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Author Topic: Now Available - Suburban Sasquatch  (Read 311 times)

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Offline MrTorso

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Now Available - Suburban Sasquatch
« on: May 01, 2020, 11:27:45 AM »
https://www.rifftrax.com/suburban-sasquatch



Right off the bat, there’s one thing you should know about the Suburban Sasquatch: his nipples are huge.

Huge, detailed, and poorly sculpted. He barely comes near a suburb in the entire course of the movie, so it should probably have been called Big Detailed Nipples Sasquatch instead. But hey, hindsight is 20/20. (20 is also roughly the diameter of the sasquatch’s nipples, in inches).

It’s an extremely homemade horror film in the vein of Feeders. Speaking of veins, the ones in this movie are all full of cheap digital blood that squirts out like a “violent” computer game from the 90s. And the cast of characters full of that cheap digital blood is rich: schlubby reporter guy, the cops with thick Pennsylvania accents and floppy hats, and the Native American huntress who shows up with a bow sort of magically, whenever, and lives in a mystical tent from the bargain bin at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

There’s too much arm-ripping blood-chugging goodness to describe here — this is a special one. Be warned: at one point in the film, a stuffed toy dog is ripped in half. It’s, uh, “gruesome”? Head to not-really-the-surburbs with Mike, Kevin and Bill for Suburban Sasquatch!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka and Sean Thomason

Contributing Writers: Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer ​​​


https://www.rifftrax.com/suburban-sasquatch
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Offline Pak-Man

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Re: Now Available - Suburban Sasquatch
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2020, 12:20:56 PM »
That is what I call an instant purchase.


Offline eegah

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Re: Now Available - Suburban Sasquatch
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2020, 12:32:32 PM »
That is what I call an instant purchase.

Was it the nipples that did it?


Johnny Unusual

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Re: Now Available - Suburban Sasquatch
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2020, 12:33:48 PM »
Oof... this looks like a rough one.


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: Now Available - Suburban Sasquatch
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2020, 12:52:30 PM »
OK, this one's essential, everyone. I think we're going to be speaking of it in the same hushed tones we reserve for Birdemic or Rollergator. Although it's still more watchable than Rollergator and its fake birds are sill slightly less fake than Birdemic.