Completely Random Thoughts

[LucasM]

So... I want to know, I'm not naive or anything, but I like to collect opinions. What exactly would possess a person to post "You are a fucking moron!" on Facebook with absolutely no provocation at all?

The courage that posting in a digital world gives / No fear of consequences.

I know, right? I try very hard especially these days to be as civilized to people online as possible. To put it another way, I like to talk to people the same way I would if I were having a face to face talk. I mean obviously he has a right to his opinion about me, but I can't imagine anything I've done lately entitles someone to be talking like that to me.

Agreed.  I like to think that I am generally civil regardless of if people 'know who I am'.  Everyone has 'their own shit' they have to deal with - they don't need me adding to it.

Sorry that person wasn't showing you an equal level of respect.  One thing you can take away from it, is that what they said says far more about them than it does about you.

Been dazed and confused for so long its not true....

You okay there Lucas?

As good as can be expected, thanks.  Partly just noticing the parallel between a Zeppelin tune's initial lyric (which MartyS followed up on) and my condition for a while now.  [I don't believe there was a single day in 2014 that I felt fully 'stable' (meaning with regards to my mental resources actually equal to or exceeding my mental output; not 'stable' as in 'nuts').]

But it is now exactly seven days from the 20th anniversary of the first of the three accidents (Jan 14, 1995) that took me from 'on track to potentially be a quite good Neuropsychologist' to someone who can't spend 10 minutes on the phone, or 20-30 minutes talking face to face with someone, or an hour on the computer without seizure activity that interferes with all my mental functioning and that I then have to spend days subduing.  That doesn't much lend itself to 'okay'.  But I am, honestly, doing better with it than I'd anticipated.  I guess I've done enough soul-searching and hard psychological work in that 20 years that - despite it not being pleasant - this milestone isn't quite as potent as it would assuredly have been otherwise.

[Soguru]

That's a pretty damn hard time right there. I am very sorry Lucas  . as humans we all have the right to have better lives than the cards we're dealt and I just wish I had a better answer for those who are suffering so much.

[Miku Fan]

I agree with Soguru.  I wish I could help you, Lucas.

[Variety of Cells]

Going to shut down and pack up my computer.  Won't have time before our Saturday move unless I do it now.  Goodnight sweet prince.  Travel safe.

[LucasM]

Thank you, Soguru and Miku Fan.

From what others have written on the Forum, "this is not where I expected to be at this point in my life," is not singular to me by any means.  It is just difficult with such a distinct anniversary, to register my dealing with this for so long, and knowing the brain as I do, that my functioning isn't likely to get much better from here on out (with the long-lived parents and grandparents I've had, with me having a life expectancy that could mean an additional 35 years of life).

[Was out of the house yesterday for four hours, running six errands, and it is hard as hell to focus to write here, as I can't think fer shit still, regardless the 'recovery meds' I've had to take already.]

[Soguru]

There are things I could suggest... but honestly you probably already know about them or have tried them. I know what works for me, and I guess I should be grateful that I can shut out the unwarranted misery I make myself feel from even the slightest indiscretions, but we're all so different. I'm no PHd, that's for damn sure. One thing that I find makes me so sad is that I don't have the power to change the world for everybody else. Ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to change the world on my own: No more children starving, no more jobless people, no more sickness, no more war or poverty, the homeless and their children living in clean, peaceful homes.

I can only just be general in my help: Just try to do whatever makes you happy in life to help make the days that much more tolerable.

[Miku Fan]

You can't save the entire world. But, you can choose a small chunk, and help it.  I catch abandoned/lost cats (in my apt. complex) and take them to the vet. I have them given physicals and vaccinations. Without exception, they have all been spayed/neutered before I found them.  So, I know they are lost/abandoned pets.  I leave food and water for them outside, and fur beds in winter.  So, I provide medical care, food and water for them. It doesn't change the entire world, but it does change the world, a tiny bit.   

[Soguru]

You can't save the entire world. But, you can choose a small chunk, and help it.  I catch abandoned/lost cats (in my apt. complex) and take them to the vet. I have them given physicals and vaccinations. Without exception, they have all been spayed/neutered before I found them.  So, I know they are lost/abandoned pets.  I leave food and water for them outside, and fur beds in winter.  So, I provide medical care, food and water for them. It doesn't change the entire world, but it does change the world, a tiny bit. 

We took in some cats a while back (2007) and are still taking care of them to this day. I'm just glad those poor cats didn't have to grow up in the wild. We don't even let them outside because we've lost too many cats in years past.

[Quirk]

My cat watched a full twenty minutes of The War of the Worlds before getting distracted. Pretty impressive attention span. Hell, I got bored of it before he did.

[Lembach]

My cat watched a full twenty minutes of The War of the Worlds before getting distracted. Pretty impressive attention span. Hell, I got bored of it before he did.

The 1953 or the 2005 version?

[LucasM]

Roland Emmerich is this generation's Irwin Allen.

[Soguru]

That's possible.

I went and applied for disability recently. I didn't want to, but between my health/mental problems, family issues, the fact that nobody's going to hire someone like me because of all that and more, I didn't really have a choice.

[ScottotD]

Finally saw the Elastic Heart video and I bawled, would recommend.

[Lembach]

Speaking of recommendations:

"The Martian: A Novel" by Andy Weir is quite possibly the most exciting book I've ever read.

[Quantum Vagina]

I was just talking to someone about someone who I don't like. I think that that person sounds and acts really smug. The person's response was "Of course they're smug! I'm smug, too. It's because we're British!"