Author Topic: Now Available - Velvet Smooth  (Read 470 times)

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Offline MrTorso

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Now Available - Velvet Smooth
« on: February 28, 2020, 06:00:50 PM »
https://www.rifftrax.com/velvet-smooth



Who is Velvet Smooth? A no-nonsense 1970s blaxploitation heroine, or a new yogurt brand full of decadent dessert flavors? It’s the former, baby, so put down your spoons and get groovy!

Velvet Smooth is a detective in Harlem - unlike the detective in The Guy From Harlem, who lives in Miami. Here’s hoping the two of them will meet up in some future Avengers-type supergroup movie, maybe when The Guy returns to Harlem to pick up some of his old stuff from a storage unit.

Velvet Smooth is just minding her own business, lounging and generally being a foxy far-out chick, when she gets hired by a crime boss with the world’s most upsetting rat-tail. The rat-tail guy is in trouble because some masked goons keep robbing the shoeshine stands and magazine salesmen that make up his less-than-impressive criminal empire. Can Velvet help him out? You bet your bellbottoms she can. Can anyone in this movie full of martial arts action do convincing martial arts at all? No. No, they cannot.

Enter a world of wood paneling, basement casinos, and hideous sectional sofas. Join Mike, Kevin and Bill for Velvet Smooth!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka and Sean Thomason

Contributing writers: Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer


https://www.rifftrax.com/velvet-smooth
Check out my webshop for political, punk, pop culture buttons, patches and more! www.bigmeanpunk.com


Offline losingmydignity

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Re: Now Available - Velvet Smooth
« Reply #1 on: February 29, 2020, 03:11:38 AM »
She might be velvet smooth but does she like steak and scotch?


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: Now Available - Velvet Smooth
« Reply #2 on: February 29, 2020, 05:42:17 AM »
Speifically, does she like it burnt and shitty (respectively)?


Offline dbsommer

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Re: Now Available - Velvet Smooth
« Reply #3 on: February 29, 2020, 10:56:43 AM »
Speifically, does she like it burnt and shitty (respectively)?

I thought they said 'suspect scotch' at some point. But it has been a while since I saw the man no on has seen described in perfect detail in an unnaturally loud voice.


Offline CJones

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Re: Now Available - Velvet Smooth
« Reply #4 on: February 29, 2020, 12:52:50 PM »
Why is that entire apartment made of plywood? Was that a decorating style in the 70s, or did they just hire the cheapest set designer ever?


Offline losingmydignity

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Re: Now Available - Velvet Smooth
« Reply #5 on: February 29, 2020, 10:10:09 PM »
Why is that entire apartment made of plywood? Was that a decorating style in the 70s, or did they just hire the cheapest set designer ever?

https://www.estately.com/blog/2012/08/you-cant-fight-this-feeling-anymore-wood-paneling-is-back-and-completely-awesome/


Don't fight it!


Offline wihogfan

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Re: Now Available - Velvet Smooth
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2020, 11:16:51 AM »
Best riff by the guys in awhile. Definitely helped by the movie and the music.


Offline Pastor of Muppets

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Re: Now Available - Velvet Smooth
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2020, 05:10:51 PM »
Why is that entire apartment made of plywood? Was that a decorating style in the 70s, or did they just hire the cheapest set designer ever?
 

Half of my sister's house is like that.  I like the look personally.
I'm not particularly religious, and I don't really like Muppets, but I do love word play.