List of Crap #120: Top 50 Fictional Talking Animals!

[F-Zero]

#21

Howard the Duck
(Marvel comics)  #1 stethacantus, #8 Pak-Man

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/M2RNrmCJLtA" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/M2RNrmCJLtA</a>

A funny talking duck “trapped in a world he never made”.

Howard's adventures are generally social satires, while a few are parodies of genre fiction with a metafictional awareness of the medium. The book is existentialist, and its main joke, according to writer Gerber, is that there is no joke: "... that life's most serious moments and most incredibly dumb moments are often distinguishable only by a momentary point of view.

Voiced by Chip Zien in the 1986 movie and later by Kevin Michael Richardson and Seth Green in cartoons.

“CLEVE-LAND? Uh huh! That's a perfect name for this WEIRD planet!”


 Winnie the Pooh
(Winnie the Pooh)  #13 Johnny Unusual, #18 ColeStratton, #18 Pak-Man, #19 MartyS (Gromit), #22 RVR II, #23 Cjones

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/eTK9x4baQY8" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/eTK9x4baQY8</a>

A talking teddy bear created by English author A. A. Milne and kidnapped by Disney.

In popular film adaptations, Pooh has been voiced by actors Sterling Holloway, Hal Smith, and Jim Cummings in English, and Yevgeny Leonov in Russian.

In the Milne books, Pooh is naive and slow-witted, but he is also friendly, thoughtful and steadfast. Although he and his friends agree that he is "a bear of very little brain", Pooh is occasionally acknowledged to have a clever idea, usually driven by common sense.

Pooh is also a talented poet and the stories are frequently punctuated by his poems and "hums". Although he is humble about his slow-wittedness, he is comfortable with his creative gifts.

Pooh is very fond of food, particularly "hunny", but also condensed milk

“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.”

[F-Zero]

#20

Brian Griffin
(Family Guy)  #2 linszoid, #7 Cjones, #23 stethacantus

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/zTaO9A-0oeE" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/zTaO9A-0oeE</a>

Apparently he’s the dog on the cartoon Family Guy.  He can talk, generally walks on his hind legs (using his front legs as arms), has opposable thumbs, and often acts more rationally than the other characters in the series.  Brian's human attributes receive little acknowledgment and no explanation; he is largely treated as a human character.

Voiced by Seth MacFarlane.  Brian’s voice is MacFarlane’s normal speaking voice.  William H. Macy auditioned for the role.

“Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?”


 Droopy
(MGM cartoons)  #2 fluncheon, #5 F-Zero, #25 Russoguru

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/tO6KiSNmDL8" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/tO6KiSNmDL8</a>

A lethargic droopy-faced basset hound created by Tex Avery.

Essentially the polar opposite of Avery's other MGM character, the loud and wacky Screwy Squirrel, Droopy moves slowly and lethargically, speaks in a jowly monotone voice, and—though hardly an imposing character—is shrewd enough to outwit his enemies. When finally roused to anger, often by a bad guy laughing heartily at him, Droopy is capable of beating adversaries many times his size with a comical thrashing ("You know what? That makes me mad!").

Droopy's meek, deadpan voice and personality were modeled after the character Wallace Wimple on the radio comedy Fibber McGee and Molly; actor Bill Thompson, who played Wimple, was the original voice of Droopy. During his time in the US Navy during World War II, the role was played by other voice actors, including Don Messick, who reprised the role in the 1990s. Avery's preferred gag man Heck Allen said that Avery himself provided the voice on several occasions, and "You couldn't tell the difference.”

“Hello all you happy people...you know what? I'm the hero.”

[PsychoGoatee]

A lot of greats here yessir. Watched Howard the Duck one time this summer with some friends, I either had never seen it or not since I was a wee lad. Pretty darn entertaining movie, the first half in particular I found really really awesome. The second half with the action chase scenes etc a bit less, but still, good movie. I put the ol' Gerber run of the comics and more recent Chip run on my to-read list, sounds like solid stuff.

Secret of NIMH I still need to watch, that's been on my list forever.

[Russoguru]

I'm going to give those who voted for Howard the Duck the benefit of the doubt and elect to believe they meant Howard the Duck from the Guardians of the Galaxy films and not Howard the Duck from his godawful piece of shit self-titled movie.

[linszoid]

I was about to post the opposite

[Pak-Man]

Trust me, the comics are WAY better.

