Author Topic: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"  (Read 16728 times)

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Offline Wiseblood

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #15 on: May 22, 2007, 10:15:08 AM »
Wrong thread.


Offline 6079SmithW

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #16 on: May 22, 2007, 10:25:36 AM »
Yeah, I own Glitter, Battlefield Earth, xXx, and Crossroads. Clearly, I have incredibly bad taste and gender confusion through the roof.


Offline Quicksilver

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #17 on: May 22, 2007, 08:05:23 PM »
I still havent seen this one, because of this issue, I'll get from blockbuster online, however it'll be a week maybe :- I hate waiting.
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Offline DoctorZ

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #18 on: May 23, 2007, 10:02:51 AM »
My local Blockbuster had it!  Normally I can't get anything there.  No Pan's Labyrinth, No Elmer Gantry...the list goes on.  You get the idea.  However I did find Cocktail and Crossroads there and sure enough they had a copy of Glitter.  I quickly grabbed it off the shelf with trembling hands and I found a Kung-Fu movie I hadn't seen yet to flop on top of it so nobody in line could see I was renting it.  I don't know about you but renting a movie at Blockbusters is only a few notches above standing in line at Wal-Mart.  The drek of our society cannot handle checkout lines. They simply don't know what to do.  They pay with credit cards, discuss movies with the staff and of course there are the promotions the poor clerks have to repeat to each and every customer slow things down to aproximately two rentals an hour.  Anyway, my turn comes and I step up with my copy of Glitter.  The clerk looks at me funny.  I hope I'm not in for the humiliation I got renting Crossroads.  He says, "You like Mariah Carey's stuff, huh?"   :speechless: Now what do I answer that with?  What does he mean by "stuff ?" Her music?  Her body?  What?  Any answer I feel will be wrong and I assume since he had to ask he hasn't a clue what Rifftrax is and I don't want to get into it with 6 other people in line.  I pull a total cop out and say "It's for my daughter." <I don't have a daughter.>  "Oh." is all I get in return along with the due date and I am free to go. 

Do you guys get some perverse pleasure in tormenting us like this?    :angry:
« Last Edit: May 23, 2007, 10:07:42 AM by DoctorZ »
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Offline Bob

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #19 on: May 23, 2007, 10:39:52 AM »
My local Blockbuster had it!  Normally I can't get anything there.  No Pan's Labyrinth, No Elmer Gantry...the list goes on.  You get the idea.  However I did find Cocktail and Crossroads there and sure enough they had a copy of Glitter.  I quickly grabbed it off the shelf with trembling hands and I found a Kung-Fu movie I hadn't seen yet to flop on top of it so nobody in line could see I was renting it.  I don't know about you but renting a movie at Blockbusters is only a few notches above standing in line at Wal-Mart.  The drek of our society cannot handle checkout lines. They simply don't know what to do.  They pay with credit cards, discuss movies with the staff and of course there are the promotions the poor clerks have to repeat to each and every customer slow things down to aproximately two rentals an hour.  Anyway, my turn comes and I step up with my copy of Glitter.  The clerk looks at me funny.  I hope I'm not in for the humiliation I got renting Crossroads.  He says, "You like Mariah Carey's stuff, huh?"   :speechless: Now what do I answer that with?  What does he mean by "stuff ?" Her music?  Her body?  What?  Any answer I feel will be wrong and I assume since he had to ask he hasn't a clue what Rifftrax is and I don't want to get into it with 6 other people in line.  I pull a total cop out and say "It's for my daughter." <I don't have a daughter.>  "Oh." is all I get in return along with the due date and I am free to go. 

Do you guys get some perverse pleasure in tormenting us like this?    :angry:

And your shifty eyes gave your lie away I am sure and now they will giggle when you come by again.    You will be know as the perv.


Offline Cloake

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #20 on: May 23, 2007, 12:24:18 PM »
The only thing to do now is impregnate a woman, have a female child, wait for her to grow up to age 14 or so, THEN go back to return Glitter.  It'll totally be worth the 8,000 dollar late fee to see the look on the clerk's face when he tells you that the clerk who rented Glitter out to you hasn't worked there in 10 years.


