Author Topic: The Monkey's Paw  (Read 38502 times)

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Offline Junkyard

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #15 on: December 08, 2007, 05:08:14 PM »
Unfortunately, that requires you to also be Tony Farms.

I wish I could meet Jessica Alba.


Online Pak-Man

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #16 on: December 08, 2007, 06:40:48 PM »
Unfortunately, that requires you to also be Tony Farms.

I wish I could meet Jessica Alba.

Granted! But when exposed to her actual personality, your preconceptions of her are shattered forever.

I wish I had a stove that's pilot light was always lit.


Offline Tripe

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #17 on: December 08, 2007, 06:52:28 PM »
Granted you now have an electrical stove, no need for a pilot light but frankly nowhere near as good for cooking with.

How I wish that there were more than the twenty-four hours in the day


Offline Junkyard

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #18 on: December 08, 2007, 07:02:48 PM »
Fine, but The Maker left the 25th hour out on purpose. Enjoy having to fight off demons every night!

I wish I was smarter.


Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #19 on: December 08, 2007, 07:14:56 PM »
Granted.  You are now so smart, everybody around you is a complete idiot who can't measure up to your intellect and quite frankly, aren't worth the effort.  You constantly crave social interaction, but cannot get over your crippling fear of all things dim and moronic.  You die a lonely, bitter man whom nobody likes.  But at least you knew when the War of 1812 took place, right?

I wish I could speak Italian.


Offline Tripe

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #20 on: December 08, 2007, 07:18:47 PM »
Granted however it's 14th century Italian and you have lost the ability to speak or understand any other language or even any other form of Italian.

I wish I could be in two places at one time.



Offline Junkyard

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #21 on: December 08, 2007, 07:22:54 PM »
Oooookay. Just... uh, let me get my katana.          Some people ask for the weirdest things.

I wish there was a way to have world peace without taking away choice, emotion, art, advancment, basic humanity, or death.


Offline Tripe

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #22 on: December 08, 2007, 07:25:56 PM »
Granted none of those things will be taken away, and especially not the last one. The rest will be essential to determining who gets to experience the last thing on your list first. It'll be a delightful competition at the end of which peace will reign with nobody left to enjoy it.

I wish I had the winning lottery numbers for next weeks drawing.


Offline Junkyard

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #23 on: December 09, 2007, 06:23:52 AM »
Unfortunately, now the lottery doesn't have the numbers. They're gonna have to pick again.

I wish I could be a shapeshifter.


Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #24 on: December 09, 2007, 09:17:56 AM »
Granted.  And let me be the first to say that you morph into the most amiable octagon in town!  You're also not that bad at the square, the triangle, the pentagram....

I wish I didn't have a headache.


Offline Junkyard

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #25 on: December 09, 2007, 10:16:11 AM »



I wish I could turn invisible at will.


Offline BBQ Platypus

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #26 on: December 09, 2007, 10:32:08 AM »
Granted.  However, while crossing the street in hopes of copping a feel from that hot girl walking on the sidewalk in front of you, you fail to realize that the semi-truck doesn't see you either.

I wish the Vikings would win a Super Bowl...preferably sometime before I die.
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anais.jude

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #27 on: December 09, 2007, 10:52:01 AM »
Granted, except by arranging this matchup I have to go over God's head, and since God had money riding on the big game....well....he kind of lost a lot of it, and now the earth is fucked, but that's all right you get your precious Viking victory!


i wish i had just, maybe, another 1,000 bucks. that isn't too much to ask for




Offline Junkyard

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #28 on: December 09, 2007, 11:22:25 AM »
Today in the news, a  man was trampled to death by what is believed to be the largest congregation of deer in any one place on record.

I wish I could tell immediately if people are lying to me or not.


Offline BBQ Platypus

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #29 on: December 09, 2007, 11:42:44 AM »
Unfortunately, you find out a few things you'd rather not know - for instance, that your significant other is currently cheating on you with virtually every member of the Miami Dolphins.  I mean, come on - the DOLPHINS!?  Couldn't it have at least been a GOOD team!?

I wish I had telekinetic powers.
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