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Author Topic: What was the last movie you watched?  (Read 1587121 times)

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Offline Russoguru

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18600 on: May 06, 2019, 07:18:20 PM »
The Crow SUUUUUUUCKED, so I can't even imagine how bad a poor man's version of that schlock must have been.
Yet another example where the soundtrack is better than the movie.


Offline stansimpson

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18601 on: May 07, 2019, 07:02:05 AM »
Decided to watch Conan The Destroyer last night expecting the worst. It actually wasn't hot garbage. I expected Cannon Films level of insanity, incoherence, and incompetent filmmaking. Instead, I got a watered-down version of the first one. Which isn't a complaint since the first one was super well done; it felt like living in a really dangerous world where anything could happen (much like the early seasons of Game of Thrones). The sequel seemed liked it was maybe more aimed towards kids (or at least a younger, less mature audience) presumably due to the sudden huge popularity of He-Man. And there's one character that really, really Jar Jar Binkses his way through the movie (ugh). Closest analogy of the two movies would be like going from Ninja Turtles (1990) to Secret of the Ooze. Looking forward to Red Sonja next (and I'm guessing/hoping it's not Ninja Turtles 3).
« Last Edit: May 07, 2019, 07:09:24 AM by stansimpson »


Offline Russoguru

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18602 on: May 07, 2019, 08:26:18 PM »
There are things I like about Conan the Destroyer. The music is really good, Arnold is great, and there's one scene with Grace Jones that absolutely makes me lose my shit laughing every time. There is some comedy that works, and some that doesn't. It's definitely nowhere near as good as the original, but it's nowhere near as bad as Red Sonja...


Offline stansimpson

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18603 on: May 08, 2019, 07:26:56 AM »
Watched Red Sonja last night. Surprised to see Arnold as a different character (rights issues, apparently; he was only supposed to do a cameo but they tricked him). The wife liked Conan the Destroyer more, but I liked Red Sonja more in a so-bad-it's-good way. Destroyer felt too bloated for me with its plot and execution. Red Sonja has a very simple story that plays out nicely in a breezy 88 minutes. Funny how much the first 5-10mins was like the beginning of DCEU's Wonder Woman. And it was fun watching little Ernie Reyes Jr kick some butt as a 13 yr old (tho he doesn't look a day over 9).

What got me started watching these was RedLetterMedia's review of the Conan knock-off, Deathstalker. Since I finished the Arnold movies, I'll be watching that next.


Offline ScottotD

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18604 on: May 08, 2019, 11:00:54 PM »
Decided to watch Conan The Destroyer last night expecting the worst. It actually wasn't hot garbage. I expected Cannon Films level of insanity, incoherence, and incompetent filmmaking. Instead, I got a watered-down version of the first one. Which isn't a complaint since the first one was super well done; it felt like living in a really dangerous world where anything could happen (much like the early seasons of Game of Thrones). The sequel seemed liked it was maybe more aimed towards kids (or at least a younger, less mature audience) presumably due to the sudden huge popularity of He-Man. And there's one character that really, really Jar Jar Binkses his way through the movie (ugh). Closest analogy of the two movies would be like going from Ninja Turtles (1990) to Secret of the Ooze. Looking forward to Red Sonja next (and I'm guessing/hoping it's not Ninja Turtles 3).

I remember the monster at the end being super gross but I was probably 12 or something at the time
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Offline stansimpson

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18605 on: May 09, 2019, 07:01:31 AM »
Decided to watch Conan The Destroyer last night expecting the worst. It actually wasn't hot garbage. I expected Cannon Films level of insanity, incoherence, and incompetent filmmaking. Instead, I got a watered-down version of the first one. Which isn't a complaint since the first one was super well done; it felt like living in a really dangerous world where anything could happen (much like the early seasons of Game of Thrones). The sequel seemed liked it was maybe more aimed towards kids (or at least a younger, less mature audience) presumably due to the sudden huge popularity of He-Man. And there's one character that really, really Jar Jar Binkses his way through the movie (ugh). Closest analogy of the two movies would be like going from Ninja Turtles (1990) to Secret of the Ooze. Looking forward to Red Sonja next (and I'm guessing/hoping it's not Ninja Turtles 3).

I remember the monster at the end being super gross but I was probably 12 or something at the time

The moment that monster showed up, I turned to my wife and said "That absolutely would've given me nightmares as a kid."