Offline eclipt1c

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #21 on: May 23, 2007, 12:52:42 PM »
You can always adopt.  Or  maybe even rent a kid for a day so you can return it.  Of course renting a child to pass off your lie for renting Glitter might be more embarrassing than actually renting Glitter itself, but hey at least the kid will get a free trip to the Zoo or something out of it.
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Offline Bob

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #22 on: May 23, 2007, 02:51:14 PM »
The only thing to do now is impregnate a woman, have a female child, wait for her to grow up to age 14 or so, THEN go back to return Glitter.  It'll totally be worth the 8,000 dollar late fee to see the look on the clerk's face when he tells you that the clerk who rented Glitter out to you hasn't worked there in 10 years.

Damn, you give better advise that Dear Abby AND Ann Landers combined.


Offline DoctorZ

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #23 on: May 24, 2007, 08:38:05 AM »
The only thing to do now is impregnate a woman, have a female child, wait for her to grow up to age 14 or so, THEN go back to return Glitter.  It'll totally be worth the 8,000 dollar late fee to see the look on the clerk's face when he tells you that the clerk who rented Glitter out to you hasn't worked there in 10 years.

This is such a fine idea, but unless there is a paradime shift to sexy = fat, balding men over 50,  it's not going to happen unless I drop a fat roll of 1K bills at her feet!

eclipt1c - too selfish to adopt, borrow or renting a child for a day would be better.

Another idea is get a pair of "Groucho" glasses and go incognito whenever they decide to do a heinous flick like this again.
" A woman who takes her husband about with her everywhere is like a cat that goes on playing with a mouse long after she's killed it." SAKI


Offline Otis

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #24 on: May 24, 2007, 06:01:17 PM »
I've gotten most of my Rifftrax movies from the library, which thankfully has self checkout (although I have had to reserve several..."Yeah, I'm here to pick up my Crossroads reserve?"). But we took rare trip to the video store yesterday, and I had my shopping list of movies not at the library to try and rent. The only one I could find on the shelves was Glitter. So, top this. As I was RENTING my copy of Glitter, I actually asked the clerk if they had Over the Top or Troll 2 (which they didn't). Thankfully, the clerk spared me the humiliation I rightfully deserved.


Offline Minnesota

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #25 on: May 24, 2007, 07:04:50 PM »
lol, sounds similar to my Battlefield Earth experience at Circuit City... I bring it up to the counter then ask if he can look up Troll 2 for me... as if buying Battlefield Earth wasn't enough lol ... honestly I wasn't as embarrassed as I should've been ... Rifftrax what have you done to my pride of decency?!


Offline pyro

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #26 on: May 24, 2007, 11:25:56 PM »
My mom asked at the other Blockbuster for Glitter for me cause I was too ashamed to...  Was sort of embarrassing earlier explaining Red Dawn and Roadhouse to a girl who was taking out some bad film I hadn't heard of and asking about bad films, was probably kinda creepy writing down the quote "I used to fuck guys like you in prison" to show how bad Roadhouse is, but I couldn't say it out loud next to my manager and another customer...


Offline Maverick Joe Six-Pack

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #27 on: May 25, 2007, 08:45:30 AM »
When I saw this thread I thought is this some kind of self help thread? 

"Hi my name is Doug and I rented Glitter"  :-

I'm sure the guys at Netflix did a double take when they say that there was a short wait on Glitter. 
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Offline Quicksilver

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #28 on: May 26, 2007, 07:04:12 AM »
 Me and my gf went to blockbuster to rent this one together. It was flat out embarrassing for both of us. The best part though, the girl at the counter asked if we wanted a bag! lol. The first time ever being asked that for a movie. We proudly walked out sans bag.

I've realized how much the state of the dvd has to do with the quality of its content.  I get home, go to pop it in, and look at the dvd, it looked like some one had thrown the dvd across the road, not once but twice, I had to pick the standard size side of the disk, since it had less gashes in it. Somehow, the dvd didnt skip once. Apparently the dvd player in xbox 360's is pretty good.
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Offline Cosmic Muse

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Re: "My name is ___ and I rented 'Glitter'"
« Reply #29 on: May 27, 2007, 05:29:22 PM »
Would I be too bold if I stated I feel like kicking myself for not buying Glitter at Wal-Mart when I had the chance several years back?
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