect, because at least the Architect's stupid prattle actually had something to do with the plot of the movie.

[gammer]

I submit that no other movie has taken itself so seriously yet sucked so hard.  Thoughts on this?  (Handing over microphone.)

How about 300? Pure brainless shit treated as art.

I think Beowulf was much, MUCH worse than 300. In fact I think 300 is God by comparison.

I honestly thought the story and character development was WAY better in Beowulf than 300.

Beowulf actually had me thinking in the movie, whereas 300 was more of a brainless action flick.

[I Superfly]

I don't think any Rifftrax associated film so far has been as bad as Beowulf.  I remember Jurassic Park being pretty awful, but that was a couple of college fund's worth of Bushmill's ago that I saw it. 

The full CGI production really accented the suck in my eyes.  With live actors at least you might have been able to appreciate a performance somewhere in there, but that was not even an option.  Of course Ray Winstone would have been playing the faux Gimli part instead of Beowulf in that case. 

I also thought it was funny how all the other actors got CGI makeovers, but Angelina Jolie was spot on recreation... well, the face at least, I can't be certain about the rest of the anatomy there.  I guess there's a certain subsection of the population who finds her fascinating, but I can't figure it out, much like my dad's fixation on 80's-era Kim Basinger.

[RoninFox]

I also thought it was funny how all the other actors got CGI makeovers, but Angelina Jolie was spot on recreation... well, the face at least, I can't be certain about the rest of the anatomy there.

I'm under a court order not to show them, but I have photographic proof that Angelina Jolie does in fact have a dragon's tail growing out of the back of her head and that her feet have grown into natural spike-heels.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

Um, no, not really. o.0

I don't think it's terribly goofy. I think that if it went with a 100% faithful adaptation, you would be complaining about it being too vapid or something.

Why does 3-D automatically mean that something sucks?

I think it works fine with the "the epic story is a cover up, here's the REAL story" bit. I think it would also work fine without it.

It delivers what it promises. Anybody who knows anything about beowulf would know that the point of it was to have a beefy guy kill monsters. A lot of big nasty monsters. Cool-looking monsters. Without armor or shields or anything. At some points, kill them with his bare hands.

I think that this goal has been spectacularly accomplished.

People kvetch about the CGI. You know what? I LIKED the CGI. I thought it was good CGI, and it worked fine. I don't think it's "cheap" or anything. I just think the creators wanted to go with an all-CGI movie, and I was perfectly happy to go along with that.

Goofiest? You think this is goofy? Have you heard about one of the graphic novel adaptations of "Beowulf"? No? Well let me enlighten you.

In this one, Beowulf had a girlfriend. Not a wife. A girlfriend. Her name was something like "Stacy". Meet the dream team: Beowulf, Widgulf, Unferth, Hrothgar, and Stacy.

this is the goofiest movie?

What about STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL? What about Blue"The FBI pays me to surf, lets use Keanu Reeves AND Patrick Sweyze"Crush? What about Top "HIIIIIGH WAAAAY TOOO THE Danger Zone!" Gun, AKA The Starfighters plus Cocky Unlovable Scientologist?

You call this "pretentious"? o.0 Really? Do we live on the same planet? Have you ever wasted a netflix slot on "Shadow of the Vampire"? Have you ever actually listened to the director's commentary track on your Aeon Fluux DVD?

I know rifftrax is a forum that's heavy on complaining and derision, but really.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I just thought it didn't seem to go anywhere. We knew Schleck was a vampire all the time, so it didn't come as a big revelation. It didn't have much meat plot-wise, and it focused on the bits I wasn't that interested in, while ignoring some things like, how did this guy find a real vampire?

[Sheik Yerbouti]

Personally, I think Beowulf was far from the worst or the goofiest movie Rifftrax has done so far.  The Star Wars Holiday Special wins in both categories and Battlefield Earth isn't far behind.  I still didn't like the movie much though, it takes itself so totally seriously even at its most absurd moments like the 'hide the digi-weenie' part.  And the main character is not somebody I want to watch for an hour and a half.  He's an unlikable. lying  thug.  Sure, I get it, that's the POINT but it doesn't make the movie any more appealing.  By the way, it's possible to make a great movie centered around a lying, thieving thug with no redeeming qualities at all.  It's called Goodfellas.  Its so damn good that even Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco can't ruin it.  And it didn't need no stinkin' CGI boobies, neither.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I think that the screen's Beowulf is pretty flawed, but he's almost honest within context. The king serves as a foil. Sure, Beowulf is a braggart, a lyer, and a chunkhead, but unlike His Royal Mantits du Hrothgar, Beowulf dealt with the consequences of his own actions, taking on the monster that was created by his seed rather than leaving some young wannabee to risk it. In the end he sorta redeems himself, and there's some hope that with beowulf's actions, and if his sidekick resists temptation, the horrible pattern may be broken.

Frankly, I think Beowulf's entire culture was a culture of jerks. Thuggishness, pride verging on obnoxious arrogance, and thick skulled stupidity were core virtues in that savage world. I think those values still are an integral part of the western culture, only now we worship people who manage to be the most snarky, disdainful twerps in chat forums , glorify misanthropic action heroes, and hold those whose solemn duty is to kill foreigners in large numbers a place of honor.

However, that said, Beowulf still does seem like a bit of a dickweed, and any alleged message or social commentary doesn't make up for the amount that detracts from your viewing experience.

...I still think Beowulf is a better human and a more sympathetic character than the protagonist in "Cocktail" or "Top Gun" though.