Kicking myself for forgetting Droopy.

[F-Zero]

#19

Darkwing Duck
(Darkwing Duck)  #3 Pak-Man, #15 linszoid, #15 Psychogoatee, #24 Johnny Unusual

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/YfeXgo3N1jg" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/YfeXgo3N1jg</a>

The superhero alter-ego of mild-mannered Drake Mallard.  Ummm…Drake placed earlier in this LOC.   Do alter-egos count as unique entries?  Ah who cares.

Darkwing struggles to balance his egotistical craving for fame and attention against his desire to be a good father to Gosalyn and help do good in St. Canard. Most episodes put these two aspects of Darkwing's character in direct conflict, though Darkwing's better nature usually prevails.

Darkwing Duck is also the first Disney Afternoon property that was produced completely as a genre parody. Every episode of Darkwing Duck is laden with references to superhero, pulp adventure, or super-spy fiction.

Voliced by James Cummings, who is known for his ability to mimic Sterling Holloway's high voice, as well as for giving a certain gruff-sounding voice to several other characters.

“I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the jailer who throws away the key! I AM-- [notices he is alone] feeling really stupid. Boy I hate it when I'm early. You'd think criminal masterminds would be more punctual.”


 Pink Panther
(movies, cartoons)  #2 MartyS (Gromit), #3 RVR II

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/59lKdaXX6Eo" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/59lKdaXX6Eo</a>

Animated character who appeared in the opening and/or closing credit sequences of every film in the Pink Panther series except for A Shot in the Dark and Inspector Clouseau. In the storyline of the original film, "the Pink Panther" was the name of a valuable pink diamond named for a flaw that showed a "figure of a springing panther" when held up to the light in a certain way; in the credits this was translated to an animated pink panther.

The character is closely associated with "The Pink Panther Theme", composed by Henry Mancini.

In an early series of Pink Panther animated cartoons, Pink generally remained silent, speaking only in two theatrical shorts, Sink Pink (one line) and Pink Ice (throughout the film). Rich Little provided Pink's voice in these shorts, modeling it on that of David Niven (who had portrayed Clouseau's jewel thief nemesis in the original live-action film).

Technically he’s a fictional animal, but he never speaks in the Pink Panther movies, and when he speaks in the early cartoon series he only speaks in a few episodes AND when he does it’s only by Rich Little.  The 90s cartoon series doesn’t count because nothing from the 90s counts.  It just doesn’t seem right to include him so therefore he is disqualified from this List of Crap.

“Why can't man be more like animals?”

[F-Zero]

#18

Heckle & Jeckle
(Terrytoons)  #1 F-Zero, #3 fluncheon

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/WReS1ogh9U4" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/WReS1ogh9U4</a>

A pair of identical talking magpies. 

Heckle and Jeckle were two fast thinking tricksters who could do impossible things by virtue of being well aware that they're cartoon characters, a lot of the time they'd mess with somebody just for fun, but there were also plenty of times that they served as comedic heroes trying to help someone out or give a antagonist his comeuppance.

For their first few cartoons they always changed their voices from scene to scene for comedic effect but not long after they were given more consistent vocals. One magpie spoke with an English accent, while the other spoke with a New York dialect, there seems to be a great deal of uncertainty as to which was which with some viewers, the first short to state who was who was "Bulldozing The Bull", where they clearly refer to each other by name, with the Brooklyn accent belonging to Heckle and the English accent belonging to Jeckle, and this remained wholly consistent through all the cartoons.

They usually referred to each other by nick names as opposed to their real ones, Heckle often refers to Jeckle simply as 'chum' or 'pal', while Jeckle often refers to Heckle as 'old chap' 'old boy' and 'old feather-head', indicating a close friendship between them, some people believe them to be brothers, however this has never been stated.

both were voiced at different times by Sid Raymond (1946–47), Ned Sparks (1947–51), Roy Halee (1951–61), Dayton Allen (1956–66) and Frank Welker (1979).[While in the pilot for Curbside, Heckle was voiced by Toby Huss and Jeckle was voiced by comedian Bobcat Goldthwait.

The original voicer Sid Raymond is best known for his portrayal of Baby Huey.

“[singing] Give us a house to wreck, we’ll tear it down by heck, we’ll pull out the pipes and tear down the walls and chop the chimney till it falls just give us a house to wreck!”

