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Author Topic: You pick 'em  (Read 1528 times)

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Offline RoninFox

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You pick 'em
« on: November 19, 2007, 06:05:01 AM »
Okay people, I'm going to give you two movies that are somehow comparable to each other.  They may have the same kind of plot, or theme, or character.  Maybe they share cast members or are from the same director.  The point is, I want to know which is more riffable than the other, and why.

First up:



The Karate Kid:  A 1984 coming of age story in which a poor Jersey kid moves to California with his mother and finds that he's the target of a group of bullies.  This is partly because he was hitting on one of the local girls, but mostly just for being Ralph Machio.  Luckily he gets his scrawny ass saved by a 52 year old Japanese gardener, who then teaches him Karate by making him do household chores.  This leads to the boy becoming a martial arts master and defeating his rival by imitating a bird, despite the hard work of the evil dojo-master who trained all the bullies.

VS.



Sidekicks:  A 1992 gem that sees another loser kid, this time extra geeky and with added asthma, spend his days fantasizing about being best buds with Chuck Norris, helping him out in fierce wars, battling next to him against ninjas, and drinking milk.  His parents try and help him by getting him karate lessons with the wizard from the Conan movies who they found running a local restaurant.  The young boy controls his dreams, becomes adept at twirling nunchakus, woos Winnie Cooper, and oh by the way Chuck Norris just happened to be around when they needed an extra member for their team in the big competition at the end, which they win despite the hard work of the evil and extra goofy dojo-master who trained all the bullies.
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Offline Sideswipe

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Re: You pick 'em
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2007, 07:25:44 PM »
Ah, Mr. Dumpling!  He who blocks his enemy's blows with his face!

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Offline Tank

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Re: You pick 'em
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2007, 10:29:05 AM »
Chuck Norris alone makes Sidekicks more riffable.  Fighting ninjas is just gravy.


Offline Nunyerbiz

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Re: You pick 'em
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2007, 10:38:41 AM »
in the traditional sense... I think Sidekicks is more riffable. Just a goofy, goofy movie plus Chuck Norris.

That said, I'd rather see them do the Karate Kid. Only because it would get them closer to doing The Karate Kid III... which is one of the most riffable things ever produced.


Offline Rude

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Re: You pick 'em
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2007, 10:41:49 AM »
...

Ya'll noticed that Sidekicks features Joe Piscopo, right? I don't think you need any more of a reason to pick that film over Karate Kid.

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Offline RoninFox

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Re: You pick 'em
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2007, 11:25:10 AM »
...

Ya'll noticed that Sidekicks features Joe Piscopo, right? I don't think you need any more of a reason to pick that film over Karate Kid.

-Rude

I think this is the best argument that can possibly be made here.  Just his facial expressions alone in the fight scene are priceless.

[yt=425,350]IaoXjtopBEM[/yt]

This is the only version I could find of the fight, and the guy cut out the numerous flips at the end for some reason, but it's still cheesy greatness.  ;D
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Offline RoninFox

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Re: You pick 'em
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2007, 05:53:30 PM »
Alright.  I think it's time for a new matchup, lets see what we come up with in a Superhero showdown.

In this corner:



Batman Forever-1995 saw a change in direction for the caped crusader.  Some important people finally realized that the dark take on the Batman franchise that led to Batman fighting a vinyl clad dominatrix and a bird hellbent on infanticide wasn't the best vehicle to sell kids toys and Burger King glasses, therefore Burton was out and the age of Schumacher began.  Now Batman faced goofier and more colorful foes, even though one of them was suddenly lacking "color" as the movie version of Harvey Dent lost his African American background just before getting horribly scarred.  Also Jim Carry is there, once again wearing strange and disturbing outfits with a lot of green. (how many movies is that true about now?)  Also, Bruce Wayne gets his image softened a bit as he opens his arms and his home to a twenty year old orphan and again reveals his biggest secret to the woman he loves (with all the women he's revealed his secret to only for them to be dumped by the next film, you'd have thought he'd be front page news by now).  Finally, thrill as Batman and Robin fight their enemies in a giant blender.

VS.



Superman III-The third installment of Chris Reeve's Superman series, this 1984 film finally gives Superman a worthy foe.  After defeating Lex Luthor and three evil Kryptonians, Superman is taken of guard by the genius of Richard Pryor.  Being manipulated by a greedy prick, Pryor invents a new kind of kryptonite using tobacco tar, leading to Superman to split off of Clark Kent in a separate body and turn evil.  This leads to an "exciting" battle between the two sides of the same man and a "comprehensible" conclusion about a supercomputer that wanted to live.

And you guys thought X-Men and Spiderman were the first superhero franchises to completely jump the shark in their third part!
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