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Author Topic: Distressing Messages =/  (Read 21370 times)

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Offline Fuzzy Necromancer

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #30 on: April 16, 2007, 11:44:21 AM »
I motion that the normal laws of supply and demand don't quite apply to Willy Wonka. He's got an effective monopoly. Throughout the story and the film, it's made clear that compared to the products of Wonka all other chocolate is but a pale chalky flavorless shadow. He has infinitely superior product quality and consumer loyalty, as well as universal brand-name recognition. He has money to blow.

The TV-chocolate I must defend. It doesn't just make it appear on one television, it makes it appear on any and all televisions that it's broadcast to. It only reappeared on one television because he had it on a closed-circuit loop while it was in the testing phase. Presumably, the first idea he had was to get free samples out to anybody with a television set, but it has further practical and financially sound applications. Shipping expenses are a thing of the past when you can manufacture a giant food unit and broadcast it to every store on the planet. No doubt uncle same would pay big bucks for such an item after Wonka got bored with it; what senator wouldn't relish a way to transport heavy artillery instantaneously while bringing thousands of jobs to his district for the construction of a 220ft high tank?

The exploding candy only knocks out teeth because it is still in an unrefined stage.

The whole-meal chewing gum, once you work out the expansion-problem, would be something to sell to nasa or the military as low-weight, low-volume food (again, skip the public sector and go to the cushy government contracts). MREs have nothing on a rich and filling meal that can be conveyed in a package the size of a gumstick.

The ever-lasting gobstoppers would wind up being replaced now and then do to the simple fact that you can only have the same thing in your mouth for so long before you either spit it out or swallow it.


Any financial losses not recouped by these methods can probably be made up for with the sale of his incredible youth-drug, as detailed in the sequel "The Great Glass Elevator".
Love doesn't hurt. It kills.

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Offline Fuzzy Necromancer

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #31 on: April 16, 2007, 11:47:26 AM »
wow thats bizaarly terrifying.
I think that could be a response to most of the things that happen in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
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Offline sarcasm_made_Easy

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #32 on: April 16, 2007, 09:12:17 PM »
i disagree with the MRE vs the gum stick.  there is no evidence to support it actually gives you the NUTRIENTS of an MRE, it merely gives you the flavor of a meal.  so in this case it wouldnt work for the military but it WOULD work as a weight loss prgram since it would make the brain think it HAS eaten. 


Offline Sharktopus

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #33 on: April 16, 2007, 11:07:51 PM »
What I found disturbing about the entire Wonka world was just how saturated it was with inuendo and dirty jokes.....

Look up what a GobStopper & a Shnozzberry are.... Yeah.....

I think the adult meanings came use after the movie, though it doesn't make it any less weird...


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #34 on: April 17, 2007, 04:15:11 PM »
Pretty sure they wouldn't sell these if the dirty meaning was intended:


Offline LadyKenobi

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #35 on: April 19, 2007, 09:05:30 PM »
1)  As someone who has worked with jockeys, I wouldn't feel so creeped out by the O-L's if they'd crack a smile once in a while.  Shudder.

2) That's right folks!  No more tedious carrying of rats (or Wonka bars) across the room!


Offline Minnesota

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #36 on: April 20, 2007, 05:35:39 AM »
well they are singing, thats a good sign right? ... The creepiest thing I saw the omppa's do was shrink that tv kid down, that omppa totally did that on purpose.


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #37 on: April 20, 2007, 04:09:15 PM »
I like Wonka's half-hearted attempts to stop the kids from mutilating themselves. The blase' "Wait! Stop!" or whatever he said. Wonka makes it clear. You break Wonka's contract, you're not coming out the same size/shape/color you were when you came in. :^)


Offline sarcasm_made_Easy

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #38 on: April 20, 2007, 11:49:27 PM »
Quote
. You break Wonka's contract, you're not coming out the same size/shape/color you were when you came in. :^)

yeah his factory is basically a big death maze with more whimsy


Offline SuperMappy

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #39 on: April 21, 2007, 02:23:03 AM »
I've often wondered if the Health Department makes routine inspections of the Wonka  factory. Like Mike and Neil said in the rifftrax, boats floating a chocolate, shoes dropped into candy for extra kick, lickable wall paper, it all sounds rather hazardous!


Offline Ranika

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #40 on: April 21, 2007, 02:49:55 PM »
Maybe a number of inspectors have already been 'dealt with' by Wonka's whimsical death machines and they're afraid to send more. Wonka's factory is an eerie place of cheerful whimsy and suffering. Of course, he might just use it to terrify the inspectors so much they don't really notice much else. Can't punish him for having a place that's just scary and weird, which is what Wonka draws attention to (all the while, moronic fat children are falling into rivers of chocolate, little brats are getting stuck in televisions, etc.). Wonka is like a magician; misdirecting the inspector's attention. And those he can't misdirect, dead. When they come asking about the whereabouts of the inspector who has died, Wonka states he simply never arrived, keeping his evil empire going.
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Offline AmazingThor

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #41 on: April 23, 2007, 05:43:07 AM »
I'm waiting for the Oompas to unionize. Sic Semper Tyranus!


Offline Cosmic Muse

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #42 on: April 26, 2007, 11:39:33 PM »
Maybe a number of inspectors have already been 'dealt with' by Wonka's whimsical death machines and they're afraid to send more. Wonka's factory is an eerie place of cheerful whimsy and suffering. Of course, he might just use it to terrify the inspectors so much they don't really notice much else. Can't punish him for having a place that's just scary and weird, which is what Wonka draws attention to (all the while, moronic fat children are falling into rivers of chocolate, little brats are getting stuck in televisions, etc.). Wonka is like a magician; misdirecting the inspector's attention. And those he can't misdirect, dead. When they come asking about the whereabouts of the inspector who has died, Wonka states he simply never arrived, keeping his evil empire going.

Sounds to me like Will Wonka and the "Pagans" from the Wicker Man remake converse on a regular basis mostly on the subject of getting rid of petty nuisances like health inspectors and law enforcement types.
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Offline Fuzzy Necromancer

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #43 on: April 27, 2007, 01:23:03 PM »
The difference is that the wonka plan actually works, and doesn't require him to set them up with a false lead  and waste what feels like several weeks of screen time letting him wander aimlessly and steal an oompa loompah's bear costume.
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Offline Zooball

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Re: Distressing Messages =/
« Reply #44 on: May 18, 2008, 12:37:52 PM »
I'm wondering if the Ooompa Loompa's came up with the golden ticket thing to get a new boss?
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