[F-Zero]

#17

Garfield
(United Features Syndicate comic strip)  #10 Russoguru, #14 ColeStratton, #17 Psychogoatee, #17 RVR II, #20 linszoid

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/ryWObVJUOaE" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/ryWObVJUOaE</a>

Garfield is set in Muncie, Indiana the home of Jim Davis according to the television special Happy Birthday, Garfield. Common themes in the strip include Garfield's laziness, obsessive eating, coffee, and disdain of Mondays and diets. Garfield is also shown to manipulate people to get whatever he wants.

By 2002, Garfield became the world's most syndicated strip, appearing in 2,570 newspapers with 263 million readers worldwide; by 2004, Garfield appeared in nearly 2,600 newspapers and sold from $750 million to $1 billion worth of merchandise in 111 countries.

Garfield's animation debut was on The Fantastic Funnies, which aired on CBS in May 15, 1980, voiced by actor Scott Beach.  Scoot Beach had a line as a stormtrooper in the original Star Wars.

As a teenager something about Garfield annoyed me so much I vowed to never, ever look at or hear anything by Garfield ever again, and I never have after all these years. Therefore, Garfield is disqualified from this List of Crap, and no quote.   

[F-Zero]

#16

Duckman
(Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man)  #1 fluncheon, #2 F-Zero, #15 Russoguru

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/blppKS-nz9g" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/blppKS-nz9g</a>

Eric T. Duckman (voiced by Jason Alexander) is a widowed, lewd, self-hating, egocentric anthropomorphic duck who lives with his family in Los Angeles (as mentioned in the episode "Bev Takes a Holiday") and works as a private detective.

Very dark, very quick, and very funny.  One of the best cartoons of all time.  In January 2009, IGN listed Duckman as the 48th best in the Top 100 Best Animated TV Shows. The show was critically acclaimed.  Episodes "T.V. or not to Be", "Noir Gang", and "Duckman and Cornfed in Haunted Society Plumbers" were nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Animated Program in 1994, 1996, and 1997, respectively.  If it's from the 90s it's good.

The show regularly featured high-profile guest stars and additional voices, including: Sandra Bernhard, Kim Cattrall, Tim Curry, James Doohan, Gilbert Gottfried, Phil Hartman, Andrea Martin, Bernie Mac, Leonard Nimoy, Randy Savage, Joe Walsh, Billy West, Henry Winkler to name only a very few.

“I don't get it. I break for animals if they're big enough to dent my car. I don't pop any zits above the eye line. I treat others the way I'd like to be treated.”

[F-Zero]

#15

Duffy
(A Talking Cat!?!)  #1 George-2.0, #4 fluncheon, #8 F-Zero

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/lRNYdBQOT-g" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/lRNYdBQOT-g</a>

A bored-sounding Eric Roberts lends his voice (likely via cellphone app) to Duffy, a lovable cat who can talk.  Eric Roberts' dialogue was recorded in 15 minutes.

The film is one of several direct-to-video family films directed by David DeCoteau under the pseudonym Mary Crawford. 

Critical reception has been predominantly negative,with Film.com criticizing the character of Duffy.  The A.V. Club gave a mostly negative review for the film, but stated that "for lovers of utter, unredeemable trash, it is highly recommended."

In an interview, DeCoteau said of the film that "people have called me who I haven't seen since high school who said, 'David, after 100 movies you've finally made a movie we like.'" He added, "I watched it again, because I hadn't seen it since we made it, and it is so ridiculous and hilarious and over-the-top."

…huh?  I haven't seen self-delusion like this since Ed Wood.

“Hi. I'm a talking cat.”

[F-Zero]

#14

Hobbes
(Calvin and Hobbes)  #1 Johnny Unusual, #4 linszoid, #16 Cjones, #20 F-Zero

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/tCacpRnWarkg" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/tCacpRnWarkg</a>

A sardonic stuffed tiger who befriends Calvin, a precocious, mischievous and adventurous six-year-old boy.  to Calvin, Hobbes is a living anthropomorphic tiger, while all the other characters see Hobbes as an inanimate stuffed toy.
 
Hobbes is named after the 17th-century philosopher Thomas Hobbes, who held what Watterson describes as "a dim view of human nature."[ He typically exhibits a greater understanding of consequences than Calvin, although rarely intervenes in Calvin's activities beyond a few oblique warnings. The friendship between the two characters provides the core dynamic of the strip.