Offline MartyS (Gromit)

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18606 on: May 09, 2019, 07:44:10 PM »
The Wandering Earth

It's streaming on Netflix, odd that they paid good money for it and have not been promoting it in any way.

It's a bit long, and there is only English dubbed available, I would rather have original language and subtitles so the lip sync doesn't throw you.

It takes about half an hour to get going, too much time spent setting up the premise and some of the characters.  Middle gets a bit confusing with new characters and action scenes that you often don't know exactly what is going on and who is who.  But the second half is pretty good, once they settle down and get on with their plan to save the earth things make sense and it's well done.

As science fiction it's nonsense, the sun won't go red giant until it runs out of hydrogen, it will happen on geological time scale (100s of thousands to millions of years), and we are billions of years away from that starting so there would be no rush.  And there are plenty of other physics issues with the premise. 

But it's a reasonably good action movie.




Offline ScottotD

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18607 on: May 09, 2019, 10:01:39 PM »
Decided to watch Conan The Destroyer last night expecting the worst. It actually wasn't hot garbage. I expected Cannon Films level of insanity, incoherence, and incompetent filmmaking. Instead, I got a watered-down version of the first one. Which isn't a complaint since the first one was super well done; it felt like living in a really dangerous world where anything could happen (much like the early seasons of Game of Thrones). The sequel seemed liked it was maybe more aimed towards kids (or at least a younger, less mature audience) presumably due to the sudden huge popularity of He-Man. And there's one character that really, really Jar Jar Binkses his way through the movie (ugh). Closest analogy of the two movies would be like going from Ninja Turtles (1990) to Secret of the Ooze. Looking forward to Red Sonja next (and I'm guessing/hoping it's not Ninja Turtles 3).

I remember the monster at the end being super gross but I was probably 12 or something at the time

The moment that monster showed up, I turned to my wife and said "That absolutely would've given me nightmares as a kid."

I think I laughed at how crazy and bloody it was... I was an odd kid
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Offline Russoguru

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18608 on: May 11, 2019, 06:54:11 PM »
I saw Detective Pikachu today. Here's the deal... it's pretty much a middle of the road film. It just took too long to get going and grated on my nerves too much. Then again, I did not walk out which means there was some good in this movie. It probably hurts this movie a little that the only person that was good and I knew in the entire cast was Ryan Reynolds, and he doesn't save this thing from being pretty mediocre. Unless you're a big Pokemon fan I say skip it or wait to rent it.


Online The Lurker

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18609 on: May 11, 2019, 08:43:22 PM »
I'll hopefully see it sometime soon.


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18610 on: May 11, 2019, 09:13:18 PM »
I enjoyed Detective Pikachu. The performances were passable and the story was pretty basic, but the reverence for the source material sold it. Seeing a world populated by thousands of Pokemon is something to behold. It's a new bar for video game movies for sure.

Speaking of the low bar for video game movies, the theater I go to puts together a little preshow with movie clips relevant to the movie being shown. One of the clips was from Super Mario Bros. (The scene where Mario and Luigi are first sucked through the portal.)  My son asked me what movie it was, and I told him it was Super Mario Bros. After a pause, he said, "I think you're telling a joke." I assured him it was REALLY a Super Mario Bros movie. While the next clip played, he asked, "OK, what movie was that really?" Can't say I blame him.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18611 on: May 12, 2019, 07:46:26 AM »
Shanghai Surprise

Saw this one because they did a "How Did This Get Made?" episode about it and if it is easy to find them, I watch 'em.  It is very bad, with Sean Penn and Madonna turning in really wretched performances for unpleasant characters.  It has a reveal that is... genuinely surprising near the end (I was relieved to find out the hosts and guests felt the same way) but it is in service to a completely funless throwback film trying to be in the vein of Indiana Jones and Bogart and Bacall movies.  The philosophy seems to be "maybe if the leads complain enough, it will be fun".  It is not.


Offline stansimpson

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18612 on: May 12, 2019, 01:20:19 PM »
Shanghai Surprise

Saw this one because they did a "How Did This Get Made?" episode about it and if it is easy to find them, I watch 'em.  It is very bad, with Sean Penn and Madonna turning in really wretched performances for unpleasant characters.  It has a reveal that is... genuinely surprising near the end (I was relieved to find out the hosts and guests felt the same way) but it is in service to a completely funless throwback film trying to be in the vein of Indiana Jones and Bogart and Bacall movies.  The philosophy seems to be "maybe if the leads complain enough, it will be fun".  It is not.

