The Top 50 Vampires Countdown! List of Crap #97

[Johnny Unusual]

#12

Lestat de Lioncourt

82 Points, 6 Lists, #6 CJones and Cole Stratton

Unbiography
Lestat de Lioncourt is a fictional character appearing in several novels by Anne Rice, including The Vampire Lestat. He is a vampire who was the narrator and an antihero in the majority of The Vampire Chronicles.

Lestat's relationship with his father and brothers is bad - he tells his mother "I dream sometimes that I might kill them all. I kill my father and my brothers in the dream. I go from room to room slaughtering them as I did the wolves.", and he attempts to escape from them several times, first by asking to remain at a monastery, and later by running away with a troupe of traveling players. In both instances, he is returned to his family. Encouraged by his mother, who sells her family heirloom jewels to purchase horses, guns, and mastiff dogs for him, Lestat takes up hunting, and soon becomes the family breadwinner.

The townspeople of Lestat's village request his help with a pack of wolves that are terrorizing the town. He rides into the mountains and kills the entire pack of eight, losing his horse, dogs, and nearly his own life in the process. Although his bravery wins him the respect and admiration of the villagers, who present him with a lush red velvet cloak and boots made from the pelts of the wolves, he goes into a deep depression.

Prodded by Gabrielle, he eventually leaves Auvergne with friend and lover Nicolas and heads for Paris, intending to become an actor. During performances, he attracts the attention of an ancient vampire named Magnus, who later abducts him and transforms him into a vampire.

After turning Lestat, Magnus commits suicide, leaving Lestat to fend for himself without any kind of guidance. Lestat finds himself heir to a nearly inexhaustible wealth, and begins an adventure that leads him all around the world.

Because of his boldness, enthusiasm, and defiance, Lestat's seniors refer to him affectionately as "The Brat Prince", a title of which he is very fond. He is very vain and concerned with fashion, and will pause mid-narrative to remind the reader what he is wearing. He enjoys performing on stage, which he does as both a mortal actor in Paris, France and a vampire in his rock band called The Vampire Lestat, that he forms with a group of humans in the 1980s. Lestat is also fond of music; he sings and plays the piano and violin. Although he is illiterate as a mortal man, he learns to read and loves literature as a vampire. In one period of his life, he becomes a hermit and spends every night holed up at home, reading.

The first language that Lestat learns is French, although he "writes" his novels in English. In The Vampire Lestat, he notes that despite his French accent, he speaks English "like a cross between a boatman and Sam Spade" and is fond of slang.

Status
Brat Prince/Rock Star

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/VmKPgH6TjD0" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/VmKPgH6TjD0</a>

[Johnny Unusual]

#11

Vladislav

83 Points, 5 Lists, #2 Asbestos Bill

Unbiography
Vladislav "the Poker" is a vampire who appears in the film What We Do in the Shadows.  He is an 862 year old vampire who once had great power, but claims he lost them when he was defeated by "The Beast".    The Beast in question is Pauline, who broke up with Vladislav some time before the start of the film.  He lives in the flat with the rest of his vampire brothers and is very fond of torture by "poking someone with instruments". 

Status
Flatmate

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/tGa73NrtRfs" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/tGa73NrtRfs</a>

[Johnny Unusual]

That's it for tonight.  Some bonus material tomorrow, then we continue the list up till Halloween.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/sLABwwmKdyc" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/sLABwwmKdyc</a>

[Johnny Unusual]

Interesting Types of Vampires From Around the World!

Jenglot!

Vampire doll(s) of Indonesia!

I know what you are thinking.  "Oh, a Chucky/Annabelle/Zuni Fetish Doll deal!"  Well, not quite.  A Jenglot is a little (or widdle) doll-sized creature that drinks blood.  But here's the catch: they kind of suck at it.  I think.  Wikipedia doesn't make it clear, but it sounds like a Jenglot needs a keeper, as it doesn't mention how they drink blood without them.  Now, the Jenglot need not physically drink the blood. You just place the doll near the blood and it does the rest of the work.  However, some say it pulls a "Weeping Angel" and drinks the blood when no one is looking.

Jenglots are real... sort of.  People claim to have them and they do have dolls (keepers even legally buying human blood from the Red Cross to feed it), but tests on supposed "jenglots" eventually reveal them to be fakes (usually rogue taxidermy).  Now, I don't know the advantages, but becoming a jenglot actually seems to require a lot of effort, so I guess a jenglot is something you must aspire too or something.  To become one, you should try to be a demon worshipping hermit (and maybe worship demons) or be a person of particular spiritual power and mediate in a particular cave.

Now there are some things I'm not clear on.  That thing about the particular cave: I don't know if it's something that can happen by accident. something you intend to do or either.  Also, I've been using "a jenglot" but the article "a" isn't used on the wikipedia page.  So maybe there's supposed to be only one real jenglot or all jenglots are part of one whole jenglot.  Sorry for the lack of clarity there.

