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Was shaving this morning and I noticed my phone screen turned on and was obviously doing things by itself, I watched as it opened up the browser and set Thrifty's avatar as its wallpaper. This is the same device that takes it upon itself to interpret Jemmy's barks as really filthy Google searches in Arabic, I might need an exorcism app.
I can't find my flippin remote control. How am i supposed to be able to operate my TV?
That's right, Anchorman 2 is filming now!
Also good thing I dont work for an abortion doc. Getting preggers over and over would suck.