What have we learned?

[NickE]

What I have NOT learned, is why -- at 54'10" into the movie -- there is a supersonic plane parked on top of one of the buildings.

[DoctorZ]

You can buy a bigger organ.

Disembodio needs a voice coach.

[Minnesota]

We learned that orphanariums will let you bring a pet

[MarkAndrew]

What I have NOT learned, is why -- at 54'10" into the movie -- there is a supersonic plane parked on top of one of the buildings.

The Venture Bros were in town?

[SuperMappy]

I've learned that it's NOT a good idea to walk up to cars that have guys you've recently beaten up.

(Honestly, what the hell was he thinking??)

[Sheik Yerbouti]

I learned that if you're making a movie set in the 1980's, you can just put a caption at the beginning that says '1983' and make no further effort to be authentic.

I learned that, according to the filmmakers, fashionable people in the 1980's dressed in whatever random items of clothings they had around the house.  Fishing waders, pinwheel hats, frilly pirate shirts, whatever.  Case in point, Mariah's Tour de France outfit or that Andy Dick guy's suitjacket with leather sleeves.

I also learned that I have no idea how I was supposed to feel about Dice by the end of the movie.  Was he a good guy?  A bad guy?  A whiny douche bag?  Am I supposed to be sad that a perpetually stoned-looking Terrance Howard shoots him?

Oh yeah, I also learned that Maryland, a state with a population of over five million, looks a lot like rural Minnesota.  Thanks movie!

[estwald]

I learned that the only smart person in the film was Mariah's dad. He knew to just give her some money so she'd go away.

I learned that a good publicist needs to have a guy who follows her around, stands behind her and does nothing.

I learned that every street in 80's New York was a steamy, deserted back alley.

And I learned that if I ever sell my best singer's contract for 100K, I may want to wait, you know, until I HAVE THE MONEY, before I hand over the contract. Taking I.O.U.s may not be the best idea.

[Tyrant]

  I learned that, despite all my memories to the contrary, 1983 apperantly looked and felt a lot like the late 1990s, but with alot of 80s cars on the streets.

  I learned that even in the early 80s, white DJs were only cool when trying to act black.

  And most important of all, I learned that Disembaudio is a better singer than Mariah Carey.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I learned that, should Mariah Carey be called upon to repair a leaking duct, she need reach no further than her shoulder.

I learned that a "DJ of the Year" wearing an open leather jacket and no shirt can complain to a pop star about her scantily cladness.

I learned that being a pimp consists of general predatory lending and entertainment industry work, and need not actually involve prostitution rings.

I learned that the big-name director "Kurt" bears a striking resemblance to my former manager Tony, and has about the same level of people skills.

I learned that it was a date.

I learned that Mariah Carey, despite evidence to the contrary, did not mean to turn me on.

I learned that sex sells.

I learned that the glitter cannot overpower the artists.

I learned that you have to flicker like fire or move like a fish.

[hare.29]

I learned that the glitter cannot overpower the artists.

I learned, however, that glitter can overpower the artist, provided the artist has Mariah Carey's acting skills.

[Doctor Who?]

I learned that the name of your movie doesn't have to have anything to do with anything that happened in the movie.

[Doc Steve]

I learned that a washed-up, never-was record producer, circa late 1983 to 1984, can always look back fondly upon the time Spin magazine named him "DJ of the Year..."

...which is doubly impressive when you consider that Spin's first issue was May 1985. 

[CJones]

I learned that Billie's dad will open the front door, without checking who it is first, while carrying multiple $1000 bills on his person.

[Doctor Who?]

I learned that Billie's dad will open the front door, without checking who it is first, while carrying multiple $1000 bills on his person.

I learned that someone who has enough money that they can carry thousands of dollars on their person at any time will still live in the most run down house in town and refuse to support their kid.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I learned that Billie's dad will open the front door, without checking who it is first, while carrying multiple $1000 bills on his person.

I learned that someone who has enough money that they can carry thousands of dollars on their person at any time will still live in the most run down house in town and refuse to support their kid.

That's usually how people like that end up having thousands of dollars...by being cheapskates.

I also learned that Padma Lakshmi should thank Allah, Jesus, Buddha, her lucky stars and whoever she was "nice to" every day for her job on "Top Chef"....