Author Topic: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution  (Read 435 times)

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Offline MrTorso

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Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« on: January 12, 2018, 11:32:56 AM »
https://www.rifftrax.com/the-journey-absolution



Mario Lopez takes his dimples to space military school in The Journey: Absolution! A movie that contains no journey and even less absolution. But it does contain dialogue like this, an actual conversation in the film:

"What time is it?"
"9:22."
"9:22, that's about what I thought."

Speaking of time, the movie finds us 30 years after some sort of vague apocalypse that has led to some sort of vague future military base where Mario Lopez, Richard Grieco, and Jaime Pressly can vaguely act. One thing that isn’t vague: the movie is mostly about shirtless army guys doing shirtless things together, shirtlessly. Think the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun but with even fewer shirts. Also it turns out later that some of the shirtless guys are aliens. Or monsters from another dimension, or something. It’s not totally clear, but the important thing is, it’s exactly 9:22.

If that’s not enough, this film was made by the same director who brought you A Talking Cat!?! (he released that one under a pseudonym, but put his own name on The Journey: Absolution, so make that of what you will).

This one is a lot of fun, we hope you’ll join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for The Journey: Absolution. No shirts required!


<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/_qp-d8FRQNQ&amp;t" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/_qp-d8FRQNQ&amp;t</a>

https://www.rifftrax.com/the-journey-absolution

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Offline CJones

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2018, 11:48:39 AM »
Speaking of which, when are you guys going to do "A Talking Cat!?"?


Offline ManUnderMask

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2018, 04:46:20 PM »
16 minutes cut. I thought you weren't going to cut that much anymore.
I survived the San Diego Comic Con 2010 Hall H stabbing.


Offline Edward J Grug III

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2018, 07:31:32 PM »
16 minutes cut. I thought you weren't going to cut that much anymore.

Well, 16 compared to 30 isn’t that much...
FINE


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2018, 08:01:56 PM »
Ah, the homoerotic films of David DeCoteau.  I remember when Netflix added his "1313" series thinking "Huh, sexy gay thrillers.  I guess it's a genre that's aiming for an untapped market, seeing as how so many sexy thrillers tend to be marketed towards straight people."  Too bad they are terrible.  Like, very very very bad.  BUT, I will say, one is a slasher movie called Actor Slash Model and I admire the wonderful stupidity of that punny title.


Offline ManUnderMask

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2018, 07:57:15 PM »
Well, 16 compared to 30 isn’t that much...
I found out five of that was nudity too. Topless dancer and a sex scene. I'm not all that sad we lost the Mario Lopez/Jamie Pressley sex scene.
I survived the San Diego Comic Con 2010 Hall H stabbing.


Offline Thrashalla

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2018, 12:15:48 PM »
16 minutes cut. I thought you weren't going to cut that much anymore.

Well, 16 compared to 30 isn’t that much...

This. :P

For real though: Once the guys hit that 25 min+ cut we have backed off quite a bit. As you mentioned in the later post, this wasn't exactly an affront to the director's "vision".
« Last Edit: January 14, 2018, 12:19:48 PM by Thrashalla »
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Offline Retro Muppet Pastor

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2018, 03:30:08 PM »
Well, 16 compared to 30 isn’t that much...
I found out five of that was nudity too. Topless dancer and a sex scene. I'm not all that sad we lost the Mario Lopez/Jamie Pressley sex scene.

I watched the unriffed and uncut version and, aside from that sex scene, I couldn't tell you what was cut.  It was all kind of repetitive so it was utterly un-memorable.
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Offline MrTorso

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2018, 05:12:03 PM »
Haven't watched yet was this cut from the final?



Yowsa!!

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Offline dbsommer

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2018, 06:24:24 PM »
Well, 16 compared to 30 isn’t that much...
I found out five of that was nudity too. Topless dancer and a sex scene. I'm not all that sad we lost the Mario Lopez/Jamie Pressley sex scene.

See, this is fine with me. Some content can be inappropriate (I'm talking you, Jack Frost, and your extracurricular use of carrots) or so redundant that even in a Rifftrax, it will drag the overall product down. The Room was so bad even though football tossing scenes that don't go anywhere abounded, it still worked by leaving them in. But most movies you just want them to get to the effin end.  Such as shirtless Mario Lopez with random expositions looping around like a twisted MC Escher work in your production being one of them.


Offline losingmydignity

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2018, 04:11:34 AM »
Wow, already two riffs in January. Usual there is a long silence with maybe a live show release to tide us over. Not that I'm complaining. I just worry the rifftrax people are neglecting their families ; )


P. S. I hate the male shirtlessness genre. This one better be funny!


Offline CJones

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2018, 12:30:12 PM »
P. S. I hate the male shirtlessness genre. This one better be funny!

Yeah, how come only the female toplessness is cut out?

Also yes, it's very funny  ;)


Offline ManUnderMask

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Re: Now Available - The Journey: Absolution
« Reply #12 on: January 17, 2018, 06:02:53 PM »
I just worry the rifftrax people are neglecting their families ; )

We are their family now.
I survived the San Diego Comic Con 2010 Hall H stabbing.