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Author Topic: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews  (Read 18184 times)

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Offline gammer

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #150 on: March 11, 2008, 08:31:49 AM »
Well I can bench 220 and I don't take shit from customers.

If you get this job you will be given allot of "duties". How will you manage your time so you can get to all of your "dooties"? I mean, if you don't to your "doodies", we will come down on you pretty hard...for not doing your "duites".
« Last Edit: March 11, 2008, 08:33:25 AM by gammer »


Offline daltysmilth

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #151 on: March 11, 2008, 01:44:26 PM »
I'll do anything you ask me to do as long as I'm already doing it when you ask me to do it.

Would you be willing to work overtime with no pay?
CROW:  (Sinisterly) The Secret Government Eggo Project...
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-- My friend Shawn to my friend Jason upon being defeated at a game of Chess.

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anais.jude

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #152 on: March 11, 2008, 01:54:46 PM »
would you be willing to live with no spine?


does work place traffic disturb you?


Offline hare.29

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #153 on: March 11, 2008, 02:01:25 PM »
And here's one from the hiring side (for a postdoc position):
How the hell did your advisor let you out of the lab with that presentation?! No data, no conclusions, no motivation, and it was only half as long as it should be?! I've seen undergrads give better talks!
*inspired by a true story*
 


Offline bettertomorrowamy

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #154 on: March 11, 2008, 02:35:00 PM »
Having to hurdle Hare's post was a challenge, but I think I did well.

Do you have adequate footwear for the job?
On timeout


Offline Raven

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #155 on: March 11, 2008, 03:00:03 PM »
I always wear steel toed boots, I don't trust your fat ass not to break my toes.

Would you like to join union or negotiate your own contract?


Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #156 on: March 12, 2008, 05:46:12 AM »
How the hell did your advisor let you out of the lab with that presentation?! No data, no conclusions, no motivation, and it was only half as long as it should be?! I've seen undergrads give better talks!
*inspired by a true story*

Well, I'll be honest.  I was only let out of lab because my advisor got mad at me for lifting my leg on the eyewash station and refusing to go on the papers.  I only presented it today, despite the fact that it had none of... well, that stuff, because I couldn't find any squirrels to chase in the field.

And don't you dare compare this to what an undergrad can do!  To think that my 12 year old sister did all this work just to be insulted by you!  Of all the nerve!

Would you like to join union or negotiate your own contract?

I'll negotiate my own contract, whatever that means.  I heard Union was a crappy college, anyway.  Nah, I'll put together my own contract, and I insist on being paid out of trade.  (Currently applying for a job at the city morgue.)

You find a wallet on the ground with $300.00 in.  What do you do with it?


Offline orionpaxxx

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #157 on: March 12, 2008, 06:57:17 AM »
I'd head to the nearest strip club and get f'ed up!!

We here have a strict no smoking policy here at work. Would that be a problem?
If there was a transformer that was a hybrid, do you think the other Autobots would make fun of him or be envious?


Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #158 on: March 12, 2008, 07:06:55 AM »
Tch.  Try asking that to the charred corpses of my co-workers.  But you can't pin anything on me!

Under what conditions do you feel you work the best?


Offline LBeria

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #159 on: March 12, 2008, 07:12:23 AM »
Unsupervised, overpaid, and with limitless comp time....that's what you have, right?

This position will require you to travel to areas with austere and possibly hazardous living conditions for up to 90-days at a time with only 24-hours notice.  Is that a problem?

(That question is actually part of my job description!)
You're such a survivalist gun nut.
Only the good die young...but most people are morally ambiguous which explains our random dying patterns. -- Tom Servo


anais.jude

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #160 on: March 12, 2008, 07:14:50 AM »
I get to go to Disneyland! Cool!



do you have problems coming to work on time


Offline orionpaxxx

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #161 on: March 12, 2008, 07:36:19 AM »
I've never timed it. Let me whip it out and we can see.

Do you have reliable tranportation to and from work?
If there was a transformer that was a hybrid, do you think the other Autobots would make fun of him or be envious?


Offline daltysmilth

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #162 on: March 12, 2008, 10:53:47 AM »
Of course.  You do have a helipad where I can park my chopper, don't you?

How did you hear about us?
CROW:  (Sinisterly) The Secret Government Eggo Project...
--Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

"Jason, Chess is a game of chance."
-- My friend Shawn to my friend Jason upon being defeated at a game of Chess.

http://gh.ffshrine.org?r=112104


Offline LBeria

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #163 on: March 12, 2008, 11:34:58 AM »
I didn't.  I was walking past and thought to myself, "Boy, this place sure needs someone who knows what the hell they're doing!"

If we asked you to present a report to the board of directors regarding our budget shortfalls today, what is the first thing you would do?
You're such a survivalist gun nut.
Only the good die young...but most people are morally ambiguous which explains our random dying patterns. -- Tom Servo


Offline Fortis

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #164 on: March 12, 2008, 12:18:11 PM »
Clean house...

If this company were a family, would you consider yourself the father, or the little brother?