[k1]

  Mosquitos!  Wish I had thought of that!

Also, hadn't seen the Emeril Lugosi before! That's awesome!

Since we're talking vampires, here's a musical interlude while we wait for the next number!


<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/10MVcyW5-xk" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/10MVcyW5-xk</a>
https://youtu.be/10MVcyW5-xk

[Johnny Unusual]

Shtriga

The spitting bug witch of Albania!

So, this is a witch that will turn drain people's blood, often babies. It will then leave by turning into a bug.  Once a victim is de-sanguinated, only the shtriga can re-sanguinate them, often by *ugh* spitting into their mouths. 


Artist's interpretation.

Anyway, this means if the witch is causing trouble, you probably want to take her alive.  How?  You can trap her using a cross made of pig bone placed in a Church on Easter Sunday.  Wait, does that mean you can catch only ON Easter Sunday?  Man, that sounds like a pain.  Better take the preventative measures.

So what are the preventative measures?  Well, the thing you really want to avoid his a shtriga's "evil eye".  If you believe in God enough, you can do that. 

Also, here's a nice wikipedia tidbit:

To ward off a witch, people could take a pinch of salt in their fingers and touch their (closed) eyes, mouth, heart and the opposite part of the heart and the pit of the stomach and then throw the salt in direct flames saying "syt i dalçin syt i plaçin" or just whisper 3–6 times "syt i dalçin syt i plaçin" or "plast syri keq."

You can also keep garlic around and put a puppet in your house, since vampire witches are apparently fucking idiots who get Charlie McCarthy mixed up with an Albanian kid.

[Johnny Unusual]

Vrykolakas!

They will knock on your door and sit on you to death!

Vrykolakas are kind of like vampires, though there's less of a focus on blood drinking and more wolf-like features.  They are made by excommunication, being buried on unconcecrated ground, generally being a blasphemor or eating sheep bitten by a werewolf (or even a regular type wolf.  No word on what happens if the sheep is bitten by Air Wolf).  It could also just be a werewolf that died and came back as a vrykolakas, so you are getting two monster in one, here.

Vrykolakas seem to have a variation of the "can't be invited thing" thing, where they knock on your door, calling your name.  They only do it once so if you leave them alone, they'll be on their way shortly enough.  However, if you do answer the door, you will become one of them a few days later.  I don't know if you open the door and they bite you or you just answer the door and they point and laugh and says "Psyche!  You're a monster now!"  Also, if you are asleep, they will crush or suffocate you by sitting on you.

I should point out that as Dracula largely changed how people see and define vampires, the vrykolakas are now synonymous with our types of vampires.  So long, wolf men who want to sit on you.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/UoQ5goVpjyM" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/UoQ5goVpjyM</a>

[Johnny Unusual]

Mandurugo!

Beautiful people with butt-wings.  Also vampires sometimes.

This is a simple one from the Phillipines.  These are vampires that aren't always vampires.  Most of the time, they are the kinnara/kinnari who look like beautiful winged youths (including, sometimes, wings on their butts).  If you see one, treat it well and it will serve you and love you the rest of their days.  Sounds kind of needy, kinnara.  But if you break their hearts, they will turn into a blood-sucking monster.  So don't do that mess.

[Johnny Unusual]

Pumpkins and Watermelons!

First of all, according to legends, any inanimate object left outside on the night of the full moon can become a vampire.  A submarine sandwich.  A hoagie.  A hero.  Even a grinder.  They can all become vampires.  I wish wikipedia would say there THAT particular belief comes from, because it is fascinating.  But the pumpkins/watermelons are from the Balkins, particularly among the Romani people.

So how do you end up with vampire fruit?  Well, as mentioned, leave it out on the night of a full moon.  Other reasons are simply being kept for more than 10 days, if they are kept after Christmas or if they are used as a siphon and then they are left open for three years.  I should point out that the 10 days thing is if they are in a group and then they start fighting among each other.  Which I would love to see.

So how deadly are these monster fruit?  Only slightly more deadly than a regular pumpkin or watermelon. They can move around under their own power and look around houses, stables and rooms looking for someone to harm.  But they don't really do much damage, so it seems like they are more a nuisance than a true danger.

How do you tell if your pumpkin or watermelon has become a vampire?  If you see red "blood" on it, which is natural and common discoloration, apparently.

[Johnny Unusual]

That's it for tonight.  I hope you enjoyed the bonus and thanks to tripe for some ideas.  I would have done more but I got a headache and was super busy at work yesterday.

OK, we go into the top 10 tomorrow!  Until then...

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[PsychoGoatee]

Delightful! (In Bela Legosi voice)

[CJones]

Clearly I need to watch What We Do in the Shadows. I'd never even heard of it before this list.

