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Author Topic: Commercials We HATE  (Read 127415 times)

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Offline daltysmilth

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #195 on: August 29, 2007, 01:12:09 PM »
I hate the recent string of car commercials narrated by Kelsey Grammar with the acapella group singing the word "duh" to the tune of Also Sprach Zarathustra or the Dragnet theme or whatever other piece of music they've licensed.  The singing is annoying, for one thing, but also have we really sunk so low as a society that Kelsey Grammar needs to do car commercials and crappy Fox sitcoms to support himself?  It makes me shudder to think what's going to happen a few years down the line when House goes off the air and Hugh Laurie needs work.  Though I guess he could just go back to Britain and find a project with some dignity over there.  And does anyone else wonder why Fox, who was one of the pioneers of the non-laugh-track/non-studio-audience sitcom (what with Malcolm In The Middle and Arrested Development) is going back to the traditional, predictable, formula-based laugh-track/studio-audience sitcom?  Assuming the show lasts past the third episode, how long do you think it's going to be before they just start recycling plots from Mary Tyler Moore or NewsRadio or Murphy Brown?  Okay, rant over.
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Offline Hebs

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #196 on: August 29, 2007, 01:16:15 PM »
Unfortunately, for shows that are too smart for their own good like Arrested Development, audiences don't go for it in big numbers.  It's over in 3 seasons just like the Adam West Batman show, the original Star Trek and other shows that have big followings after cancellation.  It's a shame Fox is going back to crap, but to their credit, they did push Arrested Development pretty hard - the execs liked it a great deal, apparently.
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Offline BathTub

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #197 on: August 29, 2007, 01:35:22 PM »
Yeah there is usually half a screen of tiny text towards the end of the ad detailing the charges and the minimum number of texts you'll get.

This is slightly newer than the plain 'texting hot girls' ads, which made me laugh, 'how would you know, it's probably just randomly generated text from a server'.

Can you imagine the filthy fat guys that are actually responding to these texts?  I mean, the commercials should just say "Real girls not guarenteed".

Well as a filthy fat guy I have plenty of other things to spend my money on first, so I do have trouble imagining who would use it.


Offline Hebs

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #198 on: August 29, 2007, 01:39:44 PM »
Yeah there is usually half a screen of tiny text towards the end of the ad detailing the charges and the minimum number of texts you'll get.

This is slightly newer than the plain 'texting hot girls' ads, which made me laugh, 'how would you know, it's probably just randomly generated text from a server'.

Can you imagine the filthy fat guys that are actually responding to these texts?  I mean, the commercials should just say "Real girls not guarenteed".

Well as a filthy fat guy I have plenty of other things to spend my money on first, so I do have trouble imagining who would use it.

Wait, wait, I just want to clarify that I meant instead of randomly generated texting that it's a guy in a basement responding to the guys that buy these services.
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Offline BathTub

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #199 on: August 29, 2007, 01:54:38 PM »
It's cool.  ;D

Another thing that I have wondered is that they are usually more expensive than actually calling a regular sex chat line, for a text message. Just a weird service, that is clearly finding a market.


Offline daltysmilth

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #200 on: August 29, 2007, 02:36:56 PM »
I will answer that with a simple, three-word sentence that explains all odd or counterintuitive behavior that you'll find among human beings:

"People are stupid."
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http://gh.ffshrine.org?r=112104


Offline Tripe

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #201 on: August 29, 2007, 04:32:25 PM »
Another thing that I have wondered is that they are usually more expensive than actually calling a regular sex chat line, for a text message. Just a weird service, that is clearly finding a market.

Verily I tell ye; The frustrated libido is a terrible thing.


Offline RobtheBarbarian

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #202 on: August 30, 2007, 01:49:16 PM »
There's a new set of Volkswagen commercials that make me want to strangle something cute just out of spite. The general theme is someone cold or distant has a flash of compassion upon spending time pawing at a Jetta or a Beetle. Example: A car thief is shuffling down a line of parked cars next to a park trying the doors to see if any are open; he finds a saccharine little Beetle who's doors are not only unlocked but has the keys tucked up in the sun visor. He takes advantage of the breathtakingly stupid woman who left the car like that and drives off (he really deserves it), but after tooling around town in a little montage, the cutey-poo aura of the VW makes his heart go all squishy and he returns the car where he found it. The clueless woman struts back to her car and drives off while the thief stands there smiling like a Scientologist who's thetan level went up 50 points.

-pulls the legs off a butterfly to purge the cute from his system-

VW commercials have always been self-rightous and irritating (except for the "unpimp ze auto" ones), but this is rediculous.


Offline Tripe

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #203 on: August 30, 2007, 02:03:58 PM »
But doesn't that car thief look like Hugh Laurie's younger lumpier brother?


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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #204 on: August 30, 2007, 06:34:28 PM »
Yes, yes he does. I knew his face was familiar.

Maybe we should get Dis to crack down on him.


Offline Junkyard

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #205 on: September 04, 2007, 08:28:55 PM »
Oh, I got another one- A good reason not to live in Commercial Land-
Relationships can end quite easily. Just buy the wrong damn mayo.


Offline daltysmilth

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #206 on: September 05, 2007, 12:35:21 AM »
Have we mentioned the commercials where the dumb kids spill Kool Aid all over the kitchen, and the mom just smiles a "kids will be kids" kind of smile and shakes her head and cleans it up without question.  Without yelling "FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU DAMN KIDS BE MORE CAREFUL?!!  AS IF I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO DO AROUND THIS HOUSE, NOW I GOTTA CLEAN THIS GODDAMN MESS UP!!!  YOU ARE ALL GROUNDED! YOU HEAR ME?  GROUNDED!!!"
CROW:  (Sinisterly) The Secret Government Eggo Project...
--Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

"Jason, Chess is a game of chance."
-- My friend Shawn to my friend Jason upon being defeated at a game of Chess.

http://gh.ffshrine.org?r=112104


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #207 on: September 05, 2007, 01:01:02 AM »
Have we mentioned the commercials where the dumb kids spill Kool Aid all over the kitchen, and the mom just smiles a "kids will be kids" kind of smile and shakes her head and cleans it up without question.  Without yelling "FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU DAMN KIDS BE MORE CAREFUL?!!  AS IF I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO DO AROUND THIS HOUSE, NOW I GOTTA CLEAN THIS GODDAMN MESS UP!!!  YOU ARE ALL GROUNDED! YOU HEAR ME?  GROUNDED!!!"

I want a line of commercials where the parents just go to town, yelling at  their uncontrolable kids. Kool-Aid: All the calories in that sugar have to go somewhere!  :^)


Offline RobtheBarbarian

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #208 on: September 07, 2007, 01:28:10 PM »
How about all these goddamn Clorox and whatever other bleaching disinfecting antibacterial sanitizing products? The ones with the houswife obsessively disinfecting EVERYthing ANYone touches. It's a little montage of the various uses of the product, but it gives the powerful impression that this is a psychotic woman who follows her children around the house spraying and wiping every single surface she can reach: behind the toilet, all the doorknobs, the countertop, the dog toys, the armrests on chairs, the cutlery.... After the commercials I don't so much think to myself "that's a practical, useful product" as I do "this woman needs medication".


Offline Tripe

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #209 on: September 07, 2007, 01:58:27 PM »
After the commercials I don't so much think to myself "that's a practical, useful product" as I do "this woman needs medication".

As will her kids due to their lack of a robust immune system that excessive cleaning engenders.