Author Topic: Save this movie!  (Read 17274 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Fuzzy Necromancer

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1905
  • Liked: 11
Save this movie!
« on: May 31, 2007, 05:53:41 PM »
Here's how this goes.

I'll submit the name of an odiously botched movie, something flawed in its execution if not necisarily in its premise. The next poster has to propose a way to salvage this film with a minimum of changes, and then submits her or his own canidate for cinematic salvation.

(If you've never seen or heard of the movie in question, look it up on IMDB)

Let's start with:
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Love doesn't hurt. It kills.

"Where there's smoke, there's a smoke-making machine."


Offline Hazzah

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1550
  • Liked: 2
  • D'oh
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2007, 05:55:37 PM »
Editing, just like all Potter movies.

Star Wars Ep I
Hi-Keeba!


Offline Junkyard

  • Can't Shoot Straight
  • *****
  • Posts: 8719
  • Liked: 5
  • Steampunk Monster Hunter
    • Riff Raff Theater
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2007, 07:28:40 PM »
A thermonuclear device planted in the center of Skywalker Ranch.

Van Helsing


Offline Hazzah

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1550
  • Liked: 2
  • D'oh
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2007, 07:56:29 PM »
A Visual effects department that knew what they were doing.
Hi-Keeba!


Offline Junkyard

  • Can't Shoot Straight
  • *****
  • Posts: 8719
  • Liked: 5
  • Steampunk Monster Hunter
    • Riff Raff Theater
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2007, 08:25:01 PM »
Oops, I think you missed half of that post.

Here:
Ishtar


Offline Hazzah

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1550
  • Liked: 2
  • D'oh
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2007, 08:28:25 PM »
A script that wasn't printed on toilet paper.

Next:

XMen III
Hi-Keeba!


Offline Junkyard

  • Can't Shoot Straight
  • *****
  • Posts: 8719
  • Liked: 5
  • Steampunk Monster Hunter
    • Riff Raff Theater
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2007, 08:43:37 PM »
Do you really need to ask? Singer.

Resident Evil 2


Offline Ortega

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1696
  • Liked: 33
    • Ortega's Covers
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2007, 11:53:07 PM »
more stripper zombies


ghost rider


Offline Junkyard

  • Can't Shoot Straight
  • *****
  • Posts: 8719
  • Liked: 5
  • Steampunk Monster Hunter
    • Riff Raff Theater
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2007, 06:03:58 AM »
A concept that wasn't created during a bad acid trip?

Terminator 3?


Offline msmpls

  • Magneto-cent Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 464
  • Liked: 0
  • Watch out for snakes!
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2007, 10:10:36 AM »
more steroids.

300
there, there my dear. Few corpses are worth tears.


Offline Junkyard

  • Can't Shoot Straight
  • *****
  • Posts: 8719
  • Liked: 5
  • Steampunk Monster Hunter
    • Riff Raff Theater
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2007, 10:28:30 AM »
Giving the audience more reason not to see the Spartans wiped off the face of the Earth.

Godzilla vs The Smog Monster?


Offline Hazzah

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1550
  • Liked: 2
  • D'oh
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #11 on: June 01, 2007, 03:50:18 PM »
Smoke is cooler than smog

Spder-Man 3
Hi-Keeba!


Offline Junkyard

  • Can't Shoot Straight
  • *****
  • Posts: 8719
  • Liked: 5
  • Steampunk Monster Hunter
    • Riff Raff Theater
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #12 on: June 01, 2007, 04:13:47 PM »
LESS DANCING, LESS TALKING, LESS DAMN RELATIONSHIP CRAP! WE DON'T CARE! GIVE US MORE CGI FIGHTING, YOU BASTARDS!!!! WE DON'T CARE THAT MJ IS A CRAPPY ACTRESS, WE DON'T CARE ABOUT GWEN STACY, WE DON'T CARE ABOUT HIS FRIGGIN' HALF WIT LANDLORD AND HIS WEAK WILLED DAUGHTER!!! I HAD TO CLOSE MY EYES DURING SOME SCENES!!! THE LAST TIME THAT HAPPENED WAS THE AUTOPSY SCENE IN INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! WHAT THE HELL-
Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh-ppphhhhheeeeewwwww.....    ....OOOOOHHHHMMMMMM.....OOOOOOHHHHMMMMMM......
Okay, I'm good.

Catwoman?
« Last Edit: June 01, 2007, 04:17:26 PM by Junkyard »


Offline Hazzah

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1550
  • Liked: 2
  • D'oh
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2007, 04:28:07 PM »
I haven't seen but three or so minutes of it...but horrible CGI, Benjamin Bratt, bad storyline, awful casting...yuck


Elektra?
Hi-Keeba!


Offline Fuzzy Necromancer

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1905
  • Liked: 11
Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #14 on: June 01, 2007, 04:34:39 PM »
Recast the main character and involve some people from the source material in script creation.

(PS: Fowl! You didn't say anything about how to save the movie)

Catwoman, again.
Love doesn't hurt. It kills.

"Where there's smoke, there's a smoke-making machine."