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Author Topic: God has spoken to me!  (Read 9231 times)

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anais.jude

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God has spoken to me!
« on: February 19, 2008, 09:56:49 AM »
God has informed me that I am to be the prophet of his new religion. This is a religion that believes the soul remains in in the flesh, and if the flesh has had a negative life, that energy will pass unto the person who eats said flesh (hence the veganism).
God has also commanded me that I must spread my love (my physical love) around, and, therefore, I am to have more than one husband! (sign ups to occur shortly)

Anyone who wishes to follow God's true path, please place 5 dollars into an envelope and mail it to me.


Thank You
Empress Anais


Offline Tripe

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2008, 09:58:17 AM »
Now now yer highness you live in one of the cradles of the true religion Voodoo, don't turn your back on it ;)


Offline jewishcarpenter

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #2 on: February 19, 2008, 09:58:43 AM »
Well if all else fails "Free Kool-Aid everybody!", good luck.


anais.jude

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #3 on: February 19, 2008, 10:01:18 AM »
Now now yer highness you live in one of the cradles of the true religion Voodoo, don't turn your back on it ;)

Voodooism does not help me attain three husbands or get tax exempt status (which god told me I must do)


Offline Tripe

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #4 on: February 19, 2008, 10:06:20 AM »
Well join my Erzilitic Congregation of Pan then. Our central tennet is : Everybody Gets Laid.


anais.jude

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2008, 10:07:13 AM »
Well join my Erzilitic Congregation of Pan then. Our central tennet is : Everybody Gets Laid.

God as told me you yours is not the true religion. And it is a bit different than "everyone getting laid"


Offline Tripe

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2008, 10:09:51 AM »
We can amend the tennets a bit for you yer higness: Everybody Lays Anais,


Offline RVR II

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2008, 10:13:14 AM »
God has informed me that I am to be the prophet of his new religion. This is a religion that believes the soul remains in in the flesh, and if the flesh has had a negative life, that energy will pass unto the person who eats said flesh (hence the veganism).
God has also commanded me that I must spread my love (my physical love) around, and, therefore, I am to have more than one husband! (sign ups to occur shortly)

Anyone who wishes to follow God's true path, please place 5 dollars into an envelope and mail it to me.


Thank You
Empress Anais
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


anais.jude

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2008, 10:15:25 AM »
We can amend the tennets a bit for you yer higness: Everybody Lays Anais,


mmmmmmm. No, i want a handful of men who can only lay with me. Plus, what about my the vegan thing. Are you people Vegan? Because if you are not, you are heathens (although my husbands don't have to be vegans because the ones I have in mind god told me to choose wouldn't be down with that


Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #9 on: February 19, 2008, 10:18:50 AM »
No, I'm happy worshipping Bruce Campbell at the Chrurch of Badassism, but thank you for the offer.


Offline esoobaC .T bocaJ

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2008, 10:22:49 AM »
ALL HAIL THE TEMPLE OF LOGICOMETRY :angry:
 ;D


flesyht etah tsum uoy ,flesyht evas oT


anais.jude

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2008, 10:24:09 AM »
No, I'm happy worshipping Bruce Campbell at the Chrurch of Badassism, but thank you for the offer.

But if Bruce Campbell becomes one of my husbands, what will you do?


Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #12 on: February 19, 2008, 10:56:59 AM »
Well, then I guess I'd have to pay $5.00 to the Church of Badassism.  It'd get to you eventually.


Offline Tripe

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #13 on: February 19, 2008, 11:21:31 AM »
Plus, what about my the vegan thing. Are you people Vegan? Because if you are not, you are heathens

Well it's not strictly "vegetarian" if you know what I mean ;)


Offline jewishcarpenter

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #14 on: February 19, 2008, 11:28:10 AM »
Thor's not involved? This religion is stupid.