The Perfect Match

[SaucyRossy]

My dream man will:

Laugh at all my stupid bitter jokes.
Like my hair the way it is.
Like my ass the way it is.
Play lots and lots of video games.
Know how to play air guitar like a master.
Know how to catch me when I swoon over his mad air guitar skills.
Be able to move bugs outside and let them be free *out there* instead of squashing them with the bottom of his fist.
Give me pedicures any time I ask.
Put the fooking seat down.
Like beer. A lot.
Hold my purse for a minute when needed and not feel insecure about his masculinity.
Have great taste in movies and not guilt me into watching dumb shit the night it comes out when the theater is crowded with fruitpies.
Appreciate that I have a few days a month where I need a padded room and to be treated like a princess.
Let me keep a spot for my jackalope on the bed if I so desire it.
Protect me/act as a buffer from scary family members during holidays and special occasions.
Open my car door for me.
Be okay with my potty mouth.
Know how to cook so I won't have to. Ever.
Play board games and darts with me.
Be man enough to take dance lessons.
Get me a pony for Christmas.

I am golden with all of that except for the beer part. I mean ewwwww what man likes beer a lot?

[daltysmilth]

I'd like to add some requirements to my list.  She should have:

1. The face/body of Kirsten Dunst,
2. The brain of Groucho Marx, and
3.  An anthropomorphic, wisecracking pet velociraptor who is also an expert hacker.

[SaucyRossy]

I am still confused as to why this was posted on the board games.....

[Stacey]

I am golden with all of that except for the beer part. I mean ewwwww what man likes beer a lot?


[/quote]

I know. Thankfully I aim high and shoot low.

Edit: I don't even know what that means. Please ignore me, I'll go away. 

[Tripe]

I am still confused as to why this was posted on the board games.....

Because the game isn't to list what you actually want in a mate but rather to try and create the most ludicrous set of criteria that nobody could possibly fulfill them.

[Stacey]

>Because the game isn't to list what you actually want in a mate but rather to try and create the most ludicrous set of criteria that nobody could possibly fulfill them.<

Hahahaha!!!! Here's my real list, then. My perfect match would:

Be happy and interested to hear about my day after asking me how mine went.

Have something mildly intelligent to say when I ask him the above.

Challenge men to duels when they stare at my chestal area.

Ride a magical unicorn to work with me on Mondays.

Be Ralph Fiennes. (Or Mike Nelson.)

[Sideswipe]

I need to find a beautiful intelligent woman who loves Transformers.

[Tripe]

I believe Tyrant's taken

[Sideswipe]

d'oh!