Author Topic: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews (Read 16679 times)

orionpaxxx · « **Reply #225 on:** March 19, 2008, 01:52:30 PM »

My cousin Amy works here but we aren't close or intimate anymore since I caught her in bed with her brother...

What do you think is the most important quality in an employee?

LBeria · « **Reply #226 on:** March 20, 2008, 08:03:38 AM »

A pulse, but that can be optional these days....

Would you be willing to take a survey regarding our interview practices?

Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck · « **Reply #227 on:** March 20, 2008, 10:18:44 AM »

No, thank you. I've done the interview. Unemployment will be happy enough. I have tickets for the cockfights in an hour.

What office machines are you able to use?

RVR II · « **Reply #228 on:** March 20, 2008, 10:21:07 AM »

The Shreader! I was Awsome at Enron.. Uh..

Tell me your plans for your future.

daltysmilth · « **Reply #229 on:** March 20, 2008, 07:42:58 PM »

Well, from here I'm headed down to my cousin Bernie's to get baked, and then if we're coherent enough after that, we'll probably hit the bars and get drunk off our hinders for the rest of the evening.

Are you good at setting priorities for yourself?

Raven · « **Reply #230 on:** March 22, 2008, 06:20:54 PM »

Yep sleep first, food second, Playstation 3, and so on.

Have you ever worked for a similar company?

anais.jude · « **Reply #231 on:** March 22, 2008, 07:58:31 PM »

Well I had to be loyal in the mafia, so, yes?

Would you be willing to travel?

Raven · « **Reply #232 on:** March 23, 2008, 11:56:07 PM »

I'll travel to the vending machine and back.

Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

bettertomorrowamy · « **Reply #233 on:** March 24, 2008, 01:08:27 PM »

Wearing your skin as a smoking jacket.

Why do you want to work for us?

orionpaxxx · « **Reply #234 on:** March 28, 2008, 01:18:35 AM »

Your secretary has huge jugs.

Have you ever woked with operating systems other than Windows?

LBeria · « **Reply #235 on:** March 29, 2008, 06:14:04 PM »

Yeah, but when those breast implants exploded all over the room....well, the hospital wasn't too happy....

How many pens have you stolen from previous jobs during your working career?

daltysmilth · « **Reply #236 on:** March 29, 2008, 09:27:57 PM »

Well, a lot, but it was for a good cause. I'm using them to build a life-size recreation of the Spirit Of St. Louis made entirely out of office supplies.

Would you ever play computer games on company time?

orionpaxxx · « **Reply #237 on:** March 29, 2008, 11:01:11 PM »

No I am more into hardcore internet porn. Don't worry I bring my own lotion.

This job requires you to be on call. Do you have cell phone or pager?

Raven · « **Reply #238 on:** March 30, 2008, 01:05:37 AM »

I only work with carrier pigeons.

Would you be willing to undergo a psychological examination?

Bus Taker · « **Reply #239 on:** April 01, 2008, 10:41:04 PM »

Let's cut the pedantic bullshit and talk honestly.

Author Topic: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews (Read 16679 times)

orionpaxxx

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LBeria

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Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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RVR II

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daltysmilth

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Raven

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anais.jude

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Raven

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bettertomorrowamy

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orionpaxxx

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LBeria

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daltysmilth

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orionpaxxx

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Raven

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Bus Taker

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