I wasn't sure whether the film was good or bad after I saw it since it was like having your skull pounded for two hours. About a year afterwards I realized it's a horrible film. It starts out with mindless action that takes place in the middle of a cartoon nobody saw, with some stupid R2 jokes for entertainment, which is like enjoying the screams of a rape victim since that's essentially what was being done to the "star" droid of the saga by George Lucas. Follow that nonsense up with seemingly hours of nothing, and a hideous looking Natalie Portman that the movie is telling me looks beautiful. Finally, after several weeks, Obi-Wanker flies to some stupid gopher planet and rides some kind of turkey-lizard just so they could sell toys of it, and burns a villain's heart out of his chest with a blaster. Meanwhile Yoda is standing around while some robots fight Wookiees in a montage that manages somehow to be shorter than the clips from the trailer, despite Rick McCallum swearing blind that this epic sequence would open the film. Throw in Chewbacca for no reason and a suspicious absense of Itchy. Meanwhile meanwhile, Anicrap, after hours of stories about Sith lords, realizes Palpasidious is a Sith lord, runs away to tattle, and then comes back and cuts off Mace's hand and turns to the Dark Side, since he apparently really liked Mace a lot, despite no evidence of this. Then he kills a bunch of babies and flies to a lava planet to kill some helpless separatists who have no obvious purpose anyway. And then he fights Obi-Wan. And Yoda fights Darth Purple, and Padamay has two babies, gives magic fake memories to Leia, and dies. And Jar-Jar looks sad. The end. Happy Life Day, everybody!
I thought Episode 2 was a great war movie/film noir. This was a great film NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!