Completely Random Thoughts

[Miku Fan]

Jalapenos are my favorite!  They actually taste good, are nice and hot, but not overwhelming. According to Wikipedia, the jalapeno is 3,500-10,000 Scoville units.  The Scorpion is 2 million plus.  To me, that is beyond flavor, it's simply pain.  I've watched people on youtube eat them, and they talk about the sweet, fruity flavor, right before the pain kicks in.  For me, the pain was instant! I didn't taste anything, unless you consider pain a flavor

[Lembach]

I had a supervisor that collected hot sauces of all things. He let me try a toothpick dipped in a Naga Jolokia Ghost Chiles hot sauce.

I had to go home early. 

[d00hickey]

I hate hot peppers, pain is over rated and doesn't make you manly. That being said I have tried numerous peppers because I have a friend who grows them. The worst experience I ever had was recently with a small bite of a Chocolate Bhutlah. Not only did it feel like the heat of a thousand suns, it tasted like shit.

[ScottotD]

I hate hot peppers, pain is over rated and doesn't make you manly.

...also it don't hurt.

[d00hickey]

I hate when "manly" assholes brag about how much pain they can endure. Pain is an important physiological response to physical damage to the body. I have had chronic pain for years, I would love to trade that experience with these morons and see how much they love it. 

[Soguru]

I'm having a hard time dealing with life. I can't deal with the possibility that it may never go anywhere no matter how hard I try. I just can't deal with it.

[Miku Fan]

I hate when "manly" assholes brag about how much pain they can endure. Pain is an important physiological response to physical damage to the body. I have had chronic pain for years, I would love to trade that experience with these morons and see how much they love it.

I know how you feel, literally.

[Miku Fan]

I had a supervisor that collected hot sauces of all things. He let me try a toothpick dipped in a Naga Jolokia Ghost Chiles hot sauce.

I had to go home early. 

Ah, beware those sauces!  Some of them are simply concentrates, and not really sauce. I had a bottle of Ghost pepper hot sauce, and read the fine print.  It had the equivalent of about 50 ghost peppers in one bottle.  In other words, it was hotter than actually eating a ghost pepper!

[Miku Fan]

I'm having a hard time dealing with life. I can't deal with the possibility that it may never go anywhere no matter how hard I try. I just can't deal with it.

I don't know your situation.  But, it's possible that things will change for the better.  Please don't give up!  I used to be confined to a wheel chair.  I had to learn to walk again, at age 29. At one point, I was hospitalized for 8 months straight.  I became suicidal.  So, I'd roll my ass from the neurosurgery ward, to the cancer ward.  I realized very quickly I could have it a lot worse. 

I got out of the wheel chair. But, the nerves that control my intestines, bladder, both legs and feet send signals that feel like electricity and fire at the same time. 

Again, I became depressed and suicidal.  Then, I noticed guys at the VA hospital that don't even have enough body to sit in a wheel chair.  They have to lie on their stomachs, on a gurney, and roll around.   Again, I realized I have it great, compared to some.

Life can and often does suck.  But, if you look around, you'll see that "suck is relative." 
I hope you can find a way to resolve your problems!

[ScottotD]

I'm having a hard time dealing with life. I can't deal with the possibility that it may never go anywhere no matter how hard I try. I just can't deal with it.

I can sympathize, do you mean career-wise, socially, financially or just overall feeling stuck?

[Soguru]

I can sympathize, do you mean career-wise, socially, financially or just overall feeling stuck?

All of the above. 

[Pak-Man]

Where do you want it to go?

[Soguru]

Where do you want it to go?

Anywhere but here, a refrigerator box or under a bridge somewhere. I just want to make a living.

Maybe I overestimate my talent, maybe I do have too fragile of an ego, but I think I can be very funny when I'm writing. I want to make videos to make people laugh while also putting food on the table and keeping the bills paid. If all else fails(which it has), I want to fall back on the fail-safe of advertising revenue. I also know that takes a lot of views to make it, but I know in my heart if I give my vision some effort that it can be done.

[jonalame]

 I just really like hotsauce and spice. I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone else, but it is fun to gradually work my way up the scoville ladder. My tolerance is pretty high, but I recently made the arrogant mistake of treating a fresh jalapeno like a cooked jalapeno slice, though, and promptly went a whiter shade of pale and then a brighter shade of red.


 If it is any consolation, Soguru, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I have a sneaking suspicion that most others don't, either. I'm just flailing about. I do a manual labor job any Joe could do because I find putting stress on my body is much easier to deal with than putting stress on my mind. The task at hand is physically strenuous enough that I don't get caught up thinking and worrying during the day and I sleep like a rock afterward(where normally I had insomnia). I'm just slowing saving, for what I do not know.

[Soguru]

If it is any consolation, Soguru, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I have a sneaking suspicion that most others don't, either. I'm just flailing about. I do a manual labor job any Joe could do because I find putting stress on my body is much easier to deal with than putting stress on my mind. The task at hand is physically strenuous enough that I don't get caught up thinking and worrying during the day and I sleep like a rock afterward(where normally I had insomnia). I'm just slowing saving, for what I do not know.

I admire that. Physical labor has always been very difficult for me, even when I was in much better shape. Part of it was because it put such a strain on me that I would feel very self-conscious. I would feel humiliated and paranoid that everybody was making fun of me or pointing and laughing at me, saying "pfft, what a loser". People have told me before "Who cares what others think?", to which I respond "Me". I just can't help it. I do care what other people think of me.

I think that's why I really want people to like me. It's not just because of ego, it's because of a desire to just be appreciated in the eyes of others. Part of my latent fear is that I'll be forgotten. I don't want to do stuff just to make money, I want to do it to entertain people and ideally even educate them. It's a lofty ideal that's for sure.