Nice collection of Vampire-likes. Other than Pumpkins, I'd never heard of any of them either. Oh, wings ON their butts. That makes more sense than the image I first envisioned when I read "Beautiful people with butt-wings."

[Johnny Unusual]

I was imagining a bullet with butt-wings.  Despite all my rage.

[Johnny Unusual]

#10

Grandpa

84 Points, 7 Lists, #2 Stethacantus

Unbiography
Vladimir Dracula, Count of Transylvania (known as "Grandpa"), is a fictional character in the CBS sitcom The Munsters, originally played by Al Lewis.  The doting, irritable, and sarcastic father of Lily Munster, Grandpa is an undead vampire.  The role was later played by Howard Morton in the 1980s television series The Munsters Today.

Grandpa keeps a laboratory in the cellar of the house, and often refers to "going down to the lab." The potions and magic spells he devises there are central to many of the show's stories. Many of his inventions are less than successful, but he never stops thinking up new ones.

Grandpa can transform himself into a wolf or a bat, as per Bram Stoker's Dracula. In "Herman's Sorority Caper" and Munster, Go Home! it is revealed that he takes special pills to turn himself into these creatures. In later episodes however, and in all episodes of The Munsters Today he changes to and from a bat simply at will.

Grandpa has an extremely sarcastic personality, and often insults his son-in-law Herman. Despite this, Grandpa and Herman are quite close; in one episode, Lily says that if not for Herman, Grandpa would be "living in a cave picking fleas out of his wings". Most of the Munsters episodes revolve around the zany schemes Grandpa and Herman concoct, which either end successfully or result in Lily scolding the two for their failure. This was a comedic strength of the show that followed on from The Munsters to The Munsters Today.

While Grandpa is generally considered the wisest member of the family, he also has a decidedly stubborn streak. If he feels he isn't getting his due respect, he will let everyone know it, and often sulk or go to extreme lengths to demonstrate his offense at a perceived slight. While generally a successful mad scientist and magician, he shows a somewhat sloppy approach to his craft, often proceeding with unwise experiments, without taking sensible precautions.

Grandpa is depicted as a goofish yet loveable mad scientist. He has a pet bat named Igor who "hangs around" in Grandpa's lab. And much like a bat, Grandpa sleeps hanging upside down from the ceiling: usually in the living room, the attic, or the lab (the interior of his bedroom was never shown on the series).

Status
Mad scientist

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/WNAJhfT_dSc" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/WNAJhfT_dSc</a>
"Your friend, Grandpo"?  He clearly just said Grandpo.

[Johnny Unusual]

#9

Marceline the Vampire Queen

91 Points, 6 Lists, #1 Quirk

Unbiography
Marceline the Vampire Queen is a prominent character in the TV series Adventure Time and was also the lead character in the Adventure Time mini-series "Stakes".  Born a half-demon/half-human to lord of the Nightosphere (think Hell) Hunson Abadeer and an unnamed human mother, Marceline was present on Earth during the "Great Mushroom War" which decimated much of humanity, followed slowly by magic returning to the Earth.  Marceline was protected by scientist Simon Petrakov but due to his increasing madness caused by the magic crown he used to protect himself, he left her behind.

She eventually became a vampire hunter when the vampires returned after the Great Mushroom War, using her soul sucking powers to gain the abilities of each vampire she defeated.  However, during her battle with the Vampire King, the last vampire, the King allowed himself to die in a successful gambit to turn Marceline into a vampire so that the vampire race would live on.

With the vampires defeated, Marceline then became an wanderer, looking for new experiences, especially fun ones, for around 1,000 years.  Marceline would also have a relationship for a time with Princess Bubblegum, the candy princess of her own kingdom.  Marceline eventually meets adventurers Finn and Jake in one of her old houses and kicks them out.  When Finn finally fights back against her, she's impressed by his moxie and it doesn't take long for the three to become good friends and musical collaborators.

Marceline is a rock and roll star in the Land of Ooo (the world Earth became) and though is a good person, lives by a different moral code than most of her friends, as her vampire and demonic world view and long life give her a different outlook (she was pretty indiffent when her Dad attempted to eat all the souls in Ooo).  She is often quite mischievous but values her friends very much.  She also has serious bouts of depression, which she often tries to work through in her music, and can fly into a rage when she feels she is wronged.  Though she can drink blood, she doesn't need to as instead she simply drinks shades of red, draining them of their color.  She can even drink pink, a low-grade red, though it isn't as filling or nutricious.  She also is often out in the sun, but using umbrellas and highly protective sunscreen.
 
Status
Rock star.  Hell, she's in a band with Death and SHE fronts it.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/fvUqmGYxo8M" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/fvUqmGYxo8M</a>