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Author Topic: Now Available: The Little Unicorn  (Read 903 times)

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Offline Pak-Man

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Now Available: The Little Unicorn
« on: July 14, 2017, 12:33:50 PM »

https://www.rifftrax.com/the-little-unicorn

The Little Unicorn is a tale of whimsy, fantasy, and extremely generous definitions of the word “little.” Turns out making CGI little unicorns is way more difficult than strapping a horn to a regular horse and shining a blue spotlight on it, so the unicorn in question remains little for maybe fifteen seconds of screen time.

When reports of a regular-sized unicorn surface in the English countryside, all the local scumbags are seeing dollar signs. Evidently a completely normal in stature unicorn is something that could make a regional circus owner a millionaire, instead of being the type of thing your average person glances at and goes “Huh” before heading to the concession stand to see if circus peanuts are still as gross as they remember. (They are.)

And since your pre-teen daughter is no doubt pulling on your sleeve and demanding to know, YES, OF COURSE George Hamilton is in this movie!. He stars as the unicorn’s leather saddle.

Join Mike, Kevin, Bill, and a whole bunch of those sparkly puffy unicorn stickers you get for a quarter from the machines after the checkout stands in the grocery store for The Little Unicorn!



Offline The Lurker

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Re: Now Available: The Little Unicorn
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2017, 12:40:53 PM »
Also, David Warner.


Offline ManUnderMask

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Re: Now Available: The Little Unicorn
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2017, 07:42:54 PM »
Is that the farm from The Killer Bees?
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Offline Trekker4747

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Re: Now Available: The Little Unicorn
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2017, 05:23:51 PM »
This one..... this one was tough.  Didn't even make it through it, honestly.  But not a fan of riffing on this "genre" of movie, I guess.


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Now Available: The Little Unicorn
« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2017, 05:20:35 AM »
This was just...boring bad. Yeah, it's not a genre that I like normally anyway. But even considering that it was just a whole lot of inane nothing. Most of the events are caused by the damn unicorn NOT USING IT'S OWN MAGIC POWERS TO SAVE ITSELF!



Offline fodder650

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Re: Now Available: The Little Unicorn
« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2017, 01:14:14 PM »
But that was the point. It didn't use its magic to save its mother. Next it didn't use its magic to save itself because it was supposed to teach a lesson to everyone. Well maybe that wasn't the point. The point was to give work to some actors who needed paychecks before My Little Pony came out.
Oh and it was only a couple weeks old. So it was too stupid to save itself.
Fodder's just this guy, you know.