Although the visual possibilities of animation appealed to creator Watterson, the idea of finding a voice for Calvin made him uncomfortable, as did the idea of working with a team of animators. Ultimately, Calvin and Hobbes was never made into an animated series.

"I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.”

[F-Zero]

#13

Scooby-Doo
(Scooby-Doo,Where Are You!)  #1 PsychoGoatee, #9 ColeStratton, #13 RVR II, #17 Cjones

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/Edr6_-L3bi4" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/Edr6_-L3bi4</a>

A talking brown Great Dane who helps solves mysteries with friends Fred, Daphne, Velma, and Shaggy involving supposedly supernatural creatures through a series of antics and missteps.

The original voice cast featured veteran voice actor Don Messick as Scooby-Doo, radio DJ Casey Kasem as Shaggy, actor Frank Welker as Fred, actress Nicole Jaffe as Velma, and musician Indira Stefanianna as Daphne. Scooby's speech patterns closely resembled an earlier cartoon dog, Astro from The Jetsons (1962–63), also voiced by Messick.

Dr. Steven Long, associate professor in Speech Pathology and Audiology at Marquette University, was asked to identify Scooby-Doo's speech impediment were it real. Scooby does not so much mangle words as add letters or replace letters, usually an R in front of a beginning-vowel, or one for another consonant. Dr. Long calls this process "rhoticization", and diagnosed Scooby with the previously-unknown disorder of "Rhotic Replacement".

"Ruh-roh--RAGGY!!!"

[F-Zero]

#12

Baloo
(Jungle Book)  #6 ColeStratton, #6 George-2.0, #8 Cjones, #14 linszoid

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/9ogQ0uge06o" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/9ogQ0uge06o</a>

Baloo, a sloth bear, is the strict teacher of the cubs of the Seeonee wolf pack. His most challenging pupil is the "man-cub" Mowgli. Baloo and Bagheera, a panther, save Mowgli from Shere Khan the tiger, and endeavor to teach Mowgli the Law of the Jungle in many of The Jungle Book stories.

In the Disney version, Baloo (voiced by Phil Harris) is portrayed as a friendly, even-tempered character who lives a responsibility-free lifestyle, seemingly far removed from the law teacher in Kipling's book

Baloo returns in the 2003 animated sequel The Jungle Book 2 in which he is voiced by John Goodman.  In the 2016 Disney live-action film version of The Jungle Book, Baloo is voiced by Bill Murray.

“Man village? They'll ruin him. They'll make a man out of him."

[F-Zero]

#11

Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles
(Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles)  #3 PsychoGoatee, #5 Iron Curtain, #7 Pak-Man, #15 ColeStratton

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/brS0kgMkoBY" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/brS0kgMkoBY</a>

Four fictional teenaged anthropomorphic turtles named after Italian Renaissance artists.

From their home in the sewers of New York City, they battle petty criminals, evil overlords, mutated creatures, and alien invaders while attempting to remain hidden from society.
The characters originated in comic books published by Mirage Studios and expanded into cartoon series, films, video games, toys, and other merchandise.

Leonardo- The tactical, courageous leader and devoted student of his sensei.  As the most conscientious of the four, he often bears the burden of responsibility for his brothers, which commonly leads to conflict with Raphael.

Michelangelo- The most stereotypical teenager of the team, Michelangelo is a free-spirited, relaxed, goofy and jokester, known for his love of pizza. He provides the comic relief, though he still has an adventurous side. The least mature of the four Turtles, he shows characteristics of a "surfer" type and is often depicted with a Southern Californian accent.

Donatello– The scientist, inventor, engineer, and technological genius. Donatello is perhaps the least violent turtle, preferring to use his knowledge to solve conflicts, but never hesitates to defend his brothers.

Raphael-  The team's bad boy. He has an aggressive nature, and seldom hesitates to throw the first punch. He is often depicted with an unintelligible New York accent. His personality can be fierce and sarcastic, and oftentimes delivers deadpan humor.

“April O'Neil: What are you?
Leonardo: We're ninjas.
Raphael: We're mutants!
Donatello: Technically, we're turtles.
Michaelangelo: And we're teenagers. But we can still have adult conversations.
April O'Neil: So you're...Ninja Mutant Turtle Teenagers?
Donatello: When you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous!”