I hadn't ever heard of this movie until Todd In the Shadows did a review for it for his Cinemadonna series. You might appreciate his hate for it here. Haha.
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Offline stethacantus

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18613 on: May 12, 2019, 10:00:12 PM »
The Magnificent Trio ( 1966 )
The 60s is not popular with fans of the Shaw Brothers martial arts films. It was when the studio first began making martial arts films, which meant their actors had to learn martial arts. At the time their screen fighting skills were not that good, and they relied on stunt doubles and camera tricks a lot.  And the films were all swordplay.  Blame the United States. When Japan was occupied following World War II, the United States instituted a ban on violent films. When that ban was finally ended, the Japanese studios responded with the modern era of Chambara films. Films about swordsmen during Japan's feudal era with violence never seen in Japanese films before. They became very popular all throughout Asia, including China. Shaw Brothers noticed, and decided they needed to have their own equivalent to the Chambara films.  While some of those films, like Come Drink With Me ( 1966 ) and One Armed Swordsman ( 1967 ) were classics, The Magnificent Trio was not one of them. Starring Jimmy Wang Yu a year before One Armed Swordsman made him a star, it tells a story which was formula in Chambara films. A corrupt local government magistrate l is continuing to collect taxes from the local farmers even though the emperor has ordered tax relief for the poor. When the entire town signs a petition to be delivered to a high government official who is scheduled to pass through town,  the corrupt magistrate frees bandits from his prison, promising them free rein to pillage the farmers as long as they kill off the organizers of the petition and retrieve it. Wang Yu, Lo Lei and Cheng Liu play three swordsmen who each reluctantly become involved and eventually ban together to take down the magistrate and his army of guards.  It's a nice little film, but the Japanese studios made better films with the same material. And the sword fighting is pretty primitive. Wang Yu and the others were just beginning to learn how to fight on screen. Shaw Brothers martial arts films would get a lot better a few years later, which is why most fans tend to ignore everything made prior to The Chinese Boxer ( 1970 )

Die You Zombie Bastards ( 2005 )
Another one of the films on the Wikipedia live action Superhero list. This one got added only recently, and years after the DVD went OOP, which meant needing to hunt down a high priced used copy on eBay.  And what did I get for my money and effort? I had a little hope there would be something good about this film. It was released by Image, with favorable reviews from Film Threat and The Boston Globe on the back of the box. And it won a few film festival grand prizes. However, I knew I was in for it when the film started and it was shot on video tape, in a 1:33:1 aspect ratio. Think of Lloyd Kauffman with toned down violence meets whoever wrote the comedy for the Banana Splits. Yep, a lot of over the top acting and goofy sound effects to punctuate every joke. And it just barely qualifies as a superhero film. The crazy wife of a serial killer makes him a superhero costume out of the skin of the bodies he brings home, because he always wanted a superhero costume. Meanwhile Barron Nefarious, , a mad scientist villain who has just invented a zombie ray that turns people into zombies, spots the serial killer and his wife on a game show. He falls in love with the wife and has his zombies kidnap her and bring her to his island lair. Most of the film is the serial killer running around in his superhero costume searching for his wife, eventually finding the island for the showdown. The only thing that comes close to being funny is a running gag about a sidekick that keeps showing up. But otherwise, this is 100 minutes of a deliberate attempt to make a cult midnight movie  with a camcorder and almost no budget.


Offline stethacantus

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Re: What was the last movie you watched?
« Reply #18614 on: May 19, 2019, 10:35:42 PM »
Brothers Five  ( 1970 )
Lo Wei, once considered one of the top martial arts movie directors ever, has since become a minor footnote in martial arts cinema history. His claim to fame was directing Bruce Lee's first two martial arts films, and later discovering Jackie Chan. But it was later revealed that he barely directed the Bruce Lee films, handing all the duties to assistant directors while he spent what little time he actually showed up to the set reading racing forms and ignoring what was being filmed. He wasn't the first director to "discover" Jackie Chan. Others had cast him in films before Lo Wei, including John Woo who was just beginning his career as a director. Lo Wei did sign Chan to a long term contract when he opened his own production company, and did promote his new star as "the next Bruce Lee". But that was only because Chan was the only talented martial artist willing to sign with the Lo Wei Studio. Chan was the best Wei could get for that cheap. The cheap films he put him in bombed, and eventually Wei had Chan reduced to villain roles. It was really producer Ng See Yune  who discovered Jackie Chan's potential as a comedy/action star and put him in his first hit films. Revelations that Lo Wei was tied to organized crime, supposedly after owing them for gambling debts,  that sank what was left of his reputation.

