Poll

Which Steven Seagal movie would you like to see riffed?

On Deadly Ground
2 (9.5%)
Exit Wounds
2 (9.5%)
Submerged
1 (4.8%)
Fire Down Below
0 (0%)
Marked For Death
1 (4.8%)
Nico/Above The Law
1 (4.8%)
Out For Justice
2 (9.5%)
Under Seige
11 (52.4%)
Other
1 (4.8%)

Total Members Voted: 21


Author Topic: Segal Movies  (Read 2490 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Cap'n UKRiffer

  • Big Montana
  • *****
  • Posts: 564
  • Liked: 1
  • Leader Of The Justice Riff League Europe
Segal Movies
« on: November 08, 2006, 03:40:11 PM »
Most of Seagals movies kinda blur into one though as he's the same in everyone... and i should know, i've got them all  ;D
In brightest day, in darkest night
No DVD shall escape their sight
Let those who tremble in bad movies light,
Beware the power, Rifftrax's might!


Offline Cibernético II

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1212
  • Liked: 0
  • Vadinho says: YOU are the Pumaman.
    • My Space
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2006, 03:54:52 PM »
I'd like to see Half Past Dead. Seagal looks seriously bloated (purhaps as the namesake of the film) in some rediculously unbelievable role of undercover secret agent or something. And it stars Ja Rule.... yick


you know. pudgey, aging, out of breath Seagal as a secret agent in this movie, it reminds me greatly of Red Zone Cuba
I really do like pie.


Offline mkiker

  • Blue Beer Drinker
  • **
  • Posts: 29
  • Liked: 0
  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2006, 07:12:00 PM »
Actually Under Siege 2 would be a good one. It's a fun action movie on a train. It has a decent story, great visuals, and enough cheesy fights to put Mike into overtime.

Maybe I'm weird but to me if a movie is REALLY bad, I don't watch it, riffed or not. MST3K wasn't watching bad movies, it was watching the film crew shorts, bits of bad movies, lots of one liners and commercial breaks. A rifftrax sort of requires a movie to be somewhat palatable.
Nun sacciu, nun vidi, nun ceru e si ceru durmiv.

I know nothing, I  see nothing, I wasn't there,
and if I was there, I was asleep.


Offline mrbasehart

  • Steals from Casinos
  • *****
  • Posts: 16364
  • Liked: 2111
  • Movie-Watching Machine
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2006, 08:50:40 PM »
One of his later movies, so the guys can play "spot the stunt double".


Offline Sharktopus

  • Ephialtes
  • *****
  • Posts: 7584
  • Liked: 3
  • May the Porkins be with you.
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2006, 10:13:45 PM »
Any movie costarring a rapper gets my vote.


IronPigeon

  • Guest
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2006, 01:13:09 AM »
Maybe I'm weird but to me if a movie is REALLY bad, I don't watch it, riffed or not. MST3K wasn't watching bad movies, it was watching the film crew shorts, bits of bad movies, lots of one liners and commercial breaks. A rifftrax sort of requires a movie to be somewhat palatable.

The only decent movie I can think of with Segal in it was Executive Decision.  Of course, he died about 20 minutes in. Maybe that had something to do with it.


Offline Cap'n UKRiffer

  • Big Montana
  • *****
  • Posts: 564
  • Liked: 1
  • Leader Of The Justice Riff League Europe
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2006, 05:13:32 AM »
Any movie costarring a rapper gets my vote.

So you got:
Exit Wounds
Half Past Dead
Today You Die
In brightest day, in darkest night
No DVD shall escape their sight
Let those who tremble in bad movies light,
Beware the power, Rifftrax's might!


Offline Sharktopus

  • Ephialtes
  • *****
  • Posts: 7584
  • Liked: 3
  • May the Porkins be with you.
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2006, 09:02:19 PM »
Any movie costarring a rapper gets my vote.

So you got:
Exit Wounds
Half Past Dead
Today You Die

Those all sound like Metallica B-sides.


Offline Atarian

  • Sparkles in Sunlight
  • *
  • Posts: 62
  • Liked: 0
  • New look, same great taste!
    • The Dad Shrine
Re: Seagal Movies
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2006, 12:56:46 PM »
any one will do. seriously :)


Offline Qrusher14242

  • Schnappi Supporter
  • ***
  • Posts: 112
  • Liked: 0
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2006, 05:04:47 PM »
Also, The Patriot would be  good choice. Like a crappy copy of Outbreak


Offline Natureboy

  • Big Montana
  • *****
  • Posts: 875
  • Liked: 0
  • Intelligent, Sensational
    • Easy Talk Cafe
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #10 on: November 12, 2006, 12:01:17 PM »
Submerged is so sucky, they DUB SEAGALS VOICE.  Read the review from my friends over at the Agony Booth.

http://www.agonybooth.com/submerged/


Offline Bob

  • Afraid of the Wind
  • Posts: 21333
  • Liked: 2405
  • Complete waste of time at www.robertpreed.com
    • My Stunning Home Page
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #11 on: November 12, 2006, 03:12:20 PM »
Under Siege Two....... if for no other reason than watching him use a Newton to send a fax to a restaurant.   And the hilarious over the top henchman who gets his butt whipped.   


Offline myspace.com/thejobot

  • Blue Beer Drinker
  • **
  • Posts: 25
  • Liked: 0
    • Joe "The Jobot" Muehter's official site
Anything with Steven Segal
« Reply #12 on: July 07, 2007, 12:55:29 AM »
Its no secret, Steven Segal is the master of bad cinema! Saw a clip on E!'s 'The Soup' of one of his straight-to-video films and thought it would make a good rifftrax. Sorry if this has been suggested already.

Any suggestions on what would be the best Segal film to riff?
RIFFIN' USA!!!!!!


Offline Tripe

  • Stars in Musicals
  • *
  • Posts: 41553
  • Liked: 9928
  • Very dapper
    • Nick Rowley, Voice Artist
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #13 on: July 07, 2007, 07:27:54 AM »
On Deadly Ground Man.

Micheal Cains in it with hair dye by Kiwi shoe polish.
There's a vision quest
There's a naked Eskimo Succubus and hints of gerontophilia
And it has X-Treme Handslapping:

[yt=425,350]ZDgxmhApOo8[/yt]

Hmm, what does it take to change the essence of a man?


Offline myspace.com/thejobot

  • Blue Beer Drinker
  • **
  • Posts: 25
  • Liked: 0
    • Joe "The Jobot" Muehter's official site
Re: Segal Movies
« Reply #14 on: July 07, 2007, 10:33:58 AM »
On Deadly Ground Man.

Micheal Cains in it with hair dye by Kiwi shoe polish.
There's a vision quest
There's a naked Eskimo Succubus and hints of gerontophilia
And it has X-Treme Handslapping:

[yt=425,350]ZDgxmhApOo8[/yt]

Hmm, what does it take to change the essence of a man?


Oh my god, the great actor Michael Caine was in a Segal film....I guess Jaws 4 was not simply a fluke. The again I hear Caine chooses a film based on the catering.

That said, any film with the line 'I've got a big pair of balls right between my legs' is perfect to riff.....it sounds like a line from Troll 2.
RIFFIN' USA!!!!!!