Author Topic: God has spoken to me!  (Read 9261 times)

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Offline esoobaC .T bocaJ

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #45 on: February 19, 2008, 01:42:11 PM »
 Well, I can't join. I'm already my own diety with Pak as my devoted follower/prophet and to join another religion would basically mean I'm not God, which is totally incorrect. The religion centered around me is awesome, though. I allow human cannibalism (obviously), mass orgies and idiots are put to death immediatly. My religion also bans celebrities, working for a living and politicians. I don't require money to join, only a first born son (or daughter. Sexism is banned also) to be sacrificed, roasted in a delicately spiced sauce, and eaten by my followers before the daily mass orgy begins. We also have weekly tupperware parties.  All hail Tyrant!!!!

the Temple acknowledges the Tyrant as a deity, and is prepared to take any action necessary to assist the Tyrant in it's mission.



until the time comes


 
flesyht etah tsum uoy ,flesyht evas oT


Offline Tyrant

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #46 on: February 19, 2008, 01:48:06 PM »
 Well, I can't join. I'm already my own diety with Pak as my devoted follower/prophet and to join another religion would basically mean I'm not God, which is totally incorrect. The religion centered around me is awesome, though. I allow human cannibalism (obviously), mass orgies and idiots are put to death immediatly. My religion also bans celebrities, working for a living and politicians. I don't require money to join, only a first born son (or daughter. Sexism is banned also) to be sacrificed, roasted in a delicately spiced sauce, and eaten by my followers before the daily mass orgy begins. We also have weekly tupperware parties.  All hail Tyrant!!!!

the Temple acknowledges the Tyrant as a deity, and is prepared to take any action necessary to assist the Tyrant in it's mission.



until the time comes


 

....when all the world shall worship at my feet. Amen.


anais.jude

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #47 on: February 19, 2008, 01:50:19 PM »
 Well, I can't join. I'm already my own diety with Pak as my devoted follower/prophet and to join another religion would basically mean I'm not God, which is totally incorrect. The religion centered around me is awesome, though. I allow human cannibalism (obviously), mass orgies and idiots are put to death immediatly. My religion also bans celebrities, working for a living and politicians. I don't require money to join, only a first born son (or daughter. Sexism is banned also) to be sacrificed, roasted in a delicately spiced sauce, and eaten by my followers before the daily mass orgy begins. We also have weekly tupperware parties.  All hail Tyrant!!!!

the Temple acknowledges the Tyrant as a deity, and is prepared to take any action necessary to assist the Tyrant in it's mission.



until the time comes


 

....when all the world shall worship at my feet. Amen.


Yea, i guess that religion is ok if you only want *one* husband, which i think is a waste of your prowess


Offline Tripe

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #48 on: February 19, 2008, 02:07:00 PM »
I say you prove your anointed status in some sort of Messalina-Scylla  type competition. ;)


Offline jewishcarpenter

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #49 on: February 19, 2008, 02:13:17 PM »
I was raised Guttentarian.  We worship this man:



Now naturally, as I grew up, my faith faded somewhat.  Now I'm more of an aguttenostic.  But if you'd like more information on the Church of Steve Guttenberg of Latter-Day Steves, consult your local wellness center.



He is always with us.  Amen.
Screw you guys and your secret handshakes.


anais.jude

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #50 on: February 19, 2008, 02:17:04 PM »
I say you prove your anointed status in some sort of Messalina-Scylla  type competition. ;)


It will have to happen at the San Diego meet-up...which I don't think you are coming to. Too bad, so sad


Offline Tripe

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #51 on: February 19, 2008, 02:18:32 PM »
So, won't put your faith on the line eh?


Offline Tyrant

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #52 on: February 19, 2008, 02:23:05 PM »
I say you prove your anointed status in some sort of Messalina-Scylla  type competition. ;)


It will have to happen at the San Diego meet-up...which I don't think you are coming to. Too bad, so sad

  We can videotape it so those who don't make it can witness my glory. I was bringing the camcorder anyway. For blackmailing purposes.


Offline Tripe

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #53 on: February 19, 2008, 02:24:35 PM »
Well I think I can get you distribution deals in Japan and Western Europe, somebody else will have to handle other markets. :)


Offline Tyrant

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #54 on: February 19, 2008, 02:27:20 PM »
Well I think I can get you distribution deals in Japan and Western Europe, somebody else will have to handle other markets. :)

 That sounds cool. I'm planning on adding a nice intro to the footage. Some credits at the end, and a nice musical soundtrack. And a star-wipe. There's gotta be a star-wipe somewhere in there....


Offline Courtney

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #55 on: February 19, 2008, 02:53:18 PM »
I was raised Guttentarian.  We worship this man:



Now naturally, as I grew up, my faith faded somewhat.  Now I'm more of an aguttenostic.  But if you'd like more information on the Church of Steve Guttenberg of Latter-Day Steves, consult your local wellness center.



He is always with us.  Amen.
Screw you guys and your secret handshakes.

Michael Winslow performs our services through sound effect noises.




Offline FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?!

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #56 on: February 19, 2008, 03:30:14 PM »
  Well, I can't join. I'm already my own diety with Pak as my devoted follower/prophet and to join another religion would basically mean I'm not God, which is totally incorrect. The religion centered around me is awesome, though. I allow human cannibalism (obviously), mass orgies and idiots are put to death immediatly. My religion also bans celebrities, working for a living and politicians. I don't require money to join, only a first born son (or daughter. Sexism is banned also) to be sacrificed, roasted in a delicately spiced sauce, and eaten by my followers before the daily mass orgy begins. We also have weekly tupperware parties.  All hail Tyrant!!!!

the Temple acknowledges the Tyrant as a deity, and is prepared to take any action necessary to assist the Tyrant in it's mission.



until the time comes


 

....when all the world shall worship at my feet. Amen.
before being crushed beneath the feet of my diety. amen.


Offline Tripe

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #57 on: February 19, 2008, 04:44:18 PM »
Hey Anais,

Sometimes my mind does it's own thing in the background without me consciously thinking about stuff.

While I was making dinner an answer to this post :

Now now yer highness you live in one of the cradles of the true religion Voodoo, don't turn your back on it ;)
Voodooism does not help me attain three husbands or get tax exempt status (which god told me I must do)

Actually, it could, considering your religion is essential a fertility one and you want three husbands. You can actually get that using some Voodoo-Hoodoo trappings. The Lwa of Beauty/love/sex/femininity Erzuli has three husbands (she typically wears three wedding rings one  each for Dambala, Agwe and Legba).

Tax Exempt status is a piece of piss one you establish a authentic enough theological frame work.

Yes I know, I'm odd ::)


Offline FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?!

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #58 on: February 19, 2008, 08:08:56 PM »
i wish i had a top hat like legba


anais.jude

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Re: God has spoken to me!
« Reply #59 on: February 19, 2008, 08:34:05 PM »
People! God Commands you STOP posting and re-posting pictures of Steve Gutenberg sans shirt!