Say something nice about the next poster...

[Johnny Unusual]

Except when I forget to and then it is a catastrophe.

The next post -- FUCK!  I SHOULD HAVE SAID DISASTER!

The next poster can pick his friends and his nose.

[WhyDontTheyLook]

...but not my friend's nose.  Learned *that* one the hard way.

The next poster would walk five hundred miles, and would walk five hundred more, just to be the poster who walked a thousand miles to fall down at my door.

[Johnny Unusual]

If I knew it was going to be that hard, I would have taken a plane.

The next poster is willing to pay for quality.

[Pak-Man]

Give me a Double Cheeseburger, McDonalds! None of this one-slice-of-cheese McDouble hogwash!

The next poster has the undisputed high score on a popular arcade game.

[stansimpson]

High score on Polybius, actually. Sure, my brain is just goo now, but no one seems to notice.

The next poster is the belle of the ball.

[Johnny Unusual]

Or at least I try to be, constantly "do declaring" things.

The next poster knows what he is talking about.

[WhyDontTheyLook]

...but only when I'm talking about the word 'what'.  See my TED talk: "What: It Is"

The next poster champions accountability at the office.

[stansimpson]

Some people may find it too intrusive, but I pride myself on checking up on my co-workers' daily enemas.

The next poster has great hindsight.

[Johnny Unusual]

Since I've attached rearview mirrors t my shirts.

The next poster takes care of dogs.

[stansimpson]

People don't realize that the real trick of being a successful hot dog vendor is the amount of coddling each hot dog needs.

The next poster makes Rambo look like Pee-Wee Herman.

[Johnny Unusual]

Thanks to photoshop and my pinterest page.

The next poster is the greatest boss in the world.

[WhyDontTheyLook]

...and what does it get me?  Megaman firing @#$()! missles at me all the time!  Then I'm vulnerable when I exhaust my fire strikes, and next thing you know I've exploded.  Again.

The next poster won't crack under pressure.

[stansimpson]

I squish more than I crack.

The next poster can always spot a fake from a mile away.

[Johnny Unusual]

...assuming that's an actual mile, I guess.  I'm not sure.

The next poster is the first man on the moon.