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Author Topic: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews  (Read 16441 times)

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Offline orionpaxxx

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #225 on: March 19, 2008, 01:52:30 PM »
My cousin Amy works here but we aren't close or intimate anymore since I caught her in bed with her brother...

What do you think is the most important quality in an employee?
If there was a transformer that was a hybrid, do you think the other Autobots would make fun of him or be envious?


Offline LBeria

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #226 on: March 20, 2008, 08:03:38 AM »
A pulse, but that can be optional these days....

Would you be willing to take a survey regarding our interview practices?
You're such a survivalist gun nut.
Only the good die young...but most people are morally ambiguous which explains our random dying patterns. -- Tom Servo


Offline Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #227 on: March 20, 2008, 10:18:44 AM »
No, thank you.  I've done the interview.  Unemployment will be happy enough.  I have tickets for the cockfights in an hour.

What office machines are you able to use?


Online RVR II

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #228 on: March 20, 2008, 10:21:07 AM »
The Shreader! I was Awsome at Enron.. Uh.. :speechless:

Tell me your plans for your future.


Offline daltysmilth

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #229 on: March 20, 2008, 07:42:58 PM »
Well, from here I'm headed down to my cousin Bernie's to get baked, and then if we're coherent enough after that, we'll probably hit the bars and get drunk off our hinders for the rest of the evening.

Are you good at setting priorities for yourself?
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Offline Raven

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #230 on: March 22, 2008, 06:20:54 PM »
Yep sleep first, food second,  Playstation 3, and so on. 

Have you ever worked for a similar company?


anais.jude

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #231 on: March 22, 2008, 07:58:31 PM »
Well I had to be loyal in the mafia, so, yes?



Would you be willing to travel?


Offline Raven

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #232 on: March 23, 2008, 11:56:07 PM »
I'll travel to the vending machine and back.

Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?


Offline bettertomorrowamy

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #233 on: March 24, 2008, 01:08:27 PM »
Wearing your skin as a smoking jacket.

Why do you want to work for us?
On timeout


Offline orionpaxxx

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #234 on: March 28, 2008, 01:18:35 AM »
Your secretary has huge jugs.

Have you ever woked with operating systems other than Windows?
If there was a transformer that was a hybrid, do you think the other Autobots would make fun of him or be envious?


Offline LBeria

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #235 on: March 29, 2008, 06:14:04 PM »
Yeah, but when those breast implants exploded all over the room....well, the hospital wasn't too happy....

How many pens have you stolen from previous jobs during your working career?
You're such a survivalist gun nut.
Only the good die young...but most people are morally ambiguous which explains our random dying patterns. -- Tom Servo


Offline daltysmilth

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #236 on: March 29, 2008, 09:27:57 PM »
Well, a lot, but it was for a good cause.  I'm using them to build a life-size recreation of the Spirit Of St. Louis made entirely out of office supplies.

Would you ever play computer games on company time?
CROW:  (Sinisterly) The Secret Government Eggo Project...
--Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

"Jason, Chess is a game of chance."
-- My friend Shawn to my friend Jason upon being defeated at a game of Chess.

http://gh.ffshrine.org?r=112104


Offline orionpaxxx

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #237 on: March 29, 2008, 11:01:11 PM »
No I am more into hardcore internet porn. Don't worry I bring my own lotion.

This job requires you to be on call. Do you have  cell phone or pager?
If there was a transformer that was a hybrid, do you think the other Autobots would make fun of him or be envious?


Offline Raven

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #238 on: March 30, 2008, 01:05:37 AM »
I only work with carrier pigeons.

Would you be willing to undergo a psychological examination?


Offline Bus Taker

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #239 on: April 01, 2008, 10:41:04 PM »
Let's cut the pedantic bullshit and talk honestly.
"I can't complain but sometimes I still do, life's been good to me so far." - Joe Walsh