Brothers Five was his final film for Shaw Brothers, made just months before defecting to rival Golden Harvest and being credited as the director for The Big Boss ( 1971 ). It was a silly film starring the studio's biggest actress, Cheng Pei Pei, although as with most of her films, she is not really the lead character. The leader of the Flying Dragon Villa has been murdered by a usurper. For their safety, his five infant children are sent away to live with other martial arts masters. Unaware of their true father, or that they have brothers, the five grow up to become martial arts masters. Cheng Pei Pei is the daughter of a family friend who is tasked with gathering the five brothers so they can avenge their father. Unfortunately each as their own beef with the Flying Dragon Villa, which by now is a club for villains. Even though Cheng Pei Pei warns them their martial arts is no match for the leader of the Flying Dragon Villa, and the only way to avenge their father is by all five brothers teaming up together, they keep individually showing up at the front door of the Villa looking for a fight, and Cheng Pei Pei has to keep showing up to rescue them when they are being beat by the leader. Finally getting all five brothers safely under a single roof, she hands them a manual which teaches them a technique  where they form a five man upside down pyramid and spin around. Amazingly this dopey looking technique that at best has them slowly spinning around, causes the Villa leader to loose the fight, as if he is so awestruck on how stupid it looks that he accidentally keeps walking into their weapons.  It is mildly entertaining, but the separate brothers continuingly showing up at the Villa for a fight begins to get tedious.


Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze  ( 1975  )
It's been a while since I watched a mainstream Hollywood Super Hero film, and that was Disney's Condorman. Doc Savage was made for Warner Bros., the final film from film maker George Pal, and was directed by Michael Anderson, who had previously directed the Academy Award winner for Best Picture, Around the World in 80 Days ( 1956 ) and would follow this film up with what was then the ultimate Science Fiction film Logan's Run ( 1976 ). So there was hope that this film, which was supposed to be the first in a long running Doc Savage franchise, would be really good. Sure it bombed. But that was because it opened up against Jaws ( 1975 ) on that film's opening weekend. ( Anderson would sort of get his revenge two years later when he directed the Jaws rip-off Orca ( 1977 ) and include a scene where one of the Killer Whales kills a great white shark. ) The problem is that Doc Savage was released in an era where superhero films and television shows were deliberately campy.  It was also pretty low budget, so the story was a basic TV movie plot on a theatrical film. Ill give it points for keeping 100% faithful to it's source material. But with such a low budget, not much happens and the action is lackluster and often anti climatic. And then there is that camp, which has annoying songs about Doc Savage being sung constantly over the soundtrack, a villain that sleeps in a giant rocking crib, and whenever the Doc smiles at the camera, an animated twinkle gleams from his left eye along with a "Ting" sound effect.

The simple plot: International adventurer Doc Savage learns that his explorer father died in South America. But before he died, sent the Doc an envelope. Before the Doc can read the contents, a sniper in a building across the way almost hits him. Dock chases after the would be assassin, causing him to fall off the roof. hen he returns to his apartment he discovers his safe on fire, and the letter his father sent him turned to ash. So he and his friends called the Fabulous Five join him on an adventure in South America to investigate his fathers death, and try to discover what was in the papers his father sent him. Hit investigation leads to a lost tribe in their secluded jungle valley home, which is overrun with bad guys looking to steal their gold. Not really much of a plot, and every opportunity for a memorable Indiana Jones style action scene never happens. I would say this was typical of the era it was made in, but it was suppose to be America's answer to the James Bond franchise, which by then had wall to wall action scenes.

Doc Savage was a pulp novel hero, and this movie doesn't even appear on the Wikipedia  superhero movie list. However, Doc Savage is considered one of the forerunners to the Superhero. Stan Lee even credited Doc Savage as one of the first superheroes. And for that reason I decided to get the movie before it goes OOP, after which I am sure Wikipedia will  finally add it to their Superhero list. But this film has no costumes, no secret identities, and although in one scene the villain shoots Doc with a machine gun and the bullets clearly bounce off his chest, has no superhero powers. ( Are we to assume the Doc was wearing a bullet proof tuxedo? r was he suppose to be bulletproof? )
« Last Edit: May 19, 2019, 10:38:14 PM by stethacantus »