Author Topic: Commercials We HATE  (Read 127761 times)

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Offline RobtheBarbarian

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #135 on: August 13, 2007, 08:40:49 PM »
All commercials for gadgets that simplify processes we didn't know were difficult have women like that. Always in black and white, always angrily fumbling with something basic like they're recovering from a stroke.

"Why deal with complicated _____? Look at that mess! *woman manages to hurt herself in an implausible way* Ouch! Introducing the -lame catchy name-!"


Offline Shaggy

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #136 on: August 13, 2007, 08:45:24 PM »
First off, I hate any commercials shown before a movie. I know marketing people probably think that it was the best idea ever to do such a thing but if I wanted to watch commercials I have a TV at home for that.

Lawyer commercials - they practically are on there begging people to get into car accidents or other things and they always have the dumbest catch phrases.

Commercial for those vocational colleges that get you degrees in things like nursing assistance. There is one here locally for a place called Everest College where they almost are swearing at you for sitting on the couch and not calling them RIGHT NOW. I want to watch the program I tuned into, not watch some dork talk about how pissed off he is that I'm not picking up the phone right now. "Why arrncha pickin' up da phone, itz not that hard, geez man". Apparently it's too hard for the writer of these commercials to put something intelligent and non-insulting together or to get an actor that wasn't the director's drunk brother.

Sony's PS3 ads are also pretty lame, I haven't seen one that would actually convince me to put down $500-$600 for the thing (of course there aren't many games on it that would do that same thing for me either at this point). Then again most ads for games are lame these days, it's more about showing off their system logo that someone blended up on Photoshop in five minutes than it is about showing off the actual game.


Offline daltysmilth

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #137 on: August 13, 2007, 08:58:01 PM »
Yeah, that showing commercials before the movie honks me off, too.  I seriously thought about copying that letter addressing the problem from A Year At The Movies, but the problem is no one else seems to be concerned about it (judging from how many people actually laugh at those stupid Fandango commercials), so it probably would not do any good.
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Offline Junkyard

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #138 on: August 13, 2007, 09:16:28 PM »
Our local theater chain, Marcus Cinemas, used to do this big musical montage before the movie started, but after the previews. Now they do a short musical thing before the previews, but after the commercials, (Where they invite us to enjoy some previews of coming attractions,) as well as the post- preview musical thing. RRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!


Offline gbeenie

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #139 on: August 13, 2007, 09:18:31 PM »
>sigh< I've just been given the order to start putting commercials at the front of our movies. Sorry, guys.  :(
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Offline Raven

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #140 on: August 16, 2007, 08:42:37 PM »
Don't know if they've been brought up yet but I really hate the commercials for Sonic with the two idiots in the cars trying to be witty. 


Offline Jackster

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #141 on: August 16, 2007, 09:27:18 PM »
This is Bob.

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Bob is doing well.

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Very well indeed.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2007, 09:35:08 PM by Jackster »


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #142 on: August 17, 2007, 12:37:58 AM »
Ahhhh! Enzyte! The bane of anyone who tries to watch Comedy Central at any time at all.  Each commercial break is required to have at least one, often 2 commercials for Enzyte...


Offline Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #143 on: August 17, 2007, 10:39:26 AM »
Ahhhh! Enzyte! The bane of anyone who tries to watch Comedy Central at any time at all.  Each commercial break is required to have at least one, often 2 commercials for Enzyte...

Tells you something about who they think are watching that channel....

Like all the 900 numbers and "chat line" advertised on SpikeTV.


Offline Tripe

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #144 on: August 17, 2007, 10:54:54 AM »
All commercials for gadgets that simplify processes we didn't know were difficult have women like that. Always in black and white, always angrily fumbling with something basic like they're recovering from a stroke.

"Why deal with complicated _____? Look at that mess! *woman manages to hurt herself in an implausible way* Ouch! Introducing the -lame catchy name-!"

The ones I hate/love are for those Time Life CD collections. They always have the same format;

Hasbeen Singer Dude, nevergonnabe Chick and a host of assorted boomers waffling on about how this song or that takes them back.

My particular favorite is the one featuring Jerry Butler (I think the collection is called Solid Gold Soul or something like that.) As he reads the same script, with minor tweaks to fit his particular genre, as Kenny Rogers did for his commercial he occasionally looks at the camera as if to beg 'don't hate me for doing this, don't hate the Iceman. I have bill to pay"

And remember you could spend thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours just trying to find these songs, except you'd be certifiably insane if you did that.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2007, 11:30:17 AM by TripeHoundRedux »


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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #145 on: August 17, 2007, 10:32:15 PM »
Ahhhh! Enzyte! The bane of anyone who tries to watch Comedy Central at any time at all.  Each commercial break is required to have at least one, often 2 commercials for Enzyte...

