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Author Topic: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews  (Read 16551 times)

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Offline orionpaxxx

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #210 on: March 16, 2008, 05:32:13 PM »
I no longer have to hide out in the womens bathroom. I just use small camera and transmit them to my cell phone. Here take a look at what your secretary is doing to your coffee!

Do you have any problems with cutting your hair?
If there was a transformer that was a hybrid, do you think the other Autobots would make fun of him or be envious?


Offline RoninFox

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #211 on: March 16, 2008, 05:34:41 PM »
Most of the problems will be suffered by the poor poor fool who tries to cut it.

How would you best market our product?
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Offline Nick

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #212 on: March 17, 2008, 08:43:17 AM »
Here at our company, we truly care for our customers. If you don't buy our product, don't sweat it. We'll have friendly men in Black sedans come over to your house to help you understand how our product is better that anyone else's and if you buy the competitors again so help me God We will kill you! Ehem, we truly care. :)

What best motivates you to do a good job?
Killing me won't bring back your Goddamned honey!


Doctor Who?

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #213 on: March 17, 2008, 10:05:54 AM »
The knowledge  that if I do one day you will trust me and leave me alone with the open company safe.

Do people like you?


Offline Raven

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #214 on: March 17, 2008, 11:16:05 AM »
I have the charisma of a serial killer.  The good kind.

There isn't any vacation time until a year on the job.  Is that a problem?


Offline LBeria

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #215 on: March 17, 2008, 12:18:07 PM »
And is that 365 days consecutively?  'Cause, man, I sure know YOU don't work that way!

There are no funds for a permanent change of station (i.e. move you to where the job is).  How soon will you be on-site?
You're such a survivalist gun nut.
Only the good die young...but most people are morally ambiguous which explains our random dying patterns. -- Tom Servo


Offline daltysmilth

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #216 on: March 18, 2008, 04:27:20 PM »
I've tuned up my cotton gin and restocked the leeches in my first-aid kit.

What would you do if you discovered that a co-worker was using a company-owned computer to download pornographic materials from the internet on company time?
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Doctor Who?

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #217 on: March 18, 2008, 04:54:46 PM »
I would beat him to death with a pen.

Do you believe costumer safety is important?


Offline Raven

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #218 on: March 18, 2008, 05:06:19 PM »
Indeed, as long as they are a safe distance from me, I'm happy.

Have you ever been fired from a job and if so, why?


Offline bettertomorrowamy

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #219 on: March 18, 2008, 08:12:16 PM »
Yes, for being too sexy.  Scoff if you must, but women dig it (a little too much) when you free-ball while wearing your 5-year-old crotch-ripped jeans to work.

Will you take a psychological test?
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Offline orionpaxxx

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #220 on: March 18, 2008, 08:21:25 PM »
Let me confer with my voices....yes we think it will be just fine.

This job requires you to be in top physical shape.  Do you have a regiment to keep your self in good physical condition?
If there was a transformer that was a hybrid, do you think the other Autobots would make fun of him or be envious?


Offline bettertomorrowamy

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #221 on: March 18, 2008, 08:23:23 PM »
Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Name five things you do very well to extremely well.
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Offline Raven

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #222 on: March 18, 2008, 08:48:21 PM »
1. Follow directions
2. Counting to 5

Do you see making this into your career?


Doctor Who?

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #223 on: March 18, 2008, 09:06:01 PM »
No I am just going to stick around long enough to get a credit card in your name and then I am gone.

How would you handle a shoplifter?


Offline LBeria

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #224 on: March 19, 2008, 12:15:58 PM »
Depends on how big he is....you didn't say anything about having to be able to lift large weights without assistance!!

Do you have a close relative who works for this company?
You're such a survivalist gun nut.
Only the good die young...but most people are morally ambiguous which explains our random dying patterns. -- Tom Servo