Author Topic: Now Available - Battle for the Lost Planet  (Read 144 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online Pak-Man

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 18036
  • Liked: 3886
  • Insert $0.25 to Play!
Now Available - Battle for the Lost Planet
« on: November 20, 2020, 09:36:11 AM »

When Harry Trent runs afoul of some Rent-A-Cops, he escapes in the most sensible way: by blasting off into space in a stolen ship. There’s just one thing he didn’t count on: he can’t return for five years! It’s unclear why, something about elliptical orbits or something. Who are we, Galileo Brahe??

Fortunately, Harry uses the unforced time to better himself as a person, teach himself new skills, and broaden his mind. We are just kidding, he paints a face on his space-pillow and humps it.

When Harry finally returns to Earth, it’s a vastly different planet than the one he left behind. For one, everyone points at him and says “Hey there’s the sicko that has sex with his pillow!” and “Don’t get that pillow anywhere near me!” Also, some Pig-Men nuked the planet then enslaved the survivors.

It’s up to our hero, a vaguely British woman who’s required by movie law to fall in love with him, a guy named Mad Dog, and the elderly version of our hero who occasionally narrates from the future, to stop the Pig-Men and restore order to the lost planet! Fluff up your favorite pillow and hunker down with Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Battle for the Lost Planet!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, and Sean Thomason

Contributing writers: Jason Miller and Zach Shatzer

Offline wihogfan

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1768
  • Liked: 380
Re: Now Available - Battle for the Lost Planet
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2020, 06:58:24 PM »
My take from the last movie you watched thread here on the forum in 2018:
Galaxy (1986) aka Battle for the Lost Planet
After hijacking a space shuttle, a spy finds that the controls are malfunctioning and sees alien battleships approaching Earth. Many years later, when the arc of his flight path returns to earth, he finds the planet under alien domination.

Kind of liked the opening shot of the large plastic model spaceship crashed in the surf (terrible looking plastic model, but I’m forgiving). That lasted about a half a second and then the narration started and killed my willingness to forgive.

Some WTFs (includes spoilers):
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Would make good riffing material, but on its own it’s pretty damn boring. 

Offline CJones

  • Bilbo Baggins Balladeer
  • ******
  • Posts: 4698
  • Liked: 1175
  • My name is Raphaël Ambrosius Costeau
Re: Now Available - Battle for the Lost Planet
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2020, 08:08:11 PM »
The ship effects remind me MST3K. But MST3K was intentionally cheesy looking, these are presumably not.

Offline Trekker4747

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1959
  • Liked: 475
Re: Now Available - Battle for the Lost Planet
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2020, 04:02:15 PM »
"It's the Two Guys From Andromeda!"

Wow! Very deep cut there!