Tells you something about who they think are watching that channel....

Like all the 900 numbers and "chat line" advertised on SpikeTV.

G4 is worse, trust me.


Offline RobtheBarbarian

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #146 on: August 20, 2007, 04:58:08 PM »
A cereal commercial dredged up an old hate of mine: commercials where people start to bang on things in the scenery to a lame rythm and make a lame little tune out of it.

Like

*Crunch* *Crunch*..... *Crunch* *Crunch* "Mmmmm!"... *Crunch* *Crunch* *Clang* *Bash* "Mmmm!"

It's repetative, annoying, awkward and sad. Just stop it and pay someone to write a goddamn jingle.

There's also a commercial that comes on around here late at night for a guy-on-guy phone dating service. The commercial has different guy stereotypes (the nerd, the swinger, the jock who looks exactly like Big McLargehuge) swinging their hips and shuffling their feet and trying very hard to look their soft-core porniest. It's not so much annoying as it is funny.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2007, 05:02:19 PM by RobtheBarbarian »


Offline kodiakthejuggler

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #147 on: August 21, 2007, 11:26:26 AM »
A cereal commercial dredged up an old hate of mine: commercials where people start to bang on things in the scenery to a lame rythm and make a lame little tune out of it.

Like

*Crunch* *Crunch*..... *Crunch* *Crunch* "Mmmmm!"... *Crunch* *Crunch* *Clang* *Bash* "Mmmm!"

It's repetative, annoying, awkward and sad. Just stop it and pay someone to write a goddamn jingle.

I wish the ad agencies would quit thinking this kind of stuff is clever, 'cause it's not. It hasn't been clever since the idea was first though up.


Offline daltysmilth

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #148 on: August 21, 2007, 03:31:08 PM »
I hate the Cheerios commercials with the little kids talking to their parents or grandparents or other adults about how Cheerios "lowers your cholesterol".  Whatever.  It started with that one with the little kid waking up his parents at an ungodly hour of the morning to give them some Cheerios and guilt, saying "You guys need to take some cholesterol off of you."  His parents, tired but amused, accept his offer of cereal and dietary assessment, despite his being four years old and likely having no medical training.  If I'd pulled something like that on my parents, they probably would have said, and rightly so, "You don't even know what cholesterol is.  Let us worry about that.  Now go back to bed, dammit!"

Another one involves another supposedly adorable young lad lying on (presumably) his father's stomach with his ear to his father's chest, saying "I hear something!  'B'thump, b'thump, b'thump!'", using an allegedly cute onomatopoeia.  His father explains "That's my heart talking to you."  I'm no cardiologist, but I'd say that if your heart ever starts talking to you, that's a fairly bad sign.  But the son, unaware of his father's mild dementia, becomes impatient and asks, "Does it ever say anything else?"  Then later in the commercial, the son notes to his father "I hear 'glorp, glorp'."  To which his father replies, "That's my stomach."  And the son asks, incredulously, "Your stomach talks too?" which the father confirms.  Now clearly the father is well beyond any help that Cheerios, or even something as potent as Frosted Cheerios can provide.  But maybe there's still hope for the son.

Of course the one that they've been showing at EVERY SINGLE COMMERCIAL BREAK FOR EVERY SINGLE SHOW ON TELEVISION FOR THE PAST TWO OR THREE YEARS is the one with the tow-headed young boy wearing diving goggles and a cape of some sort over his pajamas, obviously pretending to be some unnamed superhero, running past his grandfather before coming back and asking what is going on.  The grandfather reveals that he is preparing for a test.  When asked what subject, the grandfather replies "Cholesterol". 

Maybe these commercials wouldn't annoy me so much if they didn't show them, as previously stated, during EVERY SINGLE COMMERCIAL BREAK FOR EVERY SINGLE SHOW ON TELEVISION!!!
CROW:  (Sinisterly) The Secret Government Eggo Project...
--Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

"Jason, Chess is a game of chance."
-- My friend Shawn to my friend Jason upon being defeated at a game of Chess.

http://gh.ffshrine.org?r=112104


Offline RobtheBarbarian

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Re: Commercials We HATE
« Reply #149 on: August 21, 2007, 03:41:01 PM »
Of course the one that they've been showing at EVERY SINGLE COMMERCIAL BREAK FOR EVERY SINGLE SHOW ON TELEVISION FOR THE PAST TWO OR THREE YEARS is the one with the tow-headed young boy wearing diving goggles and a cape of some sort over his pajamas, obviously pretending to be some unnamed superhero, running past his grandfather before coming back and asking what is going on.  The grandfather reveals that he is preparing for a test.  When asked what subject, the grandfather replies "Cholesterol". 

Oh, that one. Toe-headed is a good description, by the way. He looks like a baby Donald Rumsfeld.